Chapter 18
CAMILLE
Iforce a smile on my face as I walk into Sweet Cakes.
Lizzy heads home today, and I feel absolutely miserable.
Having her here with me these past few weeks has been so good for my soul.
I’m going to miss her something fierce. The thought of watching her walk-through security at the airport later today crushes me.
Leaving her behind in Georgia was the hardest hurdle I had to overcome when I decided to move so far away.
I wanted to pack her up and bring her with me, but her life is in Savannah.
She has a great job and a lovely apartment close to the water that is remarkably affordable. Plus, all her friends are there.
As much as I want to ask her to stay, it would be selfish of me. I have to let her go.
As a farewell, I got up early and headed into town to pick up the donuts she loves from Rachel. If she has to leave, I’m going to send her off with some good food to hold her over.
“Well, you’re in here early this morning.” Rachel beams from behind the counter. No matter the time of day, this woman always smiles.
“I wanted to pick up some treats for Lizzy before she leaves.” I smile in return but even I can tell it’s forced and probably doesn’t make me look the least bit happy.
“Oh, that’s right. She flies home today.” Rachel brushes a strand of her long brown hair behind her ear and sighs. “You doing okay?”
“Not really,” I chuckle. “It’s been so nice having her here. I hate to see her go.”
“I bet. I can’t imagine being that far away from my child.
” Her smile returns as she grabs a bag and fills it with the glazed donuts Lizzy loves.
It doesn’t take Rachel long to learn her customers' favorites. It’s probably one of the many reasons she’s so successful.
“But, hey. You’ve made a lot of friends here now.
We’ll have to get together at The Wine Room to distract you.
Or Stocks & Stables. Have you been there yet? ”
“I haven’t, but all of that sounds lovely.” And she’s right. I do have friends here now. Rachel and I hit it off almost immediately. She’s only a few years younger than me, and we get along great. Our shared interest in cooking and making people happy through food gives us plenty to talk about.
We’ve made plans to get together after Lizzy leaves to throw a tapas party.
She’ll make the sweet treats, and I’ll make the savory ones.
I’m very much looking forward to it. Throwing dinner parties is one of the things I've missed the most since losing Mark. Once the chalet renovation is complete, I’ll have the perfect place to host larger gatherings.
Maybe I can even host local events if I keep some of the larger rooms open for dinner parties.
“What time do you leave for the airport?” she asks.
“Later this evening. Lizzy’s booked on the red-eye. So at least I get most of the day with her.”
“Is Adam going with you guys? I know he’s quite taken with that girl.”
“Yep.” My smile returns. He and Lizzy have become quite close these past few weeks. They even exchanged phone numbers so they can text after she leaves. “That he is. Those two have really created a bond. I think he’s going to miss her almost as much as I am.”
“You’re not by any chance talking about my son, are you?” Rosie’s sweet voice calls from behind me.
“Oh, hi Rosie.” She surprises me when she leans in for a hug. I’m not sure I’m ever going to get used to all these huggers. But it’s starting to grow on me. The comfort and affection—even if small—is a welcomed feeling.
“I am.” I answer after she pulls back from me.
She’s smiling, but there’s a look in her eyes I can’t quite decipher that doesn’t match her smile.
Rosie places her coffee order with Rachel then looks at me with her hands on her hips. “Come sit with me for a minute.”
“Oh, I really should be getting back. This is my last day with Lizzy.”
“Just for a moment. I won’t keep you long.” She doesn’t wait for me to answer. She heads to a table like she expects me to follow without further argument.
I sigh, feeling myself give into her when I know I shouldn’t.
A sense of disappointment washes over me as this one simple request reminds me of my own mother.
She always has a way of saying things to get me to agree to her.
I hate it. And I hate how it makes me feel weak.
Right now, Rosie is making me feel weak.
I thank Rachel for my coffee and pastries and follow Rosie to a table by the door.
“I hear the chalet remodel is coming along nicely.”
“It is. Adam has done a fabulous job so far. The first floor is almost complete.”
“Adam is very talented. Leo, my late husband, had been so disappointed when Adam turned down running the ranch to study architecture. But Adam is exactly where he needs to be.”
“Yes, it would have been a shame if he hadn’t embraced his talents.”
Rosie leans forward with her elbows on the table and narrows her eyes. “Listen. I don’t want to take up more of your time than necessary. I’d hate to keep you from your daughter.”
“I appreciate that.” I nod, still not comfortable with where this is going.
Rachel brings Rosie her coffee, and they exchange some pleasantries before Rosie turns her attention back to me.
“I’m just gonna spit this out, so bear with me.
” She takes a sip of her hot coffee and sighs.
“Please don’t break my son’s heart. He’s been hurt enough.
He still hasn’t recovered from the pain of all he’s lost in life.
But he is healing. However, a healing heart is an easily broken heart.
I’d rather die than see him broken again. ”
I suck in a breath and drop my head into my hands.
Oh, my God, this is exactly what my mother would do.
It instantly triggers my anger which in turn triggers my tears.
I do not want to cry in front of this woman.
Sure, her voice is sweet and laced with nothing but concern.
But I get her meaning loud and clear. She thinks I’m no good for Adam.
