Retribution (Anthem River)

Chapter 12

Chapter

Twelve

R am moved around Kade’s apartment as he tried to settle his nerves. He was so fucking angry, how dare Carver think it was okay to harass any of the boys in the club. He had no idea what possessed Carver to target Kade, most of the other boys and littles knew to avoid the man, but Kade didn’t look like a stereotypical boy. His boy was tall, over six and a half feet tall, built like he was made for war and had the presence and attitude to back that up. Carver must have seen Valk’s vest and assumed Kade would be an easy target, or noticed how hauntingly beautiful Kade was. Ram grinned widely, the man had been in for a surprise messing with his boy. He needed to remember to call Josie tomorrow and make sure he was okay, he was so proud of the shy man for doing what he could to help, that definitely deserved a reward. He knew Josie had been intimidated, but he was so brave for standing up for his boy even though he’d been terrified. He sighed, yanking off his shirt and stripping off his pants as he stretched out on Kade’s extra long couch, thankful Kade had gotten a big couch as he couldn’t fit on the regular ones. He tossed one arm over his head as he settled into the couch for a long night without his boy, he had a feeling it was going to suck. He must have dozed off when he heard the first scream. Ram damn near fell on the floor in his haste to get to his feet and rush to the bedroom. Valk was on the bed doing his best to lay across Kade as he thrashed on the bed. “Kade, baby,” Ram said, keeping his voice soft but firm. He wanted to pull Kade out of the dream but he didn’t want to scare the shit out of him doing so. He stayed by the door and just softly called his boy’s name.

Kade could hear Ram’s voice but it sounded so far away, he couldn’t get to him and he couldn’t see him. The haze that was blocking his vision was terrifying, he couldn’t see anything.

Ram’s heart broke when he saw Kade’s arm shoot out in his direction, like he was looking for him, he desperately wanted to grab a hold of Kade but he didn’t want to make things worse. Kade had to come out of this on his own, but he’d be here when he did.

“No,” Kade groaned. “Run Batty.” He jerked, his arms and legs flailing about as he tried to get up, but he couldn’t seem to get his legs to work.

Ram shot forward grasping Kade’s hand in his own as he yanked his boy into his arms, Kade had gotten tangled in the sheets and was starting to hyperventilate. He pressed his lips to Kade’s ear and spoke. “Baby, I’m right here. Daddy is right here, baby I’ve got you, no one is going to hurt you while I’m here, do you understand me?”

“Batty,” Kade slurred, trying to get his eyes to open, even though he couldn’t see anymore; it was his way of letting Ram know he was listening to him. He had to hold onto Ram’s shoulders when his legs gave out.

“Right here, baby.” He firmly ran his one hand over Kade’s arms as he held him up, hoping the feeling would help bring Kade back to himself. He needed to engage with all of the five senses to help him come back to reality.

Kade grunted as he jerked back upright, his breathing fast and labored. “What time is it?” He really didn’t care about the time, he just wanted to hear Ram’s voice so he could focus on that and not the dream.

Ram’s brows furrowed as he looked over at the alarm clock. “Three a.m.”

Kade grunted, falling back into Ram and snuggling close. He wanted to sleep some more and now that his Daddy was here he could. He yawned loudly against Ram’s neck.

“You want me to stay in here, baby? Or go back to the couch?” Ram asked him, brushing his sweaty hair off his forehead and kissing his cheek.

“Here,” Kade murmured, he didn’t want to move from his position.

“Okay, hold on a minute.” Ram eased Kade back down on the bed and helped him roll to snuggle one of the pillows while he headed to the bathroom to grab a cool rag. He gently wiped Kade’s face and neck before he moved lower. He wanted to help ease Kade back to sleep and his body was hot to the touch, and he was covered in sweat and that would be gross when he woke back up. He settled in beside Kade, tossing the rag towards the bathroom, pulling his body back into his as he settled in to sleep.

