Chapter 44 - Lily
CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR
LILY
The awareness of a warm, heavy weight filtered into my consciousness and my eyes flew open in a sudden panic.
My muscles locked for a moment as I stared up at my bedroom ceiling and then lowered my gaze. It took me a second to process what I was seeing but once the sleepy fog lifted, I relaxed into the mattress and pillow beneath me.
Sebastian.
I remembered stirring awake in the middle of the night to find him spooning me. He’d murmured at me to go back to sleep.
Now Sebastian sprawled over me, pinning me to the bed. His face nuzzled against my breasts, one of his legs tangled between mine, and while one arm rested near my face, the other was tucked around my waist as if he was holding me close even in sleep.
As adorable as waking to find my boyfriend with his face buried in my boobs was, he was kind of heavy.
I stroked my fingers through his thick, blond hair, possessive tenderness my overarching emotion.
Yesterday, I’d ended up writing in a study cubicle after returning the study room key to a gloating, smug mother who was delighted her revenge had worked so well.
Sebastian had texted that he had a meeting with his advisor, but he’d try to come over to mine afterward.
I had to put him off because I’d promised the girls I’d do a podcast episode.
People wanted to know what had happened to make me storm out.
Now rumors were flying about Sebastian and his declaration of love in my psych lecture, and the girls wanted me to address them.
Sebastian hadn’t told his parents or his family about us yet, and since his family wasn’t a “normal” family, I didn’t want to go public about our relationship.
Instead, I agreed to do the episode but only to assure our audience I was fine, Jan and I were good, and that some personal stress had gotten to me. The girls weren’t entirely happy with that (surprise, surprise, neither was our audience), but I wasn’t ready to share more details.
Sebastian and I needed time to acclimate to our relationship without inviting the whole world into it.
I mean, I knew he kind of had by making it so public, but I assumed he hadn’t thought about the ramifications of that beyond trying to get me to listen to him and making a grand gesture to win back my affection.
I needed to discuss it with him first.
End of story.
By the time I’d gotten home, I had a voice note from Sebastian to say Juno and Leona had a massive fight and he was hanging out with Juno for a bit until Leona returned to the flat. I’d gotten on with a little more work until my eyelids started to drift closed.
Maddie must have let Sebastian into the flat after I’d gone to bed.
I stroked his hair, trying to decide whether his heaviness was worth the loveliness of having him sleeping on me.
The decision was taken from me when his lashes fluttered.
He dopily blinked a few times and his cheek pushed deeper against one of my boobs.
I’d gone to bed in a cropped T-shirt that fully covered my breasts, but I was also braless underneath it.
I made a wee noise of amusement as his eyebrow rose in question.
We locked eyes and his expression relaxed into such awe and tenderness, my amusement was taken over by affection.
He lifted his head, studying my face before ogling my chest. “Well, this is a very nice way to wake up.”
“Aye, apparently you zero in on my boobs even when you’re unconscious.”
Sebastian’s laugh was low and husky with sleep as he slid his hand up my waist to cup my breast. “Who can blame me? They are spectacular. And very comfy.” His brow drew together. “I can’t remember the last time I had such a good sleep.”
“Me too.” My fingers drifted from his hair down his cheek.
That’s when I felt the subtle change in his body. A tension. I studied him carefully as his gaze lowered and glazed over slightly. He looked abruptly … lost.
Maybe even a wee bit afraid.
Venturing a guess as to why, I wanted to do nothing but reassure him. I caressed him, bringing my other arm up to smooth over his shoulder. “You know, all those old feelings don’t just disappear overnight.”
Sebastian’s eyes flew to mine, surprised. “How did you know what I was thinking?”
Glad my insight had been on point, I brought my knee up so I could tighten my thigh around him, attempting to cocoon him in every way I could.
“I feel like I know you better than I know myself. Feelings as big as you had about Lawrence, about yourself, they don’t just disappear because you’ve decided to work through them.
It’s a process. But I’m here, Sebastian.
Anytime you start to feel the pull of those dark thoughts …
tell me. And I’ll remind you why you deserve all the happiness in the world. ”
Sebastian suddenly moved, bracing himself over me and in doing so nudging his hardening cock between my legs. His voice was thick with emotion and need. “Do you know how much I love you, Lily Sawyer?”
