Chapter Fifteen #3
“You should come,” I said. Dex leaned against the doorframe, seeming impossibly open for the first time, as if he’d taken down every wall and booby trap since we split off to our own rooms an hour ago. “You know it by name.”
“It’s not a one-night-only thing,” he pointed out. I bit my lip, glancing down the hall to where Phoebe was waiting, texting with a small smile.
“Was this you?” I couldn’t bring myself to look at him. “I heard you guys in the car. Did you suggest this as a way for her to be nicer to me?”
“No,” he said. Grudgingly, I met his gaze and something inside my chest constricted under that softness, like I’d found myself standing in quicksand. “Her idea of nice was getting you a Twinkie at the gas station.”
“I have a thing about snack cakes, so that was nice.”
“Vi.” He smiled, the corners of his eyes crinkling. I couldn’t breathe. “Go hang out with your sister.”
“I’ve had nine months of hanging out with my sister,” I reminded him.
He tilted his head, eyes practically scoring my skin. “Not really.”
Not like this, he meant, with Phoebe happy and willing. So much of her enthusiasm over the course of our trip was sparked by Dex, but tonight she’d planned around me. The two of us. He didn’t want to intrude and the simple kindness had me melting.
I sent another glance Phoebe’s way—so engrossed in her phone, she wouldn’t notice if someone knocked her down the stairs—and then stepped into Dex, pressing a chaste kiss to his sandpaper cheek. He sucked in a breath, stilling, and when I pulled back, his eyes were shut.
“You’re sweet,” I whispered, taking a shuffling step backward so I wouldn’t twine my fingers in his shirt. He swallowed, keeping his eyes shut. “Who would’ve thought?”
“Don’t tell anybody,” he murmured. “It’ll ruin my street cred.”
“The street cred you acquired at Chicago gay bars?”
An impish smile tugged at the corner of his mouth and his eyes slid open, so full and bright I had to wonder if we were on the same page, somehow. If he was feeling this too. “My reputation among Chicago gay bars is impeccable,” he said. “They love a six-one bisexual over there.”
Dex held things so close to the chest, every snippet of information he offered was deliberate, thoroughly examined from every angle.
He only told people what he wanted them to know.
His honesty felt like more than trust. I wanted to explore this feeling, dig my fingers in and figure our relationship out once and for all, but Phoebe’s voice broke through the moment.
“Can we hurry this up? I wanna see a meteor.”
Regret, or something close to it, flickered in Dex’s eyes. I took an unsteady breath and another step backward. “Are you sure you don’t want to come?”
He jerked his chin in Phoebe’s direction. “Go.”
I tore myself away, a little bit dizzy, and met Phoebe at the end of the hall. She pocketed her phone, eyes narrow as they zipped over my shoulder to Dex.
“Were you guys talking about me?”
I forced a smile. “Of course. You are the center of the universe.”
She wrinkled her nose at me and swept around the corner to the staircase. I hesitated, casting a glance over my shoulder to Dex; when our eyes met, his throat worked, but he remained in the doorway, a hand braced against the frame.
You make me want to be an optimist, he’d said.
I couldn’t pretend anymore. Whatever this was existed solidly between us, taking up too much space—we needed to clear the air, really talk about what happened in the elevator and how we felt about it because pretending it had never happened wasn’t better.
I wanted him. It was pretty clear he wanted me. We had to discuss what it meant.
Just not tonight.
Phoebe and I made our way outside, a warm breeze curling around us as we collected a blanket from Dex’s car and laid it out on the lawn, watching the sun slice a strip of deep orange into the sky overhead.
The shadows crept in slowly, overtaking the rest of the daylight.
Stars burst forth like pinpricks in the darkness.
Out here, the sky was so clear and open, I was sure I’d never seen so much of it at once.
As we waited, Phoebe started telling me about more of her new friends from the Sequest server.
About something funny that happened during cross-country a month ago.
About how she woke up in the middle of the night and couldn’t get back to sleep so she and Dex played Mario Kart on their phones, texting each other insults when the other won.
Maybe it was easier for her to talk under the veil of night, or maybe she really was doing better and more willing to let me in as a result.
I’d take it either way. It wouldn’t matter if we didn’t see a single meteor—I’d be fine listening to my sister’s voice for the rest of the night.
Some time later, when we did see one streak across the sky, Phoebe gasped and grabbed onto my arm, shaking me with excitement.
So much had been taken from us, so much we willingly let go.
Now, though, Phoebe scooted closer to me, vibrating with anticipation, and we kept our eyes on the sky waiting for another meteor.
There was no guarantee we’d see one, but I had a good feeling.