Chapter Twelve #2
My appetite was coming back, and I hoped I’d be well enough to ride out with Oscar and Trick tomorrow. I’d had some willow bark tea when I’d woke this morning, and the residual pain was still manageable hours later.
The girls and I ate cinnamon rolls, and they told me stories about their business and how funny it could be at times.
They said a lot of the men that came to them didn’t know anything about giving a woman pleasure.
Some of them didn’t even know a woman could get pleasure from sex.
Miss June’s girls figured ’twas in the public interest for them to teach these men a thing or two, if the men wanted to learn.
They said most of them did catch on, even though the main reason for their visit was their own enjoyment.
The usual technique was to get them off quick one time, then show them how they could pleasure their wives, get them all randy again, convince them to practice their skills and voila !
That girl could get her own as well. ’Twas clever and no doubt ended up delaying the departure of the man in question and earned the girl more money, as well as providing some much-needed education.
I didn’t know too much about women, but I did know they could get as much pleasure from sex as a man.
And I supposed, now that I thought back on it, ’twas a whore who’d taught me that.
I hadn’t told Miss June or her girls that I’d been in the habit of paying for these kinds of services back when I’d run with them outlaws, but I doubt they would have been surprised if I had told them.
Things got to a point for most men who weren’t married or involved with someone, who got tired of bringing themselves off with their own hand and were driven to search out a proper tumbling—and pay for it, if necessary.
Of course, knowing I was firmly with Oscar and not looking for anything else must have seemed like a challenge to some of them girls.
I couldn’t count the number of times a peignoir fell open or a girl’s tits got close to my face, all through innocent means, of course.
But I did catch a few sly looks, and I figured these girls didn’t get to have much fun. Why shouldn’t they try to tempt me?
But all I could think about was Oscar, and the way he’d looked in the peignoir and frilly panties when Cal and Trick had dressed him up for me.
Cal was such a nice person—funny and sweet and witty.
I only hoped we could find her and help her if she needed it.
When I’d first met her, I’d thought she was a young man only dressed in women’s things.
But after talking to her, I learned that Cal thought of herself as a woman and dressed accordingly when she could.
And the folks that knew her accepted this without argument, for they could see the truth of it, and it made sense to them.
If Cal was in some kind of trouble, we needed to find her. I only hoped that, if Oscar and Trick didn’t find her today, I could help them search tomorrow.
I spent the morning reading, but after lunch I couldn’t stop fretting about all three of them. ’Twas frustrating lounging about like I was. I was a man of action, and even when things were quiet, I liked to keep busy—only I knew Miss June wanted me to rest.
Along about three o’clock or so, I tracked her down.
“How are you managing, Jimmy?” she asked, when I found her sewing a skirt in the kitchen, while Cook chopped vegetables and added them to a simmering pot on the iron stovetop.
“I’m feeling much better,” I said with hope and cheerfulness. “My side hardly hurts at all now. I think it’s healin’ up pretty good.”
“I do appreciate you following my instructions.”
When Miss June had examined the stitches this morning, she’d said the wound looked real good and was healing well, with no sign of infection.
She’d left it open to the air and made me promise to be careful not to rub it or bang against anything.
I still had to be careful, but she reckoned I was on the path to a good recovery.
“I imagine you’re wanting to go riding out with Oscar and Trick tomorrow.”
I blinked. This woman had a sixth sense.
“Well, yes, that is what I wanted to talk to you about.”
She rested the skirt in her lap and gazed at me with some concern. “I suppose you can, but I want you to be careful. Don’t get into any scrapes or over-extend yourself.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Maybe the three of you can go out for a few hours tomorrow, rather than the whole day.”
“Sure. But we need to find Cal. I reckon I can manage for a bit longer than that.”
She narrowed her eyes at me. “Jimmy, you want to heal and avoid an infection, or else you’ll be in worse trouble and so will Cal. She needs you in fine form.”
I nodded. “All right. That’s true.”
Miss June gave me a kind smile. “I am so grateful to you for coming. It makes me feel less anxious to have Oscar and Trick out looking for Cal, and if you’re with them, why, she’s sure to be found.”
“I hope so.”
I didn’t remind Miss June that Cal could be anywhere—that she could have left the region entirely. But I reckoned Miss June was well aware of that possibility and was trying to be optimistic.
“Was it hard to leave Port Essington?” she asked.
“Yes, ma’am. We’d barely finished building our house.”
“Oh, Jimmy! I’m so sorry.”
“It’s not your fault. We needed to be here for you and Cal.
There weren’t no way around that. If you hadn’t sent that letter and we’d found out later that something terrible had happened, ‘twould have been hard…real hard. At least, this way we can do somethin’.
E’en if it comes to nought, we’ll know we tried.
” We gazed at each other, considering all the possibilities.
“Oscar might not be alive if not for you and your girls. I can never repay you for the help you gave us.”
