Benson
I was so exhausted that my exhaustion was exhausted. So exhausted that there needed to be a whole new term that covered more than exhausted.
Seriously, it was that bad.
I spent my whole day going and collecting King Rhys and Queen Amelia’s aides and advisors who had stolen from Sagan after her fucking parents died. A few of the staff that had quit, but there were two that had stayed and had stolen from her in the chaos.
The balls on people was not only astounding, but grotesque at times.
All of the fucking paperwork alone to make that all happen had taken me several nights. I had the authority as the head of the Queen’s Guard to order any arrest we had cause for and have them extradited to the capital where the queen was in charge.
But it wasn’t like I just picked up the phone to do that. Oh no, there was a process—justified so no one could abuse it, but a fucking process. Which was rarely ever used, so good there were checks and balances, but when I had to put over two dozen requests in—yes, I wanted to claw my eyes out.
And those people for stealing from Sagan. There was no pain deep enough for them. I was also annoyed that so many snakes were around the king and queen and they hadn’t done better. Seriously.
I was seeing more and more how often they had handicapped me from doing my job more than just blaming myself for not being ready.
Princess Treena’s head of security, Davian, was amazing in that realization.
He was part trainer and therapist. The trainer part was him saying how they did things in Bodach and realizing it was something I had wanted or suggested.
At least sixty percent of the changes we were making I had not just wanted but had proposed.
And it was standard in Bodach, but King Rhys had shut me down.
The therapist part was him listening about how badly that upset me. I’d tried my best, and the fact they were gone because of neglect and corruption under my nose—I would never get over that guilt.
The guilt of what the elders had pulled on Sagan and she’d suffered because of it. I would never recover from that.
And a lot of it was their damn fault.
That was my Wednesday.
Thursday, I sat for a deposition with Nerthus’s head prosecutor about what I’d witnessed from the elders. A few other things as well—all the statements that fell to the head of the Queen’s Guard.
Even how the former chief of police had behaved and threatened her.
When his questions turned to Kole Conley, I froze, making it clear I wanted an explanation before I would say anything.
“I’m considering filing criminal charges,” he admitted, nodding when my mouth fell open. “I’m not sure, but I want all of the information.”
“Why?” I asked suspiciously, knowing he’d already butted heads with Sagan and I didn’t like this change.
He let out a slow breath and turned towards the outside windows, staring out at Nerthus.
“I don’t like what this nation has shown itself to be because a woman has taken over.
Especially one so fierce who has been through a lot.
” He sighed and faced me. “And I realized I was part of the problem. I’d been dismissive of the drugs that bring on a dragon’s heat.
“But the queen is right and it’s rape if they didn’t consent to the illegal drug.
She made me see that I was—I thought I was better.
I thought I was more enlightened and—my mate laughed at me.
I went home and told her that I was pissed that the queen wouldn’t disclose who she endured the heat with and my mate fucking laughed at me for being a sexist pig. ”
“Not going to lie, I felt the same.”
He rubbed his face. “I’m not going to lie that yes, I wanted the answer, but not to be sexist or tell anyone.” He chuffed when I snorted. “I wanted to know if the queen—there are so many stories with her and now she’s my fucking boss. You don’t ever want to…”
I nodded. “I know her really well so yeah, there are some mysteries that even irk me, but trust me that we’re in better hands than we were.
If people will start pulling their heads out of their asses and see all the cracks we ignored, she’s way better.
” I held up my hand to hold him off. “I’m one of those people too.
I took too much for granted. Not anymore. ”
“Not anymore,” he agreed, seeming relieved that I could understand even as I judged him.
They weren’t mutually exclusive feelings.
“I will tell you everything, but I have to clear it with the queen before anything moves forward,” I told him firmly. “This might not be a fight she wants.”
“No, but it might be one she needs even if it doesn’t happen with that asshole in prison.”
I didn’t disagree, but I wouldn’t betray Sagan this way without talking to her first. He agreed to keep it all to himself until he saw if there was something to move on.
