Retribution (Anthem River)

Chapter 10

Chapter

Ten

K ade tried to tamp down on his anxiety as Ram drove them to the club. He was regretting his decision to go tonight, but he really didn’t want to be away from Ram for any amount of time, just the thought made him break out in a cold sweat. He had a feeling tonight would be exhausting. Not only did he have to socialize with other people he had to share Ram’s attention and that thought alone pissed him off. This was a very bad idea.

“We’re here. You ready for this?” Ram asked, gently grabbing Kade’s hand and kissing the scarred knuckles. He could sense Kade’s unease and didn’t want to do anything to push the man faster than he was ready for.

“As I’ll ever be,” Kade mumbled. He really didn’t want to make his Daddy feel bad for having to be here tonight so he tried to slap a smile on his face.

Ram shook his head sadly. “I know you don’t wanna be here baby, and I understand that. The event is only going to last an hour and I’ll see if we can head out earlier okay?” He could understand Kade’s change of heart about coming with him, and he wished he could have told Daemon he was not going to be able to make it, but he was needed with one of the other Daddies out with the flu.

“I’ll be fine.” Kade assured him. He really hoped he wasn’t lying, he hoped like hell he wouldn’t have a panic attack while he was there. He didn’t want to embarrass Ram.

Ram’s brows furrowed. “Mercy, you are uncomfortable and I won’t tolerate you lying to me to spare my feelings. Do I make myself clear?” His tone was firm and biting.

Oh shit , Daddy brought out the first name. “Yes, Daddy,” Kade said quietly. His heart sank into his stomach, he hated making Ram upset and he tried to fight against the tears that burned his eyelids. He was already fucking this up, he knew it was too good to be true, he’d do nothing but end up pushing Ram away.

Ram wanted to kick himself. He saw Kade fold in on himself and the sheen of tears in his eyes before he closed them. Fuck, he would have to remember to go easy on his baby, he was so desperate for praise and any slight, like a raised voice, would literally feel like a slap to him. He roughly squeezed the back of Kade’s neck, not to hurt but to ground him. “I’m not mad at you baby or disappointed, I just don’t want you to lie to me. Okay?” He caressed Kade’s cheek with his thumb.

Kade swallowed hard and nodded. He desperately wanted to touch Ram but he didn’t know if he’d be allowed. He’d love nothing more than to crawl over the console and into the man’s lap.

“Good boy.” He caressed Kade’s hair and watched his baby light up. “Now let’s go get this over with, I wanna go home and snuggle with my boy.” He was happy Kade waited on him to get to his side of the truck before he tried to get out. He always loved when his boy waited on him, he didn’t really know why but it always made him happy. He easily let Valk out of the back and slipped his guide harness over his head and buckled it before setting the handle in Kade’s hand. “Do you want to take my elbow?” While it was new for him not to hold a boy’s hand walking into the club, as he’d brought some other boys here to play, as long as Kade was touching him in some form or another he was fine. He knew Kade would want to walk in as composed as he could but he really wanted to touch him, and he had a feeling Kade needed to be touched just as much if not more.

Kade nodded as he took a few deep breaths to steel himself for what was about to come. The first thing he noticed was the noise and the different shades of brightness flashing across what was left of his vision. Thankfully the noise wasn’t too loud and was a soothing mix of bagpipes and strings, easing his frayed nerves. “What are the lights from?” He couldn’t figure it out, all he could think of would be a rainbow colored disco ball but the lights were too low to the ground to be one.

“Are they bothering you?” Ram demanded, immediately putting himself in front of Kade to block out the light from hitting him. He looked around to see if he could see Daemon so he could ask him to turn it off.

Kade shook his head. “No, I just can’t figure out where they’re coming from.” They were soothing to be honest, and he couldn’t ever remember having felt that way about lights before.

“It’s a small projector flashing the galaxy,” Ram told him, grinning when Kade’s face brightened. It seemed his boy liked that.