Ram woke first and took the time to study Kade, he could imagine his boy was exhausted after last night and he once again wanted to smack himself. He shouldn’t have let Kade go to the club with him, Kade was pushing himself to embrace Ram’s world and that’s not how things usually worked. He sighed, he’d definitely be toning it way back for his boy and he had the perfect way to do so.

“Quit thinking so hard I’m trying to sleep, Batty,” Kade whined, shifting so he could snuggle deeper into Ram’s embrace.

Ram chuckled. “Sorry, baby.” He ran his fingers through Kade’s hair in apology. “I just had an idea for us, if you’re okay with it.” He tried to focus on what he was trying to say but Kade’s mouth was so close to his nipple and his warm breath blowing across it sent shivers down his spine. His nipples were very sensitive, he’d even come from just playing with them before.

Kade smacked his lips, not bothering to open his eyes. He really didn’t want to wake up. “What?” He had a feeling until Ram said what he had to say, Kade wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep.

“Well I’m on a week’s vacation starting Monday, because one of the other vets wanted more hours for researching things, I wanted to know if you wanted to spend that time with me?” Ram asked softly. He really wanted Kade to say yes, but he didn’t want his boy to feel like he was being pressured.

Kade’s brows furrowed. “What would we do?” A whole week? Yeah unless Ram was planning to fuck him over every available surface he had no idea how they would pass that time.

“Well, I’m going to be toning it way down on the Daddy thing…” Kade’s gasp cut him off. He really needed to stop scaring the shit out of Kade. He rolled his eyes at himself, he didn’t mean anything bad by it but of course his boy would automatically assume.

Kade’s eyes flew open in panic. “What? Why? What did I do?”

Ram pulled him close. “Nothing baby, nothing, you didn’t do anything wrong. I feel I just moved too fast. We need to get to know one another better, go over limits and just be together, without other’s input. I know we’ve talked about a few things in passing but we really need to hammer out the details and build our relationship more before we start adding other people into it or going out to places like the club.”

Kade relaxed into Ram, thankful he hadn’t done something to make the man leave. “Oh.” Jesus he’d almost given himself whiplash with how fast he’d moved.

“I was wondering if it would be possible for you to take that time off and stay with me for the whole week?” Ram asked. He laid back taking Kade with him as he waited for Kade to think things through. If there was one thing he knew about his boy it was that he didn’t like to just jump into things, he wanted there to be a plan in place.

“Like a trial period?” Kade asked, raising a brow.

Ram huffed out a laugh. “Kind of. I will take you anyway I can get you, but I would like to be able to have time to just get to know each other better. See if we mesh when we’re together for longer periods of time.”

Kade sucked in a deep breath, and let it out slowly. “I know Torres will jump at me taking the time off and we’re in between assignments, so yes. I can put him in charge for a week,” he grumbled.

Ram grinned. “I can feel you cringing about that idea.” His boy was so anal about his work.

Kade grimaced. “I’m a control freak. You should know this by now,” he mumbled.

Ram chuckled, kissing Kade’s forehead. “Oh, believe me baby, I do.” He’d known about that since Kade was deployed with Saint, he’d seen the way the man operated and how he’d reacted when someone messed with things he’d already put in place.

Kade smack Ram in the arm. “Don’t be insulting,” he grumbled. “What do you want to do now that we have a week to ourselves?”

“Well, I want to get to know you as a man, not just the stories I hear about you, but you, as you. The man you are today, I would love to learn more about your childhood, but I know that’s a hard subject so I won’t push on that, but anything you want to tell me I want to know. I would like to go on a date as well but that can wait until we have our feet under us. At this point I just want us to spend some time together and see if we’re gonna be okay when we’re around each other constantly.”

Kade nodded. “We are old and set in our ways.” It was true, he was very set about his things and his time.

Ram snorted. “Thank you for that vote of confidence, baby.” He knew Kade didn’t mean anything bad by it, but it was true they’d both been alone for so long they were used to it and adding another person into the mix could go really bad if they weren’t careful.

