Chapter 30
30
AMITY
T here was nothing sexy about our shower. It was just about washing away yesterday’s mess and checking in with each other, tactile proof that we both survived. I felt lost without my hands on him, and judging by the look of regret he gave me when he left me at the table with Legs and Lil, I’m pretty sure he felt the same way.
“You sure you’re okay?” Legs asks as she places a cup of coffee down in front of me.
“Yeah, I’m okay. I wasn’t even really hurt. Not like G.”
“You were shot at,” Legs hisses. “Don’t downplay that. If you bottle it up, it will eat you alive.”
“I’ve been hurt far worse, but I get it. And I promise that if I get all in my head, I’ll talk to someone.”
“We all think we’re okay until we’re not,” Lil says softly. I don’t really know Lil. I’ve seen her around, and she always gives me a shy smile, but I haven’t talked to her like I have Legs.
“Then something will set you off, and you won’t even know why, and—” She blows out a frustrated breath before taking a sip of her coffee. I notice the faint tremor of her hand, but I don’t say anything.
Legs reaches over and squeezes her free hand, offering her support without saying a word.
“I’ll talk to someone. I promise. I won’t try to deal with it alone.”
She nods. “Good, that’s good.”
I look between her and Legs and decide to change the subject. “You know, you guys are ruining every stereotype I had about club girls.”
Legs grins, and Lil bursts out laughing.
“Trust me, it never used to be this way. Once upon a time, we lived up to every stereotype. We clashed with old ladies and everything. There was definitely a divide between us and them. But something happened, and we realized we aren’t so different.”
“I think it made the club stronger,” Legs adds.
Lil looks at her thoughtfully. “You might be right. There’s a lot less drama now.”
“Plus, it’s nice having a friend to turn to—someone you know will always have your back.” Legs smiles at Lil.
“You mentioned old ladies? Are they still around? I don’t remember meeting any, well, except Sunshine.”
“No. Not anymore. I won’t go into too much detail, but we had some bad brothers who tried to tear the club apart. They failed, obviously, but that still left us with scars. I don’t know the specifics behind them leaving, but I don’t blame them for going. Not after everything that happened. They left to be safe, and I stayed for the same reason,” she says, her eyes going distant like she’s lost in a memory before she snaps out of it and looks at me. “But being here now is the happiest I’ve ever been.”
Looking at Lil, I study her face and find no lie. She means what she says, and even though I don’t understand how she finds happiness in how she lives her life, it sure as shit isn’t for me to judge. I’ve never walked in her shoes, so I’ll never tell her which path she should’ve taken. That reminds me too much of Nevaeh’s father and his attitude toward people.
“I’m glad. I won’t lie, the first time I came here, I never wanted to come back. I thought everyone here was insane and wanted no part of it.”
“Why did you come back then?” Lil asks. There’s no anger in her voice, only curiosity.
“Because it was important to G. And then the more I came back, the more I started to understand what it is about this place he loves.”
“And what’s that?”
“The people. You’re his family. It feels like coming home every time he walks through those doors, and it’s not just because he sleeps here.”
“I get what you mean. It’s why it’s taken me so long to get up the courage to leave.”
Lil huffs, and Legs tenses. But Lil doesn’t say anything. She takes another sip of her coffee and tries to appear unaffected.
“I’m not leaving you, Lil. Or any of the guys. Not really. Family isn’t a place; it’s the people, just like Amity said. And even though I won’t be living here, I’ll visit as often as I can.”
“It won’t be the same,” Lil mutters. “Though it will be nice to have a place to stay when I need a break from all the testosterone around here.”
“Exactly. Silver lining, right? And I know this is weird, but I never got to do the whole sleepover thing when I was a kid. So I want to do that now, but with wine and a charcuterie board. Because I’m an adult and classy as fuck.”
We all burst into laughter, which I didn’t think would happen after last night.
“You’ll both come, right? And bring Nevaeh?”
“She’d love it,” I tell her. And she would.
“What about the other club girls?”
“Kiki and Stacey are only interested in the guys and each other. Tina, Rose, and Glory kind of keep to themselves. We get along, but I don’t think any of them would be comfortable leaving the guys for a night.”
“Are they that worried about their safety?”
