Chapter 16 Ris #4
Good luck! You got this!
Wait a minute
I can’t believe you didn’t text me.
You are TRASH, lady
I’m so proud of you. Can’t wait to hear how it goes.
Are you still there?
You all are really living it up! I’m so glad
I’m literally going to combust if you don’t give me an update
Hello???
Wait, are you picking up dinner?
RIS ARE YOU ALIVE
BLINK TWICE IF YOU CAN READ THIS
She hunched over the steering column, giggling, dancing a little in her seat, tapping his photo and starting the car. His voice came through the car speaker half a beat later.
“I cannot believe you left me twisting with nothing.”
“I know,” she agreed, laughing, “I’m so sorry. You’ve been so supportive and awesome. And yes, I will most definitely bring home dinner.”
“Dinner, what the — Ris I don’t give a fuck about dinner! How did it go?!”
She bounced in her seat, still riding the high. “So good. So, so good, babe. I had eighteen! And they’re all so enthusiastic. We’ve already made such big plans. Like, way bigger than I even thought about. Honestly, I think I’m in trouble.”
“Good trouble or bad trouble? Obviously, I’m down for either, but I’d like to know what to pack.”
She breathed, low and slow. A steady yoga breath, centering herself.
For the first time in years, that hole in her center didn’t seem like such an endless expanse.
We’re really going to do this. “Good trouble. Definitely good trouble. The kind you can’t walk away from.
You still have that excellent dental insurance, right?
Because we are going to be testing the strength of your tusks tonight. ”
* * *
“So what do you think? Is she gonna try to take over?”
Ris made a face across the break room table at Lurielle’s question.
“I don’t know? Maybe? She’s obviously put a lot more thought into this than I have.
And like, I’m okay with it if she does, to be honest. It’s a hell of a lot easier to join something than to build it, you know?
If there was something for us to join five years ago, we would have done it.
So if she wants to take on the burden of responsibility, have at it, sister. ”
“That’s true,” Lurielle agreed around a mouthful of her lunch.
“Especially all of the setup shit. Dealing with lawyers and accountants. I would just worry that a governing board would turn into a popularity contest. So that would be my suggestion, I think. Constantly rotating out positions to prevent any one clique from becoming too powerful.”
“See? I didn’t even think of that. Hearing everyone talk about what they can bring to the table . . . I follow directives. That’s what I do. This bitch loves an SOP. I can build us an SOP. But I don’t think I actually want to be the person who has to make all of the big decisions.”
“That’s the point of a board. So no one person has to.”
Lurielle glanced around surreptitiously. Ris leaned in, recognizing the body language of a confidence soon to be shared.
“Don’t breathe a word about this. I haven’t told anyone. I haven’t even confirmed it yet, I need to make an appointment, but—”
“I swear to the goddess, Lurielle, if you tell me you’re pregnant again, I’m going to flip this fucking table.”
Lurielle dropped her head, moaning a little.
“I know! I’m torn between being really happy because I want to get this shit over with, you know?
Neither of us are starry-eyed twenty-five-year-olds.
If we’re going to have kids, I want to hurry up and do it.
But also, I’m never going to be able to sneeze again without peeing a little, Ris.
Ever. I have to fold myself into a pretzel if I feel it coming.
Like, what is another orc going to do to my body? ”
Her shoulders shook as she leaned forward on the table, face in her hands.
“I love you, and you know I’m so, so happy for you. But I can’t believe you are doing this to me. You only just came back! Like four months ago! Kael only just turned one!”
“I know! Believe me, I know. I’m already stressing out about what to do.
I spent too many years in school to just pack it in.
So then I think, okay, are we going to get a nanny?
I think I would be okay with that, but then Khash is going to want a bigger house.
He already does. And it’s probably smart, we're going to need the space, but . . . I love my house! I love my neighborhood, I love my neighbor. I love rocking my baby in his tiny little bedroom. And I don’t want to think about any of that.
I know exactly what happened, too. We went up to the cabin for the weekend just to be cozy, just the three of us. ”
“The cabin at the resort,” Ris supplied, slapping her hand down on the table. “That fucking resort. That place is cursed. It’s ruined all of our lives.”
Lurielle was a heap of laughter on the table, head dropped into her arms, lunch abandoned. “It really is. It’s the best and the worst. I’m pretty sure I conceived there twice. I would’ve never met Khash if we hadn’t gone on that trip. And you would’ve never met Ainsley if you hadn’t gone back.”
“And then all the mess in the middle,” Ris finished.
They were both quiet then. Silva was rarely mentioned. Ris didn’t like the idea of gossiping about their former coworker, especially after she had seen up close and personal what a terrible state Silva had been in. Rarely mentioned, but Ris often wondered how she was doing.
“I hope she’s doing okay,” Lurielle said softly, evidently thinking the same thing. “I can’t believe she just up and left. And now she had a baby? Do we even know when? Have you heard from her at all? Like, even a text?”
Ris shook her head. “I texted her a bunch after she left, and she never answered. Her socials are wiped clean. I’ve tried to look at his, but it’s all dumb career shit.
If he posts personal photos, it’s locked down, and I really don’t want to send him a follow request just to get more ‘five steps to team synergy today’ bullshit.
But yeah, that’s what I heard from Edzin.
He still talks to Tannar. She could’ve had it already for all I know. I guess we could ask him.”
“You just can’t make me believe she is happy,” Lurielle blurted, looking up guiltily, shrugging after a moment.
“I know you don’t want to gossip about her, but this isn’t gossip.
She’s our friend and we’re concerned about her.
And we’re allowed to be. But you just can’t make me believe she is happy with Tannar.
First of all, he sucks. He has all the personality of a mildewy dishrag.
I never saw them together outside of this place, but you can’t make me believe he makes her happy.
You just can’t. He is terrible. And Silva is so sweet. ”
“I don’t think being happy was the point,” Ris mumbled.
“I think she just needed to get away from everything. She should have done that on her own, just taken an extended vacation somewhere sunny. Whisper her sadness into a bowl and then fire it in the kiln of her heart. Something. I’m most surprised that she left left. Left her mom and her grandma . . .”
“Yeah, well . . . the devil you know isn’t always better than the devil you don’t.” Lurielle’s voice was hard. She would know, Ris thought. “I just hope she’s happy, wherever she is.”
“Same. I miss seeing her little jug of cider so much . . . fucking Tate.”
Silence sat at the table with them for several long, yawning moments, the empty seat beside them holding space for Silva’s ghost.
“I can’t believe you’re going to leave me again.”
Lurielle moaned once more, sounding like a pathetic little dog left out in the rain. “I don’t want to think about it yet. I don’t know yet. I have to pick up one of those tests and pee on my hand.”
“You already know,” Ris huffed. “You wouldn’t willingly pee on your hand if you didn’t already know.”
“Yeah. I’m pretty sure, at the very least. Well, at least we’ll have a clubhouse to hang out in, once that tree girl takes over everything.”
They dissolved into giggles once more, but Lurielle was right.
This is why it needs to work. For all of us.