Kade grinned. “You’re welcome.” He sighed heavily. “Let me go call Torres and make sure nothing needs to be signed off on.”

Ram grinned, excitedly. “Thank you baby. I'll let Valk out and get started on the coffee.” He kissed Kade’s cheek before he got out of bed and headed towards the kitchen, where Valk was waiting patiently by the back door to be let out for his morning romp.

Kade had to take a few deep breaths to stave off his anxiety. He didn’t like change and he had no fucking clue what he was supposed to do with his days if work wasn’t involved. He really hoped Ram was serious when he said they’d spend all that time together because he didn’t want to be left alone with his thoughts. Work filled his days so he didn’t have to think and most nights he was too exhausted to think when he got home. He grabbed his phone from the nightstand and called Torres, thankfully he picked up on the second ring.

“Yo, Kade, what’s up?” Torres’ voice was bright and cheery.

Kade rolled his eyes, ever since the man had gotten with Leo he was a ball of sunshine, it was sickeningly sweet. “Is there anything that needs my immediate attention?”

Torres paused for a moment. “Not that I know of. The only case we have that’s overseas right now is the missing Marine and we’re still going through all the evidence… or the lack there of I should say.”

“Okay, I’ll be out of the office for at least a week. Don’t bother me unless it’s an emergency. Got it?” Kade asked pointedly, and could feel Torres’ wicked grin through the phone. “Shut the fuck up, Torres.”

“Oh, yeah sure thing, boss. You going to go on a long trip with your man?” Torres asked sweetly. He was so happy for Kade, the man really did need more in his life than just work, while he’d had his doubts about Ram at first he was happy to admit he’d been very wrong about the man. He made his brother happy and that was all he could ask for.

“I don’t know what we’re doing,” Kade answered honestly. He really hoped Ram would just tell him and not keep it a surprise, he’d make himself sick with anxiety if that were the case.

“Maybe he’ll fuck you, you need it you’re so uptight,” Torres said through his laughter.

Kade rolled his eyes. Leave to his friend to make this all about sex. He hung up without another word and shook his head. He really needed new friends.

“Hey baby,” Ram said softly when Kade joined him in the kitchen. He kissed Kade’s forehead as he handed him his coffee made just to the man’s liking, black with a drop of cream.

“Thank you,” Kade mumbled around his mug. God he fucking loved coffee and really wanted to pat the inventor on the back. “So what is your plan for the week?”

Ram was smiling softly at Kade as he watched the man pretty much make love to his mug. “Well I would like to start with getting to know each other better, like random things it doesn’t have to be deep. Maybe cuddle on the couch and watch a movie or listen to music. Then take Valk out for a walk, then order in for dinner.” He was just throwing things out there, he hoped once Kade relaxed a bit more that he’d offer his own suggestions on what they could do together.

Kade nodded, he was happy Ram suggested watching movies. He knew it was kind of weird for a blind person to watch movies but he always enjoyed it, and trying to imagine what was happening on screen was one of his favorite things to do. “Sounds good to me.” He set his empty mug down and looked towards Ram as he folded his arms over his chest and leaned back against the counter. “Is that the plan for the whole week?” He wasn’t necessarily upset about that fact but he’d really hoped they could get down to business and see if they were as compatible sexually as he knew they’d be. Hell he really just wanted to sleep with his man. Was that too much to ask? It had been too damn long and he wanted the intimacy that came with sex, which shocked the shit out of him considering his views on sex.

Ram smiled as he slid up against Kade’s body. “No, not for the whole week, but I think it’s best to start off slow and build the relationship. We’ve been doing pretty good, but I want to have an even stronger foundation before we move forward with anything else.” He kissed Kade’s forehead just to see the small smile tilt the man’s beautiful lips.

Kade’s brows furrowed. “So, no calling you Batty then?” He didn’t know why that hurt or why it even bothered him. It was just a word. But it was his term of endearment for Ram almost like he was caressing the man every time he said it, and he never thought he’d be in this position with another man.

