29. Chapter Twenty-Nine
Chapter Twenty-Nine
I insisted Lorcan shower before I’d have anything to do with him. He tried to coax me into joining him, but I only have a narrow window to find Dai Qing, tell her about Malik, and get whatever information she has from my file. Before rushing out of Lorcan’s room, I tell him I’m going to change. I’ve got blood on my clothes. Malik’s blood. It makes my stomach clench every time the thought crosses my mind.
I’m running down the hall when I see Yichun dusting my wing. Popping my head into where she’s working, I say, “Please get Dai Qing as quickly as you can.”
She gives a curt nod and dashes off while I punch in the code to my room. The light burns red, and it beeps at me. I missed the numbers. When I raise my hand again, it’s shaking. With a deep breath, I steady myself. This won’t do. I can’t fall apart. Finn knows nothing. Malik needs my help. Breathe . I input the code again.
As I’m yanking off my shirt, there’s a brisk knock. At the door, Dai Qing is there with her bucket of cleaning supplies. She comes in and drops everything with a clatter. The door clicks shut behind her.
“He’s there.” She takes the words right out of my mouth.
“Yes. It’s bad.” I discard my pants and search my drawers for other clothes. “When can you extract?”
“Maybe tonight. I don’t know how much warning, if any, I can get you. Stay out of the basement. Try to keep at least one of them away from there. Fewer people means less likelihood of exchanging fire, setting off alarms, getting anyone killed.”
I nod and pull a shirt over my head. “Noted.”
She points to my cheek and frowns.
In the bathroom, I see a spot of blood. Over and over, I pump the soap and wipe my face. When I look, my hands are covered in blood. I scrub and scrub until she places her hand on top of mine.
“They’re clean.”
I look at her in the mirror. “Are they?” Tears pool in my eyes. “I’m screwed. Finn’s suspicious. Malik—” My voice cracks on his name. “He’s here because of me.”
“We’ll get him out.”
I brace my hands on the counter and stare in the mirror. Hungover and haunted is not a good look on me. “My file?”
Dai Qing sucks in a breath. “I’m not sure right now is the best time for that.”
“I want to know. When will we get a chance again? It’s getting dangerous. I don’t want you to end up in the basement at some point.”
The color drains out of her face like a faucet running dry. “The deaths connected to you were ruled as suspicious, did you know that?”
I frown. “Deaths? There’s one. Chad. Well, two, actually. My father. But he died in a hiking accident.”
She shakes her head. “Three deaths, all with the phrase possible Mafia involvement and a question mark. It’s odd. I mean, usually that’s investigated before you get hired. Especially for your job. I mean, if you were an accountant, I could understand it. Even if you were someone like me. Or like an analyst or… security at the agency. But you, you’re—”
“Dai Qing.” I cut off her rambles. “There haven’t been three deaths. There’ve been two.” My watch starts beeping, and there’s a soft knock on the door. He’ll be out of the shower now. I need to get moving.
“Kim,” Yichun says through the door. “Lorcan is calling for you.”
He’s probably worried Finn’s after me. God. This is so messed up. I exit the bathroom and grab pants from a drawer and put them on. “Who else?”
“Chad’s father. Ho-Jun.”
My mind flashes to my mother murmuring those names when I visited her. Then, I remember the violent way she reacted to Lorcan. My skin begins to crawl. Shaking my head, I don’t let the thought take hold. With some force, I gather my hair and loop an elastic around it over and over as tight as I can. “I don’t understand.”
“I’ll try to dig. I don’t know when I’ll be able to get that information to you.”
“Understood.” I stride to the door and open it.
Without another word, I call for Lorcan, pushing my misgivings aside. I might not be able to keep Finn out of the basement, but I intend to do whatever I can to keep Lorcan away from there. If they come to extract Malik, I don’t want Lorcan caught in the crossfire.
Lorcan’s lips trail along my body, and I thread my hands through his hair. We’ve spent most of the day in a tangle of limbs, breathless sighs, and drifting in and out of sleep. As much as possible, I’ve tried to keep my mind off Malik in the basement.
Dai Qing showed up at Lorcan’s door before she left under the pretense of cleaning his room. It was already done, but it gave her enough time to mouth they’d move in around three in the morning.
