17. Vivienne
17
VIVIENNE
T he masculine scent is the first thing invading my senses, followed by a godawful throbbing in my head.
Oh my God. Last night wasn’t a dream.
I force my eyes to open only a sliver and see a hard chest under my head. I groan and squeeze my eyes tight again. What the hell is wrong with me?
I just let everything happen. And there’s no excuse for it. Not heartbreak. Not alcohol. Nothing.
I can’t believe my own actions.
It was clear Sawyer wanted to hurt Asher, and he used me to do it. I just let him. I wanted him to do it. I looked into Asher’s eyes and saw the spark of jealousy. And I liked it.
Why?
I feel sick as I lay there knowing exactly why. When Sawyer whispered in my ear and told me I needed to let Asher know he doesn’t own me, my own muddled brain decided then and there I would go as far as I needed to so I could prove just that.
I sit up, my stomach rolling as I open my eyes and the room spins. I look down at Sawyer, who is still asleep but stirs at my movement.
He’s so impossibly beautiful but clearly has a darker side to him than I realized.
I’m met with brown eyes and a lazy grin as he wakes, tucking a hand behind his head. His voice sounds gravely. “You’re wishing it was him you woke up with, right?”
I don’t argue. “It wouldn’t have bothered you in the slightest if I would have gone to his bed last night.”
And he doesn’t either as he sits up slowly, letting his back rest against my headboard. “I mean, my balls would have been angry.”
I roll my eyes, and he offers a sad smile. “I’m sorry, Viv. I shouldn’t have fucking done that to you.” He looks pained as his eyes hold mine. “It wasn’t about you.”
I nod my head, already knowing that. “I know. But why did you want to hurt Asher so badly?”
I mean, I know why Sawyer wanted to hurt him after Asher implied he messed around with his Piper, but it was ominous before that.
He finds his swim trunks from last night and tugs them on over his ass as he stands up from my bed, looking a little green. I guess I’m not the only one who’s hungover. “It wasn’t even really about him at first.” His hand runs through his hair as he takes a seat on the edge of the bed. “She’s working for my brother.”
I look at him in confusion, hoping for some clarity. “Piper?”
He nods. “She’s here in California.”
I gape at him, wide-eyed. “What? How is that even possible?” His eyes meet mine, and I nearly gasp when it clicks. “You already knew she was here? When we all moved here?”
He pales and nods his head. “I did.”
“Sawyer.” I move to sit next to him, not caring about my nakedness at the moment. “If your brother works here, why didn’t you just work for him instead of Linc?”
His eyes turn dark again, leaving a sinking feeling in my stomach. “Because I hate my brother. And the feeling is mutual.”
My throat feels dry, and I suddenly realize I don’t know Sawyer at all. “And Piper is working for him?”
He nods once, and I can see the pain in his eyes as I brush my hand over his cheek. “It’s one fucked-up, tangled mess.”
He turns away from me, and I lay my head on his shoulder. “What does all of this have to do with last night?”
“I saw her.”
I don’t move. “Why didn’t you tell me this last night? I would have listened.”
The shoulder I'm resting on lifts in a shrug. “I don’t know. I don’t talk about her.”
“I understand.” I can feel him trying to smile, knowing he wants this to go away. We stay like that for a moment, and then I take a deep breath, knowing I have to make a change. “I think you and I need to be over.”
He turns, cupping my face in his hands as he does, his eyes kind. “I think we never really began.”
I nod in agreement and let my eyes drift down to his chest over his tattoo, with his hands still on my face. “That might be why.”
He turns and uses his hands to swivel my head toward the wall Asher and I share. “And that.”
I nod my head sadly, and he drops his hands, releasing me. I point at the letter on his chest. “You know, at first I thought that could have stood for Penelope. Linc calls her P.”
He chuckles and stands up, pulling a shirt over his chest. “Fuck. No. I’ve never touched Penelope. I don’t need all that fucking drama.”
I laugh and find a shirt and shorts to pull on. “Do you think Asher really contacted her?”
I see the flash of anger on his beautiful face and see his hands flex at his sides. “I don’t know, but I want to rip his fucking head off, just thinking about it.”
It confirms what I already knew. He has strong feelings for Piper. And neither of us is in love with the other.
“We can still be friends, right?”
He walks to me and kisses my forehead. “You aren’t ever getting rid of me. And neither is Baz.”
I smile, feeling relieved. “Good.”
He shrugs, smiling and finding his way back to the Sawyer I know. “And if you ever need some good dick, you know where to go.”
I roll my eyes at him and shake my head. “Don’t ever change, Sawyer.”
He winks and gives me a quick kiss before exiting my room.
I feel oddly empty as he leaves but not in the same way I felt when I walked away from Asher, leaving him in Kansas.
I lay back on my bed, covering my aching eyes with my arm.
Once again, I've made a massive mess for myself.