“You can call me whatever you want to, baby,” Ram assured him. “That’s who I am to you so call me whatever you need to at any given moment.” He would never take that connection away from Kade. He really just wanted to learn more about his boy before they jumped in too deep, but he would always be there for Kade no matter what.

Kade nodded, relaxing slightly. He hated to admit it but he was nervous as hell for this next week. He’d been on his own for most of his life, and his failed relationship with Devin wasn’t anything like this. He was always gone on deployments or Devin was out partying when he was home, they had never officially lived together and really only met up when it was convenient for both of them, or when Devin stayed at his place when he was hurt.

Ram gently cupped Kade’s cheek. “What are you thinking about so hard?”

“I’ve never spent that amount of time with any one man, especially one I was interested in,” Kade told him truthfully. He felt like a fucking virgin on prom night.

“What about Devin?” Ram asked, confused. He’d assumed they had lived together for a while.

Kade shook his head. “We had our own apartments, he just liked to stay at mine sometimes, but I was usually gone when he did. I don’t count when I was hurt because I wasn’t really all there at the time, but that didn’t end well.” He shrugged, not that it would have ended well had Ram been in Devin’s place. Kade was an animal when he’d come home; he wouldn’t eat, wouldn’t drink, and he stayed in his bathtub for the first two months he’d been home. Afraid to leave the bathroom because he didn’t know what lay beyond the door. He’d still been reeling from losing his sight and all the new sounds and smells made him a nervous wreck. He’d spent the whole time waiting to get beaten or to hear the sounds of his men’s screams as they were tortured. That had been his captors favorite thing to do. Tie all of them up and torture one while the others watched. There was nothing like watching your brothers be shocked, whipped, and beaten. Seeing their bodies twitch and spasm knowing damn well there was nothing you could do.

“And you think this won’t end well?” Ram stated more than asked. He could see his boy was uneasy and worried about what was to come, and while he couldn’t blame Kade for his thoughts, after everything he had been through. It opened his eyes to see that this boy would be different than any other he’d had. “It’s okay baby, I know what you mean by that,” Ram assured Kade when he struggled to speak. “I won’t ever hold what you’re feeling against you, and I’m so proud you’ve told me. It’ll take time for me to be able to read you like I want, and so I do need you to tell me what you’re thinking and feeling okay? I don’t want to make a mistake and end up hurting both of us, okay?” He needed to remember Kade was still struggling from his time in captivity, hell he was still in therapy. Ram made a note to make Kade’s new appointment for this week since they’d missed the last one.

Kade nodded mutely. That made a lot of sense once he thought about it.

“Alright let’s eat some breakfast and then we can cuddle on the couch and talk. Does that sound good?” Ram asked, as he was already pulling things out to make some cinnamon toast. “Do you want to make the therapy appointment or do you want me to?”

“Yeah it does,” he grumbled. “I can make it,” Kade said like a petulant child as he leaned back against the counter and considered how his life was already changing. He shook his head and pulled his phone out of his pocket and called Justice. After he’d made the new appointment he just stood there, arms crossed as he stared off into space.

Ram smiled softly, and let Kade be while he made breakfast. He would never fault the man for having to zone out to process things, and he had given Kade a lot to process. After a few minutes he gently touched Kade’s arm. “Breakfast is ready.” He grinned when Kade followed him dutifully to the couch and settled in with his coffee. “Cinnamon toast, two pieces on your plate,” he said as he handed Kade his plate and watched as he set aside his coffee to dig in.

Kade thought about what all he wanted out of this new thing with Ram as he ate. He really didn’t want to be selfish but he wanted the man’s hands on him… like all the fucking time. He had no idea what to do with Ram when he was touching him and he didn’t want the man to think he didn’t want to reciprocate the pleasure he was given. He was sorely lacking in the love making department and he could own up to that no matter how embarrassing it was.

