Noah
She studied me for what felt like forever. It was okay; I didn’t expect her to jump into my arms after all these years. She’d aged well, and if it was possible, she was even more beautiful than she’d been when we were younger.
I looked into her eyes, the same soft, loving eyes I’d remembered looking into the day I’d left on my first deployment.
It felt like we’d been transported back in time.
The only thing that had changed out of all this was that we’d gotten older.
Otherwise, standing here, looking at her, everything felt the same.
I could feel my feelings rise to the surface, but knew I’d never be able to stand to have my heart broken again.
I didn’t know if the fact we never got closure had to do with my being single or not, but it was something I’d always wondered.
“Ugh, how rude of me,” she murmured before smiling. “Would you like to join me for a coffee?” she asked, her voice shaking.
Was she nervous? Was that what the shake in her voice was?
“I’d love to,” I said, still staring into those eyes. “I’ve grown very fond of this place again.”
“One moment.”
I watched as she made her way over to the counter, then leaned across it and whispered something to the dark-haired woman I knew as Melinda.
She waited while Melinda poured a cup of coffee and then brought it over to the table.
She placed it down on the opposite side and quickly began clearing the papers from the table.
“Thank you,” I said, clearing my throat as I sat down across from her.
She didn’t look at me. Instead, she fiddled with the papers that had been piled on the table and shoved them messily into a file folder and then slid the cup over to me, while reaching for the sugar and creamer that sat on the table, and placed them in the center before she sat down.
“So, how have you been, Mindi?” I questioned, wanting her to raise her beautiful eyes to me again.
“Okay,” she answered softly, “and you?”
“Doing well now,” I answered. “I moved back to Willow Valley a month ago.”
I couldn’t make out what she was thinking, but I could tell from her expression that she was curious about something.
“What is it?” I questioned.
“You’ve been back a month. How have we not seen one another until now?”
I dumped a creamer into my coffee and met her eyes again. “I’m not sure. I’ve been busy getting settled and looking for work. To be honest, I wasn’t even sure you’d still be in the area.”
“What sort of work are you looking for? Perhaps I could help?” she asked.
Just like that, there was the Mindi I knew, the girl who would always help someone in need. Suddenly, it didn’t feel like any time had passed at all.
“Funny you should ask that. I stopped over at the community center, but I apparently missed someone named Mindi. I’ve been looking for a counselor position.”
She lifted her eyes to mine.
“Are you the Mindi I’m supposed to speak with?”
“I am, and you’re the man who was supposed to stop by but didn’t? Ethan told me about you, but he never mentioned a name.”
I nodded. “I am.”
She didn’t take her eyes off me. She swallowed, and her hand shook as she took a sip of her coffee. “We need a counselor badly.”
“Perhaps we could sit down and talk soon,” I said, watching as she placed her mug back down on the table.
“I think we could, although there isn’t any doubt in my mind that you’d do a fantastic job.”
“Tell me a little about the community center. What do you do there?”
“Well, aside from all community events, I have focused on helping families who are in the military, just like I did when you left. I have recently put in place a children’s program to help kids whose parent or parents have been deployed.
I wanted them to have a place to make friends so they wouldn’t feel so alone and to take their minds off their situation.
It helps them to be around those who are dealing with the same things.
We do craft days and provide meals for them on holidays and help with all community events.
Honestly, I’ve just worked and built upon the program that I began when you left. ”
“I always loved that about you. After all these years, you still want to help others, more times than not putting other’s needs above yours.”
I could barely take my eyes off her. After all this time, she was in front of me, and I feared if I looked away she’d be gone. I listened to her tell me all about the other programs, and just like that, it felt like I’d never left her.
“You know, I really love giving back, but the past couple of years, I think I have taken on more than I can handle.”
“Why do you say that?”
She studied me, almost as if she were wondering if she should answer me. Then she let out the breath she was holding and held onto her coffee cup.
“Well, one family here suffered a tragedy last year. Sarah, she’s a sweet girl, one I’ve gotten to know over the years at the center.
Her parents, both military, were deployed at the end of the summer.
They were both killed in an ambush in September.
Sarah had no relatives, and since I am one of the approved caretakers, she moved in with me.
It was a challenge to help her deal with the loss, and now this year, sadly, she will be put up for adoption in the new year.
Since things don’t move fast with the military, they still don’t have anyone, but she will move into an approved foster facility until she is adopted.
Everyone thought it was best for her to be in a familiar set of surroundings while she dealt with the loss, but it’s literally killing me.
I’d like to do more for her since Willow Valley is the only home she’s ever known. ”
“Her last name happen to be Lancaster?” I questioned.
“Yes, how did you know?”
“I knew Heidi and John very well.”
“This is probably the hardest situation I’ve been in,” she said, avoiding my eyes for a moment.
“Have you tried finding someone here in Willow Valley that may want to adopt her?”
Mindi nodded. “I have, but the things they are looking for practically weed out every family in the area. I’d take her myself, but they want a two-parent household.
Ethan, whom you met, just tells me to take a breath and take things one day at a time, that things will work out.
I just fear that it won’t, and she’ll have to move away. ”
“You know Ethan is right.”
“I do.”
“Good, because years ago someone told me the same thing.”
