12. Chapter 11
Chapter 11
Felix
T he drive to the restaurant felt awkward, or so I had thought. I wanted to ease myself into conversation with Alisha but after our staring match, the words just didn’t seem to come out. She looked beautiful. I wished I had told her that when I initially complimented her. I told her she had looked ‘nice’. A meagre word for someone who practically caused me to palpitate and lose sense of reality. Absolutely stunning would have been better to say. She looked gorgeous in that pink jumper and her perfectly glossed lips—lips I already knew I wanted to kiss but wouldn’t dare tonight.
No, I needed to remain composed. I ignored the strain in my trousers as I started to think about her lips, her skin, and the way she was tapping her index finger on her thigh. I almost wanted to push her hand away and replace it with mine. To stop driving altogether and pull her against my body. It was very clear that I was attracted to her. I had tried to deny it for the past twenty-four hours but now it was painstakingly obvious to me. I tightened the grip on my steering wheel and bit down gently on my tongue, trying to distract myself from my heated thoughts.
“Ah, we’re here,” I finally said and Alisha blinked a couple of times to focus on our surroundings. Down Under was a restaurant inside Hotel Germania and I had been here a few times with my sister. I was looking forward to having my usual garlic cream soup and then cordon bleu for the main course- a satisfying combination of pork, ham, cheese, French fries and cranberries that I particularly enjoyed. The hotel itself had a black and white exterior and the rooms were rather classic with lots of space. I had stayed here once, a few years ago. It was comfortable and not too expensive.
“Thanks for driving us,” Alisha finally said, and whether I liked it or not, I felt as though I was succumbing to the sound of her voice. Her words felt like honey, gliding down my skin.
“No problem,” I managed to muster out from my lips and hoped to the high heavens my voice didn’t betray the anxiety bubbling beneath the surface.
“Looking forward to a nice slap-up meal.” Alisha grinned, revealing her straight, white teeth. I wondered how many men in her life had fallen surrender to her smile?
“Slap-up?” I questioned. I was still trying to get my head around English terms since I’d started speaking the language about five years ago. I’d been dedicated to learning and was grateful that I hadn’t given up despite the challenge.
“Means a large and enjoyable meal,” Alisha replied.
“I see. I thought it meant something else. I guess there are lots of phrases I need to learn,” I said.
Maybe she could teach me.
We’d been sitting in the car for far too long for my liking and the strain in my trousers hadn’t eased, so one of us had to make the move to get out of the car. I decided that it would be me, stuffing my car keys into my hand and stepping out of the seat to be greeted by the fresh, crisp Austrian air.
Alisha followed suit and I didn’t miss the way her jumper rode up slightly, revealing part of her stomach. As we both were out of the car, I locked it with the press of a button and then shoved my hands in my pockets, angling my head towards Alisha, who was waiting patiently. She had a mysterious look on her face as she scanned my features for something I wasn’t sure of. It felt like she was trying to undress me with those eyes of hers, and maybe I could let her. But that was a danger zone I shouldn’t enter.
“There’s a good choice to select from,” I told her as we started to walk toward the front entrance.
“Willkommen.” We were greeted by a friendly doorman who had soft green eyes that sparkled under the front door lights and his blond hair was perfectly slicked back. I felt a pang of, dare I say it, slight jealousy as Alisha fluttered her eyelashes at him while he gave her a sloppy grin. Maybe she hadn’t done that on purpose but that prompted me to place my hand on the small of her back as we entered inside. We definitely weren’t a couple, I had to remind myself. But it was almost like I wanted all of her to myself tonight. All of her attention.
You sound like a fucking fool.
“Shut up,” I whispered to my conscious, wondering why on earth he decided to pop up now. I was glad Alisha hadn’t heard as she walked by my side, and then, finally, we reached the restaurant itself. My hand hadn’t wavered from her back and to my surprise, she hadn’t made a move to remove it or even say anything about it. Maybe she liked it.
