Rev (Royal Bastards MC: Belfast, Northern Ireland #6)

Prologue

Present Day

“I want ye on the job, Rev. This one ain’t goin’ta be pretty,” Monster tells me.

He’s the President of the MC, and whatever he says is law, but he’s not a tyrant. If we need anything, he’ll bend over backwards to help us. We’re not just soldiers in his MC, we’re brothers. When he gave me a chance to patch in at twenty-five, I didn’t think I’d still be here ten years later. I didn’t expect to be part of a family that loves me as much as I do it.

“I’ll take my brother and Racer with me,” I inform Monster, and he nods his approval.

I make my way out of the clubhouse to find Hades and Racer waiting for me, and I quickly fill them in on the job we’ve been tasked with. Racer hasn’t been with the club long, but he’s already an integral part of the family.

My twin brother has been by my side all my life. Even when I went into the seminary for a while, he came to church every fecking day to confess and to talk to me about the shite he’d been up to. I tried to stop him from doing stupid, reckless things, but there was nothing I could do to prevent the stubborn arsehole from getting into trouble.

Hades has spent more than his fair share of nights in a police cell, but since we joined the Royal Bastards, we’ve both been doing much better.

Two hours later, I’m packed and ready to leave. I meet Racer and Hades by our bikes.

“Are you two ready?” I ask.

“Yes,” Hades answers while Racer nods. “It’s going to be interesting going back.”

“Aye, it definitely is,” I say as I head for my bike.

When we moved to Belfast, I vowed never to return to England, not even for work. I didn’t want to set foot on the land that spat me out and left me a broken man. I didn’t think I deserved happiness after walking out on Shaun and leaving Harley at the stone bench where we had our most profound conversations.

Now we’re heading back to Newcastle to sort out some shite that’s going down there, and I know I have to keep a level head. Some of our gun shipments have been going missing before they reach the club, and we’re losing a lot of money. Monster has asked us to meet with our suppliers to figure out where the problem is originating from. Once we’ve done that, we can fix whatever is broken.

“We’re not going to visit our old stomping grounds,” I warn Hades, who’s watching me.

“Don’t you miss it?” Racer asks.

“Like feck,” I respond, but my words are drowned out by the roar of our engines coming to life.

We pull out of the driveway and onto the street, heading for the airport. I can’t deny, my anxiety is at an all-time high at the thought of flying back to England. The risk that we would run into our father has always been one reason why we’ve never gone back.

You can’t choose your parents, but you can walk away from their toxicity if it hinders you. We chose to walk away from our father rather than have his death on our hands. Despite what he did to us, we didn’t want to kill him, but if we do meet him again, we know there’s every possibility that we will.

We grew up on a council estate in a town called Bolton—not far from the city of Manchester. The memories of our childhood and the reasons for Hades and me running away from home have consumed my thoughts over the years. The blood that stained our hands and the lives that were lost from overdosing on the drugs we sold still play on my mind on a never-ending loop.

I haven’t forgotten what happened in that shite hole we grew up in—the things we witnessed, and the way our father treated us. The man was a bastard, and he made sure we both believed we were as well. I don’t think he ever had any love for his family. He even blamed our mother for leaving him when she died, and he held us responsible for her death.

After we ran away, we ended up in Newcastle where we discovered what it was like to live the high life. We were both offered jobs in a nightclub on the south side of the river. It’s there that we met locals and tourists who were looking for a good time, and it’s there that we first came into contact with the man who would eventually take us under his wing.

Shaun Hunt was a man we could finally look up to, so we ended up working for him. He invited us into his home in South Shields, not far from Newcastle, where he gave us everything we needed. Everybody who knew Shaun loved him, but nobody saw beneath the shiny exterior. The business he ran wasn’t all above board.

I will always be grateful to the man who offered us a second chance when my brother and I were twenty-one years old. There are many excuses I could give as to why I never returned to South Shields to see Shaun, but the main reason I stayed away was the pretty girl who I was never meant to care for. Before I walked out, I asked one thing of her, and I hope to God she listened to me.

