35. Will
Chapter thirty-five
Will
Everyone takes Mia’s news well. Well, Matt is doing a good job pretending he's annoyed about it—he shoots glares at me for the rest of the evening—but at least that's directed at me, not at Mia. I can't help but wonder whether there's an undertone of actual annoyance in his playing.
And Chloe is venomous. She’s pretty blunt on a good day, but she was outright rude to Mia. Maybe I should talk to her later, see if everything’s okay?
Steph, though, Steph has been great, and I’m trying my best to ignore Chloe and Matt, and focus on being positive for Mia right now.
I’m really fucking proud of her. I know she has been stressing about this, basically from day one, but especially since our run-in with Sam. She must be feeling great to have it off her chest.
Part of me wonders whether now this is out in the open, she’ll have more bandwidth to think about something between us again. I’ve been waiting for a moment to pull her away and talk to her, like Matt and I talked about the other day, but so far, nothing organic has materialized.
The girls insist on finishing what they are now referring to as ‘ The Christmas Swap Cinematic Universe’, but by late afternoon, it’s fair to say, we are well and truly movie’d out.
We’re lounging around drinking beers, wines and in Chloe’s case, an extremely fancy-looking cocktail she has managed to procure from somewhere in the bowels of the kitchen.
“Let’s play ‘never have I ever,” Chloe suggests, still lounging on her side like a Roman emperor, one elbow bent, propping up her head, and the other holding her drink. Mia looks so relieved that Chloe is talking again, she can’t wipe the grin off her face.
“Chloe, have you forgotten we’ve known each other for what, ten or twelve years and know everything there is to know about each other?” Matt asks, a bemused smile on his face.
“Surely we can’t know everything about each other,” Chloe says, nodding pointedly towards Mia. Ah, there’s the classic Chloe bluntness. “Besides, maybe one of us has done something exciting since the last time we played.”
“I’m game,” Mia says, flipping her hair over her shoulder and picking up her beer. It’s a surprise move from Mia to be this bold, for sure, but fuck, if she’s game, the rest of us will be all in.
Chloe rolls over onto her stomach, never letting go of her drink. “Never have I ever donated blood.”
Everyone other than Chloe drinks.
“You’ve never donated blood? What the fuck, Clo?” Steph turns her full body to look at Chloe. “I swear you’ve told me you had!”
Chloe shakes her head. “No, I said I’d been to donate blood. But you know how they do that finger prick? Yeah, I fainted, and they wouldn’t let me do it.”
We laugh. The idea of Chloe, the boldest, most brash of all of us, fainting at a finger prick is not what any of us expected.
“I’d never lie to you, Steph, not like some people here.”
“Chloe,” I warn. “That’s out of line.” At least she has the decency to look ashamed.
“My turn,” Matt says, raising his glass to change the subject. “Never have I ever missed three gym sessions in a row.” He stares me down. I drink. Chloe drinks. Steph drinks.
Mia shrugs. “I’ve never had three gym sessions to miss. You guys all go to the gym together?”
“God no,” Steph says, screwing her nose up. “I love you, but the gym is when I look like a beast.”
Chloe laughs, raising her glass. “I get you. Never understood those people who can find a hookup at the gym.”
“I do it all the time. Any time Will stands me up, so like, every week.” Matt grumbles.
“Hey! You can’t complain about that. You’re welcome, buddy. Knew there was a reason I flaked on you.” I clap him on the shoulder.
“Never have I ever still been hung on up someone I hooked up with at uni.” Chloe’s voice pierces my brain. Time slows. Is this the clear moment, the moment I can use to show Mia my intentions? Her eyes snap to me. I lift my bottle, and never taking my eyes off her, I drink. Will she lift her bottle too?
“I fucking knew it!” Chloe gets dangerously close to sloshing her drink as she sits up to confront Steph. “I knew it, you’re still not over him.”
“Woah, Chloe, Jesus. Don’t yell.” Steph holds her two hands out in front of her as if trying to physically slow Chloe down. “Didn’t we know I was still hung up on Justin?”
“Did we? Does Scott know that?” Chloe has a massive grin on her face. Scott, the guy Steph is currently dating does not know about Justin, her university fling.
“What a way to shit-stir, Chloe,” Matt says. “Did you suggest that game just so you could do that?” Mia is still staring at me. She clearly noticed me drink, and it doesn’t seem like anyone else did. Or maybe they saw it, but it’s just common knowledge to everyone other than Mia that I’m hung up on her.
“Okay, you have to tell the story now,” Chloe demands, bouncing her knee.
Steph looks down at her glass of wine and takes a fortifying breath before launching into her story. I’m too focused on the beer bottle in Mia’s hand to pay full attention.
She hasn’t taken her eyes off me since I drank.
She slowly, but very, very intentionally raises her bottle to her lips and drinks.