“Really?” Kade asked excitedly. “My neighbor had one when I was a kid. I used to look at the stars for hours.” Space had fascinated him when he’d been a kid and he’d always hoped he would be abducted by aliens. It had to be better than the life he was living at that point.

Somehow that fact didn’t surprise Ram in the least. Whether Kade wanted to admit it or not, he had a childlike quality about him at times. He knew his boy’s childhood had been hell but he was glad there had been at least a few moments of peace during that hard time. “Looks like we’ll need to get one for your apartment. It also plays music and white noise, maybe it’ll help you sleep better especially if I’m not around.” He’d have to think of some ways to help Kade stay on track on the nights he would have to work, but he was on morning rotation for a few weeks at the vet clinic so he’d have time to come up with some.

Kade nodded as he cocked his head. “It’s very soothing.” He really enjoyed the sound.

Before Ram could reply, he smiled at the man who joined them. “Hey Ronin.” He shook the man’s hand. He was surprised to see him here tonight. Ronin had been injured in a roadside bomb during his time in the service and most of his body including his face was scarred because of it, he hated to say it but some of the littles that came in were scared of the big man. Ronin was a total teddy bear but add his height and how big he was plus the scars and yeah he was the boogeyman.

“Ram how’s it going? Who’s this?” Ronin raised a scarred brow at Kade, and wiggled them at Ram. Ronin knew he was a Daddy but he’d never just assume with anyone he didn’t know.

Ram chuckled. “This is my partner Kade, Kade this is my friend Ronin.” He knew Ronin would understand what he meant by partner but he also knew the man would respect his wording and not push. The man was a Daddy himself and could understand the desire to protect a boy.

Kade tensed a little but stuck his hand out. The deep gravelly voice that had greeted them had come from above meaning the man was taller than both him and Ram. The size difference always made him a little nervous because he couldn’t see a threat coming.

Ronin easily took in the dog and the dark sunglasses on Kade’s face and understood. Ram had always had a thing for damaged boys. He shook Kade’s hand firmly, noting the surprise on Kade’s face. He could understand, just because a person was scarred didn’t mean you had to treat them like they were made of glass.

“You and Ronin have a lot in common, Kade,” Ram told him softly. “You both served and you both got hurt over there.”

Kade immediately relaxed knowing he wouldn’t have to explain himself to the man. “It’s nice to meet you.” Being around someone who understood took a load off his shoulders, he couldn’t explain it but it was also nice to be around someone else like him, whether they spoke to each other or not.

Ronin grinned crookedly. “You too.” Kade shook his hand just as hard.

“Not that I’m not happy as hell to see you, but what are you doing here?” Ram asked. It was very unusual for Ronin to be here on Little’s night. He felt for the man, he had no idea how he would deal with it if he was in Ronin’s shoes. The man was a Daddy through and through and now he terrified the Littles, seeing the hurt on Ronin’s face always made his heart clench.

“Daemon asked me to chaperone tonight, so basically I’ll be hiding in the corner hoping none of the Little’s see me and freak out.” Ronin chuckled. He wouldn’t lie, it used to bother and hurt him anytime a boy or little would see him and immediately get scared, he’d never hurt anyone, but he could understand that he scared people with how scarred up he was. He’d learned to deal with it as the years passed but he’d never want to willingly put himself in a position to terrify people just based on his looks ever again.

Kade looked towards Ram confused. He had no idea what the man was talking about, it almost sounded like an inside joke and he felt a little left out not knowing why.

“Roadside bomb,” Ronin told him, seeing Kade was confused.

Kade winced, then gestured to his eyes. “POW,” he grated out. He felt it was only fair the man shared his story, he could man up and share his.

Ronin grimaced. “Damn.” He’d gotten off easy compared to Kade, while the initial blast hadn’t hurt because he’d been in shock he was only in pain for short periods of time, otherwise he was so doped up he’d thought he was Wolverine.