Harley was far too fecking young for me. At sixteen, she was still a child. One that had grown up way too fast in her father’s world. Even though she wasn’t meant for me, I still cared about her. She would follow me around, watching me whenever I was in her father’s house. To begin with, I told her to leave me alone and not to look up to me, but she didn’t listen, and in the end, we became friends. I always knew she wanted more than friendship, but that was never going to happen.

I told her she needed to get out of that shite life and go to college. I wanted her to make something of herself. I hope to God she did. When I first decided to join the seminary, I thought about finding her to see if she’d managed to escape. But I knew if I did, I wouldn’t be able to let her go again.

The thought of bumping into her now, fills me with equal measures of dread and excitement. I don’t know how I feel about looking into those green almost luminous, alluring eyes again. The last time I saw her, she used them to shoot daggers at me.

I park our hire car outside the old warehouse. Its once intimidating fa?ade now looks worn and forgotten. The place where my brother and I spent our working days, all those years ago, still remains as a monument to the choices we made, the lives we took, and the people we left behind.

Hades stands on one side of me and Racer on the other, their tall frames silhouetted against the dim light of the setting sun. My brother glances at me, a mixture of concern and determination in his eyes.

“You ready for this, mate?” he asks, his voice steady despite the tension.

I take a deep breath, trying to calm my nerves.

“As ready as I’ll ever be,” I reply, my voice betraying the unease I feel. “Seems like a lifetime ago.”

“It does,” he agrees, looking at the empty building. “A lot has changed since then.”

We step inside, and the creak of the door echoes through the empty space. The air is thick with the scent of oil and dust. It’s a familiar yet unsettling aroma that brings back a flood of memories—the meetings with Harley’s father, Shaun, who took us in and gave us work, the whispered plans, and the reading out of the names of men Hades and I had to talk to when they didn’t pay up. There was always a constant sense of danger here.

This place was our life once. A life we both chose to leave behind.

Hades stops by a stack of old crates, his fingers tracing the worn wood.

“Ya know, sometimes I think about those days when we used to do shite for Hunt. It was one of the best times of our lives and far better than livin’ with Da. But then again, when I recall the people we were and the things we did, it’s like looking back at two completely different men.”

I nod, understanding exactly what he means.

“We made the right choice, walking away. But it wasn’t an easy one.”

“No, it wasn’t,” he says, his voice heavy with the weight of the past. “But we’re here now, and that’s what matters. We need to find out what the feck is happening to the shipments coming in.”

“This place is filled with crates, but they’re all empty,” Racer remarks as we move through the warehouse.

He’s right. The space is almost half full, but there’s nothing in the crates. It looks like they’ve been emptied, and the contents shipped off somewhere else. Unless this place is now used as a decoy.

We continue walking through the building, the memories of my past life hanging in the air like ghosts. As we continue to search though the crates, a comfortable silence falls between the three of us—the kind only brothers share.

Finally, Hades turns to me, his expression serious. “You said you were nervous about seeing Harley again.”

I swallow hard, the mention of her name sending a jolt through my heart. “Aye,” I admit, my voice barely above a whisper. “It’s been a long time. I don’t know what to expect if I do bump into her.”

“Who’s Harley?” Racer asks, stopping suddenly, his focus pinned on me, which I hate. Even though I’ve spent most of my adult life being asked for advice, I always hate talking about myself.

“She’s a lass I used to know,” I tell him. “Her father was the one we worked for, and there were… it was complicated. I broke her heart.”

“Hadrian, you can’t keep beating yourself up over the past,” Hades says, his tone gentle but firm. “Harley was strong. She’ll have moved on.”

“I know,” I say, though the words feel hollow. The idea of her moving on to someone else, married with perhaps a bairn on the way, doesn’t calm me down or relieve my anxiety. “But that doesn’t make it any easier. I can’t help but wonder if she’s still in South Shields living with her Da, or if she’s moved somewhere else in England, or if she’s thought about me at all.”

Hades places a hand on my shoulder, his grip reassuring.

“You did what you had to do. We both did. You can’t let the what ifs eat you alive.”

