13. Anna
ANNA
I needed to get away from Archer . My heart was racing, and I could feel my resolve breaking down. His compliments about me had me rethinking my promise to myself that I would not let him affect me.
“You look gorgeous tonight, by the way.”
“You already said that,” I replied nervously.
“Didn’t know there was a limit for those kinds of comments.”
There wasn’t a limit—at least not with normal men—but with Archer … Too many compliments from him, and my brain would go back to those thoughts about us being together. Thoughts I wasn’t ready to deal with.
When his fingers touched the side of my face, tucking a wayward curl behind my ear, his touch felt like fire, but in a good way. Too good.
I forced myself to walk away from him before I let things go too far.
If he kept touching me—or, God forbid, kissed me—there would be no turning back.
I still had feelings for that man. I knew I did.
No matter how hard I played it off as though I was unaffected by him, the truth was, he owned so much real estate in my brain it should be illegal.
I had no idea where I was going, but I ended up at the makeshift bar area, which was good because I could use a drink.
I ordered something and took a seat at one of the barstools set up along the side.
A glance back over at Archer showed that he had walked off to the other side of the dance floor and was talking with a few people in friendly conversation.
How could he be so calm and collected right now?
He was smiling like that moment we had on the dance floor wasn’t a huge moment for us.
I felt a rustle next to me and turned to see Tammy take a seat to my left.
“It ain’t none of my business, so I’m just gonna say my peace, and then we can move on to more important things, but I see you watchin’ that boy. Your eyes are shooting daggers at him like you already know where you’re gonna bury the body…but your body is tellin’ quite a different story.”
Tammy seemed like a nice woman, and the only other time I had met her, she seemed to give solid advice, but I wasn’t even ready to have this conversation with myself, let alone someone I didn’t know.
She cut me off before I had the chance to say anything. “ Holding on to anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die,” Tammy added as she took a swig of her beer.
Wow. If that wasn’t both deeply meaningful and also made me feel like crap at the same time.
“You’re a very sage woman, you know that, Tammy ?” I told her, impressed by her words.
“Oh, those aren’t my words, honey,” Tammy rebuked. “ Someone much smarter than me came up with that—probably Ghandi , Buddha , or Dolly Parton —a real genius. I just chose to remember it and share it when I felt the time was right.”
She wasn’t wrong, though I did smile at her lumping Dolly in with other such influential and remarkable visionary leaders.
“Sometimes being human means behaving badly and messing up, but it’s important to learn how to forgive—and to be forgiven,” Tammy added, and that felt like a punch to my gut.
I knew it wasn’t a personal attack on me per se, but that’s how it felt.
“When you find a man who knows you’re not perfect but treats you like you are anyway, that man is a keeper,” Tammy added. “ And bonus points if that man also happens to have a big dick and is great in bed.”
I chuckled at her advice. I really liked this woman.
“Now,” Tammy said, clapping her hands together.
“ I’ve said my piece, so we can move on to more exciting things.
Where did you get that fantastic red dress?
I need one in my size. I’ve got a date with some fancy Air Force JAG lawyer next week, and I’d like him to see me in that dress…
and then help me back out of it, if you know what I mean. ”
She wiggled her eyebrows up and down, and I threw my head back and laughed. This woman had a way of making you get emotional and spiritually deep but then brought the humor back, letting you smile about everything around you. I needed that.
* * *
After spending some more time at the bar with Tammy and talking with Ellie and Cat , who had come up to join us at the bar, everyone finally decided to start packing up and head home.
The great thing about my conversations with all the women at the bar was that it distracted me from thinking about Archer . The bad thing was it distracted me from thinking about Archer —thus, I hadn’t figured out what I was going to say to him.
Thankfully, he must have either sensed my unwillingness to talk about that topic more, or he was tired and just wanted to leave.
“You ready to head back, or do you want to stay?”
“I wouldn’t mind sitting on your back patio by the fireplace with Percy if that’s okay,” I told him honestly.
He smiled back at me. “ We can do that.”
“You should probably tell Andre and Dane we’re headed out so they don’t get worried we’ve been kidnapped,” I told him.
“Good call,” he replied, giving me a small smile. “ I admire your awareness and regard for the extra security protocols.”
I knew just as much as he did about the importance of good security measures and paying attention to small details.
I walked over to the table to grab my handbag and tried to think quickly about how to bring up what had happened on the dance floor.
Alas, Archer was too quick and was back at our table in no time.
Silence. I should just feign tiredness and not speak. That would give me more time to think.
“You ready?” he asked, and I simply nodded.
He put his hand at the small of my back to guide me through the nearby tables as we exited the tent. His simple touch on my back radiated heat. I picked up my pace a bit to essentially outrun his hand. He finally let it drop as we made our way to the long driveway.
My mind raced with thoughts of him. His revelations about our divorce a few days ago. The things he had said on the dance floor. He wanted me back. He wanted us back.
To some men, it was all about the chase, and I wondered if Archer felt the same.
Was I just the one who got away? Maybe that was where the pull was coming from—or at least that was what I kept telling myself.
Sure , we’d had great sex too, but this likely stemmed from him just wanting what he couldn’t have.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Archer’s voice startled me out of my thoughts.
“Not really,” I answered honestly, glancing over to look at him.
It was dark out, so he was only visible through the moonlight and the distant lights of his house. It was enough, though, to see the nervous smile on his face.
“You know, talking it out is usually the best way to sort out the problem.”
I knew that. I was currently talking it out with myself in my head. But I wasn’t ready to add in his opinions or thoughts.
“It’s not your problem, Archer . I’m not your problem.”
“You’re right. You’re not a problem. But you are my soulmate—and I’m yours,” he responded so simply.
I was about to argue with him on that point, but he spoke again quickly.
“I am,” he said firmly but without judgment. “ I know you don’t see it that way anymore, but I never stopped being yours, and you never stopped being mine.”
How could he be so sure about something like that?
“I don’t know where we stand, Archer ,” I told him as we neared his house.
I started to say more, but he cut me off and turned me to face him.
“ Then let me clear things up, Ace , so you know where I stand. I want you back. I’ll do everything in my power to convince you that we’re meant to be together.
I don’t know what the future holds for me, but I know I want you in it. ”
“I know you care about me, and on some level, I still care about you too,” I explained. “ We were married, albeit briefly, so naturally there will be some level of caring. You can’t tell me you’ve been celibate this whole time waiting for me?”
“Ace, I’ve fisted my cock to you more nights than I care to admit these last few years,” he told me, shocking me. “ And this is probably TMI , but almost a year ago, I had a few drinks at the pub and went home with a woman.”
Oh God , I did not want to hear this. I started shaking my head, trying to give him the hint, but he just kept on talking.
“I called her Ace while I was having sex with her—twice.”
Outwardly, my body was still as my eyebrows lifted practically to my hairline. Inside , though, it felt somewhat exhilarating hearing that he wanted me, though I was also slightly embarrassed for the other woman.
“So, no, I haven’t been celibate, but as much of a dick as it might make me seem, you were never far from my thoughts.”
I stood there, immobile, taking in everything he had said. I closed my eyes for a brief moment, but when I opened them, he had moved closer to me and was now a mere inch away.
For a moment, I thought he was going to kiss me, but instead, he lifted his hand to tuck a loose curl behind my ear.
“Go inside and get changed and I’ll meet you by the fire pit,” he said softly. “ I’ll let Percy out.”
I knew when to take advantage of a moment, and this was one of those times. I turned and made my way up the small sidewalk to his front door, walking inside without looking back.