“Welcome to Down Under. May I take your name?” the host asked, and I looked at his name tag, which revealed his name was Leon. I hadn’t met him before, given that I hadn’t been here in a few months. He had brown, cropped hair, which was dusted with some grey hairs and he seemed to be in his late forties if I guessed correctly. His eyes were a deep, ocean blue, and I could tell he was a well-respected man.
“Felix Bauer,” I replied, and Leon nodded, ticking my name off on the piece of paper in front of him.
“I’ll show you both to your table,” he stated and held his arm out to usher us through. The restaurant was quiet for now but I knew later in the evening, clients would start rolling in. Leon presented a table that was tucked away in a corner and decorated with scented candles, shining plates, and cutlery that looked almost too perfect. I was glad we would be sitting here, away from prying eyes. It wouldn’t do my anxiety any good.
“Thank you,” Alisha said to the host as he held out the chair for her. He also did the same for me and I thanked him, making a note to tip him later. There was some gentle music playing in the background and it helped to ease the awkwardness I was feeling. I wasn’t too sure whether I’d drink alcohol tonight since I was driving, but I felt I needed at least one drink to course itself through my system.
“Wow, it’s nice in here,” Alisha noted as she glanced around the room, and when her eyes met mine, I tightened my grip on my thighs. Must relax, don’t panic.
“I’ve been here a few times. I hope you like the food,” I said. Because maybe we could come here again. And next time, I won’t be such a lovesick puppy.
“I’m sure I will. I’m a girl who always has a big appetite. Plus, I’m writing about the food I’ve been trying for the article,” Alisha said, now playing with her knife and fork on the table. I noticed the way her chest rose and fell in an easy, steady pattern and reminded myself to focus on my own breathing. Inhale and exhale.
“How is that coming along?” I asked her out of curiosity. I could tell she was dedicated to her job. I mean, why else would she have flown a load of miles to be here? She had passion. Something which I was lacking in my own job. I wasn’t sure what to do about it but it definitely wasn’t a long-term position. I needed something that would help me make a difference. I just didn’t know what. I really had been a lost soul for some time. Enough wallowing now Bauer, and focus on the woman in front of you. A beautiful woman at that.
“Well, I’ve been writing snippets here and there. I think there will be a lot of edits with the final draft though. This is kind of my big break, so I really want to do well with this,” Alisha said, giving me a wry smile.
“I understand. What inspires you to write?” I asked her, because now I was intrigued.
“I would say the people in my life. I have a loving family and a great best friend,” she said and I noticed the way her visage softened as she mentioned her family and friend. It reminded me of my own and how, although my life was a mess right now, at least I had them. That was a treasure I should be proud of.
“And where do you see yourself in the future?” I continued, feeling confident in asking her more. As she was about to answer, one of the waiters stopped in front of the table and was poised with a notepad in his hand.
“Can I take your drink orders?” he asked hesitantly, almost as if he knew he interrupted something. I was surprised he wasn’t speaking in German, perhaps he heard us speaking in English.
“Yes, please. May I have a glass of Coca-Cola?” Alisha asked politely.
“The same for me, please,” I said, surprising myself as normally I’d go for something alcoholic first. The waiter, having written down our drinks order, scurried off to the bar and then Alisha and I focused back on one another.
“So to answer your question, I’m hoping in the future to be an established journalist for Culture Horizon. And then maybe I’d like to be married with a kid. What about you, Felix?” she asked, and I loved the way my name rolled off her tongue. I wanted her to say it again.
“Well, I don’t really like my job at the moment. I feel like I am stuck there. So maybe in the future, I could be working abroad. I’m not sure if I see myself settling down,” I trailed off on the last sentence. I didn’t want to talk about my previous relationship tonight, I decided. Otherwise, it would ruin the mood. No, I would focus on the woman in front of me who was staring at me with vivid interest. For the first time in a while, I felt as though someone was truly keen to be in my presence. Maybe I needed to drop the frosty attitude I had been maintaining for the last few months and make a new friend. I could handle that.