“I don’t think it’s that. None of us come from very happy homes. And now, here, they’re being treated like they matter, even if it’s because of their bodies. I think part of them thinks that if they leave, they’ll be replaced, and the family they thought they had will turn out to be an illusion,” Legs says softly.
“Please tell me you don’t think that way!” Lil snaps at her.
“It’s what I know, Lil. I love the guys and gals here. And like I said, I’ll visit and expect you all to visit me. But I know things will never be the same once I leave. Out of sight, out of mind, and all that. I’ve been replaced so many times,” she whispers.
“Not by me. I know I don’t give you screaming orgasms every night—not that I couldn’t if I swung that way—but you’re my sister from another mister. There’s no replacing you,” Lil tells her firmly.
I pick up my coffee and use the mug to cover my grin. “I have some new friends coming to check out the set this week. Nevaeh was supposed to be there to keep them company while I work, but she got called away. So, I was wondering if you guys would want to come and help me out?”
“What new friends?” Legs questions me.
“The ones I made, obviously. What can I say? I’m awesome.”
“Hmm… Yeah, that must be it. Nothing to do with the possibility of meeting a celebrity.”
“Trust me, when you meet them, you’ll realize they’re nothing special. They eat, shit, and fuck up just like the rest of us.”
Lil gasps and clutches her chest. “Don’t ruin the magic for me.” Legs shakes her head at her friend’s antics.
“Who are your new friends? Anyone we know?”
“I don’t know, maybe. I met them at a diner with G. They do belong to another club, but I can’t remember the name. But their names are Mercy and Jinx.”
Legs’s face lights up. “I know Mercy. She’s with the new chapter of the Chaos Demons. It’s the club I was with before coming here. I haven’t met Jinx, though—she joined after I left—but I’ve heard she’s a total badass. She lost both her legs in an accident when she was a teenager, and she saved Mercy’s life. And she’s a freakin’ bounty hunter. Or, well, she was before joining Chaos. Now she’s the first female member.”
“Do I detect a lady boner for Jinx?” Lil teases.
Legs rolls her eyes. “I’ve never been picky about who I spend time with, male or female. But I’ve always been drawn to strong alpha types, and she is all that and more.”
“Not picky as long as it’s Midas,” Lil mutters earning a glare from Legs.
“I take it that means you’ll come?” I jump in.
“Hell yeah.”
“Lil?”
“Are you sure? I mean, I know here we’re cool. But out there, if people knew what we do, they might look down on you for hanging with us.”
“Then they’re not people I want to know.”
Her smile brightens, lighting up her whole face, and oh my God, she’s pretty. There’s usually a hardness to Lil, a shadow that dims her light. It made me think she was older, but now I wonder if it’s not her age, but perhaps the past she’s illuded to that drains her. I might not know her story, but I can sense its dark. Surviving that kind of thing is hard, building a life after being reduced to nothing more than a victim is exhausting.
“Then fuck yes. I can’t wait,” Legs shouts making me chuckle.
“Wait for what?”
I jump at the sound of G’s voice, and we all turn as he moves up next to me.
“The girls are gonna come to the movie set when Mercy and Jinx head down.”
“Sounds like fun. I’ll be sure to bring an extra brother with me that day to keep you all out of trouble.”
“Rude.” Legs sticks her tongue out at him.
He grins, his eyes moving to me. “Can I steal you for a while?”
“Of course. Everything okay?”
“Blade wants you to come to church and tell everyone what you remember.”
I sigh. I finally stopped thinking about it for a few minutes, and now I’ve gotta tell it all over again.
“Sorry, I know you don’t want to keep reliving it.”
“It’s fine. If it helps figure out what the heck’s going on, I’ll tell it a million more times.” I stand up and face the girls. “I’ll catch you both later?”
“Absolutely. I’m glad you’re both okay,” Lil adds, and G smiles at her.
“Me too, Lil, me too.”
I stare at the silent men as I finish telling them what happened for what feels like the millionth time.
“Neither of you actually saw them hit you?” Inigo asks.
“I’ll admit, I wasn’t paying attention. My head was on other things. I briefly saw something out the corner of my eye, but it hit us before I could process anything. To me at least, it looked like the truck came out of nowhere,” G tells him.
