Chapter 21 Maia
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
MAIA
An hour later, I was cursing my contacts and wishing I could rub at my bleary eyes from looking at my computer screen so intently. My optician had told me I needed to take a ten-minute screen break every twenty minutes, but it was difficult to put that into practice.
My phone, however, made an alert tone that was different from texts and social media notifications. When I first became friends with Baird, I’d set a search alert on my phone for Caledonia United. Anytime there was Caley FC news, I knew about it.
Miserable and unsettled by the encounter with Baird, I reached for my phone to check the alert and then I froze.
CALEY UNITED PLAYER INJURED IN TRAINING
I clicked on the news article, my heart racing as I read that Freddie Dalguise, the youngest player on the team, had suffered a head injury in training that morning. He’d been rushed to hospital with a concussion but had been discharged and was recovering.
Slumping in my chair, I saw Baird’s face in my mind again. That wild flare in his eyes this afternoon suddenly made so much sense.
“Shit,” I muttered, feeling terrible that I hadn’t pushed him more. I’d let my hurt feelings get the better of me when I should’ve known the last time Baird acted like this level of arsehole was only weeks after his own head injury.
I’d thought these past few weeks meant he was moving on. That he was dealing with what happened to him.
But I had just been a distraction from it.
Until Freddie reminded Baird.
Heart rate increasing with worry, I hit Baird’s name on my contact list, but his phone went straight to voicemail. I tried again. Straight to voicemail.
Shit, shit, shit.
Tapping on my screen, I brought up his main socials and searched for his profile. Once I was on it, I saw he had a new story. I clicked on it, hoping it would reassure me about his whereabouts.
It did not.
There were a number of new stories added in the last twenty minutes.
Baird was at a racing circuit. With his motorbike.
“Of course he is,” I huffed in concerned aggravation.
We were back here again. Would the drinking and partying follow suit? The women?
Chest aching, I tried calling him again. When there was nothing, I left a voicemail. “Bear, it’s me. Please call me. It’s important.”
By the time I got home from work, Baird still hadn’t called me back. I didn’t want to phone again and look like a crazy stalker, but after checking his socials and finding no more stories, I started to get a pit in my stomach. I’d barely been able to eat dinner, I was so unsettled.
Later, as I took out my contacts and washed my face, readying for bed, I went from worried to seriously pissed off. Was this punishment for my behavior this week? Or did I not even factor in? Was I not even a thought in his mind right now?
My phone blared from the pocket of my joggers, and I startled. Quickly drying my hands first, I reached for it. It was Baird’s sister.
Fear catapulted through me, and I fumbled to answer. “Ainsley?”
“Maia, thank goodness.” She let out an irritated exhale. “Baird just called me. He asked me to pick him up from A&E because he came off his stupid bike at a racing circuit.”
My stomach churned. “Is he okay?”
“Other than being a fucking moron, aye, he’s fine. Hurt his ankle. Bike is wrecked. Twat. I’m so mad at him! I thought we were over this kamikaze phase.”
“I thought so too.”
“I’ve tried talking to him. Mum’s tried.”
“So have I.”
“Well, I need you to try harder, Maia. You are the only one he will listen to.”
“Ainsley—”
“I’m in Inverness right now for a design job.
I can’t pick him up, and his phone is running out of charge, so I told him I’d call John to pick him up.
I’m not calling John. Those idiots enable one another.
I know you don’t have a car, My, but can you jump in a taxi to go get him? He’ll listen to you.”
I winced, feeling terrible and like an utter failure. “I’ve tried. Believe me, he doesn’t listen to me.”
“Then make him listen. Even if you have to be cruel to be kind. Because I am done waiting for another call that my wee bro is in hospital. I can’t go through what Mum and I went through last year.”
Tears burned my eyes because I’d never heard Ainsley sound so vulnerable, so upset. She was kind of a female version of Baird but edgier.
“I’ll do what I can.”
“That’s all I ask. You … you have more influence than you know with him, Maia.” Ainsley hung up.
I stared into the mirror. I was in my sloppy, lounging-around-the-flat clothes, hair in a messy bun, makeup off with my glasses on. Yet there was no time to put on a face or contacts in.
This was me. For once I didn’t have time to care about my usual “armor.”
I was too worried, confused, and pissed off.
I decided this was the version of me Baird McMillan deserved to see right now.