“I totally know what you mean. I’ve been in many jobs where I’ve hated them. But I’ve realised that you shouldn’t waste your time on a job you hate. Life is too short for that. Have you ever thought about quitting?” Alisha asked and as I contemplated the thought, our drinks arrived. I quickly took a swig of my drink and relished the fizz on my tongue. I surprisingly had missed drinking soda.
“I have, yes. I guess it’s just hard to find the courage to quit. You get comfortable after some time,” I admitted. Alisha seemed to take my words in but said nothing else. I didn’t mind that.
It was time to order our food and Alisha asked for the tomato cream soup to start, then chicken breast for her main. Two good choices, and I liked that she was a soup woman. With food ordered, we relaxed back into conversation. This was going better than I initially thought.
“Tell me your favourite colour,” Alisha demanded.
“I like green. You?” I darted the question back to her. Green, in my opinion, was a calm colour.
“I like blue and gold. My apartment back home has a mixture of these colours,” she said. I wondered what home was like for her. Whether she lived alone or with someone. What did she do on the weekend? My mind was now swimming with endless questions but I allowed myself to just ask one.
“So, do you live with anyone?” I asked, taking a long sip of my drink. I noticed the way she touched her hair, slinging it back so that I could see more of her neck.
“Nope. I’m a loner.” Alisha laughed, placing both of her hands on her glass and softly gripping it.
“Me too,” I said. My mind wandered back to a time when I wasn’t living alone, but the more I realised it, living with my ex had been a nightmare. There had been zero communication and most of the time, I took responsibility for things.
“You alright?” Alisha’s question pulled me out of my pit of thoughts, which I was very glad for. I focused my attention back on her and willed myself to stop thinking of the past. The present was looking pretty good right now.
“I’m okay,” I said and I believed it. For the first time.
“Good. I just want you to know something. I understand whatever it is you’re going through. You don’t have to tell me. But I get it. So if you need a friend, I am here,” Alisha said, and I hovered on the word ‘friend’. I needed that. I needed someone to care. And the woman in front of me was showing me that, even if we didn’t really know one another that well.
“Dealt with your fair share of heartache?” I queried as, finally, our starters were placed in front of us. After all this talking, I was very hungry but I would wait until Alisha started eating. I wanted to be a gentleman.
“Oh, absolutely. But I’ve bounced back from it. The past is the past. I’d like it to stay there.”
“You’re right there, of course,” I agreed. Her honesty was refreshing.
“Well, bon appetite.” Alisha smiled at me, diving her spoon into her bowl and waiting for me to do the same.
“Genie?en,” I replied.
“What does that mean?” Alisha cocked her head slightly.
“It means ‘enjoy’. Maybe I should teach you some German,” I offered, half hoping she’d take me up on the offer. Anything to spend more time with her.
“I’ll take you up on that.” She grinned, which caused my heart to beat faster.
We tucked into our starters, every so often talking about Ischgl and what it had to offer. Shortly after we finished, our mains came and I tried to ignore the soft moans falling from her mouth as she ate the chicken breast. It was doing all sorts to me as I tried to focus on chewing my own food.
“What are your plans tomorrow?” I asked courageously. I was hinting that perhaps we could do something together. I knew she would have a ski lesson but she probably had some free time after. I would invite her friend Ophelia too, if she wanted to come.
“First thing is my ski lesson. Then I’m free for the rest of the day,” Alisha told me, placing her knife and fork on her plate to signal she was finished. I had finished just before her and was relaxing back into my seat, my hands resting on my thighs again. But this time, I wasn’t gripping them. I’d noticed that about half an hour ago, I was much more relaxed.
“Would you like to do something?” I hoped she would say yes. I wanted to be in her company again. Over the course of this evening, I’d come to realise how kind she was and how my initial impression of her had been wrong. She wasn’t just some nosy tourist. I wished I hadn’t been so cold to her but what I did next would make a difference.
