33. Jay
Jay
Iopen my eyes and find to my absolute horror that I’m lying curled up on an alpha with my face practically in his armpit and with my tongue out to boot.
Is that a…my eyes widen, and I yank myself off King’s knot.
I gag and wrench backwards, feeling like I need to scream and shower with boiling water.
“Oh, hell no!” I howl.
I roll out of bed and look down at myself, grimacing in distaste. What fresh hell is this bullshit?
“There is cum dripping out of my fucking cunt, Merle! What the fuck is wrong with you?”
I grab the nearest cloth, which happens to be his T-shirt and mop the crap out of me.
“Ew. Just ew!”
King has pulled his clothes on, but I still get a look at the tip of his red cock. I groan in disgust again, shaking my head while I let out an involuntary full body shudder.
“This is just not right!” I snarl and yank up items of clothes, trying to find something that doesn’t smell like I rolled in a vat of jizz.
I stalk out of the room, completely and utterly naked, ignoring King, who growls and follows me. It takes me a hot minute, but I find Blaze and sniff him.
“You, give me one of your dresses. You smell clean and jizz free.”
Blaze’s eyebrow goes right on up. Full of judgement, mildly amused. His eyes dip down, checking me out. I glower at him and click my fingers at face level.
“If you want to keep that worm between your legs, get your eyes off my person.”
He bites his cheek and cocks his head to the side.
“Now!” I click my fingers. “Dress! Hurry!”
He disappears into a room and comes out with a purple and blue silk robe that he wraps around me, tying in until I’m clothed from chin to toes.
I let out another irritated sound and point towards the lounge room.
“We are having a chat. Move your ass to the lounge room-”
“Listen, you little pocket-sized tyrant-”
I grab Blaze by the throat. “If you want to wake up with my knife shoved up your ass while you’re sleeping tonight, by all means try to delay this conversation a moment longer. I am done with this…this crap,” I snarl out loud, and his eyes flicker with a bit of hesitation. As he fucking should.
I turn and stalk off, banging on Rolly’s bedroom and stalking off when he comes out and glowers.
Roseland is waiting with his arms crossed when he sees me.
“Jay.”
“Get your fucking ass in that lounge, Aaron. We’re setting ground rules again.”
He bites his lip, laughing, but then he didn’t wake up with a knot in him. So, you know, he can fucking laugh.
My temper sets the whole house on edge, and I can almost feel Merle hiding, but I’m sure the girls are laughing at me. They would get a kick out of this.
“SAGE!” I shout.
I wait while they all come to me and sit on the couch, staring in various levels of disdain and haughty arrogance. These assholes are going to learn to play with all of us or suffer the unbearable consequences of my rage.
“My name is Jay. We didn’t really talk last time, but we’re sure as fuck going to do it now!” I sniff and almost gag when I smell that potent, just knotted omega scent.
“Hi, Jay!” Rolly says, waving and bouncing.
I narrow my eyes on him. “You just lost points.”
“Oh.”
I pace in front of them, trying to find the words without exploding, but in the end, I have no idea what to say. So, I just blast them.
“Do you have any idea how foul it is to wake up mouthing a fucking armpit?” I shout at them? “Or worse, having a knot in you?”
The five of them stare at me, their expressions morphing from flaming embarrassment to amusement.
“I am a male alter living in a female body. This means things are different for me. I like to pretend I can’t feel the femaleness of this body, but further, I am asexual. I don’t want your cocks, I don’t want your kisses. When I am present, there will be no sex. Ever!” I snarl.
They stare, and I can feel them pulling away.
“How is that going to work? It’s not like we control when you come out.”
“No, and that’s why we are setting ground rules,” I snap. “They will not do that to me anymore, but there will be times when I want to come out, and I don’t want to be manhandled or kissed or touched.”
“What do you want out of life?” Roseland asks calmly. “You set the rules, Jay, we will follow them.”
I stare at Roseland and answer before I can think it through. “Family. I want a family and a safe place to do things I like doing. No sex.”
“Okay, so you are, like, the alpha version?” Rolly asks as he slumps down, crossing his arms over his chest.
I stare at them. “What?”
“You smell like a male alpha,” Roseland says. “It’s faint, but it’s there. You do not smell like an omega at all.”
I blink, confused. “Is that possible?”
“You’re asking us?” Rolly says and looks around. “I think you get to just make it up however it feels right.”
“Do any of the other alters smell different?” I ask curiously.
Roseland nods again. “Raven is a beta.”
I blink hard. “Beg pardon?”
“Raven has the scent of a beta. She has no omega scent or alpha scent.”
We’re all looking at Roseland.
“She spoke to me briefly at the Sanderson’s, I caught her scent there.”
I shake my head, trying to shove it all off. He’s lying, but it makes sense. Raven is the only one of us who can truly disappear.
“While we are talking ground rules, we need to talk about Dove,” I say suddenly, breaking into the silence.
