Seven
SEVEN
REV
In many ways, the bench is a fitting location for what promises to be another pivotal moment.
The sky is a turbulent canvas of greys and blues as I walk along the familiar path to the bench overlooking the sea. The sound of the waves crashing against the shore provides a strange sense of calm.
There was never a time I didn’t love being by the coast until that day when I broke Harley’s teenage heart. I knew it was the right thing to do at the time, but it still felt shitty to see her heart crack.
The salty breeze carries with it the memories of a time that feels both distant and ever present. I can see the bench in the distance, the place where Harley and I said our goodbyes. It’s a stark reminder of the decisions I made and the paths we’ve both chosen as a consequence.
As I approach, I see Harley sitting there with her back to me and her blue-black hair whipping around her face in the wind. She’s looking out to sea, her gaze fixed on the horizon, and her posture suggests a mix of tension and calm. My heart pounds in my chest, a relentless reminder of the feelings I’ve tried to bury.
I take a deep breath and walk towards her, each step heavy with the weight of our past. I don’t want to be here. This is the last place I saw her before I left. When I returned to the house that day, Hades and I walked out and never looked back. Even though I wanted to return, I didn’t because I knew I’d made the right choice.
“Harley,” I say softly as I reach the bench.
She turns to look at me, her eyes reflecting the stormy sea behind her.
“Hadrian,” she replies, her voice giving nothing away, but I recognise all too well the tinge of longing in her eyes.
“All right if I sit with you?” I ask, gesturing to the empty seat beside her.
“Aye, you know I couldn’t refuse even if I wanted to,” she says with a small smile playing on her lips. She scoots over to put some room between us.
I sit down on the bench, the wooden seat creaking under my weight. We remain silent for a moment while the sound of the waves crashing against the rocks fills the void between us. I steal a glance at her, noticing the way the wind has tangled her hair and her hands are clasped tightly in her lap.
She’s always been reserved but with an inner strength. That’s how she captured my attention and held it hostage. Even when she openly admitted her feelings for me, there was a gentle shyness to her demeanour.
“I didn’t think you’d ever come back here,” she says, finally breaking the silence.
“I didn’t think you’d want me to,” I tell her honestly.
“I didn’t want to see you, but at the same time, I wanted nothing more than to see you again.” She smiles faintly. It’s a sad smile that tugs at my heart. “There’s a lot we need to talk about.”
“Aye, there is,” I agree, looking out at the horizon.
We sit in silence for a few more moments, the weight of our unspoken words hanging in the air between us. I know I need to be the one to start, to tell her everything I’ve been keeping from her. But where to begin?
“Since knowing I was coming back to England, I’ve been thinking a lot about the past,” I begin, my voice barely audible over the roar of the waves. “My thoughts have drifted to my time working for ye da. And I’ve thought about us and the choices I made.”
Harley nods, her eyes fixed on me. “There hasn’t been a day I haven’t thought about you, Hadrian.”
Hearing her call me by my given name makes my chest tighten. Nobody, other than Hades, has called me that in a long while. The brothers at the club all know me as Rev.
“I’m Rev now.”
“What?” She glances at me, her eyes piercing a hole straight into my chest.
“My road name is Rev. No one calls me Hadrian anymore, except Hades when he has something serious to say ta me.”
“Oh…” There’s a long pause before Harley asks, “Why Rev?”
I take a deep breath, gathering my thoughts. “I didn’t know what I wanted to do when I walked out of your father’s house. In the end, I chose a path that I later decided wasn’t for me. It’s not something I regret doing, because it gave me a sense of purpose for a while.”
She looks at me, her expression a mix of curiosity and concern. “What did you do, Had—Rev?”
I look down at my hands, feeling the weight of my confession. “Before I joined the motorcycle club and found my family with the Royal Bastards… I was in a seminary.”
Harley’s eyes widen in surprise. “A seminary? You were training to be a priest?”
I nod, feeling a mixture of embarrassment and guilt that, after leaving the seminary, I ended up back in a world of violence. “Yes. I was searching for something, trying to find a sense of purpose, a calling. But the experience wasn’t what I thought it would be.”
“What happened?” she asks softly.
I take a deep breath, the memories flooding back. I spent a couple of years in the seminary, trying to absolve myself of my sins. But the religious life didn’t suit me. I may have worn the collar, but it didn’t ensure I was a pious man.
“I thought becoming a priest would give my existence some meaning. That it would help me find a sense of peace. But the more time I spent there, the more restless and conflicted I became. I had too many questions and doubts that no one there could answer.”
Harley’s gaze is steady, her eyes filled with understanding. “So, you left?”
“Yes,” I say, nodding. “I left, but I was still lost. I didn’t know what to do with myself, or where to go. Hades called me one day and said I should come to Belfast. He’d found the club, and he was happy there. I went to see for myself.” I sit in silence, recalling my first meeting with Monster, the President of the Royal Bastards. “At the club, I found the freedom and brotherhood I’d been searching for. Hades was always there for me, but we’d never been part of a real family. It was always us against the world. The club offered us something more. It was the first time I truly felt at home.”
“So, you joined them,” Harley says, her voice a mix of curiosity and sadness.
“I did,” I admit. “At first, it was just about the bikes, the open road, and the sense of adventure. But then it became more. They became my family. My escape from the world.”
