Chapter 70
Chapter Seventy
APRIL
After leaving the three bullheaded men at the bar, I sit next to mutt’s sleeping form on the floor of the reception hall.
I can feel everyone’s eyes on me, but I ignore them, watching my fingers glide through my dog’s fur in fascination.
A strange sense of calm has taken residence inside me, and I relax into it.
It’s a welcome feeling after all the turmoil and anger shredding my insides for over a week.
Has it been only a week or so? It feels like a lifetime.
So many things happened, so many things changed.
It should be impossible to have it done in such a short amount of days, yet here we are.
And I meant every word I said to Sebastian back there.
If that woman dies, I will make no distinction between a friend and a foe.
Not if none of them understand the value of sacrifice, or the hurt that bitch Hope can inflict when you are holding onto her like a lifeline.
Mutt nuzzles closer to my leg, as trusting and loyal as ever.
This dog never ceases to amaze me, but I still don’t know what I’ve done to deserve it.
The memory of that night flashes through my mind’s eye, him standing to the side watching me warily and me…
me opening up a container with a slice of smelly-looking meat and throwing it at his paws.
Before I tried to chase him away, I shared food with him.
Realization dawns on me as I finally see what he saw in me that day.
Someone to share with, to break the loneliness with.
A family.
My eyes flick up, and my body jolts slightly when I see all the Guardians, including those that used to watch me with apprehension, all clustered around me.
What’s more shocking is seeing Marcus among them, right across from me, watching me with sad eyes.
I flick my gaze from face to face, my stomach clenching.
There is no more feeding, naked bodies, or sounds of sex around me. No conversations, apart from the soft murmurs coming from the humans that have gathered in a tight nest of their own, glaring my way from the opposite side of the vast space.
A nest.
All these people I still call monsters inside my head are gathering to me because that’s what they’ve been lacking.
In their need to fight against the oppression and depravity of the old fools, they’ve all been missing the same thing mutt and I have.
Someone to share with and to destroy the loneliness with.
A family where you don’t have to worry if you show weakness.
To know you are safe and that those feelings won’t get you killed.
In all his good meaning and desire to help them achieve that, Sebastian has missed this one thing.
He gave them a cause, a reason to fight.
But he never gave them a family. A sanctuary, yes.
A nest, no. A reluctant smile pulls the corners of my lips, and it’s like a physical feeling when the tension disappears around us.
Shoulders relax, heads drop slightly on necks, and muscles uncoil as they all sprawl out around me.
I summon Marcus to me with a slight tilt of my chin.
He lifts off the floor, stepping gracefully over those around him like he’s been waiting on it.
When he sits down, leaving enough space between us for another person, I grab his arm, yanking him to me.
He doesn’t say a word, sitting stiff and alert like a statue.
My heart hurts that he feels like that around me, although I don’t regret my words.
Leaning my head on his shoulder, I feel him gradually relax, and his heavy sigh sends a ping through my chest.
“I’m sorry I attacked you.” His body jolts at my words like I’ve struck him, so I tilt my head up to look at him. “I mean it.”
“There is nothing to be sorry about, April. I was there because I knew you’d need to feed.
” Looking down at me, his eyes are open and earnest, making it hard for me to breathe.
“I knew you’d never hurt me. Well, I knew you wouldn’t kill me.
Even in those moments, hurting is relative in our world.
You were learning control. I wanted to be there for you since you were set on ripping Sebastian’s throat out.
” A smirk plays on his handsome face, allowing me to take a full breath.
“You are a good man, Marcus. I’m still sorry I was so angry.” Squeezing his arm in gratitude, I lean my head on it again, scanning the room.
“You had every right to be. I was angry for you, but I just know how to hide my emotions.” Chuckling, he relaxes further, leaning his back heavily on the wall behind us. “And I’m not sure all of it was anger if we are honest,” he adds reluctantly.
“What do you mean? I saw red. If that’s not rage, I don’t know what is.” My laugh has no humor in it.
“I’ve lived long enough to see a lot of things, April.” He stops talking when Andrei and Sebastian walk in and come to sit next to us.
Something has changed. I can feel it in them, through the muted bond and in the air surrounding them.
Andrei’s face looks pained, his blue eyes watching me with so much guilt, I need to shake my head to clear it.
What the hell happened after I left them in the bar?
When Andrei glances at Marcus and drops his eyes to the floor, I have an inkling on why things have changed.
Sebastian looks around, his shoulders stiffening when, I have no doubt, he comes to the same realization I did.
What was missing in this mismatched group of people gathered together for the same cause.
His gaze swings to my face, and we hold our eyes locked for a long moment.
He takes my fingers, lifting them up to press a kiss on them, and that small gesture holds so much emotion his hand and lips are trembling with it.
Marcus breaks the tension. “As I said, I’ve seen a lot over the centuries. You displayed anger, or rage if you will, but I should’ve seen the fear you tried to hide with that.” My body jerks away from him, but he grabs my other hand, squeezing my fingers in desperation to hear him out.
“Fear is useless. I’m not afraid.” I’m silenced by my own defensive tone. Can it be? Is he right?
“Useless or not, you can’t control fear.
And it’s only human to feel it.” Searching my face, he doesn’t let go of my hand.
“And that’s okay, April. It’s okay to feel human.
That’s what we are ready to lay our immortal lives down for.
To be able to feel, to have that part of us that was taken returned.
We just lost track of why we started this whole thing in the first place. ”
“He speaks the truth,” Sebastian says from my other side, his deep voice raising goosebumps over my arms and legs.
“You think the same?”
I sound doubtful, but instead of his usual arrogance, I only get a pleading look.
Am I dreaming? I can’t help wondering if I’ve fallen asleep and I’m making things up.
Andrei shuffles closer, our knees bumping gently.
He places his hand on my leg and mutt moves his head on top of it.
A strange feeling passes through me, all of us in some way physically touching, connected not just through the bond, but through contact as well.
A family. I welcome the voice inside me this time.
“I need to leave.” Protectiveness surges through my veins. “I need to be inside the Council Towers before tonight’s celebration starts. They can’t see me coming.”
“You need to change so you can blend in. You can’t show up looking like this.
” Sebastian shocks me further when he doesn’t turn all caveman on me, even when I can see it’s taking a lot out of him to control it.
“And at least take a couple of the human Guardians. They can walk in the daylight. I failed you, my redemption. Let me make it up to you. I will not stop you, but I will be able to relax a bit more knowing you at least have someone watching your back.” He is squeezing my fingers so tight I can feel the bones grinding together.
“I will do my best to be what you need if it kills me.”
Oh, Sebastian, if you only knew how right you are. My heart squeezes in my chest at the thought.
“I’ll take the two who were attacked by Irina.” I almost laugh at the confused look on his face. “They can walk the daylight just like me.” His eyes widen slightly, but he stays wisely quiet.
“I’ll take care of the way you look.” Andrei jumps up, looking happy to be given something to do. “I’ll make sure you are hot as hell when we kill those bastards.”
He pulls me to my feet, mutt and Sebastian protesting at the same time, which makes me smile. Adrenaline rushes through my body. Halting Andrei, I turn to Marcus. “Sara does not come with you.” I know they’ll bring humans in case they need to feed if injured.
His eyes stay locked on mine for a long second. “It’s not jealousy.” A statement, not a question.
You have no idea, I think. “No, it’s not,” I tell him, ignoring Sebastian’s intent gaze.
“She will not leave this hotel until we come back.” I know he will get it done, so with a nod and not looking at Sebastian, I let Andrei lead me away.
I’ll deal with Sara and all her secrets after I kill those assholes.