We go to bed early, it’s been a very long day. I've just showered and am drying off when my phone buzzes.
Mia
Want to come up?
I put my phone down on the bed, screen still lit and stare at it while I scrub the towel through my hair. What does she mean? I know she saw me drink earlier. She drank too. She can’t possibly be unclear about the signals we were giving. So is this it? Is this the moment I’ve been waiting for, where I get to make my intentions crystal clear?
I reach up to feel my hair with my other hand. It’s almost dry now, I have spent so long toweling it.
Mia
Sorry, you must be asleep. Let’s chat tomorrow. xx
I’m coming
Fuck.
I pull on sweatpants and a gray t-shirt, then pad out the room, closing the door behind me as quietly as I can. The last thing I want is to be busted by Chloe while I’m sneaking around.
I creep up the stairs as quietly as I can. I don’t know whether any of these stairs creak, so I try to step lightly at first before putting my full weight down.
Almost a full two minutes later, I open the last door upstairs and ease it shut behind me.
“Hi,” I whisper. Mia is propped up by pillows, a book in her hand. She’s lit from the side by a lamp next to the bed. I wonder whether this was how she felt that night she came into my hotel room in France.
“Hi.” She smiles over at me. Spooking her right now could break the spell, so I hover by the door.
She pats the bed next to her and puts her book down on the bedside table before shuffling over, giving me space to sit. I slip onto the bed next to her, propping my head up on my hand.
I take a deep breath. “The person I’ve been pining over is you, Mia.”
Her lower lip is pinned between her teeth.
“You’re my person too.” She reaches her hand out toward me, an olive branch.
“I know.” I snake my free hand toward her, and grab her hand. “I’ve always known. But I don’t want to just pine over you forever, Limpet.”
She freezes, considering what I said, then after a few seconds, relaxes again. “I know. I don’t want to wait forever either.” She rests her forehead on mine. The scent of mint and expensive face cream wafts over me. “It’s just…everything is happening so fast right now. I need a second to catch my breath.”
I pull back and kiss her forehead. “I know. There’s a lot going on.” She’s snaked her arm up from between the covers, grasping my T-shirt. I kiss her forehead. I could do this over and over. There’s nothing else I’d like to do more right now than just grab her. But if I move too fast, or try to ask her to make a decision about our future together too quickly, I might scare her off. Mia’s a slow burn, I know that. Hell, I’ve been suffering from that slow burn for ten years.
“I want you, Mia. I want every single part of you. And not just today, every day. I’ve wanted you from the moment I met you.” I don’t miss her sharp breath in, or her fists clenching tighter around my shirt. “But this needs to be your choice. As much as it kills me to not strip you right here…I need to know whether you’re all in.” She snuggles closer to me, wrapping her arm around my waist, living up to her Limpet nickname.
She drops her head into my chest, her voice muffled. “I think I just need some more time for things to settle. I want this. I want you. I’m just scared.” She kisses me. There’s no denying that this kiss she initiated. I deepen the kiss, sliding my hand around her face then behind her neck, pulling her close to me. That’s the first time she’d said it. ‘ I want you’. Her hands snake around my torso, finding their way under my t-shirt, sliding it up to expose the skin on my back.
Finally, out of breath, legs tangled together, stupid smiles on our faces, we come up for air. A few minutes of quiet later, then Mia mumbles, “I wish you could sleep here.”
She buries her face in my neck, kissing, running her teeth over my skin. God that feels fantastic. But I know she means ‘I wish you could sleep here, and the others wouldn’t know’.
I pull her close, peppering her neck with light kisses. I’m not about to ruin this by being too forward or pushing my luck while she’s riding the high of telling everyone about the resorts. It’s done. I’ve made my move. The next big move has to be hers. “Listen to me.” I tilt her chin toward me, almost getting sucked into those enormous eyes. “You need time, right?” Her beautiful lips beckon me as she nods. “Then take the time you need. Talk to me, if you need more from me, if you need less, let me know. But I’m going to wait for your move, you understand? I need to know you’re all in, Mia.”
She puts her arm around me, pulling me toward her, pressing her body against mine. She kisses me gently at first, then with more ferocity.
“Okay. I’ll tell you when I’m ready.” This time, it’s her hands snaking around the back of my neck, pulling me against her.
I pull back again. “You’re killing me here. I’ve got to go back before we go too far tonight. Because fuck, I want you so bad, Mia.” I smooth down my t-shirt, and give her another quick kiss. “Oh, before I go. Do you want me to have a chat with Chloe? Things were tense earlier.”
She shakes her head. “No. It needs to be me. But thank you.” The smile she offers me burns me from the inside out.
I hover at the door for a few seconds, drinking her in. “See you in the morning.” I close the door quietly behind me. I pause in the hallway before I make my way downstairs. She wants me.