Harley looks at me, her eyes filled with a mix of emotions. “You needed an escape from…” I know she wants to know if I meant I wanted to escape her.
“Harley, when I told you I didn’t want us to do anything to jeopardise your future, I meant it. I didn’t think you’d end up running the feckin’ organisation,” I say honestly. “You deserved a life away from the world you grew up in. Violence and all this other shite is not for you.”
She shakes her head. “Hadrian, I always knew you were unhappy working for my da, but this is me. I was born into this life, and I didn’t want to leave.”
She goes silent, and I glance her way to find her looking at me.
“I enjoy what I do, Hadrian, and I love my father. After you left, I needed an escape, so when my da told me I needed to step up and work for him full-time, I agreed. I ended up learning all there is to know about his world and accepted it as my fate.”
I stare at her, my heart aching with regret. “I’m sorry, Harley. For everything. For telling you I didn’t want you. For hurting you.”
Reaching out, she places her hand on mine. “You did what was best for both of us at the time. I understand why you did it, and why you said what you did. I’m all grown up now, Hadrian, and I’m okay. I’m much stronger than the little girl you knew back then. I promise.”
I look down at our joined hands, feeling a sense of relief mixed with sadness. “There’s more I need to tell you. About why I walked out of the house and never looked back. About why I told your father I couldn’t work for him anymore.”
She nods, her gaze filled with anticipation. “Go on.”
I take a deep breath, the words heavy on my tongue. “I didn’t like the violence, but I left because I was scared. I was afraid of what I was feeling for you and the consequences. You were sixteen, and I was twenty-one. It wasn’t right, and I knew it. But it didn’t make it any easier.”
“I know,” she says softly. “And it didn’t stop me from loving you.”
I feel a lump in my throat, her words cutting through me like a knife. “It didn’t stop me falling for you either. But I had to let you go. For your sake.”
She looks at me, her eyes filled with tears. “And for your sake?”
I nod, feeling the weight of my confession. “Yes. At the time, it felt like I’d fecked up with your father because my feelings for you had grown into something more. I had to find myself, to understand what I wanted. I couldn’t do that while trying to hide a relationship with someone who was off limits to me. It wouldn’t have been fair to either of us.”
She squeezes my hand, her touch grounding me. “I understand, Hadrian. But it didn’t make it any less painful.”
“I know,” I say, my voice breaking. “But I’m here now, and I’m trying to make things right. To be honest with you, I want to show you who I really am.”
She looks at me, her eyes filled with a mixture of hope and sadness. “So, what now?”
I take a deep breath, feeling the weight of her question. “I’m not sure. But I do know I want to be a part of your life in whatever way you’ll have me. As a friend, and as someone you can trust.”
She nods, her eyes searching mine. “I want that too. It will take time to heal our connection, but it’s still there, I can feel it.”
“I can feel it too,” I say, my heart aching with the knowledge that this isn’t something that can be fixed overnight. “I’m willing to do whatever it takes.”
“There’s something else I need to focus on at the moment. Shipments are going missing, and I’m beginning to suspect that someone in the organisation is involved. I need to find out who is behind it and why.” Her gaze turns to the water.
“I’ll help you,” I offer. I have to find out who’s feckin’ with our imports, and this is a way of solving the problems we’re both facing.
We sit for a while longer, the sound of the waves crashing against the rocks filling the silence between us. I look out at the horizon and see the storm clouds slowly beginning to clear, revealing a sliver of blue sky. It feels like a metaphor for our relationship, and for the glimmer of hope I’m feeling about what lies ahead.
“Hadrian,” Harley says softly. “Thank you for telling me. It means a lot.”
I look at her, my heart swelling with gratitude. “Thank you for listening. And for understanding.”
She smiles, a genuine smile that lights up her face. “We’ve both been through a lot. But I believe we can get through this.”
I nod, feeling a sense of hope for the first time in a long while. “I’m sure we can.”
As we sit there, side by side, I feel a sense of peace wash over me. The past is behind us, and while the future is uncertain, I know we’ll be facing it together. No matter what happens, Harley and I share a bond that can’t be broken. And that’s something worth fighting for.
“We need to find out who’s been stealing the imports,” I tell her, steering the conversation back towards work.
“Well, I can take you to our main warehouse. You can have a look at the delivery manifesto. Maybe that will give you the answers you need.” There’s a confidence about her that’s alluring as she speaks. “Will Hades and your mate be coming along?”
“Aye, Racer and Hades are here to help with this job. We need to report back to Belfast with our findings, and if we need any backup, more of the lads will come over.”
“I suggest we all sit down together and come up with a plan. I’m not sure if we should include any of the men from my organisation. The traitor could be someone on the inside, so I don’t know who to trust.” She pushes to her feet as she speaks, and I can’t help but take in her womanly curves.
Harley is the epitome of sinfully sexy, and I’m having to fight the urge to hold her. I’m hoping the opportunity will come in time, and I’m prepared to wait. Now we’ve talked, there’s no way I’m walking away from her again without claiming what’s mine.
I feel invigorated with a sense of purpose. And as the stars begin to twinkle above us in the night sky, I know there’s nowhere else I’d rather be right now than on this bench with Harley, overlooking the sea.