Chapter Twenty-Seven
The Truth
I moved forward and pulled him against me. His arms went around me, and he clutched at my jacket, like ’twas the only thing he had in his life that was sure.
“It’s okay. You don’t have to say,” I reassured him, wondering what had driven Cal to an act of such aggression, but knowing the ways of the world well enough to have an idea. I didn’t want to think about it, and neither did Peter, it seemed.
“Come on. Let’s go back to the others,” I said, holding out my hand. Peter let me walk him back to where Oscar was cleaning Lizzie’s dress with a wet handkerchief.
“See? ’Tis coming right out. Once this dries, nobody’ll be able to tell.”
“You’re right,” Lizzie said, tucking her chin to her chest in order to see the front of her dress. She gazed up at Oscar with adoring eyes. “Thank you.”
He straightened and flashed me a look. “’Tis nothin’,” he said, as Peter and I joined them.
Trick stood there watching with concern etched on her features. I left Peter with Lizzie and took Oscar and Trick aside.
“He ain’t ready to say why, but he said what Lizzie said was true. That Cal—that she…murdered her husband—their pa.”
“I knew Cal was hidin’ somethin’,” Trick said, as Peter brought Lizzie o’er. Seemed they didn’t want to be far from us, and I couldn’t blame them. “Never thought ’twas murder, though.”
I glanced at Peter and gave him a reassuring smile.
“I reckon she had a good reason for it,” Oscar murmured. “Seems the children think so.”
“Sure,” I said, keeping my voice low.
The children could hear, but I reckoned none of what we said would hurt them any more than they already had been.
“It explains why her husband ain’t around, and why her situation’s so desperate… She’s all alone with these children,” I said. “She ain’t got no help but us.”
“My pa was a terrible man,” Peter said.
We all turned to face him.
“Did he…did he beat you? You and Lizzie?” Oscar asked.
Peter’s face was red, and he’d curled his hands into fists. “No, sir.”
His answer was a surprise to all of us. Oscar was about to say something else, but I held up my hand to stay him as Peter continued speaking.
“Not with fists or his belt. But what he did was worse.”
Oscar leaned against the side of the building we were standing next to. “Worse?”
“He…our pa…” Peter looked to Lizzie, who was staring at him with wide eyes.
“He said terrible things to us…all the time. And to Momma. And at night, he’d pray out loud and ask God to save him from us because we were evil, Momma was leading him astray and he didn’t know what to do about us.
He said we were… He said we were all full of sin—even the baby—and that God would punish us. ”
Lizzie covered her ears as she snugged up against Peter.
“But Momma? She told us that wasn’t true, that our pa was troubled and we weren’t to believe the things he said. Only ’twas hard, because he was always sayin’ it, and lookin’ at us and at Momma like we had the devil in us.”
“You call Caliope your momma. Did your pa make you?”
“Yes, sir, he did. He said she was our momma now. That’s the only good thing our pa ever did was bring Momma to us.”
“What happened to the momma who birthed you?” I was afraid to ask. If their pa had been so cruel, what had happened to her?
“She died of typhus, two years ago,” Peter said.
“I was eight and Lizzie was five, and Sam had barely been birthed. I know ’twas hard for Pa, and I tried to help.
And he’d always been holy and talkin’ about God and the devil, but after our first momma died, it got so much worse.
He said God took our other momma because we were so bad, and God would punish us—or that pa would, one day.
He said he’d kill us if he thought God would want it. ”
“Now, Peter, you know that ain’t true, those things he said.”
“’Course I know it. We’s just kids. Look at Lizzie. Why, how could she be evil?” Peter said, with scorn and contempt for the very idea. “And Sam’s a baby!”
As if to emphasize this, Lizzie snuggled into Peter and cuddled her toy dog with the most beguiling innocence. I put a hand on Peter’s back, so proud of his good sense and the fact that he hadn’t let his pa’s misguided ideas poison him or his siblings.
“That’s right. There ain’t nothin’ evil ’bout any of you. I reckon the evil was all in him, only he couldn’t admit it to himself, so he struck out at you all.”
“Yes, sir. Momma got the worst of it. He’d yell, throw curses at her and tell her she should go throw herself in the river.
He said she was a demon, and she didn’t deserve to live.
That she was nasty and vile, and he only put up with her because she looked after us.
” Peter’s face screwed up with puzzlement.
“But Momma is the kindest person, and I don’t know how he could e’en think that about her. ”
I glanced at Oscar, who’d gone as pale as a ghost at the thought of that man treating his own children, and Cal— our Cal—that way.