Ram grinned. It was fascinating to watch Kade and Ronin together, all they spoke with was short sentences and grunts, it was like he got two old grandpas together and expected them to bond. “Ronin, would you mind hanging out with Kade while I go get things ready, I think it’ll be easier for you baby.” He squeezed Kade’s hand.

Kade nodded, he knew Ram wasn’t saying he couldn’t be by himself or that he didn’t want Kade with him, but he was giving him the opportunity to connect with a man that shared a similar story. “If you’re up for it.” Kade cocked his head in Ronin’s direction.

“Hell yeah, we’ll be in the back corner Ram. I’ll warn you before I leave.” Ronin assured Ram, he could see the man was a little uncomfortable at leaving his boy, and that Kade was a little stiff at being in a new place so he would take the extra steps to reassure both parties. Ram waited to make sure Kade was okay with it before he nodded, clapped Ronin on the shoulder and kissed Kade on the cheek before he left them alone.

“Tell me if I’m wrong but I’m sensing some special forces vibes from you. What’s your dog’s name?” Ronin asked Kade as they sat down at a booth. He stretched out his long legs making sure not to kick Kade or the dog in the process

Kade chuckled. “Yes, Force Recon. His name is Valkyrie or Valk for short.”

Ronin whistled. “I was SWCC myself. He’s a beauty, you mind if I pet him?” He could see the DO NOT TOUCH patch it big, bright, bold letters all over Valk’s harness.

Kade rolled his eyes. “Should have known you were a fucking seaman. Yeah go ahead, he’d love the attention.”

Ronin laughed as he scratched Valk behind his ears, making him groan in delight. “Tried to join the Marines, but I showed more things like intelligence and common sense than they liked so I was better suited for the Navy,” he said cheerfully.

Kade grinned. “Nice little jab.” Kade liked the man, he reminded him a lot of his brothers.

Ronin snorted. “Thought you’d like that.” He was glad he was able to tease Kade, some military men took the rivalry way too seriously.

“I’m surprised you were able to join the Navy considering you’re taller than me and I’m six-five.” Kade raised a brow, there was a height limit in most branches, granted he didn’t pay much attention to them as he was able to get in and that was all he was worried about.

Ronin chuckled. “I was six-one when I joined the Navy at seventeen, hit a growth spurt at twenty and they just decided I could still do my job so I stayed in, even re-upped a few times. No better family I’ve found than the brothers I served with.” It was true the men you served with became your family whether you liked it or not.

Kade nodded. “I agree. That’s why I hired all mine when I started my business.”

“That’s awesome man, what do you do?” Ronin asked. He had a new respect for Kade knowing he hired his brothers when they got out. It was hard as a soldier to come back home, especially if they were trained in Special Forces. Coming back home was like pulling a fish out of water and expecting it to live. It was a sink or swim situation and sadly a lot of his brothers hadn’t been able to hold their heads up above water. Give them a job and a target to eliminate and they were happy as could be. Send them back home to a family that has continued to live without them for years, new people and maybe even a new house, without his brothers and there was a strong chance they wouldn’t make it.

“I own and run Clairvoyant Sight Investigations. We mainly deal with things that the police can’t, we also provide support to the boys overseas. All my men were once Special Forces or have some type of extra training,” Kade said, but stopped and cocked his head as he heard footsteps approaching.

“Hey Ronin, I just wanted to come by and see if you or your guest wanted anything to drink or eat?” A sweet timid voice asked hesitantly.

The sweet voice put Kade at ease.

Ronin smiled softly at the twink, Josie was a good boy and one of the only ones there that wasn’t afraid of him. “He’s actually Ram’s guest sweetie, I’m just keeping him company.”

“Oh.” Josie looked at Kade in shock before he noticed Valk and his eyes got huge. “Um… that’s a big ass dog,” he blurted then winced, that had been extremely rude.

