Chapter 34 Naomi [The Past]
Time after graduation moved slowly, as if waiting for me and Ty to catch up. I could almost feel it hold its breath as I sat by the window that morning, my bags packed, my heart loud and restless. The sky was empty of clouds and of promises. So was the road.
A few days ago, Ty gave me a mix tape. It had Ty & Naomi’s Road Trip Mix scribbled on it in his illegible handwriting. I’d been tempted to listen to it before our departure, but I held off, wanting to do it with him. It seemed that it would be more meaningful if we played it exactly as directed.
Ty was supposed to pick me up at eight. By eight fifteen, when he still hadn’t shown up, I was getting a bit annoyed.
We’d planned to leave early to avoid driving his old car in the heat.
The air conditioning was broken again, and traveling to LA during the hottest part of the day would be unbearable.
By eight twenty, I was worried. By eight thirty, I was dialing the Brady’s number from our phone in the kitchen, hoping he’d pick up and give me a stupid excuse. Maybe he overslept or maybe he was packing something he forgot to pack the night before.
But no one seemed to be at home since all three of my calls went to voicemail.
I stepped out onto the porch and scanned the Brady’s front yard. It was the same as always—neatly trimmed plants, stones laid out in cute patterns.
I stared at the horizon, searching for a cloud, but the sky was wide and open and bare.
He’ll be here any minute, I thought, until I wasn’t sure I believed it.
I went back inside and paced the living room, my booted feet thudding against the old wood and carpet.
Adri was still asleep in his room after a night out.
Mom and Dad were gone with the truck for the day.
We’d already said our emotional goodbyes last night at dinner, and they left me a note on the fridge, telling me good luck, telling me to call them when I was settled.
My bags were by the door, stuffed with the old dreams I’d had since I was a kid and the new dreams I’d created in high school.
I looked at my hand, at the promise ring he gave me. I wore it everywhere, every day, a silver band with the tiny white stone that whispered love and LA and forever. It stared back at me, small and shiny, a lie I didn’t want to believe.
Finally, feeling the slow burn of fear spreading through my stomach, I decided to go over to Ty’s to see for myself why he was so late.
I ran across the lawn and onto the sidewalk, then past the Bradys’ gate. The sun was already bright and unforgiving, and I dashed toward the side door to the garage Ty usually used.
I yanked at the handle, but it was locked. I knocked softly. When no answer came from the inside, I made a fist and pounded with gusto.
Silence.
The world tilted and spun. I spun too, surveying the front yard. This was when I realized Ty's car was gone. No longer in the driveway.
I stood there shouting his name for a few heartbeats like he’d magically appear if I called loud enough.
Nothing.
Panic surged through me. I sprinted to the house. It looked emptier somehow. I pushed the front door open.
"Ty?" Are you here? Hello? Mrs. Brady? Mr. Brady?"
The inside was quiet and hollow. Were they at work? Now that I thought about it, Mr. Brady’s van was gone too.
It wasn't until I heard a voice in the back yard that hope sparked. Maybe, maybe, maybe. I ran in the direction of the sound. His mother turned around, surprise and concern in her eyes.
Her hands were in the soil, dirt caked under her nails. She loved that tiny garden, the flowers that twisted up toward the sky. She was always there, always bright and warm and alive. I never knew how she made it work in the desert, how she made her flowers bloom and thrive.
"Naomi?" she uttered. "What are you doing here, sweetie?"
"Looking for Ty?" I said. "Did he go to the store? When’s he coming back? He was supposed to get me an hour ago."
The next few seconds stretched into an eternity as she stared at me, confusion knitting her brow.
"Oh, Naomi…" she finally uttered, her voice soft and awkward.
Something twisted inside me. My stomach lurched. I couldn’t breathe.
"I thought you knew." She stood up, wiping her hands on her jeans.
"Knew what?"
"He left early this morning. Must have been at sunrise."
The words hung between us like a bad dream, a horrible mistake that I couldn’t wake up from.
"Left?" I echoed, trying to catch up, trying to make sense of this new information. "He…left? Where?"
"Los Angeles."
"Without me?"
"Honestly, I was a bit shocked myself when he told me."
"Told you what?" I couldn’t think straight.
"He’s been upset these last few days," she continued, her voice uncomfortable and apologetic. "He wouldn’t really talk about it. Last night, he just said you wouldn’t be coming with him. I figured you two had a fight."
A fight? We never fought. Not once.
"So he just left?" I asked again like a dummy.
"He did."
He left me. Tyler Brady left me.
I stood there, frozen in place, as her voice washed over me. I couldn’t understand what she was saying. I couldn’t understand anything.
All I heard was the roar of the earth spinning out of control. All I saw was the light, too bright and too sharp, burning through the wreckage of us.
I ran.
The world around me was unfocused, a fast and dizzying mess passing in my peripheral.
My feet carried me away from Ty’s house, from the truth, from the pain.
The park was quiet and empty when I got there.
It was getting too hot to be outside, and I was the only person in the vicinity except for an old man walking his dog.
I fell onto the bench where Ty and I used to sit for hours, discussing the future. I screamed into the silence, my voice raw and angry. The ring was tight on my finger like a cruel reminder of all those promises.
I yanked it off and hurled it into the grass.
"You liar!"
The words tore past the pain and the betrayal, leaving me breathless and empty.
"You left."
I collapsed against the hard wood, sobs wracking my body. I felt like I was shattering, like I was dissolving into the nothing that surrounded me. I felt like the only thing left was this hollow place where he used to be.
Time crawled over me, dragging me down. My anger was a fire that burned itself out. My cries quieted. My breaths came in shallow, ragged bursts. My heart thudded dully in my chest, its rhythm uncertain and unsteady.
I sat there, waiting for the pieces to fall into place.
They didn’t.
All I felt was the loss, the ache, the dull certainty that he wasn’t coming back.
My fingers unclenched. I looked at the grass where the ring landed, small and shiny and impossible to let go of. My body moved before my mind caught up. I slid off the bench and onto my knees.
I searched for it, my hands digging into the dirt. It was the only thing I had left of him. I couldn’t get rid of it, no matter how much it hurt.
The earth was dry and unyielding, stubborn and quiet against my wandering hands. I dug deeper, moving in blind, desperate sweeps. The small circle of silver slipped through my fingers, taunting me, hiding from me like he did.
Please, come back to me.
I wasn’t sure if I was begging the ring or the boy who’d given it to me.
My knees ached, my fingers were raw, my thoughts a jumble of panic.
Please.
A dull, empty plea.
I swept my hand across the ground one last time. My fingers grazed the metal, caught the smooth edge of it.
It slipped against my skin, small and familiar and almost lost. I pulled it to my chest, cradling it in my fist.
I stayed there on the ground, clutching the tiny promise, unable to put it back on but equally unable to leave it behind.