Racer steps forwards and says, “Mate, if she has moved on, then we’re here for you. It’s shite, no doubt, but you’ve seen how love works with Monster, Sully, Rebel, and even Tye. If it’s meant to be, then it will be. You can’t know for sure until you come face-to-face with the lass again. Worryin’ about it isn’t going to make it any better.”

“Aye, you’re right.” I nod in agreement. I know he’s right, but the thought of having to face her when she’s moved on with her life still stings.

“Racer is right,” Hades agrees. “Harley’s a strong, stubborn lass, and she’ll have healed from the past, just as you have.”

I look at the two of them, grateful for their support. “Thanks, lads. It’s just… I can’t shake this feeling. What if she’s still waiting for me? What if she hasn’t moved on?”

“Then you’ll find out,” Hades says simply. “And you’ll deal with it. But until then, stop torturing yourself. You’re a good man, Hadrian. You deserve to be happy.”

His words give me a measure of comfort, but the anxiety still gnaws at me. As we continue our walk through the warehouse, I try to focus on the present and the task at hand. But Harley’s face keeps creeping into my thoughts. A constant reminder of the unresolved feelings I still harbour for her.

We make our way to the back of the building where the shadows are darker, and the air feels heavier. This is the place where we made our final decision to leave. Standing here now, I feel a sense of closure, but I also can’t help feeling a sense of longing for the life I left behind.

Hades leans against the wall, his eyes scanning the room.

“Do you ever regret leaving?” he asks quietly.

I take a moment to think before answering. “Sometimes,” I admit. “But then I remember why we did. We wanted something better, something different, and that’s what we’ve built for ourselves.”

“Yeah, we have,” he says, a small smile playing on his lips. “But it’s still hard, isn’t it? Letting go completely.”

“It is,” I agree. “Maybe that’s part of the process. Maybe we never fully let go. Maybe we just learn to live with it.”

“I’ve walked away from many people and situations in my life,” Racer says as he stops beside me and places his hand on my shoulder in a show of support. “But I’ve found a family now, and as much as I miss certain things that I’ve left behind, I know it’s for the best. At least I’m still alive,” he tells me, and I want to delve deeper.

Racer has always been rather quiet and doesn’t talk much, especially about himself. I know he’s not reserved, because he enjoys partying with the rest of the lads, but there’s always been a part of him that he’s kept hidden. I can see it in his eyes.

“Aye,” I say then, “I’ve always felt guilty about the girl I left broken-hearted, but in moving on, we found where we belong.”

Hades nods. “You’re right. Have you thought about what you’ll do if you do see Harley again?”

I let out a heavy sigh. That question’s been weighing on me. “I have, but I don’t have any answers. I don’t even know if she wants to see me. But if she does…if there’s still something there… I’ll figure it out. One step at a time.”

“Good,” Hades says, clapping me on the back. “That’s all any of us can do.”

We stand there in silence for a while longer, lost in our own thoughts. The warehouse, once a place of secrets and danger, now feels like a place of reflection and possibility. The past moulded us into the people we are today, but it’s the choices we follow through on that shape our future.

Eventually, we make our way back to the entrance. The dim light of the setting sun casting long shadows across the floor. As we step outside, the cool evening air fills my lungs. It’s a reminder that the world is still turning, that life goes on.

“Hadrian,” Hades says, stopping me before we reach our car. “Whatever happens, just know I’m here for you. We’re in this together, no matter what.”

“Aye, we all are. Our brothers in the club are there for you too,” Racer adds with a nod.

I smile, grateful for their unwavering support. “Thanks, lads. That means a lot.”

Hades nods, his expression serious. “Don’t let your fears control you. You’re stronger than you think.”

As we drive away from the warehouse, I can’t help but feel a sense of anticipation. The future is uncertain, but for the first time in a long while, I feel ready to face it. Harley is out there somewhere, and whether she’s moved on or is still waiting, I know I need to see her, to find out where we stand.

The journey ahead won’t be easy, but with Hades by my side and the strength of our shared past, I know I can face whatever comes next. The road stretches out before us, a path filled with unknowns and possibilities. I have a sense of hope and a belief that maybe, just maybe, everything will be okay.