Chapter 14 #2
“That sounds fun,” I assure him.
Despite my general dislike and fear of the shifters, I have to admit they’re fascinating. This is a perfect opportunity to learn more about their strengths, too. Maybe even their weaknesses.
It’s about ten minutes of walking before we reach the bonfire. My legs and feet are cold, but I refuse to admit that to Caleb. I can tell he’s picked up on my subtle shivering by the way he hurries me toward the flames.
“Are you too cold?” he asks. “I’m happy to get your pants and shoes from the car.”
“I’m fine,” I say. “The fire is warm.”
It’s a shame Caleb doesn’t show this level of care and concern toward the thousands of humans the shifters murder each year.
A few people are sitting around the fire, and they shoot Caleb and me quick, friendly smiles before returning to their conversations.
Caleb wipes the light dusting of snow off the empty chair closest to the fire and plops down, pulling me onto his lap. I try hard not to think about the wolves watching us from between the trees as he wraps his arms around me.
A man approaches from our right. He’s holding two plastic cups.
“I got you something to drink,” he says, handing the cups to Caleb and me.
My face heats as I realize he’s naked, but I’m not sure what else I expected. Clothes don’t exactly survive the transition between man and animal. Caleb tightens his grip on me, his chest vibrating with laughter.
“Thank you,” Caleb says.
When the man leaves, I sip my drink. It’s alcohol.
Thank the fucking heavens. This has been the most stressful two weeks of my life, and I need a drink.
It’s never occurred to me to ask Caleb for alcohol.
Maybe I should. It would help pass the time and, hopefully, make the thought of killing him hurt less.
Two wolves slam into one another opposite the fire.
They snarl before lunging again, and I can only watch the grace and speed at which they move in horror.
I’ve seen videos of wolves fighting, but I’ve never witnessed it firsthand.
It only illuminates the biological advantage they have over humans.
We stand no chance against them in a hand-to-hand fight. They’d rip through us with ease.
We have weapons, but they are weapons.
Caleb chuckles. “They’re showing off for you.” He flicks his fingers at them, shooing them away. “Stop trying to impress my mate.”
They ignore him, continuing to fight, but they eventually vanish back into the forest. The sun is quickly setting, making their eyes glow. I’m not a fan.
“Do you not participate?” I ask Caleb.
“I used to, but not anymore.” He sips his drink. “Most of the wolves you see fighting are unmated. Once we find our other halves, we discover other ways to release our pent-up energy.”
He’s talking about sex. Mated wolves choose to have sex instead. I don’t blame them.
I mentally curse HPAW for the extent of my injuries. If it weren’t for my ribs, I have a feeling Caleb would’ve bedded me long ago. He probably would’ve done it that first night.
“I asked for them to stay out of sight tonight, though,” Caleb continues. “I didn’t want to overwhelm you.”
“Hold up.” I raise a hand. “You mean to say they have sex here? In the woods?”
Caleb’s responding chuckle doesn’t ease my shock. “Of course. We may look like humans, but we are still part animal. It’s—I’ve been told it’s quite exciting to fuck your mate under the stars, and many shifter men feel a sense of dominance in fucking their mate where others can see.”
Well, fuck me. I wouldn’t have guessed.
“But…” I shake my head. “Shifters are prudes, are they not?”
Caleb snorts, digging his fingers into my sides. “Be careful what you say out here, Ev. Talk enough shit and you just might provoke a mated pair into giving you a show.”
“I have no interest in watching animals have sex.” I pause, thinking through my following words, before continuing. “Do you want to have sex with me out here? Do you…Does your wolf want to fuck me?”
Caleb kisses the sensitive spot behind my ear. “I admit the thought of fucking you out here does have a certain appeal. And, no, my wolf doesn’t want to fuck you. I’ve never had much interest in having sex in my animal form. I suppose I should’ve taken that as a clue that my mate would be human.”
A woman standing near the fire begins to strip. She’s wearing a loose dress, and I flush as she rips it over her head, revealing she’s wearing nothing underneath. I hate myself for the way I subtly shift, blocking Caleb’s view.
He kisses my cheek, his lips warm, before making a big show out of turning away from the woman. I understand that nudity is natural among the shifters, but I don’t like the idea of Caleb seeing others.
“It’s not funny,” I whisper.
Caleb’s budding smile falls. “Of course not. You’re the only woman I lust after, Ev.” He grabs my chin, urging me to look at him. “Although I must admit I like seeing this jealousy in you. Shifters are protective of their mates. I like your possessiveness.”
His smile returns, and I just know I’m not going to like his next few words.
“Maybe I should put myself in more positions like this.”
I elbow him hard in the side.
Caleb blinks, then flings us out of the chair with a dramatic shout. What the fuck? I land in a heap on top of him, a bit disoriented as I wait for pain to erupt from my ribcage. It doesn’t come, though, which I quickly realize is due to Caleb.
He holds my hips, preventing me from slamming against him. There’s a twinge upon impact, but nothing more. Our spilled drinks lie beside the chair, long forgotten, as Caleb rolls over on top of me and yanks my hat over my eyes.
“Caleb!” I shriek, smacking blindly at his hands. “Release me!”
Caleb pulls my hat just above my eyes. He’s beaming. “No.” The hat is pulled back down.
I flail, pushing at his torso with all my strength. I hate the way I’m laughing, too, unable to stop myself from enjoying this. It’s stupid and childish.
Caleb finally lets up, and I huff as I fix my hat, returning it to the top of my head.
“You’re a jerk,” I snap.
He rolls me on top, encouraging me to straddle him. I feel dumb for how hard I’m smiling. My cheeks are beginning to hurt.
Caleb touches my cheek. “I love you.”
I blink, my smile falling. “No, you don’t.”
“Pretty sure I do.”
Caleb’s looking at me with an expression much too soft, and I hate it. He’s not supposed to love me. He can’t love me. We’ve only known one another for two weeks. That’s hardly enough time to fall in love. He doesn’t even know me.
Everything I’ve told him about me is a lie, and I haven’t done anything to earn his affection. We spend every day together, sure, but his workdays are long and filled with meetings. We get home just in time for bed, and I sleep like a fucking log.
Then we wake up and do it again.
He hasn’t fallen in love with me.
“I’m not expecting you to return the sentiment, Ev,” Caleb says, brushing a strand of hair from my face. He tucks it into my hat. “I’m only telling you how I feel. There are no strings attached.”
Are the wolves eavesdropping on us? I glance around, spotting several pairs of glowing eyes peering at me from between the trees. Why would Caleb say this to me in such a public setting? Warmth floods my face, and I fight back tears as I scramble to my feet.
Caleb follows. He’s silent, and I avoid eye contact.
“I’m sorry, Ev,” he says. “I didn’t mean to upset you. I won’t say it again.”
God. He’s only making things worse. I wish he’d stop speaking.
“Let’s go home,” I say. “I’m getting cold.”
Caleb shifts his weight from foot to foot, then awkwardly picks up our spilled drinks and tosses them into a trash can nearby. The shifters standing near the fire are silent, all pointedly avoiding looking in our direction. This is uncomfortable.
The walk back to the car is silent. The drive back to the house is silent.
We take turns showering and readying for bed, all without words. I’m not sure what to say, and Caleb has already said too much. We’re tense as we lie beside one another in bed, our arms brushing. Guilt gnaws at my insides, but I don’t regret my response to Caleb’s confession.
I feel bad enough about what I’m doing, and having his love is only going to make it harder. I just can’t let that happen.