Chapter 18 Lily
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
LILY
I’d known the final year of my MA would be brutal, especially considering I needed to maintain my grades to keep my spot on my postgraduate, but I hadn’t realized how time-consuming it would be.
The girls and I found ourselves relying heavily on January and Aiysha to keep the podcast going.
Thankfully, audiences were loving my sister’s nutty dating antics and Sierra was still dating enough to share some of her own funny stories.
Maddie had started seeing someone six weeks ago and it had developed into a serious relationship.
His name was Shaun. He was a six-foot-two, rugby-playing Scot who seemed so reserved, I’d been shocked at the pairing.
However, the more I got to know him, the more his sly sense of humor came out.
Maddie always did love someone who could make her laugh.
I’d marvel at how she was managing to juggle it all, but then I was somehow still managing to see Sebastian every other day and text and talk with him daily.
By the time November rolled around, Sebastian had become the closest person in my life, and I think the feeling was mutual. Had my crush dissipated? Not even a wee bit. However, I think I’d finally made peace with the fact that ours would only ever be a great friendship and nothing more.
As busy as I was with work, friends, and avoiding my true feelings, when Beth told me she was bringing her new boyfriend to a big family Sunday dinner at her parents’, I knew I needed to be there to support her.
Beth’s boyfriend wasn’t just any bloke. He was Callan Keen.
If I was more into football, I’d have known who he was before I googled him.
Callan Keen, as it turned out, was only Scotland’s most famous football player and captain of Edinburgh team Caledonia United.
The relationship had started unconventionally (as in they were fake dating for reasons) but had turned into something real.
Beth introducing him to her parents was a big deal.
I don’t think she was expecting every member of our extended family to be there. Or for the dads (mine, Uncle Braden, Uncle Cam, Uncle Marco, Uncle Adam, Uncle Cole, and Uncle Logan) to surround Callan like a pack of wild dogs.
To be fair to Callan, he handled it with such cool affability, I think he impressed our overprotective fathers and uncles.
I hadn’t expected Beth and Callan to bring Caley United goalie Baird McMillan along with them.
If I hadn’t been so consumed with Sebastian and school, I might have developed a whopping crush on the goalie.
He was well over six foot, broad of shoulder, powerfully muscled, and we shared a similar dark coloring.
Baird’s longish dark hair was piled on top of his head in a messy man bun, and he had a neatly trimmed beard.
I had no time for crushing on the gregarious Scot who insinuated himself into the family like he’d known us for years. I left that to my wee sister. January eyed the goalie like she’d love a chance to fondle his footballs.
“I’m so glad you’re here,” Beth said as she sat next to me at the dining table. “Callan, this is Lily, one of the few sane members of my family. Lily, Callan.”
I laughed and reached out to shake the very attractive football player’s hand. Callan had the most beautiful green eyes I’d ever seen. “Thanks, and nice to meet you.”
He flashed me a handsome grin and shook my hand. “You too. I’ve heard your podcast. You’re funny.”
My cheeks heated. “I appreciate that, thanks.”
We chatted among ourselves, but Callan soon got pulled into conversation with Beth’s brother Luke.
Baird seemed to have recognized my sister’s interest and for whatever reason decided to avoid her.
Instead, he pissed off all the men flirting with our mothers and then flirted outrageously with Beth’s brother Luke, which did not go down well with Luke’s boyfriend Afonso.
“Is he bi?” I’d asked Beth quietly.
She laughed, shaking her head. “No. He’s just a big flirt.”
“Afonso is going to kill him.”
“He should kill Luke.” Beth frowned at her brother. “He’s the one flirting back.”
“To be fair, Luke is a Caley United fan and Baird McMillan is flirting with him.”
My cousin chuckled, shaking her head as she turned from the drama unfolding at the end of the table. “What’s going on with you? How’s uni? My last year was such a bitch.”
“It is a lot of work,” I agreed, tired merely thinking about it.
“I feel guilty. I’m getting my cut from the ad sponsorship for the podcast, but I’m not on it nearly as much as everyone else.
” I needed the money, however. It covered my rent and bills.
Sierra, Maddie, and I took turns editing each episode, so I was still pulling my weight in that respect … but the guilt remained.
Beth frowned in thought. “Lily, you helped build it into what it is. It was a fun dating advice show when I started it. You’ve turned it into a real place of commiseration and consolation.
You make people feel seen and not alone.
That’s incredibly important. You might have taken a step back, but that doesn’t erase what you’ve achieved. ”
I loved my cousin. There was no bigger cheerleader on the planet than Beth Carmichael. “Thank you for saying that.”
“So … any other news? That guy on your Instagram is awfully familiar,” she teased.
I assumed she referred to the photo of Sebastian I’d posted.
He wasn’t alone in it. The photo was of me, him, Harry, and Juno.
Juno came up again last weekend and we got a bit tipsy at Sebastian’s flat and played board games like eight-year-olds.
Zac had snapped the shot of the three of us trying to tear cards out of Sebastian’s hand as he laughed uproariously.
