11. Anna
ANNA
PRESENT
For years, I’d thought Archer had abandoned me just like my mother and father had. I thought he had simply changed his mind and just filed for divorce without a care in the world as to how it would make me feel.
But all this time, he had done it because he cared. He hadn’t changed his mind, but rather done it to save my life.
I grappled with these thoughts constantly over the past twelve hours since Archer had told me.
He’d filled me in on what his former captain had told him—at the time of our random nuptials, we weren’t alone.
One of Joey Pagano’s men had been ordered to follow Archer and Manny after the trial ended.
That man saw Archer drunkenly take me to the chapel and get married, effectively putting a target on both our heads.
He also told me more details about Manny’s death and how he felt the only way to protect me was to stay away from me completely, thereby keeping me off the Paganos ’ radar.
My emotions were all over the place. I was torn.
On one hand, I was pissed that he hadn’t given me this information so that we could have made an informed decision together.
On the other hand, I was flattered and saddened that he would do that for me.
But as soon as I would start to feel sympathy for him, I would get angry again and want to yell at him for leaving me like my birth parents had.
People who grew up in normal families didn’t understand it.
When you grew up in foster care or were adopted, you always had questions in the back of your mind about why your family didn’t want you.
I was nearly twenty-eight years old, and on occasion, I still thought about where my birth mother was, what she was doing.
Even though I ended up in a loving foster home, which turned into a great adoptive family, much of my childhood was spent questioning what I could have done differently to make her keep me.
After that, every time I lost a friend, a significant other, or even a job, those questions started to come back again because the loss hit me deeper.
This was because I honestly didn’t have any memories of my biological mother and father since I was so young when they left.
But as an adult, you formed solid friendships and bonds with people, and those memories were fresher.
I wanted to tell Archer , imagine you spent your whole childhood thinking that your mother never wanted you and gave you up for adoption…
only to find out years later that your mom actually died in childbirth or a car accident, and that she loved you very much.
That was what I felt like right now. My beliefs about what I thought Archer had done were completely wrong.
The emotions I’d gone through after believing something for so long, only to find out I’d been wrong, had created a rollercoaster in my brain.
That had been me for the past twelve hours.
I had already gone through all the stages of grief with Archer .
Sadness and depression from him just walking away from our marriage, to relief that I wouldn’t have stayed married to someone who didn’t love me and waste years of my life, and then anger and rage for him just giving up.
I’d also gone through the questioning phase—the part where you question everything you’ve ever done because what if it was my fault.
I’d tossed and turned all night last night. I thought about what he’d said. “ I loved you , so I divorced you to save your life." Now I had to spend the day with him—and his friends, no less—after he’d dropped that bomb last night.
“Everyone is getting together for one last hurrah before Jack and Ruthie’s wedding in two days,” Archer said.
“Okay, you can just drop me off at your house,” I told him, not really wanting to spend time around people today since my emotions were all over the place. “ I don’t need to go to the bar with everyone.”
“Oh no, you’re coming too,” Archer argued. “ First , so you are not alone with the threat update we just got. Plus , since you’re going to the wedding with me, you might as well get to know some of these people ahead of time.”
He was right, but that still didn’t mean I wanted to do it.
I was technically working today, but Archer said he felt his building was more secure than the TV station, so I’d offered to bring my computer with me and work from his office. I wasn’t anchoring any shows today, just getting caught up on some stories I needed to edit for next month.
November was a very important month in local television. We ran lots of special-feature pieces this time of year, and I had three I was working on.
As I turned the corner from the kitchen, Percy came running up to me with his leash in his mouth. “ Perfect timing, buddy,” I said with a laugh.
I gave him a nice long walk around Archer’s yard to do his business so he would be good until we came back from dinner.
The ride to his office was awkwardly silent, but I didn’t feel like talking. When he tried to make conversation, I moved to turn the volume up on his radio. He took the hint and remained quiet.
However, that may not have been the better option. Literally , the next three songs were not good for my mental state.
The first song was by Rihanna called “ Hate That I Love You ”.
That one hit home. Then came an older song, “ King of Wishful Thinking ” by Go West .
If the music gods were trying to send me a message about not being over a love and second chances, that message was coming in loud and clear.
Trying to change the channel, I hit a button on his XM radio, and it popped up with a song I’d never heard of before—" I’ll Be Waiting ” by Cian Ducrot .
It only took listening to it for about sixty seconds to realize this song wasn’t any better.
“Jeez, you have a weird selection of music channels on here,” I told him, feeling myself get defensive over breakup and second-chance songs.
“Ruthie picked all of them out, not me,” Archer replied.
“Why did your administrative assistant pick out your radio stations?”
“She used to live in the same apartment complex as me, so we would carpool together to work frequently,” he replied, giving me more details about his personal life that I found I oddly craved. “ Apparently , I have poor taste in music, so she deemed it her job to change them to something better.”
As much as I didn’t care for the songs that had just played, I found it funny that Ruthie took it upon herself to fix his music channels.
Thankfully, no more second-chance romance songs came on by the time we pulled into his office, sparing me any more uncomfortableness.
He had given me the basic rundown of his office, but seeing it in person was quite different. I don’t know what I thought private security buildings were like on the inside, but this was not it.
It was in an old brick building that had been converted to mixed use. The old brick building was normal on the outside, but inside, they’d done a lot of work to make it classy yet understated.
We eventually made our way up to the second floor and I was given one of their private offices to work from. As I sat and typed away on my computer, I realized I was feeling happy for Archer that this company was working out well for him.
I’d spent so much time over the last few years feeling bitter about him divorcing me, and now, knowing there had been so much more to the story, it felt different.
A lot, but not all, of the hate and bitterness was gone.
In their place was a sense of pride for him and his business and everything he had accomplished.
I still wasn’t sure how to feel about him on an emotional level, but maybe we could get to the point of being friends… I shook my head at that thought. Who was I kidding? I couldn’t be friends with him.
My phone buzzed in rapid fire—likely a group text from my sisters. Deciding I needed a break from my video editing anyway, I grabbed my phone to look at what they were saying.
Hazel:
OMG! I got to see a real Lancetfish today! It washed ashore (don’t worry, it was already dead) all in one piece!
Hazel:
[picture]
Cora:
I get you’re an ocean nerd and you think that stuff is cool, but that photo just ruined my breakfast.
Iris:
Yeah, I’m with Cora . That thing looks ugly as hell.
Gale:
You know I love animals, but that thing is super creepy.
Anna:
I’m happy for you… I think.
Cora:
I can’t unsee that.
Hazel:
I hate all of you.
Iris:
You love us, even though we did give you all of those new gray hairs you have near your forehead.
Hazel:
That’s it… I’m sending all of you Christmas gifts from poopsenders.com. The mega pack!
Gale:
Why would you pay for animal poop when I could send it to you for free from the farm?
Iris:
LOL
Hazel:
Grrrrrrrrr
Cora:
We love you, old lady.
These four women were everything to me. We teased each other, sure, but we all knew we would do anything to help or support each other in any way we could. We shared a unique connection that very few people had.
We all knew what it was like to grow up the way we did, but we had each other.
I went back to work, this time with a smile on my face.
The afternoon flew by, and a few hours later, Archer walked into the office I was working in to tell me we would head down to the pub in about fifteen minutes.
I was both nervous and excited to see his friends. I’d already met a few, but I had only heard about the rest. They seemed like great people, but I was the ex-wife, and I didn’t know what they knew about me or my past with Archer .