“What’s wrong baby?” Ram asked as he finished his food and set his plate aside.

Kade grunted as he finished his food, then let Ram take his plate to set aside with his. He sighed. “I’m obviously attracted to you.” He rolled his eyes at Ram’s chuckle. “I do want more of what you’ve done to me.” He could feel the blush rising in his cheeks. “But, I don’t want you to think I don’t want to reciprocate the pleasure you give me. I just have no idea what the fuck I’m doing.”

While most Daddies would try to stop their boys cussing, Ram found it endearing when Kade cussed, that meant he felt strongly about something. “You never did that with your ex?” He didn’t even want to say the man’s name anymore, if he ever saw that piece of shit again he didn’t know what he would do. The fact that he’d had Kade at all made the ball of rage in Ram’s stomach rumble with the urge for retribution.

“I mean… I know how to fuck, but that’s about it and with that I just followed instinct. We didn’t do foreplay or anything like that, and I have a feeling I’m gonna be the one on the receiving end this time around,” Kade mumbled, thankful his darker skin tone would hide his flaming cheeks. God this was embarrassing.

Ram cocked his head. “Just because I’m the Daddy doesn’t mean I have to top. I have no qualms about bottoming for you Kade, if that’s what you’d prefer.” He’d actually hoped Kade would be up for switching every now and then. Just because he was the more dominant in the relationship didn’t mean he always wanted to be the one on top in the bedroom, he’d always be in charge but he really wanted to have Kade fuck him senseless.

Kade’s head jerked up in shock. “What?” he asked skeptically. While he understood the roles weren’t always set in stone in every relationship he had not been expecting Ram to say that.

“Just because I’d bottom does not mean I wouldn’t still be in charge. If you want to bottom and that’s something you’re interested in or you want to explore that side of yourself we can, but you bottoming for me is not a requirement,” Ram explained as he shifted closer to Kade, throwing an arm around the man’s powerful shoulders.

“Have you ever bottomed?” Kade asked, confused. He had no idea if he would be any good and he didn’t want to hurt Ram in any way, he never cared if Devin enjoyed himself but if Ram didn’t that would honestly gut him.

Ram hummed his response. “Yes, I have. When I was training to be a Dom we had to submit for about twenty hours out of the whole ordeal. It wasn’t a requirement to bottom but I wanted to see what it felt like.”

“Oh.” Was all Kade could think to say. Now he was picturing Ram getting fucked and it was hot as fuck.

“Have you done anything to yourself?” Ram asked.

Kade shook his head. “No, I mean I was groped and a gun barrel ran over me back there but it never penetrated.” He’d honestly never had the time or inclination to try anything, jerking off in the showers was one thing but fucking yourself with something was a whole different story.

Ram blinked a few times trying to process what Kade had so casually blurted. “I’m sorry, what now?” The way Kade had said it so nonchalantly kind of worried Ram a little, it was almost like Kade was telling a story and hadn’t actually lived that traumatic event.

“Oh, uh.” Kade finally realized what he had said. “Nothing.” Fuck him sideways why did he have to say that out loud.

Ram tightened his arm around Kade when his boy tried to move away. “No, it’s not nothing, so please tell me what you’re talking about. If something traumatic happened with you in any type of submissive or bodily way I need to know about it. I don’t want to inadvertently trip a trigger.” He put a little bit of Daddy into his voice to ease Kade’s sudden nervousness. He didn’t want to force anything out of Kade before he was ready but there was no way in hell he was moving forward until he knew which triggers to avoid.

Kade swallowed hard. “It was the day we were captured, me and my men. We were taken to this cave system in the middle of the Hindu Kush.”

“The Hindu Kush?” Ram asked, confused, he’d heard of the name before but he was at a loss on what it had to do with the war.

