Chapter 40
Chapter Forty
KILLIAN
Iwalk over and scoop her into my arms. Holding her close to my chest, I make my way to the front door. On our exit, I pass the security team charged with guarding the place for the night. Carter runs up ahead of us and opens the back door of the SUV, and I carefully slide in with Heather on my lap.
“Are we going to the pond?”
I kiss her on the forehead, holding her close, trying to avoid getting blood on the upholstery.
“Not tonight, baby. We are going to get you cleaned up and into bed. You need rest. Tomorrow we will start looking for him.”
She doesn’t express her disappointment, but I’m sure it’s there.
Knox gets in the driver's seat and Carter slides in beside me.
Gazing at Heather's face, my chest squeezes painfully. Her eyes have a faraway, lost look to them. The normal vibrant hue is a paler shade of blue now.
“Baby. Are you okay?”
Heather blinks several times as if she’s clearing her vision and raises her eyes to mine.
“Do you think I’m evil? The kind of bad that can’t be fixed? I mean-“
She takes a deep breath before releasing it slowly.
“Maybe I was always going to be evil. Do you think sometimes people are just born bad and no matter how they fight the end result is still the same? Like Ted Bundy or John Wayne Gacy? I’ve killed as many people as Bundy. I’m a serial killer too. The worst of the worst.”
I make a fist and stroke my knuckles over her cheek, fighting the fury traveling through me. Every time I hear her talk about herself in a negative light, anger bubbles up in my chest. Knowing these ideas were planted by her so-called family only makes it worse.
“Listen to me, Killer. You were not born bad, and you’re not evil now either. Bundy and Gacy killed innocent people. The men you’ve ended are far from innocent. They are rapists, child abusers, the most vile human beings to exist. I guarantee you have saved far more lives than you have taken.”
Both of my brothers watch me cautiously as I continue.
“You are good, baby. So fucking good. Because of you, we got sixty children out tonight. When we add to that the twelve visibly pregnant girls, it’s even more.
Those are children who will never experience what you did.
I know you were joking earlier, but it’s true, baby.
You are an angel. Our sweet, perfect angel.
A woman who always puts others' needs ahead of her own. You are not evil. They are, and they’ve convinced you that you’re the same.
Nothing could be further from the truth.
You cannot control what you’re born into. It doesn’t define you.”
Tears fall down her cheeks, mingling with the dried blood from her kills. It’s beautiful. She’s beautiful.
Carter reaches over and strokes the back of her neck.
“Deep down, you know Killian is right. Destroying evil does not make you like them, Little Heathen. It makes you better than them.”
Knox speaks up from the front seat as he drives.
“Do you actually feel bad for killing those scum?”
“No. I guess that’s what makes me evil. When I’m killing people, I feel a thrill—elation. Afterwards, I don’t regret it. I would do it again. I look at the blood on my hands and don’t feel a thing, but know I probably should.”
Knox pulls up to the house, parks the SUV, and opens the door for me. I carry her into the house, straight to the large en-suite bathroom, and set her on her feet. After I turn on the water for her, I make my way to the door when I hear the panic in her voice.
“Don’t leave me alone. Please don’t leave me by myself.”
Turning around, I walk back to her. Grabbing the hem of her shirt on either side, I lift it over her head and toss it on the floor behind me.
I reach into her pocket and grab the container of crosses and set them on the counter before undoing her pants and lowering them over her hips, letting them fall to the floor.
“Stay with me.” She whispers, her eyes staring into mine, filled with desperation.
“I’m not going anywhere, baby. If you need me here with you, that's where I’ll be.”
After removing her bra and panties, I remove my clothing as she watches me, her eyes darkening slightly with need.
Lifting her into my arms and stepping into the open shower, I set her on her feet in front of the shower head.
Pulling the knife out of her hair I toss it across from the shower into the sink.
She closes her eyes and tilts her head back into the water.
Once her hair is sufficiently wet, I pour shampoo into my palm and wash it gently.
I massage her scalp, eliciting a sweet moan from her lips.
“That feels good.”
I tilt her head back again, rinsing the suds from her hair. Once it’s done I grab the body wash and pour it into my palm and stare at her seeking permission. It’s clear she’s upset, so I’m being more careful than usual.
“Can I wash you, baby?”
She nods her consent. I start by cleansing her hands before moving to her arms. When I drop to my knees in front of her, to wash between her legs, I nearly die from the beautiful whimper escaping from her delicate little throat.
“Killian.”
I rise to my feet and rinse her off before turning her around and doing the same with her backside.
Stopping momentarily, I run my fingers over my name on her ass.
It’s only four letters, but it's monumental. She wanted me to do this to her. Heather wanted my name on her body. This is what acceptance looks like. How can she think for a second that she could be evil? Forgiveness is an act of love. It’s good in its purest form. Everything she is.