“He said almost every day that he’d murder her when she was sleepin’ and us in our beds, too, but that was only to control us and keep us scared.
We were scared. We never knew what he might do…
or when. I reckon ’twas only a matter of time until he did what he kept sayin’ he’d do.
” Peter wrapped his arm around Lizzie and met my gaze.
“I wasn’t upset when Momma took the axe to him.
’Cept ’twas gruesome to watch, and I tried to hide the others from it. ”
I couldn’t speak for a moment, imagining living with those threats, day in and day out.
“I know you did your best, Peter. I’m so sorry you had to see that.”
Peter nodded. “I don’t blame Momma one bit.”
“I don’t blame her either, if ’twas as you say.” My voice was soft and careful.
“’Twas because of us —me and Lizzie and Sam—that Momma stayed with him and put up with him for so long. She wouldn’t leave us.”
We were sober as we mounted the horses to head back to the homestead.
The children were quiet and so were we, thinking about everything we’d learned.
Peter laid his head against my back as we rode back to Telegraph Creek, and I hoped my warmth and my steady heartbeat was a comfort.
But as we got closer to where Miss June and Cal were, I felt him stiffen and sit straighter, his arms clasping me tight.
“Are you gonna tell Momma that you know what happened?”
“I reckon we won’t tell her that right away. But we’re gonna have to let her know soon enough.”
“I hope she won’t be mad at us. ’Twasn’t Lizzie’s fault. She’s only seven.”
“Of course not. We knew somethin’ wasn’t right. You all were livin’ in such a state, and there weren’t no sign of your pa, even though Cal said he was travelin’ to find work. We didn’t really believe her.”
Peter nodded.
“And when Sam wouldn’t go in the barn, ’twas even more obvious that something had happened in there.”
“Uh-huh. We ain’t been in there since.”
I wanted to ask Peter what Cal had done with the body, but I didn’t have the heart to. And, anyhow, at that moment Trick pulled her horse up and said my name.
“Yeah?”
“Look.”
The view of Cal’s home was still blocked by the trees, but we could see the old barn in the distance.
“Is that Cal?” I said, squinting.
“And Miss June, I think.”
I could make out a hunched figure that must be Cal, sagging against the barn door, her hands planted flat on it and her forehead pressed against the wood.
Miss June stood beside her, her lips moving and head bobbing, and she was holding Sam, who was crying and trying to escape her hold.
Cal was rocking back and forth and shaking her head.
A heart-wrenching sob rose from Cal’s crouched form.
“You keep the kids here. I’ll go,” Trick said.
“All right.”
We stayed behind, while Trick dismounted and approached them.
Cal didn’t seem to take any notice of her, and Miss June said a few things to Trick then took the baby back to the house, glancing to us and gesturing for us to come to the house with her.
“Looks like Miss June wants to speak to us at the house,” I said to the children.
Lizzie was peering at her momma crouched by the barn.
“Is Momma all right?”
“Trick’ll make sure she is,” I said. “Trick and Cal—your momma—have known each other a long time.”
We left the horses with Trick’s mount and walked to the house, the children glancing at their momma but obediently following us.
When we went inside the house, Miss June had Sam in his highchair with a wedge of seed cake in his small fists that he was taking bites off with the utmost concentration. The tears had made streaks through the dirt on his face, but he seemed content now that he had cake to eat.
“Hello,” I said.
“Well! I can see that your trip to town was a smashing success!” Miss June said. Her face was flushed as if she’d been crying, but she smiled and put on a pleased expression. “My, what a beautiful green dress, Lizzie!”
“’Tis my favorite color. Only, I got some ice cream on’t.”
“Never mind, we can look after that. Did you get some new clothes, too, Peter?”
“Yes’m. A pair of boots and some shoes—and a hat, too!” he took off the cowboy hat he was wearing and showed her.
“Well, that’s fine, isn’t it? You look the proper country gentleman now.” Miss June glanced at Sam, then looked at Peter. “Would you mind watching Lizzie and Sam for me while I speak with Jimmy and Oscar?”
“No, ma’am. I mean, yes, I’ll watch ’em.”
“Thank you. There’s fresh lemonade with ice on the counter for all of you.”
Peter’s eyes bugged. “Thank you, ma’am!”
She motioned to me and Oscar.
“Let’s go outside for a moment.”
We stepped out of the door and into the yard. Of course, the first thing I did was to check on Trick and Cal from a distance. They were sitting together on the grass by the barn. Trick had her arm around Cal, and she was talking to her, which was an improvement from before.