Miss June’s breath hitched. “You repay me every day that you do right by Oscar and make a loving and safe home to call your own.”
Emotion rose in me, and I couldn’t speak, so I only nodded, blinking my eyes to hold it back. Miss June must have noticed, because she stood, put aside the skirt she was sewing and stepped forward, opening her arms to me.
In that moment, I missed both my momma and Irene so bad it hurt, and I moved easily into Miss June’s embrace. She held me close and firm, and rubbed my back like I was four years old and had lost my pet dog.
I clutched her to me, squeezed my eyes shut and tried to breathe.
I wasn’t gonna cry. Even though I knew ’twould be all right, that I was safe here and that she wouldn’t think less of me, I knew if I let the first sobs out, I’d be wailing like a babe in less than five seconds.
So I held on to my dignity and control, and focused on the comfort she was giving.
When I got a better grasp on myself, I pulled back, and she relaxed her grip.
“I keep thinkin’ God’s gonna take Oscar from me,” I said, before I even knew I was gonna speak.
Miss June took hold of my arms, and she gripped them with some ferocity.
“Why on Earth would you think that?”
“Because… Because of all the terrible things I did when I was helping them outlaws.” The words came out mumbled and thick, like I wasn’t aiming for her to make them out.
Miss June’s mouth pursed. “Did you do those things because you wanted to do them or because you were trapped into it?”
I took a deep, shuddering breath. “I did feel trapped, and like there was no other option. But maybe that ain’t true, and I just didn’t try hard enough to find one.”
“Here, sit down,” Miss June said, guiding me to the bench beside the dining table. “Now, you told me you were pretty young when you got involved in that life.”
“Yes, ma’am. I was around about fourteen.”
She gave me a kind look. “That’s pretty young. I’m sure the men in that gang knew how desperate you must have been, and they took advantage of that trust and yearning for adventure you might have had. Right?”
I nodded. “They did. But—”
“Jimmy, you were a child. Those men had no right to involve you in their evil-doing.”
“I was young enough to know right from wrong. Maybe I shouldn’t have gone with them. But…they fed me, and they talked me up, said I was big for my age, and I would make a valuable addition to their ‘company’. They were real nice at first.”
Miss June’s face showed sympathy and regret for what had happened to me. “I’m sure they were.”
I huffed out a laugh. “Once they had a hold on me, they stopped bein’ so nice.”
“That’s usually how it goes. I’m so sorry.”
Some tears squeezed out of the corners of my eyes, and I brushed them away with anger and frustration.
“I wanna do right by Oscar. I hope God knows that. I want to…make up for all the awful stuff by doin’ good things from now on.”
Miss June smiled. “That seems like a wonderful idea.”
“But every time Oscar’s outta my sight for longer than I like, I worry I ain’t ever gonna see him again. I can’t seem to help it.”
“I think that kind of worry comes with loving someone so much, and there isn’t a way to avoid it. But I don’t believe for a second that God would take that man from you as a punishment for your past deeds—not for a second. Not the God I believe in, anyway.”
Her words gave me comfort, and her steady hands on my arms gave me an anchor that I badly needed.
“Thank you.”
“I think that what happened to you with those men might be happening to Cal right now, except only with one man. But I have this awful feeling that his intentions are less than honorable.”
I looked at her with some curiosity because I wanted to hear more about this man that had stolen Cal’s delicate heart and might be doing terrible things to her right now—or making her do terrible things.
For the first time, I saw plain on Miss June’s face how truly worried she was.
“Oh, Jimmy. He seemed sincere at first, and he only ever had eyes for Cal. He knew what she was, and it didn’t seem to bother him at all.
He seemed to like her for who she was, in fact.
He treated her real well. He treated her…
like she wasn’t any different to the other girls, which was the only thing Cal had ever wanted from anyone. ”
“I see.”
“He brought her flowers—and sometimes jewelry. They struck up a friendship, then he seemed to be wooing her. Cal ate that up, as you can imagine. She was in heaven. I had my doubts by that time, but I didn’t let on because I didn’t want to ruin it. You know?”
“I know.”
“I wish I’d said something. I wish I’d cast some doubt on his intentions. But I didn’t know for sure that he was going to be wrong for her. And…and maybe my gut intuition is leading me astray even now. I don’t know.” She put a hand to her forehead, her face a picture of concern.
“I reckon you know the world well enough to have a pretty good sense of the truth of things.”
She huffed. “Sometimes I wish I didn’t.”
“I feel like…like Cal would have been back to check in by now, if things were goin’ well. E’en if it ain’t her husband’s fault, maybe they’re in some kind of trouble. Maybe they both need our help.”
“Maybe.”
“We’ll find her. Oscar and me, and Trick, we’ll find Cal. Don’t you worry.”
I didn’t have a clue if we would, to be honest, but I knew she needed to hear it. And we would do our very best to find Cal and make sure she was all right.