Again, Roseland’s face closes off, and I get the impression he knows more than he’s saying.
The rest of the alphas sit to attention, listening intently.
“Dove is very innocent. She is about eight years old. Treat her as you would one of your children or a sibling. Be gentle with her. Don’t do scary shit.
And don’t worry, no one is going to let her out while you are doing that crap,” I snarl.
“She needs specific triggers or an invitation to come out.”
I pause, glaring at them all.
“Keep her safe. If you feel anything for any of us, you keep Dove safe above all else.”
“And Raptor? When will we meet her properly?”
I smile, but it’s not a friendly smile. “When she wants to meet you, and not a moment beforehand.”
Blaze glares at me. I glare back, not at all cowed by the alpha.
“Interesting and fun,” Rolly purrs and bounces up. “So, Jay?”
I narrow my eyes, wondering if he’s going to say something that is going to piss me off.
“Do you like video games?”
The tenseness goes out of my shoulders, and I completely relax. There were times in the city where I would end up in an arcade, drawn there because of the lights and sounds, but with the money I’d sometimes steal, I’d play for hours. Safe and warm where I could forget. “I do.”
Rolly bounces his way to a wall and presses a button, revealing the massive TV they keep hidden there.
“Let’s play.”
I glance at the others, waiting to see if anyone is going to argue.
“Dinner’s ready, so I’ll go bring it in. We’re having chicken burgers. If only a certain alpha and omega hadn’t spent the whole day and night in bed.”
I press a hand to my stomach, feeling sick again. “Shh, I can’t think about that right now. By the way, does anyone have any mouthwash? I can still taste King’s sweat.”
“Yay!” Rolly says happily. “My fav. The burgers, not the sweat. Although King’s sweat is tasty.”
I think my skin just turned green.
Sage snorts but looks at him with a fondness that has my chest clenching. I don’t want the sex and stuff. They can keep the kissing, but I want that intimate trust, that affection.
King bumps into me, and I stagger, whipping around and glaring at him.
“Sorry,” he mutters with a red face. “About before. That was not how I wanted us to meet again.”
His humiliation is almost endearing.
“I may have overreacted a little,” I concede, “but it was shocking. It’s something I expect from the others, but Merle has normally been fairly considerate.”
“Did I do something wrong? Is that why she left?”
How can such a huge and violent alpha be this unsure?
“She left because she decided you needed to get to know us all, since she wanted to keep you. It's just…she has terrible timing, and I was the one who came up.”
“Oh.” His smile is gorgeous. “Merle wants to stay?”
“She enjoyed it. She was happy. Disgustingly happy,” I mutter and feel my face flaming.
He grins wider, his chest inflating.
“Can we stop talking about this now, because I won’t be able to eat if we keep going?”
King nods too quickly and goes and sits on the couch. Rolly grabs my arm and pulls me next to him.
“Get ready to die.”
“Die?”
“Oh, yes. I’m going to destroy you,” Rolly growls, so preoccupied with the game that he hasn’t even noticed that I’m smiling at him.
Sage brings in the food. Blaze sticks around, but it’s Roseland’s silent observations that drive me insane.
I feel like he’s waiting for something, but I don’t know what that something is. I don’t know if it has to do with me or one of the others.
Eventually, he gets up, murmurs his excuses and slips from the room, leaving us alone.
Sage gets up and follows him, which is cute. Information bubbles up from Kestrel, and my mind boggles.
“Sage and Roseland are stepbrothers?” I say out loud.
Rolly was so intent on the game that my sudden shout has him halfway across the room before he registers what I’ve actually said.
He scratches his head, looking at King and Blaze. “Uh, yes. Why?”
“I just…I didn’t, I don’t have a lot of information the others have, and it was passed to me, and I was surprised. I thought they were lovers.”
“They are.”
I blink at Blaze. “Okay, you’re going to have to tell me the story.”
Blaze chuckles. “Which one?”
I look around at them. “I want to hear all of them, but first. Where is the omega?”
Blaze frowns, looking at his hands. “Ah, yes. There is that. Pix is somewhere no one can reach him.”
For a while, I forget about everything; I smile and laugh and listen to them tell outrageous stories. We play games with the sound loud enough to make the couch vibrate. The food is amazing. I’m honestly having the best time.
But then, as usual, the creeping horror returns, and the agony of still being here tears me apart. I stand up as the past wraps itself around me.
“Jay?”
I look up, through tears I didn’t know I had, and find Blaze. He puts a hand on my shoulder. I shudder.
The scream starts in the past and rises through me, my chest, my soul, my heart.
His eyes soften. “Go. We’ll take care of them.”
I let out a breath, give him one second of grateful relief, and then I throw myself backwards, taking my pain, taking my memory, taking my secret. The one that consumes me.
The one that ruins me.
The one that gave me life.
Taking it back into the dark where no one but I can reach.