“Yeah it’s a five-hundred mile mountain range in Central and South Asia, it’s sometimes also called the Afghan Mountains. We were taken to Falak Sar, it’s in Pakistan. It’s also the highest point in the Ushu Valley. There’s a cave system within the mountain that ISIS has been using to traffic things through,” Kade explained.

“Okay.” Was all Ram could say. Things were starting to make more sense and he adored his boy for trying to help him understand.

“When we were captured we were taken to a man called Aariz, he was basically the warden. We were strip searched and that’s when the threats of sodomy and torture started. I was obviously the guy in charge and they knew it, even though I wasn’t technically the leader all the men would turn to me and wait for orders, so they used me as an example. My men kept their mouths shut and just ignored them. We weren’t scared of torture or death. We’d trained for it, we knew it would be a possibility when we went on missions.” Kade leaned back into Ram’s chest as he spoke, taking comfort from the man.

“I can imagine you were still scared,” Ram said softly, laying his cheek on the top of Kade’s head and just basking in the feeling of holding his boy. He really enjoyed having Kade in his space whether he was touching Kade or not, as long as he was able to find that sycamore scent he was fine.

“Well, yeah but it was just the body’s way of self-preservation. There were many instances when we could have ended it all. It’s not like they left us in a storage room that didn’t have many things we could have used for a weapon.” Kade scoffed and shook his head.

“Why didn’t you?” Ram asked, trying to keep the confusion out of his voice. He didn’t really want to know the answer but he felt he would understand Kade’s drive and character if he knew.

“Seems like that would be the answer doesn’t it? But we didn’t know where we were or if there were others, we were trying to wait to see if we could find out any more information before we tried to escape. We were also hurt, so we took that time to heal up as best we could and save our strength. They didn’t feed us a lot, only on the days they tried to get information out of us.” Kade sighed. Sometimes he regretted not just ending it all but he couldn’t leave his men there alone to fight a battle that wasn’t even theirs.

“You were gone twenty-three months, why did you wait?” Ram asked gently. He didn’t really want to push if this was something Kade didn’t want to talk about.

“Keegan, one of my men, got shot by one of the guards and I wasn’t going to leave him behind. Conditions there were horrible so the healing process took way longer than normal.” He shook his head, that day had been one of the worst days they’d had there.

Kade tried to take shallow breaths through his teeth, the room was so pungent with feces and his own filth. His men sat with their backs against the wall as they waited for Kade to tell them what to do. He didn’t want to be in charge, it wasn’t his fucking job, but his team had decided he was the best one to follow. Did they not know he was at a loss? He didn’t know what the fuck to do? He was responsible for all their lives. What if he made a wrong choice? What if he couldn’t save them? He would gladly lay down his life for any of his brothers here and he knew if that were to happen they would scour the earth until they avenged his death. He paced the little room, ten paces forward and ten paces back, as he tried to come up with a way to get them all out of there safely. Keegan was already hurt and his wound seemed to be becoming septic, he needed to get them out of there now.

“Kade we know shit is gonna go down, we also know we might not make it,” Keegan gasped as he tried to speak only to cough from the dryness in his throat. “But I’d rather take that chance than stay here and wait to be tortured to death.

Before Kade could reply he heard footsteps heading towards them. He moved closer to his men just in case he needed to act as a distraction, when the heavy metal door swung open and Aariz and his sadistic guard Burok entered.

“We’re going to have some fun today gentlemen,” Aariz said in broken English as he smiled wickedly at them.

Keegan tried to get to his feet, stumbling a little from the weakness in his legs, when Burok shot him in the thigh.

Kade roared charging Burok as Keegan went down and his men rushed to grab him. He landed several gut punches, enjoying the sound of Burok’s grunts and pain filled moans as he battered the man to the floor.

“Grab him,” Aariz ordered.

Kade whirled when he felt a hand on his shoulder. Pain like he’d never known blinded him as his eyes felt like they were melting out of their sockets.

“Throw him in the pit. His friends will join him soon.”

That was the last thing Kade heard before the darkness took him and never left.