She studied me, and then a small and knowing smile came to her lips.
“You’re right. I just want to make sure she is okay. She’s lost so much.”
“She has, but trust me when I say these kids are resilient.”
“I know that too. Sometimes, I hate that I always want to make sure others are alright.”
“Yes, I remember. Your letters never talked about how much you missed me until the very end of the letter. After a while, I wondered if you were just saying you missed me so I didn’t feel you weren’t.”
“Please tell me you aren’t serious?”
“I am.”
“If I went on and on about how much I missed you, monopolizing the entire letter with my feelings, when I knew you were struggling with being away from home, what sort of girlfriend would I have been?”
“A normal one, and one who wasn’t afraid to let someone else know how she felt.” I winked.
“I wasn’t afraid of how I felt. I just didn’t want to make things harder for you while you were gone. I knew it was a struggle for you to be away from home.”
“It was, but, Mindi, what sort of man would I be if I couldn’t handle how you felt as well.
We were in what I thought was a serious relationship, one in which we could talk about anything, even in the tough times.
I knew you were struggling, even if you didn’t want to say it.
I often worried about how you were handling things. ”
“You’re acting as if I never told you how I was feeling. It’s not like I never did; I just didn’t want to make it an issue,” she said, bringing her hands to her chest.
“I know, I just had to get smart and read between the lines.” I winked.
We both grew quiet and picked up our coffee and took a drink.
There was only one question on the tip of my tongue at the moment, and I knew I needed an answer to it, or else I might as well just get up from this table right now and walk out.
There was no point in my sitting here talking with her any further about our past without an answer.
I was certain that we deserved another chance; why else would she still be here all these years later?
If this moment taught me anything, it’s that some feelings never fade and that just because the timing wasn’t right in the past, it didn’t mean it’s never the right time.
The moment my cup was back on the table, I looked over at her and cleared my throat.
“Are you seeing anyone?” I questioned. I needed to know. If she was, that was fine, at least I’d know not to pursue things with her any further. I’d take a few days, and then I’d go into the center and apply for the counselor position.
She studied me and then shook her head.
“What about you? Married?”
I didn’t answer, but I’d gotten the answer I needed. I figured she’d get her answer with the next couple of questions I asked, especially if she were still as perceptive as she used to be.
“Won’t they be having the tree lighting soon?” I questioned, looking over across the street where I could see some men still working on stringing lights in the enormous park. “I remember it was always around this time of year.”
“Yes, it’s on Friday, always on the first day of December.”
“Well then, how about we meet that night? Say at the pavilion in the center of the park. I’ll stop and get us some hot chocolate. We can go ice skating; we’ll catch up. You can tell me about the type of counselor you are looking for, and we will take it from there.”
Her eyes met mine. Shock lined them as she stared back at me. She was still as perceptive as she once had been. She knew exactly what I was asking.
“What do you say? Will you meet me?”
She stared back at me. I could feel my heart pounding in my chest as I waited for her answer.
“How does six thirty sound?” I urged, afraid that a no was on the edge of her lips.
I did not know why I wasn’t letting this go.
Perhaps it was because after all these years, she was sitting in front of me.
Maybe it was the fact that she was single, and I could get my second chance with her.
After all, the first chance we’d had was cut somewhat short.
Maybe everything had been a misunderstanding. I didn’t know.
“I will see you then,” she said, her eyes finally falling to the table and away from me.
I wasn’t giving her a chance to change her mind. I drank down the rest of my coffee, got up, and grabbed my jacket.
“I have some errands to run, but I will see you then.” I smiled and then turned and made my way out of The Crispy Biscuit, leaving her sitting there.
With my heart in my throat, I drove home.
I’d had to get away from her and clear my thoughts.
Mindi hadn’t changed a bit. She was still the same woman I’d fallen in love with all those years ago.
She was still shy in most ways, and still had a heart of gold that I’d give anything to own.
The best part was that she’d never lost sight of herself, nor what she believed in.
That was clear. She had always been determined to help others, and by the looks of things, she was still doing it.
Her heart was the part of her I’d loved the most, and what had originally brought me to her.
I parked the car in the driveway and made my way into the house.
I took off my jacket and headed to the kitchen, where I grabbed a soda from the fridge.
Why had I avoided the one question I really wanted an answer to?
I should have just asked her about the Christmas card I’d sent.
Why hadn’t I asked her why she’d never responded?
Was I afraid of her answer? Damn right I was.
I hadn’t been sure I was ready to talk to her, yet she’d sat there in front of me, within arm’s reach, my body aching to touch her.
Until I’d set eyes on her, I hadn’t realized how badly I still wanted a chance with her.
Somehow, even though that had been a burning question in the back of my mind, I’d been willing to put that question on pause.
I didn’t want to scare her away by being angry, or forcing her to answer a question that perhaps she wasn’t ready to.
Perhaps this chance was presented to us to realize we could start over, and I knew that if I wanted this to be our second chance together, I had to take things slowly and perhaps overlook the past. It was the only way I could see us moving on.
Harboring all the feelings I’d held onto about that card, the lack of response, had almost killed me, and I knew I had to let that all go if ever we were to have even a slight chance at a second time together.