Chapter 35 #3
Elizabeth delayed somewhat and wrote more to her sisters about their plans for the autumn to avoid beginning the letter to her mother.
Realising this, she ended the letter to her sisters.
She then picked up a new sheet of paper and stared at it.
After several moments of this, her husband’s voice startled her.
“Are you well, dearest?” he asked softly.
“I fear I am unsure how to begin writing to Mama. Kitty and Lydia will be surprised at how long a letter I have written them and how I have gone on and on about their plans for the autumn,” Elizabeth laughed at herself.
“I must apologise to her for the scoldings that Kitty and Lydia have delivered on my behalf and assure her that I have asked them to stop; after that, well, I am just uncertain what to address and what to ignore.”
“I have struggled not to let resentment eat at me over the situation with my parents. However, knowing that their resentment of each other has made them who they are. I do not want to be like my parents, and I choose to embrace our responsibility towards our children and Pemberley. We are not responsible for them, although we have forced them to make better decisions that, with luck, will force them to take responsibility for themselves as they move forward.”
“And they will be better for it,” Darcy said, looking up from where he rested his head and pulling her into his lap to cuddle her close.
He held her to him for several minutes before he spoke again.
“Your sisters have benefited as well; separating them and schooling Lydia will allow them a better chance for happiness in the future. They will both attend events with Georgiana this coming spring, and I would not have been willing to do that had they not improved greatly from how they were when we first married.”
Elizabeth’s laughter bubbled out of her.
“They have, have they not. They were awful when we first married, and although Kitty showed a glimmer of potential, I had little hope for Lydia. I was pleasantly surprised by how well Lydia has done since attending school. For a moment, I had believed that she was beyond the point of redemption, but she has done very well. Getting her away from the influence of Mama helped considerably.”
“Your sisters have done well in the last two years and have improved themselves considerably. Jane is well settled, although I do not think she will ever change—she has always viewed things through the most positive lens. Mary is doing well as a vicar’s wife, and Kitty and Lydia will make good matches, but if they choose to remain unmarried, they will have a means of support.
The money your father has paid to us has been invested with your uncle, and that fund is doing well.
I will add to it as necessary to ensure they have whatever they require,” Darcy replied.
Tears poured down Elizabeth’s face as she hugged her husband. “Once again, you prove you are the ever-responsible Master of Pemberley who I have come to adore. Thank you, my love, for all you do for me.”
After several more minutes of contemplation, she began to write:
Mama,
I apologise that my sisters have taken it upon themselves to upbraid you on my behalf.
I am certain they have misunderstood matters they overheard, as I have never spoken with them of how matters lie between us.
I have included a letter to the two of them in this same packet, making it clear they should scold you no further.
It is good that you have found much to occupy you in visiting Longbourn’s tenants and working on their behalf.
As you will recall, that was something I had done for many years before I married, and I am pleased that the tenants have someone to care for them and to ensure they have all they need.
And I enjoy the stories you share about the children—they were my favourite part of visiting the tenants and continue to be so.
Pemberley has several tenants, and I enjoy visiting with the children nearly as much as I do their parents.
Now that Mary is here, she aids me in this, although she has other concerns as well, and of course, so does my sister Georgiana, although I suspect she may not be with us much longer.
She had a very successful season, and I expect her to make a match before too many more.
Kitty and Lydia will accompany her into society next year, and I hope that all three will find a man they will love and who will love them just as much.
Mama, I hope you know that I bear you no ill will.
Anything that has happened in the past will remain there, and I do not intend to bring it up again or allow others to do so.
I am content to see you and my father on those occasions we are in the same location; however, some hurts go too deep to merely be set aside.
It should not trouble you that we will not visit Longbourn since we have not done so for nearly two years.
I will not go out of my way to see you, nor will I go out to avoid you.
There just is too much between us, and while I can forgive you, that does not mean the relationship we had can be restored.
I would not want that relationship to be restored, as it was too often hateful and argumentative.
If there had ever been a relationship, there would be something to fix now, but that is not the case.
I wish you all the best, Mama, and will continue to respond to your letters, should you want to send them. We can maintain the same impersonal relationship we have now, with you sharing your news and my responding with the same.
I will only add, God bless you, madam,
Your Daughter,
Elizabeth Darcy