“I’m just playing devil’s advocate here. I wanted to figure out if this was a freak accident, and when they realized who they hit, they tried to clean it up by taking you both out. Or if they targeted you for a reason.”
“That’s what we’ve all been asking ourselves.” Midas sighs.
“We can call Khan, but we all know he won’t admit to anything. He’ll just play dumb to save his neck.” Hannibal shrugs. Clearly, he’s not a fan of this Khan guy.
Havoc grunts but doesn’t disagree.
“They didn’t come out of nowhere,” I say softly as I go over it all in my head without the panic consuming me. “I saw them as we reached the intersection. They were parked on the side of the road. I only noticed because the sun hit the paint making it look purple, which struck me as odd for some reason. There was no way they didn’t see us.”
“And they hit us fucking hard,” G adds. “That just proves it was no accident.”
Havoc slides his cell phone across the table to me. On the screen is a photo of a man I don’t recognize. “Scroll through and tell me if you recognize anyone.”
I nod and start flicking through the pictures, pausing when I think I recognize the one I shot in the stomach. I turn the phone so the others can see it. “This is the guy I shot in the stomach, isn’t it? Acid, I think I heard someone say.”
Havoc nods. Blade sits there quietly, taking everything in. He hasn’t said much since I walked in.
“He’s from my old chapter.” He holds my stare like he’s waiting for me to say something. But what does he want me to say? Sorry?
“I’m not sorry I shot him,” I tell him, making him frown.
“Good. You shouldn’t be sorry. Hell, if anyone should be sorry, it’s me.”
“Why?”
“Because they’re obviously stirring up trouble now that I’m here. If I would’ve?—”
I hold my hand up to shut him up as G leans in and kisses the side of my head. “Don’t be an idiot, Havoc. You didn’t do anything wrong. And if that’s how that chapter’s run, well, then fuck them.”
They all look at me, but I ignore them. “Maybe they’re trying to point the finger at you to make you look bad so you don’t get voted in as president. Wait, do you get voted in, or does Blade just say, ‘Tag, you’re it?’”
Havoc’s lips twitch as the guys in the room laugh.
Blade finally speaks up. “Havoc’s not going anywhere. And if they try to point their fingers at him for this, I’ll break every damn one of them myself.” He rubs his hand over his face, looking exhausted.
I look back down at the phone and keep scrolling through Havoc’s pictures until I find him. I turn it around and hand it to Havoc. “This is the guy.”
“Knuckles. I can’t say I’m surprised. Where Acid goes, Knuckles usually isn’t far behind.”
Everyone’s quiet for a moment, feeling the blow of brothers turning on brothers. If what I’ve pieced together is true, then this isn’t the first time something like this has happened. I stay silent, knowing nothing I say will make them feel any less betrayed.
Blade runs his fingers through his hair and sighs. “I think the longer we wait for Havoc to take my spot, the more shit they’ll start.” He looks around at all the brothers and swallows. I grip the table, feeling the sadness and resignation pouring from him.
“I know I planned on giving Havoc time to adjust, but I can’t help but feel like that’s a mistake. When you become president, you’ll have all the power. You can shake up the members there or even disband that chapter altogether. You know them better than me, and after the shit they’ve pulled, you’re the one who deserves to dole out their punishments.”
Blade looks at me. “Besides that, a little birdy might have told me how well you all worked as a team yesterday when you couldn’t get hold of me. And how Havoc stepped up like he’d always been here. She said you boys did me proud. She’s right.”
He stands up and presses his hand to his heart. “It has been an honor to be your president.” He rips the president patch from his cut and slides it over to Havoc. “But there’s a new sheriff in town.”
Absolute silence blankets the room. I swear everyone’s holding their breath as Havoc stands up and walks over to Blade. When he pulls Blade in for a hug, I struggle to hold back my tears.
“I have some mighty big shoes to fill.”
Fists start banging on the table, and feet start stomping on the floor until it sounds like thunder roaring through the room. I don’t know if it’s for Blade or for Havoc—hell, maybe it’s for both—but as I lean against a visibly choked-up G, I know I’m witnessing something monumental.
It’s the end of an era.
And the beginning of a new one.