It was a wonderful photo, and I’d asked Zac for it.
Funny how Beth zoomed in on Sebastian and not Harry.
“Which one?” I played coy.
She wrinkled her nose at me. “The tall blond who I met before the summer.”
With a huff, I replied, “We’re just friends. He’s commitment phobic and I’m not looking for anything casual.”
“Shame. He’s delicious.”
Don’t remind me.
Beth was soon pulled into conversation with Baird, and I was left to my own thoughts.
I glanced around the table at my large family, at our parents who all were tight knit, close, still obnoxiously in love.
Maybe it was growing up surrounded by the kind of love you only read about that made me believe I’d eventually find it too.
Maybe it was reading all those romance novels.
Maybe it had given me a false sense of hope and optimism.
It suddenly occurred to me that I could end up being the person in our family whose love was unrequited.
Love.
Pfft.
I waved off the thought.
I was not in love.
I’d find my person. I would! It just wasn’t going to be Sebastian Thorne.
My attention shifted to Callan and my curiosity sparked.
He’d been staring at Beth earlier with longing and affection.
Now his expression was completely blank.
He didn’t look at anyone, instead stared into his glass.
He was giving off very weird vibes. It was like he’d disappeared inside himself.
I looked over at Beth to see if she’d noticed there was something wrong with her boyfriend, but Baird was monopolizing her attention.
I glanced around and noted my aunt Joss’s focus on Callan. She watched him with taut features as if she knew something I didn’t. Had something happened while I wasn’t looking? I hoped not. Beth seemed so happy. The happiest I’d ever seen her.
When Callan excused himself before dessert, I watched curiously as Aunt Joss followed him out of the room. They were both gone for a wee while and Beth left the kitchen to check on them.
“You’re Lily, right?” Baird asked once Beth had disappeared between us.
My cheeks heated. I might not be interested in the goalie, but my goodness, he was attractive. He flashed me a white-toothed, cocky smile. “I am.”
“Baird.” He gestured to himself.
“I know.”
“So, is your family part of some weird experiment?”
I frowned. “What do you mean?”
“You’re all gorgeous. If I wasn’t so good-looking myself, I might feel like a melted welly in comparison.”
Chuckling at his charming nonsense and that he’d basically called me gorgeous, I blushed inwardly. “Something in the water, I guess.”
“You’re the podcaster?”
“I am.”
“You know if you’re looking for fresh material, I am ready and willing.” He spread his arms as if to say, “Here I am, come get me.”
I almost choked on a swallow of water.
“No,” a gruff voice said from behind me.
Baird peered past me as I turned to find Uncle Cole glowering at Baird. Uncle Cole was Aunt Jo’s younger brother. He was also over six feet, covered in tattoos, and a judo champion.
Oh, and extremely overprotective.
“No?” Baird quirked an eyebrow.
“No, as in look at Lily again and I’ll end you, mate.”
“Fair enough. I respect that.” Baird was completely unfazed by the threat in Uncle Cole’s voice. In fact, he leaned past me, eyes on the sleeve of artwork on Uncle Cole’s left arm. “Like the ink. I thought mine was good, but the art … man. Where did you get it done?”
“I’m part owner of INKarnate. The tattoo studio in Leith. I’m one of the artists.”
What he didn’t say was that he’d won a ton of awards over the years for his tattoo artwork.
“No way!” Baird was so loud, I eased right back so he could talk to Cole. “I pass that place all the time. Fuck. I should have gone to you last time.”
Just like that Uncle Cole relaxed, and they started chatting over me. Men were weird.
“Why haven’t you two gone Instagram official?” The loud question came from January. It did the job of quieting Baird and Cole. Baird relaxed in his seat, giving me my personal space back.
I groaned softly when I realized January had asked this question of Beth and Callan, who had returned to the kitchen with Joss.
“Jan,” Beth huffed. “You don’t just ask people that.”
“Why not?” My sister crossed her arms over her chest. “You’ve been in the tabloids. Callan has two hundred thousand followers, and a lot of the comments are people drooling over your man, Beth. You should claim him.”
Saying preposterous things like that made Jan very popular on Seek and You Shall Find. Saying it in real life … I groaned loudly. “You read too many MC romance books.”
Beth laughed as Jan shot me a dirty look. Then my cousin turned to her partner, who seemed much more relaxed than he had before he’d left the kitchen. “Why aren’t we Instagram official?”
“I’m letting you lead the way. We can post our relationship on socials if you want. I’m quite happy to let the world know you’re mine.”
An ache spread across my chest at the romantic words. Everything drowned out around me as I stared at Beth and Callan.
I’m quite happy to let the world know you’re mine.
It was the reminder I needed, even if it was slightly painful.
Perhaps there was a tiny part of me holding out hope for Sebastian to become more.
But it had been almost two months of close friendship.
If something was going to happen, it would have already.
And I shouldn’t hang around for someone who didn’t want to shout from the rooftops that I was his and he was mine.