Kade snorted. He wasn’t offended, Valk got that reaction a lot. It was one thing to have a service dog, it was another to have one that weighed almost two hundred pounds.

“Language boy,” Ronin growled, enjoying watching Josie’s face turn pink. Josie was always fun to play with, but sadly they didn’t have the same tastes and sometimes he just needed something a little different, but he was so glad Josie still interacted with him. He really was a sweet boy and one day he’d make a Daddy very happy.

“Sorry Sir, he surprised me. I won’t do it again,” Josie promised quickly. He’d felt Ronin’s hand on his backside more than once for his language and it wasn’t something he wanted to repeat often. He’d actually wanted to see if Ronin was up to playing tonight but he could see by the man’s posture the answer would be no. He wondered what had happened. He’d been with Ronin several times, they had done several scenes, but lately he either never showed up or when he did all he wanted to do was sit in the corner and drink. He was always good to him though and always let him down easy and sometimes would even sit with him for hours just cuddling him when he’d had a bad day.

“I’ll have a coke and some chips please. Kade, you want anything?” Ronin asked, still smiling softly at the young man.

“Same please,” Kade murmured. He didn’t know how to feel at this point, it was obvious Ronin and the boy knew each other, and he didn’t want the man to think he had to sit there and babysit him.

“Coming right up,” Josie said happily as he darted away to grab their orders.

“You can go play with him you know, I appreciate you talking with me but I am a big boy who can be alone for a while,” Kade told him, grinning. He knew Ram was uneasy about leaving him alone but as long as he wasn’t the main attraction and could blend into the background he was fine.

Ronin snorted. “I get that.” He sighed deeply, “He’s a fun little firecracker, but I’m not here to play tonight.” He felt a pang of sadness, he honestly didn’t know if he’d ever play again.

Kade nodded. “So what’s happening tonight?” He wouldn’t push, he hated when people did that to him, so he’d give Ronin the out he needed.

Ronin tapped the table as he looked over as the doors opened and several littles came bounding through followed by their exasperated Daddies. “Daddy and Little night, basically a big play date. There’s a bouncy house, coloring, makeup and a bunch of stuffies.”

Kade could hear the longing in the other man’s voice. “You’re a Daddy aren’t you?” he asked softly. He didn’t want to inadvertently trigger the man but he could tell Ronin wanted to be over there with all the chaos he could hear.

Ronin chuckled. “Well, I was I guess, I don’t play a lot anymore.” Wasn’t like it was his fucking choice either.

Kade’s brows furrowed in confusion. “Why not?” If Ram was friends with him he knew he had to be a good man. He didn’t think Ram would allow Kade around him if he wasn’t.

Ronin took a deep breath. It was definitely refreshing to talk to someone who couldn’t see him, he’d almost forgotten what he looked like. “During the blast shrapnel tore up through the floor of the humvee, it tore up most of my body including my face. The scars scare the littles.” Just saying the words hurt. Like he was being torn open all over again. Not only did he lose life as he knew it, now he had to deal with chronic pain and his whole body was disfigured.

Kade grunted, upset on his new friends behalf. “That’s bullshit, you can’t help it.” While being in a younger headspace would be different he couldn’t believe the littles here would base Ronin’s ability to be their Daddy on his looks. While yes looks were important to some people, to judge someone based on something that happened to them without their consent or something they couldn’t help was a little fucked up.

Ronin smiled sadly. “I know man, just like they can’t help their reactions. It used to bug the shit out of me but at this point it’s a part of my life and I’ve come to terms with having to give up something I love.” He really hadn’t but he sounded so grown up and shit when he said it like that.

Kade nodded. “You should meet one of my brothers. His name is Levi, he’s a double amputee, lost both legs right below the knee.” Speaking of his brother made him smile. He missed the fucker and made a note to check on him soon.

Ronin shook his head in sympathy. “Damn, is he doing okay?” One of his brothers had to have his legs amputated and he’d eaten his gun as soon as he was left alone.

