CHAPTER 34 Miller Banks
Eighteen Months
“Are you nervous?” I ask, mainly because I feel a strange, unfamiliar dart of anxiety, and I can’t help but wonder if it’s my anxiety or his .
I’m not sure what I have to be anxious about. I’m here with Sophie, we’re about to embark on a cruise for the next week with thirty of our closest family members, and my brother is getting married today.
“Maybe a little. Not for me, but for her. What if she realized she can do better than me and decides not to show up today?” my brother asks, and it’s a rare show of vulnerability from someone who is normally overly confident, bordering on cocky.
But it’s me. I’m the one person aside from his bride who he shows that vulnerable side to.
“You two are perfect together. You know she won’t realize that.” I try to give him the calm reassurance he needs.
“You know, we never did the twin switch thing,” he says.
“Where we swap places on some poor, unsuspecting woman? ”
He lifts a shoulder and gives me a wry nod of his head. We thought about it once back in high school, but I was too far gone over Sophie to agree to it.
“We still have time,” I tease. “You’re not married yet.”
He narrows his eyes at me. “Are you saying you want to take a crack at Cass? Because the answer is—”
“Fuck no,” I finish for him, interrupting him. “And I’m not giving you a crack at Soph, either. Though she’d know the difference between the two of us. Wouldn’t Cassie?”
“For sure. Especially the cock. She’d know as soon as she saw how much smaller you are.”
I narrow my eyes at him. “I may be two inches shorter than you, but I more than make up for it everywhere else.”
We both get a good laugh out of that, and the rest of our brothers show up to the room at the Bellagio where we’re hanging out until the ceremony.
“Okay, all four of you are married,” Tanner says. “So hit me with your best marriage advice.”
Lincoln goes first, and his words are very much in line with his personality as a leader and a coach. “You’ve got a teammate for life, and as long as you put in the work and adjust your strategies when you need to, you’ll be fine.”
“Thanks, man,” Tanner says, and Grayson slaps him on the back next.
“Keep her happy, man. That’s all that you need to know for a successful marriage. And if you fuck up, which you will since you’re a dude, fight your ass off to make it up to her.”
Spencer just laughs at Grayson and says, “What he said. Or, you know…don’t fuck up in the first place.”
And Asher is last with advice that’s right in line with what I’d expect from him, too. “Keep her on her toes so she doesn’t get bored with you. ”
I laugh at all four of them and think how incredible it is that we’re all one big family now.
I hear a knock at the door, and I open it to find our mom and dad standing there.
“We’ll head out to give you all some time. Good luck out there, man,” Lincoln says to Tanner, and the four Nash brothers head out to the courtyard with the fountains where the ceremony is set to begin in about twenty minutes.
Mom walks over and grabs Tanner into a tight embrace.
“I’m so proud of you, my boy. It feels like just yesterday I was holding you for those twelve minutes before your brother came along, and I remember thinking that no woman would ever be good enough for my sweet boys.
But then Cassie came along, and I saw how she healed the things in you that were broken right from the start.
You always deserved the very best, and I think you found her with that woman. ”
I feel emotional with her words, and those words weren’t even directed toward me.
Of the two of us, I’ve always been the more emotional twin.
Tanner always lived by the theory that emotions just get in the way—until he met Cassie, anyway.
As for me, I always found emotions to be the very things that direct our lives.
They help us survive, they motivate us, and they connect us.
Without them, we’d be reduced to robots.
It’s easy to say that now since I’m happy where I’m at with Sophie. But for a long time, they were a nuisance that did nothing but cause me pain and distress.
Still, I channeled that into motivation, and look where I am now.
Okay…fine. It’s not the best place to be considering she still doesn’t know about how deeply my feelings for her actually run, but we’ll get there. Someday. Definitely.
“Thanks, Mom,” Tanner says softly .
Dad claps me on the back, and I’m glad we’re back to where we always were.
It was a long road getting here considering the fact that both Tanner and I felt lied to when we found out that our biological dad was Eddie Nash, not Charles Banks, but part of learning that life is short is also acknowledging the fact that sometimes people act in ways that protect the ones they love.
Like me not telling Sophie about how long I’ve been in love with her.
Our parents head out first, and then it’s just Tanner and me—much like it has been our whole lives despite always having people surrounding us, rooting for us, and wishing the best for us.
“You got this, bro,” I say to him, and he nods.
“So do you, you know.”
“Yeah, I know. I think I’ll probably admit the truth on the cruise. Depends how drunk we get.” I duck my head a little as if I’m joking. I’m not.
He chuckles, but it’s meaningless small talk. We stare at each other for a beat, and then he says, “You know this doesn’t change anything.”
I nod. “I know. It’s you and me. We’re just adding someone into the mix. And some kids to keep you on your toes. They’ll come first now, as they should, but I know you’re there if I need you.”
He presses his lips together. “Always.” He holds out his hand so we can do our secret handshake, and I slap his hand with mine. We move back to slap hands backward, grab hands, shake, fist bump, and hug.
It’s the last time we’ll do this as two single men. A year and a half ago, I’m not sure either of us could possibly have seen that this is where we’d be today.
Tanner getting married to a woman seven years older than him with two kids. Our four new half-brothers present at the wedding. Sophie here as my date. The two of us living and playing in San Diego. Gaining and losing a biological father.
What a change a mere eighteen months has brought. It kind of makes me wonder what sorts of changes the next eighteen months will bring.
Or, you know…even the next eighteen days.
I escort Jess down the aisle just after Cassie’s two kids, Luca and Lily, who are playing the parts of ring bearer and flower girl, and we take our places. I seek out Sophie in the crowd, and I grin at her when our eyes connect.
My brother walks down the aisle next, and then the music changes, and Cassie appears on the arm of her father.
Twenty-three minutes later, my brother is married. He kisses his new wife with the officiant’s permission, and everyone laughs at the “Ew!” from Cassie’s eight-year-old that forces the bride and groom to break apart.
“Introducing Mr. and Mrs. Tanner and Cassie Banks!”
It’s official. They walk hand-in-hand back up the aisle, and Jess and I follow with Cassie’s parents ushering the kids behind us toward the conservatory at the Bellagio, which I guess means something to Cassie and Tanner since they wanted the wedding photos done in there.
A million pictures later, we head for the reception, where we eat, drink, and dance the night away.
And the more we drink, the closer we dance. When the parents start to leave a little after ten, the close dancing turns into downright grinding, which eventually we take upstairs to do naked.
When morning dawns, my head is pounding, and we have to get up to get ready for brunch at ten at Lincoln’s house.
I need to have a serious talk with whoever planned brunch the morning after the wedding. None of us should be forced to get up this early .
Okay, fine. Ten isn’t that early. But I’m thirty now, and I can’t party like I did when I was in my twenties. It’s like something happened overnight that changed everything, and I’m sure I don’t like it.
But waking up with Sophie by my side…now that I like.