CHAPTER 45 Sophie Summers
An Announcement
The massage is wonderful, the facial is lovely, and the spa in general is great.
It doesn’t change anything. It only serves as a brief distraction.
How the hell am I going to get through the next four weeks?
I meet the ladies for a late afternoon tea time. I have no idea where Miller is at.
In fact, I don’t see him at all until dinner. He isn’t even in the room before dinner, so either he’s avoiding me or he’s out with the guys.
Our dinner conversation consists of what we did separately today, and it sounds like the basketball game was quite the event—at least from Grayson’s perspective it was. Spencer seems less enthused about it.
“You okay?” Miller asks me quietly somewhere around dessert.
I press my lips together and nod, but the truth is…I’m not sure if I am .
Regardless of what happened last night, I’m not sure whether there’s a future ahead for the two of us if we don’t want the same things.
And the longer I sit with the idea that I could be pregnant, the more I think about how that is definitely something I want in my future.
And he doesn’t.
It’s better to figure this out now, truthfully. We can’t go ahead with a wedding next February and mean the vows as we both said we would the other night if we want different things for our future. And kids? That’s a big one. It’s not like I want a cat and he doesn’t.
This is a lifelong commitment, and regardless of whether I am or I’m not pregnant right at this moment, if he doesn’t want that commitment and I do…then it’s never going to work between us long term.
And that thought breaks my heart.
Mostly because I can only see this as the end of the road for us.
I don’t know how we go back to being friends after everything we’ve been through the last few months.
I don’t know how future partners are going to feel about me being so close with someone who’s my ex.
And I don’t know if I can share the same kinds of things with someone knowing he’s been in love with me as long as he has.
After dinner, the men participate in the poker tournament hosted by the casino. The ladies are invited, too, of course, but none of us want to play. It’s more fun to watch, anyway.
Miller’s doing well, and he’s still in it when the clock strikes eleven. I’m exhausted, and I don’t even know why. It’s not like I did anything strenuous today, but the massage was so relaxing that I think I’m just done for the day.
I lean in toward Miller after he wins another hand. “I’m going to head up to bed,” I say quietly .
He turns and looks at me. “You okay?” It’s the second time tonight he’s asked me that, and just like the first time, I lie.
“I’m fine. Just tired.”
He puckers his lips for a kiss, and I give him one even though it feels like it’s more for show for everyone around us than it is for us.
I push that icky feeling away and head up to our stateroom alone.
The alarm wakes us bright and early for another early meeting for an excursion. Today we’re doing ATVs and ziplining with the six brothers and their significant others. Kids and parents are staying behind, and if I didn’t have all this other stuff weighing on me, I’d be excited for the day.
We take a quick glance in the first shop at the port, but they mainly sell alcohol, not Plan B.
This isn’t a quiet, romantic excursion where we can talk and work things out, but instead it’s active, and we’re surrounded by other people all day.
Our excursion runs late, which means we don’t have time to look in the shops because we have to haul ass back to the ship.
I’m starting to believe Cassie’s words more and more. What’s meant to be will be.
If we can’t get our hands on Plan B, then maybe I’m not meant to take it. Maybe I won’t be pregnant at all…or maybe I will be, and that baby was meant for me.
When we get to dinner, I realize we only have one more night together on this ship. We’ll go home, and things will return to normal.
Kind of.
Except…not really.
A week after we get back, training camp will start, and I don’t know what our new reality will look like. He may not even be home the first time I take a pregnancy test. I might have to take it alone.
I might have to deal with the results—positive or negative—alone.
And I might have to sort through whatever feelings come with that…alone.
I’ve never felt abandoned by Miller before, but I’ve also never been in the role I’m currently playing with him. I always knew he had different obligations during the season, so of course I’d see less of him.
I didn’t think about what implications that would hold as his fiancée or girlfriend or whatever it is I am to him now, and I’m already starting to feel that.
Maybe he’s pulling away because he’s mentally preparing for the season.
And I can tell myself to justify things between us all I want, but I know it’s because he’s going through whatever feelings he’s harboring, and whatever they are…
he doesn’t want to talk to me about them.
And that hurts more than it should.
“Today was fun,” Asher says, making casual conversation once the table is filled with the rest of us. Desi holds their one-year-old, and he glances at the two of them before he says, “And tonight will be fun, too.”
“We have an announcement,” Desi says. She turns Jake so we can all see his shirt.
Big Brother.
“Big brother?” Grayson says, reading the shirt. “Wait, are you—” He points a finger between Asher and Desi, and they’re both laughing as the rest of us put it together.
“We’re having another baby,” Desi says. “We just told Mom and Dad a few minutes ago, and Missy, too.” Our heads all swing to the parents’ table, where Bill and Sue Dixon are beaming at their daughter, and Missy is wiping her eyes.
“But your daiquiris all week—” Ava begins, and Desi laughs.
“Virgin!”
“Unlike her, apparently,” Asher says, wiggling his eyebrows.
What follows can only be described as a chorus of joyous “Congratulations!” and excitement.
So another baby. We’re seemingly surrounded by them.
Desi’s pregnant, and this enthusiasm and love and happiness around the table is what a pregnancy announcement should be met with.
Not the fear and retreating of a broken condom.
I draw in a deep breath and wipe the corner of my eye. I’m happy for them, truly. They’re a lovely couple, and they deserve everything they want.
“When are you due?” Ava asks once everyone sits back down.
“February tenth,” Desi says.
“Oh, cool. Maybe the cousins will be born on the same date,” Grayson says.
“The cousins?” Asher asks.
Grayson and Ava look like they’re about to burst with excitement.
“Oh my God, you’re pregnant?” Desi asks Ava, and she’s grinning as she nods.
The same excitement rolls around again, and everyone gets up to hug Ava and Grayson—including Missy, who heard everything and rushes over from the next table to congratulate her son and daughter-in-law.
Two babies, both due around the same time.
And maybe another one coming two months later.
I feel Miller’s gaze on my profile, but I don’t dare turn to look at him.
It suddenly feels like we’re surrounded by babies.
“Guess that just leaves you and me,” Grace teases me as we all sit back down.
I nearly choke on my water, but I force a quick recovery. “Guess so.”
But maybe not.