Chapter 16
Chapter Sixteen
Perhaps I’ll wait a few more days. I have more to learn, and I shouldn’t rush things.
Besides, it’s supposed to storm tonight. Well, not really a storm. There will be some snowfall, but it’s probably not in my best interests to kill Caleb and attempt driving to the American border when the weather is poor.
I sit opposite Caleb, prodding silently at the food on my plate. Caleb made pork chops for dinner. They’re delicious, but everything he cooks is.
“It should be a quick meeting,” Caleb continues. “King and Everett are always arguing. It isn’t anything I haven’t dealt with before.”
“Can I join?” I ask.
Caleb quirks a brow. “You want to? Sitting in a room with three alphas isn’t anybody’s idea of a good time.”
It’s mine. If I’m going to linger, I might as well make my time worthwhile.
It makes me feel better about procrastinating.
I can make as many excuses for myself as I want, but that’s what I’m doing.
Procrastinating. I don’t want to kill Caleb.
The thought makes me nauseous. Seeing him kill those humans isn’t making it any easier, either.
I’m sure there’s something useful to learn during that meeting. Besides, I’m eager to meet another alpha. Are they as large and intimidating as Caleb? I’ve overheard a few whispers about King and Everett, but nothing that’ll be exceptionally useful to HPAW.
“Why are you in charge of mediating?” I ask.
Caleb swallows around a mouthful of food. “I have the most dominant wolf. If they’re going to listen to anybody, it’s going to be me.”
I hum, thinking that over. “Why don’t they kill you?” I ask. Caleb blinks. I continue. “You have sway over them, and I’m sure they don’t like that. Shouldn’t they want to kill you? It would bring them closer to the top.”
“That’s an interesting question,” Caleb admits.
He rubs his chin, thinking it over. “That’s just not how shifters operate.
My wolf’s dominance qualifies me to be the alpha, but the title doesn’t mean anything if I don’t have the respect of my people.
If my pack lost faith in me, they’d tear me apart. ”
Caleb sips his water, then continues. “If another alpha attacked me, I don’t imagine they’d make it far before my pack tracks and hunts them down.
Besides”—Caleb stabs his meat with his fork—“my pack has already decided who the alpha after me will be. Killing me wouldn’t benefit King or Everett.
It would only anger the Knox pack’s next alpha. ”
“Would it still be called ‘the Knox pack’?”
“Full of questions today, are we?”
“Humor me.”
Caleb chuckles. “No. My pack would take the new alpha’s name.”
“And who would the new alpha be?”
Caleb slips a piece of meat between his teeth.
“You’re not going to tell me?” I ask.
Caleb chews.
“Fine.” I huff. “Tell me more about your wolf, then.”
Caleb swallows. “What do you want to know?”
“You said you don’t have two streams of consciousness, but you share a mind with your wolf. How does that work?”
Caleb takes a minute to think. I’m soaking in everything, all of this vital information HPAW will salivate over.
“Having a wolf is like having an extra set of feelings you can’t control, but they’re simple creatures.
” Caleb smiles, dragging a hand through his hair.
“They have basic desires. They enjoy fighting, fucking, eating—anything you would expect an animal in the wild to enjoy. As long as we’re fulfilling those needs, they don’t really make much of a fuss. ”
“What makes your wolf angry?” I ask, pushing for the dark secrets I’m certain he’s hiding.
Caleb blows out a breath. “Angry? Not much, honestly. He doesn’t like feeling challenged by other shifters, which is a given. He doesn’t like loud noises. He doesn’t like it when other men are near you. Basic things, really.”
Caleb isn’t going to tell me anything interesting. I knew that was coming.
I change the subject. “So can I join your meeting with King and Everett tomorrow?”
Caleb’s budding smile falls. I know what that means. “We’re meeting in the Lockstone pack. I’m leaving tomorrow morning, likely before you wake, and I won’t be back until late into the evening.”
Of fucking course. I force a smile, not wanting Caleb to see how annoyed I am. I suppose this isn’t a complete bust, though. This gives me time to look through Caleb’s things. There hasn’t been a good opportunity, and I’m eager to get into the files in the office upstairs.