I told him all of it. How I’d stopped Kole from bitch-slapping Sagan, and while I thought that was the first time, it was clear it probably wasn’t the first time he’d been physical with her. I’d seen him roughly grab her after all.
The only thing I left out was the death threats. Sagan was clear she didn’t want that public, but I did tell him that he contacted her with threats after the lawsuit and she had to block him.
After all of that was a meeting with the squad leaders of the Queen’s Guard and the extra security helping us. Myriam had made changes and slashed my budget again, but then I saw it made sense given there was no more rush. It didn’t need to be extra hours and overtime.
It was now just hours and a job.
But it was always about the fucking budgets.
There had been issues with Myriam trying to cut the budget with the runway and one of the candidates, Ayao, who had been involved, had gotten annoyed she was micromanaging him.
He calmed down when she blasted that it seemed dragons had a habit of being liberal with the royal family’s money, but still there was tension.
Raquel had cut several budgets—food, staff hours… Though that made sense since they weren’t waiting hand and foot on the elders. Plus, Sagan was working on getting them better education and higher base wages so they didn’t need to put in so many extra hours.
And could go to school then.
But I still didn’t have permission to try and recruit new Queen’s Guards. Part of that was about security, but—I was missing something.
Something that was right there in front of me and I knew I could figure it out if I just had more rest.
“I’m so glad the queen is finally decorating her suite,” one of the castle staff said as I walked past. “How horrible must it have been that she didn’t even have a credit card in her name before and had to wait until all the accounts transferred from the king—” She snapped her mouth shut when her friend elbowed her and they both focused on me.
“Say that again,” I demanded as I moved closer. After some more pushing, the first one confessed that Sagan had been walking around with a newly issued white credit card and asked them for ideas about decorating her suite.
Like she hadn’t been able to before, not just she was busy.
“I understand the king and queen handled everything, but still even my daughter has an account in her name,” the woman said with annoyance.
“And she’s fifteen. The queen even admitted she didn’t know how to like shop because all she learned was infrastructure—I get very upset with her parents now that I understand things better. ”
“Me too,” I admitted. “We’ll take better care of her and make sure she has a home she’s safe in.”
“I think that would be great because she gave me a chance to go to school and I’ve always wanted that,” she rasped. “We have to give her a chance at a life she hasn’t had either. And fun.”
“We will,” I promised. “It was great you helped, just make sure others don’t find out.”
Her eyes went bug wide. “Oh, no, not ever.” She gestured between the two of them. “We were both there. We didn’t even tell Raquel. Could you imagine what people might say if they learned?”
The second one snorted. “Someone would be in the media spreading lies that the royal family was broke or something.”
They laughed like the idea was insane and made a few comments about how horrible the media was to Sagan before wishing me well and moving on. I nodded and tried my best to act normal because the reality of what I’d been missing hit me like a ton of bricks.
No, more like a whole mountain fell on my stupid ass.
It had been right in front of my face the whole fucking time. Every single sign was there from her calling in someone like Myriam Metcalf to—I’d missed it. I’d fucking missed it.
But for some reason, I still needed to hear it.
I caught her before our lunch meeting and told her I needed a few minutes in private, hopefully making everyone assume that something security-related had come up… And honestly, I didn’t know that it wasn’t the truth.
Because if the royal family was truly broke, that was a huge security issue and a massive fucking—everything. It was a massive fucking everything.
Darren wasn’t there yet and Fraser was still handling something for Sagan, so I pulled her into her father’s study and then further into the room so no one in the hallway could even overhear us. The what the fuck look she gave me would normally amuse me but not when things were so serious.
“Are you broke?” I whispered, trying to say it gently, but honestly the shock was too much for me and I couldn’t like wrap my fucking mind around it. “Don’t lie to me. It’s the only thing that fits—”
“Yes.”
“And I have been staring at this incomplete puzzle that has been driving me fucking crazy. But even thinking that the De la Rosas are broke is—”
“Yes.”
“Fucking insane. Like how could the royal family ever go broke when they own so much wealth and land and—it’s just not possible but—”
“Yes.”
“It’s the only thing that makes sense with what—what did you say?”