“What do you suggest?” Alisha raised one eyebrow as our plates were being taken away.
“How does a hike sound? I’ll provide a picnic.” I almost couldn’t believe the words that had come out of my mouth, but I liked it.
“I do love the fresh air. But I bet it’ll be cold,” Alisha said, and she was right. It would be. But there was something about walking in the cold air that was refreshing. Plus, tomorrow was going to be sunnier than normal.
“We’ll just have to bundle ourselves up. I’ll treat you to some hot chocolate too,” I said, and her eyes lit up at this.
She was a fan of hot chocolate, good.
“You’ve convinced me now.” Alisha chuckled, a sound I was beginning to really like. I liked that I was making her laugh.
“How was everything for you?” The waiter had reappeared and was probably going to ask us if we wanted any dessert.
“Delicious, thank you. I don’t think I’ll have any dessert. How about you, Felix?” Again, hearing her say my name was causing my heart to beat faster. I wondered what her lips tasted like, probably as sweet as cherries.
“I won’t have any either. Just the bill, please,” I said, and the waiter nodded, heading off to grab the card machine as well as the bill.
“Are we going Dutch tonight, then?” Alisha smirked.
“No, I’m paying. My treat,” I told her. It was no problem at all. I was just grateful for her company. For the way she had eased us into the conversation.
“Thank you,” was all she said. No, thank you.
After paying for the bill, which wasn’t too expensive, we walked back to my car and I dived my hand into my pocket to grab my keys to unlock it. I didn’t want the night to end but I could tell she was tired, as she yawned and stretched her arms slightly above her head.
“Thank you again. I’m one happy, satisfied woman now.” Alisha grinned as we were buckled into our seats. I wondered what really, truly satisfied her when it came to relationships. Was she a romantic like me?
“I am glad you had a good time. Thank you for joining me tonight. It has been a while since I’ve been out with a woman,” I said and then instantly regretted saying that. I probably sounded desperate. But to my surprise, Alisha gently placed her hand on top of mine, which was placed on the gear stick.
“It’s been a while since I’ve been out with a man. We’ve got a lot in common,” she said, giving my hand a squeeze. It was maddening, the way her gentle touch was sending me into overdrive.
“We do,” I acknowledged. If I didn’t start driving now, I didn’t know what would happen. Whether she’d make the first move or whether I would have to, but perhaps tonight wasn’t the night. I still wanted to get to know her but also, to respect her wishes.
It wasn’t long before I parked up in front of her accommodation and the pair of us unbuckled our belts, hopping out of the car quickly. I blew out a deep breath in front of me, and Alisha shivered slightly. The temperature had dropped significantly and all that could be heard was deep breathing and the sound of Alisha’s teeth chattering. She needed to get inside before she froze to death.
“You better get inside. You’re freezing,” I said, glueing my hands to my sides. I was almost tempted to place them on her shoulders and then wrap them around her back to warm her up.
“Would you like to come in?” Alisha offered and fuck yes, I really wanted to. But I needed some self-control. I’d be seeing her tomorrow and I needed to get home and get rid of this raging hard-on I’d had all evening.
“Thanks for the offer. But I’m quite tired. So I’ll be going home.” I looked down at the ground, not wanting to meet her stare. I heard her take another step closer and unexpectedly, her arms had woven around my body, pulling me into a hug. Instinctively, my own wrapped around her body and I relished the way she felt pressed up against me.
“Something told me that you needed a hug. I hope that was the right thing to do,” Alisha whispered.
Yes, it was. And I knew that I would need many more from her.
“Yes,” I whispered back. The hug ended sooner than I would have liked, but it needed to before I took her up on her offer of going inside the house and doing what I wanted to do to her all evening.
“Goodnight.” Alisha smiled, taking a step back.
“Goodnight,” I replied, edging closer back to my car. I watched her retreat and waved at her as she walked through the front door into the warmth. I couldn’t help but smile. During the drive home, I kept on smiling. And I didn’t hate it.