Why does everyone think the worst of me? First his brothers, and now his mother.
I take a deep breath and meet her stare. “I assure you, hurting Adam is the last thing I want to do.”
“I believe you.” She pauses like she’s taking her time to choose her next words. “You have your own pain. And it's still fresh in your eyes. While you may not want to hurt Adam, that pain of yours—the pain you refuse to let go—will, unless you let your heart heal, too.”
“You don’t know anything about me.” I struggle to hold back my anger and my tears. I can’t let myself lose my cool in front of this woman.
I’m not ready for anyone else to know about my loss. It’s still too raw, too painful. She’s right that my pain still has a strong grip on my heart. But I’ve been honest with Adam about that. And he’s honest with me about his pain.
Our eyes are wide open. Why can’t they trust in that?
“Oh, dear.” Rosie reaches over and squeezes my hand. I want to jerk away, but I resist. “This isn’t coming out right. I don’t want to upset you.”
“Then what are you trying to do?” I bark back, harsher than I intend.
“I … I just … Well, Adam doesn’t talk about his past. I know you have one, too. I just want to know that you two are careful with each other. No one needs more pain. Not him. And I imagine not you, either.”
I take a deep breath and rub my temples.
Maybe Rosie doesn’t mean anything bad by this conversation, but it still makes me uncomfortable.
“Listen, all I can tell you is Adam and I have been open with each other. I know about his past, and he knows about mine. We’ve been very honest with each other.
I like him. A lot. But I can’t promise this will work out. And neither can he. But we’re trying.”
“Okay.” She pats my hand with a faint smile. “That’s all I can ask of you both.” She pushes back from the table to stand but pauses midway. “I like you very much, Camille. I don’t want to see you hurt, either.”
I nod. Her words cause a tear to escape my control. I quickly brush it away and fight back the others.
After she leaves, I grab my things and rush to my car. As soon as I sit behind the driver seat and shut the door, the dam bursts, and tears rush down my face. I cry and I cry and I cry. It’s the most I’ve cried in months.
When my tears stop, and I dry my face, I feel better. Everything will be fine. Rosie may be concerned, but she doesn’t need to be. At least, not about me. I’ve found a new start to my life, and for the first time in two years, I feel my heart healing. And I have Adam to thank for that.
The rest of the day goes by too fast.
Before I know it, we’re piled into Adams' truck and heading to the airport. Even the ride to the airport is too fast. With each passing mile, Lizzy is closer to leaving me. My anxiety is high and my heart is starting to ache.
“Mom.” Lizzy’s soft voice whispers in my ear. Her hand is on my arm, and she rests her chin on my shoulder. “We’re here.”
I nod and look out the window. If I look at her, I’ll cry.
“You okay?” she asks.
I shake my head and squeeze my eyes shut. I will not cry, not yet. I steel my emotions and take a deep breath. “I’m gonna miss you, sweetheart. I hate watching you leave.”
“I’m gonna miss you, too.” She pushes up over the seat and kisses my cheek, her own tears streaming down her face. “I’ll be back soon. Thanksgiving will be here before you know it.”
I pat her cheek and wipe her tears. “Come on. Let’s go get you checked in.”
Adam carries her bags while we walk arm in arm into the airport.
Letting go of Lizzy long enough so she can get her boarding pass is hard.
But I manage. Thankfully, I have Adam’s arms to replace hers.
It isn’t the same, but it helps being held by someone right now. And I like this someone very much.
Her bags are checked, and she has her boarding pass in hand. Standing outside the security check, I pull her in for another hug. I have to take what I can get now.
“Do you have all your snacks?” I ask.
“Yep.” She points toward her backpack that’s slung over her shoulder. “I have extra donuts and those little cookies you made yesterday. I should be more than fine.”
“Well, all right then.” My voice cracks. Lizzy gives me an understanding smile, and I feel Adam’s hand on the small of my back. I love how they’re both trying to help me through this goodbye.
I hold her at arm's length and struggle to fight back my tears. “Call me when you make it home. I don’t care what time it is.”
“I will.” This time she pulls me in for a hug before her tears spill down her cheeks. “I better head through. I want to have enough time to grab something to drink before boarding starts.”
She looks to Adam and opens her arms for a hug. He wraps his arms around her without hesitation. Seeing them hug is the final straw. I can no longer hold back my tears. It’s a slow drip, but it's enough to get the front of my blouse wet.
Watching Adam hug my daughter like she’s his own is my breaking point. I more than like him. I’m not sure how deep my feelings for him run, but it’s definitely more than I’ve been willing to admit to myself.
Right now he’s mine, and I’ll be damned if I do anything to jeopardize the connection we’ve formed.
Lizzy takes my hand one last time before she says goodbye. I resist letting go, and hold onto her for a few seconds too long. When her hand slips out of mine, my tears stream down my cheeks like a flash flood.
My emotions overwhelm me as I watch her disappear into the security line. My tears turn into sobs and my shoulders shake. Had Adam not been there to hug me tight, I would’ve fallen into a puddle on the floor.
For the second time today, I break down and cry. Really, really cry. Only this time, I have the comfort of Adam’s arms to soothe me.