Chapter 5
Chapter Five
APRIL
“Oh my God, April.” Sara gapes at me. “I can’t believe you brought all this stuff.” Staring wide-eyed at everything she spilled on the ground, she holds the now empty bag limply in her fingers. “It’s amazing!”
“Yeah, amazing.” I mumble under my breath and then smile tightly at her. “I hope there is something we can use for Eddie in there.”
“There is.” Frowning, she crouches, rummaging through the things. “I have no idea what most of these are, but they have instructions.” Looking up, she grins at me a moment before her face turns serious. “To be honest with you, I thought we’d never see you again. I didn’t think you’d come back.”
“Yeah, you and me both.” When her eyes widen at my quiet admission, I hurry to assure her. “Not because I want to get rid of you guys. You misunderstood me. I didn’t think I’d stay alive long enough to come back.”
“How did you manage to get all this stuff, anyway? We can barely find food without being seen.”
“Just lucky, I guess.” Shrugging my shoulders, I turn away from her, ruffling the mutts ears so she doesn’t see the turbulent emotions brewing inside me.
There is no reason to tell her how weird tonight has been.
My mind keeps going over the entire ordeal, scrutinizing every detail, sound and scent.
Even now, safely hidden in our sewer, goosebumps cover my entire body.
The more I think about it the more certain I am that someone was watching me.
And who broke into the pharmacy for me? Good Samaritans don’t exist nowadays.
Unless you have something to trade, you get nothing free.
Yet, here I am with a bag full of medicine and not a hair missing from my head.
Sara’s excited squeal sends a jab into my heart.
“Look!” Barely containing her happiness, she waves a box of pads at me. “We just lifted in society. We are considered mid-class now.”
When her words register in my numbed brain, I burst out laughing. “You scared the shit out of me, woman,” I tell her after my laughter subsides. “Don’t squeal like that. I thought the Council found us.”
“God forbid.” Making a cross with her hand, the smile slips from her face. “I’d probably be screaming from the top of my lungs if that was the case, not squealing.”
“Good point. I’m just still a little jumpy from my trip.” Waving off her concerns that are scrunching up her face, I turn to the mutt that’s soaking up all the scratches. “Don’t mind me. Sorry I killed your excitement.”
“Did anything happen?” Sara walks up to where Eddie is sleeping to check on his fever with the back of her hand before coming to sit next to me.
“I didn’t want to say anything when you got back, but…
” After glancing at me sideways, she starts poking at a scab that has formed on her arm.
“You looked like you’ve seen a ghost. I’ve never seen anyone that pale, apart from a corpse. ”
Keeping my focus on the mutt, my mind tries very hard to decide if it’s smart to tell her the truth.
We are all scared, but tonight got me paranoid.
On one hand, she should be aware if someone is really keeping an eye on me.
It puts her and Eddie in danger. On the other hand, if I freak her out, she might react out of fear and get us all either seen or killed.
Would I like to know if the roles were reversed?
The answer is yes. Yes, I would. I’d probably be pissed if I found out later that they’ve been hiding something.
Sighing, I steel myself for whatever reaction she is about to have.
“I think I was being followed the entire way there and back.”
Still not looking at her, I keep rubbing the floppy ears of the mutt. Sara stops digging her chipped nails in the scab, and her entire body stiffens. Bracing myself for her outburst, I hold my breath.
“Are you sure?” The fear in her voice is like sharp claws raking over my heart.
“I didn’t see anyone if that’s what you’re asking.
But I felt it.” Lifting my head up at last, I let her see that I’m as worried about this as she is.
“Plus, things happened that confirmed someone was there, anticipating my every move, and the reason I was walking around town in the middle of the night.”
“Tell me exactly what happened.” Twisting around to face me, expectation is clear in her body language.
So, I tell her everything, including my idiotic reaction when seeing my own reflection.
The longer I talk, the lighter I feel. I haven’t been able to unload my worries on anyone since my parents disappeared.
Is this how it feels to not be alone? For so many years I’ve kept everything to myself.
It makes me unsure how to be human. My actions and reactions are all based on instinct for self-preservation.
Like a wild animal. Sara and Eddie needed me, especially with the boy being sick.
The more I talk, however, I’m not sure who needed whom more.
When I’m done relaying everything, up to the moment I descended the ladder of our sewer with the bag over my shoulder and the mutt tucked under my arm, my body is sagging in relief.
“That’s why I think someone was following me,” I finish lamely. I shrug one shoulder.
“Maybe someone else needed medication, too? I mean, we are surely not the only ones left hiding.” Her words sound strong, but when I lift my eyes to her face, I can tell Sara doesn’t believe her own reasoning either.
“Maybe…” Leaning back on the wall, I close my eyes. I’m so tired I can barely keep them open any longer. “Whatever it was, we should stay low for a few days, I think. Just in case.”
“Should we try to find another spot in the tunnels where we’ll be safer?”
“This is the safest place to be if we want to live, Sara. Trust me.”
The words pass my lips more like an intangible murmur more than anything else.
I’m not even sure I said them out loud. Something in me flutters, a whispered worry that I’m crazy thinking anywhere is safe.
Why in the world would I tell her this? Optimistic ideas like that have killed many, yet I can’t find enough strength to open my eyes and correct the bullshit that spilled from my lips.
“As crazy as it sounds, April”—I feel Sara’s fingers pushing hair away from my forehead, just like I’ve seen her do it to Eddie— “I believe you from the bottom of my soul.”
My stomach clenches when I hear her whispered words, but sleep overtakes all rational thought and everything around me turns dark.