“Will you say something?” Baird pleaded as I parked the borrowed car next to his in the private car park in Dean Village.
Dusk was turning to night. I’d picked up Baird half an hour ago from A&E. He’d been somewhat shocked to see me behind the wheel of my stepmum’s car. Dad and Grace lived ten minutes from the hospital, so I’d gotten an Uber there and she’d let me borrow the car. I’d return it in the morning.
Dad had wanted to accompany me, but I’d told them we’d be okay.
However, I found myself unable to speak to Baird I was that freaking angry with him.
He’d limped his way into the vehicle and tried to ask me why I’d shown up, where was John, what was going on …
I didn’t speak.
I couldn’t.
Because I might throttle him.
Pushing out of the car, I rounded it to help him, but Baird had already unfolded his large body and was closing the passenger door.
Shooting him a filthy look, I gestured for him to let us into his flat.
Baird happened to live in the coolest apartment I’d ever seen.
Dean Village was medieval and among the most beautiful spots in the city.
It was set down by the Water of Leith, an eclectic mix of Victorian and Tudor-style buildings.
Baird’s was an iconic nineteenth-century building perched on the banks of the water.
“Maia?” He gave me a pleading look as he let me into the flat, all signs of the arrogant, cocky avoider from earlier gone.
I still didn’t say a word as I walked into his apartment and stood in the middle of the cavernous main living space.
Once a social hall, the building had been split into flats, and Baird’s was the largest and most unique.
The main space was cathedral-like, with ceilings so high it barely felt residential.
The period windows had been retained, as had the gigantic, tiled fireplace on the west end of the room.
Rows of windows on either side gave away its historic use.
Baird had tried to make the space homey with the help of Ainsley’s keen designer eye.
Dramatically long curtains hung at every window, a twelve-seater dining table down one side near the fireplace, and a large corner sofa with chairs situated around a coffee table, all pointing at a large television screen beyond the dining table.
On the east end of the room was a stylish kitchen with a six-seater marble island. A mezzanine bedroom sat on a mounted base above the kitchen. A glass balustrade was the only thing between the bedroom and the hall.
No privacy, but epic design. A doorway on either side of the kitchen led up winding, narrow staircases to two more bedrooms. I knew because one time when we had movie night, I’d been too tired to travel home, so I’d stayed in one of his guest rooms.
Will was seriously pissed off I’d stayed over, so I never did that again.
“For fuck’s sake, Maia, talk to me.” Baird threw his keys on the coffee table. “The silent treatment is driving me crazy.”
“You have more influence with him than you know, Maia.”
Bolstered by Ainsley’s confidence, I crossed my arms over my chest to singe him with my fiery gaze. “I’m driving you crazy? I’m not the one who needed picking up from A&E!”
He gestured to his bandage-wrapped right ankle. His leg was also covered in bruises and road rash because he’d been wearing those stupid chino shorts while arsing around on a motorbike at high speed. “It’s just a sprain.”
“Oh, yeah, well, explain that to your gaffer.” I shook my head at him. “What’s next, Baird? Partying, drugs, and women too? Are we back here again so soon?”
His dark eyes flashed, and he pointed a finger at me. “Don’t. I told you I wouldn’t do that shit and I meant it. It fucks me off you’d even think that.”
“It fucks me off that you could have been killed tonight.”
Baird’s expression turned boyish and pleading. “My, it was just a wee accident.”
“Aye? Or did you go out and do the most moronic thing you could think of doing because Freddie got injured in training today?”
I watched him freeze, his expression turning wary and distant.
I hated that look. It was so not Baird.
My shoulders slumped and I took a step toward him, my tone placating. “Bear … you need to deal with this. You need to face the fact that you’re not dealing with how much last year’s injury impacted you.”
That muscle in his jaw ticked, the sudden ice chips in his eyes warning me off. “My therapist cleared me.”
“Was that before or after you started doing life-endangering bullshit just to prove you’re not terrified?” I asked, my tone gentle.
He flinched and then scoffed. It was an ugly, grating sound. “Me?” He took a limping step toward me. “I’m not the one who’s terrified, My. I’m not the one who pushes anyone away who gets close. Who actually got engaged to a guy because he wasn’t interested in getting close to her.”
His words were like a punch to the gut. “Baird.”
“I live, babe. You just exist.”