18. Kellen
Eighteen
Kellen
In the morning, I want to call Elizabeth.
I want to walk over to her house and kiss her again, to see if last night was a fluke or if I really am feeling this alive.
I wake up, peel off my night splint, cursing the ligaments in my old foot, and decide there’s no reason to sit alone in my house when she’s right there, across the street, likely drinking coffee while her son plays more video games.
I brew an extra cup and head across the street carrying two steaming mugs, tapping on the glass of her storm door carefully so I don’t spill.
This is unlike me, an uncalculated, unplanned move.
What if she’s not up yet. What if she is in her robe.
A million terrifying thoughts circulate as I wait on the porch until I hear the snick of the deadbolt being opened.
I grit my teeth until I see her face light up. “Kellen,” she whispers. She opens the door further. “Jake’s still in bed.”
“Oh. I hadn’t thought of that,” I admit, staring down at the coffee. “I just…would you want to drink a cup of coffee with me?”
She sets a mug of coffee down on the table inside the door.
Of course she had already made her own. I’m feeling ashamed of my rash choices, questioning my sanity, but she tugs my elbow.
“I’d love that. Mine’s gone cold, anyway,” she says, taking one of the mugs from me.
We make our way to the dining room, her thumping in the walking cast and me stepping gingerly on the gel inserts I’ve had to put in all my shoes.
I hadn’t considered my day past this moment, apart from kissing her again, so I sip my drink nervously, waiting to see if she’ll say something.
Her cheeks bloom with a beautiful pink, and I wonder if it’s the heat radiating from the drink or something more.
“I had a really nice time last night, Kellen,” she says.
She slides a hand across the table and grips mine.
I stare down at our entwined fingers. “That’s an understatement, Beth.
” She squeezes my hand. And then, like water over a dam, I just start talking to her.
“It’s been so damn long since I had these kinds of feelings, since I had this kind of wondering about a new person.
I…” I look over at her and she’s smiling.
Not a pitying type of smile, but a happy one. “You make me feel really alive,” I say, finally.
“That’s a really nice compliment, Kellen.
” She leans around the table and kisses my cheek.
She makes to lean back into her seat, but I snake an arm out and around her shoulders, pulling her closer.
I let go of the coffee mug and cup her chin, tipping her beautiful face up toward mine so I can kiss her mouth.
And then I keep on going. Yep, definitely alive.
I lose control of my faculties and am about to pull her into my lap, when she draws back. “I need to talk about…this.” She gestures between us.
My mouth snaps shut. As if she is reading my thoughts, she shakes her head.
“No, I mean, yes. I want to do this. I want to be physical with you, Kellen. God, I want to do that.” She blushes again, then swallows.
“But there are some mechanical obstacles. Logistics?” She shakes her head. “This is coming out wrong.”
“You can tell me,” I assure her. “I’m not going anywhere.” To emphasize my point, I put my sore foot up on another chair in her dining room. “I’m literally not going anywhere until I take some more ibuprofen.”
That gets a smile from her. “What I am trying to say is it’s been so long since I was intimate with anyone, and well, you know how old I am. We need to go slow is all.” Her eyes widen, a hopeful look on her face. “Really slow. With…penetration stuff.”
Understanding dawns on me. I tingle with embarrassment because I had not taken the time to consider what changes women must experience in that department.
I’m briefly struck by the thought that Helen never even got the chance to worry about that, but I push that aside and reach for Elizabeth’s hands.
“I’m good with that,” I tell her. “I just like being near you. I like how I feel when I’m with you, Beth. ”
She bites her lower lip. “Same, Kellen Brady.” I hear a stirring down the hall, the telltale signs of a teenager reluctantly getting out of bed.
I don’t know if it would be upsetting for Jake to come out and find me here, whether that would be so unexpected it would set him off. I stand. “Have dinner with me tonight again,” I say. “I’ll order in, or if there’s somewhere Jake likes we can go out.”
She stares down the hall, where we can hear him grumbling as he slams drawers open and closed. “Maybe Jake wants to visit my parents for a bit this evening,” she says. Then she grins at me. “That way we could…”
I nod. “I’d like that very much,” I tell her. I bend down to kiss her cheek and snatch the empty coffee mug from her hands. “My lady,” I say, saluting with the mug. “See you around…” I raise my eyebrows, waiting for her to fill in the time.
She sighs. “My parents eat at like 430,” she says. “They’re ridiculous. I’ll try to have Jake over there by then, so…” she drifts off. “Maybe we can do something before dinner, too?”
“We’re becoming a pair of regular early bird specials,” I say. “I’ll see what I can come up with.”
I emerge from her house to find Callum in the driveway, sweaty from a run, sliding underneath his Bronco. “Over for an early visit with your neighbor?” He stares at the two mugs in my hand, like he’s hoping to read more into that situation but can’t quite find a way to insinuate something untoward.
“You mind your business, young man,” I tell him. I squat next to the vehicle and peer underneath. “What have we got going on today?”