My hands fell to his waist as I bent my other leg, shifting my hips, urging him closer as heady desire warmed through me. “I have an inkling.”
He kissed me, uncaring we’d just awoken from sleep. Too needy to care.
All my usual overthinking flew out the window when it was just me and Sebastian.
By the time he broke the kiss, I gasped for air, my lips tingling.
I barely had a chance to catch my breath when Sebastian undressed me, hauling my tee off, urging my pajama shorts and underwear down my legs.
Then he was shoving out of his boxers and T-shirt, throwing them on the floor beside the jeans, boots, and sweater he’d discarded last night.
“I’m on the pill,” I informed him on a rushed whisper as I shivered and trembled with want.
Sebastian was in the middle of pulling a condom out of his jeans pocket.
He glanced back at me, his features taut with lust. He let out a harsh pant.
“Fuck, you don’t even know how much I want to take you bare …
but …” He winced. “I should get a health check first. I haven’t …
I haven’t been with anyone since last summer, but I also haven’t been checked since last winter. ”
Damn.
What was I thinking?
I should have been the one to bring that up before ever suggesting we not use a condom. It was true, then. Falling in love had officially made me stupid.
I gave him a sheepish smile, grateful to him for having my best interests in mind. “Then after we both get checked.”
“For damn sure,” he agreed, dropping the condom on the pillow beside me.
“What are—”
“Let me take care of you first.”
I curled my fingers in his hair, kissing him back like I needed his kiss to breathe. A hand slipped between my legs. His thumb circled my clit, and I whimpered into his mouth. Sebastian took over the kiss while I sighed and panted and murmured his name, my hips pushing into his touch.
My thighs trembled.
My abdomen tightened.
Sebastian’s thumb slicked over me and I was close. So close. “Lily, my love,” he murmured against my lips, “do you know how good you feel? How tight? How hot?” He groaned and rested his forehead against my chest. “So wet. So ready.”
I didn’t want to bloat his ego by telling him it usually took a lot more work than this to get me to this point. Magical pheromones, indeed. Or I loved him in a way I’d never loved a man, and it made all the difference. Probably both.
Easing his fingers from me, Sebastian moved down my body. “Spread,” he demanded in that posh accent. The incongruity of an accent that embodied British politeness with his crude command made my belly clench.
Sebastian made a guttural noise of desire seconds before his tongue touched my clit.
Need slammed through me, and I undulated against his mouth. His fingers dug into my thigh, and his groan vibrated through me.
He suckled my clit, and I panted as beautiful tension built deep inside me. His tongue circled and then slid down in a dirty voracious lick before pushing inside me.
I cried out, as I climbed higher and higher toward climax.
Feeling my desperation, Sebastian returned to my clit and gently pushed two fingers inside me.
It was like an explosion, the sensational release sliding through me as I shuddered against Sebastian’s mouth.
Sebastian wiped his lips against my thigh and the slight roughness of his unshaven cheeks rasped deliciously against my skin. I trembled in the aftermath of climax, holding his smoldering gaze.
“Tell me you love me,” he demanded.
Surprise shot through me. “Sebastian …”
He waited.
The words stuck in my throat.
His jaw set with a ferocious hunger. “By the time I’m done with you, Sawyer, you’re going to scream those three little words for me.”
My pulse leapt at the vow.
He moved upward over me. “I can’t believe I spent God knows how long with my face buried between these gorgeous tits, completely unaware.”
I chuckled throatily, arching my back in instinct.
My nipples peaked and my breasts were swollen with want of attention.
But his touch wasn’t greedy. It was loving as Sebastian trailed his fingertips with excruciating slowness across my collarbone and down toward the rise of my breasts.
His cock was hard and hot against my leg, the tip wet with precum.
“Sebastian.”
Gently, he cupped my face in his hands and kissed me so deeply, I could taste myself.
This time his kiss was slower and filled with so much love, it brought tears to my eyes.
My hands curled around his biceps, feeling his strength, his adoration, and those three important words pushed their way up from inside the depths of my soul.