Kade nodded but paused when Josie came back with their drinks and bags of chips. “Thank you,” he said softly. When he heard the man leave he continued, “Yes, he’s doing much better; he actually lives with Bram and Sanem. They seem to be able to keep him from going down and Ram is training a dog for him, like Valk. I hope it helps him.”

Ronin laughed. “And how is that firecracker of a woman?” He fucking love Sanem. She was the only woman besides his mother he’d ever loved, and she made it so worth it. Bram was a fucking lucky man to have her.

Kade smiled. “She’s good. She’s enjoying having someone to take care of.” He chuckled to himself. She really wanted to take care of him, but he’d bought himself some time by throwing Levi under the bus.

Ronin snickered. “Oh, I bet she just loves you.” He knew she’d love nothing more than to sink her hands of love into Kade. Sanem always thrived when she had someone to care for, that was why she’d had so many kids, and after Bram had had his heart attack she was all over him too, making sure he didn’t push himself. He couldn’t tell if he felt sorry or happy for Bram for that.

Kade rubbed the back of his neck as he felt his cheeks heat. “My parents were shit and I joined the military to get away from them. Sanem has made it her mission to show me what a mother’s love is supposed to feel like. I don’t know how I feel about that yet.”

Ronin grunted. “She’s an amazing woman, and yes given the chance she’ll smother you with love, but she also has the uncanny ability to know when it’s too much. She’s an amazing woman who just loves to adopt anyone she sees that hasn’t had the best time in life.”

Kade nodded. “How long have you known Ram?” he asked as he opened his drink and chips. He was curious if the man would tell him more about Ram when he was younger, how he became the man he is today.

“Years. He joined the scene before I did and helped me train to be a dominant, but as I grew older I leaned more towards being a softer Dom and Ram introduced me to other Daddies and helped me get my sea legs on to care for a boy.” Ronin smiled at the memories as he shoved a handful of chips into his mouth, he’d missed dinner to get here on time and he was a big boy he needed the fuel. “Ram was like a force to be reckoned with when I met him. He was always the first person all the littles or subs went to when they arrived each night and he always made each feel like they were special. Learning from him was amazing, he was so patient and understanding and willing to jump in if I was uncertain about doing a new technique or trying something new. I remember one time I was learning to use a flogger, and he’d switched me from a two tail to an eight tail. It brought the blood to the surface very quickly and honestly freaked me the fuck out, you had to swing it a certain way or you could seriously damage the skin. He could tell I was uncomfortable and showed me the correct way to flick my wrist. I sent that sub flying that night and I’ll always appreciate him for showing me things I never knew existed.”

Kade grinned. “That sounds like him.” Ram was definitely one of a kind. A man you didn’t find a lot of in this day and age, and he was so fucking proud to call Ram his.

“How did you two meet?” Ronin asked, he could tell Kade was a ‘something’ in the community but he didn’t know what, especially when Ram wasn’t near him, and would respect his privacy and not bring it up, but he could see why Ram was smitten with the man in front of him.

“Saint,” Kade mumbled, his mouth full, before he swallowed. “I served with Saint and we are still friends, apparently Ram has had a thing for me for a couple years.” He pouted a little, making Ronin cough to smother his laughter. “He tore down my defenses, the bastard,” he mumbled. “We haven’t been together long but…” He shook his head. To be honest he was still fucking shocked at the turn of events. He’d had a thing for Ram for years and then all of a sudden BOOM he had Ram and everything he’d ever wanted. It was a little overwhelming if he were being honest.

“It feels like you have?” Ronin asked. He could already see the love and bond between the two, and it was a thing of beauty. He couldn’t wait until they finally realized it themselves.

Kade cocked his head as he thought. “Yeah, I guess you could say that. It’s kinda intense. We have known of each other for years and have even spoken in passing but nothing like this.” He squirmed in his seat as he tried to process everything. He both wanted Ram to throw him down and fuck him and cuddle the shit out of him. He shoved a chip in his mouth, it was fucking weird.