“Would you ever leave?”
Lorcan’s lips freeze on my stomach, and when he lifts his head, one side of his mouth quirks up. “Leave?”
I lick my lips. “Organized crime.”
His eyes narrow. “Seems like an odd question.” He braces his elbows on either side of my body and crosses his arms over my stomach, resting his chin on top. “You’re in this business. That question from another woman? Maybe. But you? You might not enjoy all of it, but you seem to enjoy enough.”
“Never mind.” I push on his shoulder with my hand, trying to dislodge his position. There’s a chance all hell is going to break loose tonight, so more sleep is probably for the best. This conversation is stupid.
He shifts off me and comes back up to the pillow beside me. We’re both quiet for a moment, and then he rotates onto his side, cradling his head in his hand. I don’t look at him though. Instead, I stare at the ceiling, wondering what I’m doing in this bed with him when Malik is downstairs, possibly at death’s door. What would Malik do if the situation was reversed? What I’m doing now. He’s cool and calculated which is why I trust him more than most. My only hope is Finn got bored and went to bed.
“What are you thinking about?”
“My mind is a blank slate.”
He chuckles. “I doubt that very much.” He collapses onto his back and pulls me into his side. “What’s eating you?”
“What was it you said once? You fall down that hole and there isn’t much chance of coming back out.”
He squeezes me tighter. “Must have been drunk. That sounds like drunk Lorcan.”
“I’ve been thinking maybe when we figure out what happened to your dad, I’ll do something different.”
“Yeah?” His face fills with amusement. “You going to go work for some Hollywood starlet? Keep the paps from taking pics up her skirt or something?”
I punch him in the arm. “Or something. Seriously, did you always want to do this?”
Lorcan grows quiet beside me. “When I was younger, I didn’t want anything to do with it. My father, his friends, some of the bodyguards—I was afraid a lot. My mum was protective, maybe too much. I dunno. Then she got cancer when I was fourteen. And I…” He makes a spiraling motion with his hand and then flattens his palm on my shoulder. “I scuppered any chance I had of doing something different.” His shoulders rise and fall. “I wasn’t afraid anymore of my dad or his friends. I understood the violence in a way my mum never wanted for me.”
“Then by fifteen…”
“I’d killed a man, yeah.” He ruffles his hair and eases his palm behind his head.
“You did it for Finn?”
“I did. Fat lot of good that did me. He wasn’t grateful. He was angry. At the time, I didn’t get it. I’d done him a favor. But Finn loves his revenge. Not sure there’s anything he loves more than settling a score.”
“It was a mechanic, right?”
“’Twas.”
“Finn told me his mom died because of faulty brakes.”
“And I denied him the privilege of avenging her death.”
“At some point, you two must have gotten back on even ground?”
“We did, I suppose. ’Twas never the same. Our father had his mother killed—part of a transaction with the O’Malleys—because my mum asked him to put her first. When Finn found out, everything fell apart. She was dying… and I felt like I was dying too. It…” He shakes his head. “Terrible. ’Twas a terrible time.”
I drape myself across him as though I can somehow shield him from those memories. I kiss his chest and slip my hand under the covers.
He groans. “Again?”
“Can I talk you into it?” I murmur against his chest.
“Talking probably isn’t going to do it.”
Rolling on top of him, I straddle him. “Well,” I purr, flicking my tongue across the skin under his ear, “let’s see what else these lips can do.”
Lorcan grips my waist. “I’ve got a few ideas.”
“You do, do you, big guy?”
“All I heard was the word big. Go on.” His amusement is clear.
I slither along his chest. “I guess we’ll see how big those ideas are.”
“Bigger than average.”
“Your ego certainly is,” I say against his stomach.
“And other parts to match. A perfect set.”
A laugh escapes me.
“I love that sound.”
I glance up. “You do?”
“Yeah. Feels like I’ve won something when you laugh.” He threads his hands through my hair, spreading it across his stomach. “It’s so rare it’s like a prize.”
My heart thuds in my chest. “I like the idea of being a prize.”
“You are. To me.”
I crawl back up his body and push my lips against his. He meets my kiss and weaves his hands into my hair. Then we’re falling again, sinking deeper into each other. I’m already so far down, I’m not sure how I’ll see my way out.