Ronin saw Valk’s head pop over the table as he stared at his master. When Kade seemed to not notice Valk, the dog’s large paw landed heavily on Kade’s chest. When Kade still didn’t respond, Valk groaned in a way that made Ronin think this happened a lot.

Kade immediately looked down in the direction of his baby. “What’s wrong buddy?” He ruffled Valk’s ears as Valk groaned in pleasure.

“You good here for a few minutes? I want to make sure Ram doesn’t need help,” Ronin asked grinning as Kade turned into a goofy boy playing with his dog.

“Yeah I’m good, thanks Ronin.” Kade grinned at him.

Ronin gently grabbed Kade’s shoulder as he got up. “No problem buddy.”

Kade continued to rub Val’s ears for a few minutes before he felt another presence in the booth across from him. Knowing it wasn’t Ram, Ronin or Josie he tensed. “Can I help you?”

“No, continue to play with your dog, boy.”

The nasally tenor immediately made Kade wince and his shoulders straighten.

“I’m not a boy,” Kade said lying through his clenched teeth, but only Ram or Ronin was allowed to fucking call him that.

“Considering you’re at a Little’s night I doubt that, don’t lie to me.”

Kade grunted as he felt a sharp sting on his cheek. Had this man really just fucking slapped him.

“Sir he’s with someone else,” Josie said softly.

Kade could hear the fear and hesitation in the younger man’s voice as he stood up for him.

Josie swallowed thickly as Carver turned his dark beady eyes on him. No one liked Carver, he was the bottom of the totem pole type of man and just went around terrorizing young men. Playing himself off as a Daddy he was a sorry excuse for a human, but he hid behind his badge, like being a cop was his whole personality.

“Did I ask you?” Carver barked, causing Josie to jump.

“He didn’t have too. He’s telling you I’m here with someone else and I didn’t ask for nor do I want your attention.” He sat up straighter when the man moved. “And if you lay your hands on me again I will hurt you.” Kade heard the man snort.

“I just corrected your lack of manners,” Carver said conversationally.

“Well, considering I am not your partner and there was no conversation beforehand you had no right to touch me in any way. You need to apologize to Josie here because he’s doing what a good person does, that’s stand up for someone who’s being harassed. Let me make it clear since your simple brain can’t seem to process what I am saying. I do not want to even breathe the same air as you. I have a partner. No, I am not interested in you at all. The answer is no.” Kade could feel his anger and anxiety rising in tandem to each other. He knew coming tonight was a bad idea. “Josie go get Ram or Ronin please?” He could feel the man’s reluctance to leave him but thankfully he obeyed. Kade easily moved to the edge of the seat and stood. He was leaving, before things got too out of hand, he really didn’t want to have an episode here.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Carver demanded standing himself.

Kade raised a brow, and Valk moved in between him and Carver, like he could sense the man was making his master uncomfortable, and rumbled deep in his chest as a warning that the man was too close. Valk had been trained in crowd control and would warn anyone who got too close to his owner. Kade was confident in his ability to handle himself, it was just the waiting on the first strike or blow to come that always made him nervous.

Ram smiled gently at the young man who tapped his shoulder. “Hey Josie, how are you tonight?” The boy was a little flush, his eyes wet and his hands shaking.

“Hello sir, um… Kade needs you,” he blurted out and shrunk back a little when both Ram and Ronin shot to their feet.

“What’s going on?” Ram demanded, softly. He tried to keep his tone mild as Josie was a very sensitive man and with him hovering between big and little he didn’t want to hurt him.

Josie wrung his hands. “Carver sir, he slapped Kade.”

“Fuck,” Ronin growled.

Ram moved towards Kade and saw Carver grab his boy’s hair in a tight grip and yank his head back as he took off.