The bed is empty when I wake the next morning.
I fly out of bed, sprinting downstairs to make sure Caleb’s truly gone.
I’m disappointed to miss the meeting with the alphas, but I’m choosing to look at the bright side of things.
This is my first time alone inside Caleb’s house, and he’s guaranteed to be absent the entire day.
I’m going to search every inch of his space, and hopefully find a weapon. HPAW didn’t exactly provide me with one.
I skid to a stop as I step into the living room, my gaze landing on the freckled woman sitting on the couch. What the fuck is Sash doing here?
She smiles, clasping her hands together as she rises.
“Good morning. I’m sorry for intruding on you without warning, but Caleb said it would be all right for me to come over.
I didn’t expect you to be asleep, but you were and I didn’t really want to run all the way back home or wait outside, so I decided to come in.
I’m sorry if that makes you uncomfortable. ”
I swallow.
Sash continues. “We didn’t exactly get off on the best foot, and I was hoping to remedy that. With Caleb gone for the day, I thought this would be the perfect opportunity to get to know you better.”
You’ve got to be kidding me. My one damned day of freedom, and Sash is here to ruin it. I rock back on my heels, trying and failing to find a way out of this. The only excuse I can think of to give is menstrual or pain-related, but each comes with a unique set of drawbacks.
It hasn’t been confirmed, but I’m reasonably certain that shifters can smell menstrual blood. Sash would know I’m lying. If I say my injuries are bothering me, Caleb will be on my ass. He’s finally stopped treating me like a broken, delicate flower, and I’d rather not return to that.
Sash clears her throat. “We’re family, after all.”
“Sorry, I’m slow to wake. I’m still a little groggy.” I curl my lips, forcing them into a rigid smile. “I’d love that. Thank you.”
Sash’s shoulders relax. She brushes her hands down her pants before stepping around the coffee table.
“Would you like a tour of the pack? Caleb explicitly told me not to overwhelm you, but the pack agrees that he’s being overly protective.
Our pack is beautiful, and you should see more than the inside of his home and office. ”
His home and office are the only places I care to know, but I keep that particular thought to myself. I should be eager to learn more about the pack.
“That sounds amazing.” I glance down at myself. “Just let me get dressed.”
I retreat upstairs, cursing out the gods the entire way. I should’ve just fucking killed Caleb last night and been done with it. Caleb’s sister seems nice, but I really don’t want to get to know her. What if I like her? It’ll only make things more complicated.
I peek out the window. There’s no snow. I could’ve left.
I take my time showering and dressing, a small part of me hoping Sash will be gone when I head back downstairs. She isn’t.
Caleb left the car here, and she takes the initiative to drive me into town. She brings me to a small diner. I try not to look too amazed as we take our seats, not wanting her to realize I’ve never been to a restaurant before. I told the shifters I once worked in one, so I should be familiar.
“Don’t think I didn’t notice you didn’t eat breakfast.” She chuckles. “Order whatever you want. It’s my treat.”
It turns out I like Sash. Her smile is infectious, and she enjoys chatting.
I’m pretty sure she could hold a conversation with a brick wall, which is ideal.
She spends the entire meal telling me about the members of the pack, at least those who live nearby.
I don’t know these people and don’t recognize their names, but Sash doesn’t seem to care.
She pays for our meal, then drags me down the main strip. We pass the coffee shop I went to the other day, and Sash points out the grocery store, library, bank, elementary and middle schools, and even a hairdresser. It’s so…normal.
If it weren’t for the occasional shifter running about in their wolf form, I’d think this is a regular human town. A father is heading toward us, a small boy sitting on his shoulders. Behind them is the mother, her hand clasped tightly around another boy’s hand. The boys look identical. Twins.
They smile at Sash and me as they pass by.
“So…” I clear my throat. “You and Logan are mates.”
Sash bobs her head. “That we are. He’s originally from the Lockstone pack, and we met at a mixer when I was fourteen.
” She pauses, laughing. “He’s four years older than me.
You should’ve seen his face when he realized his mate was only fourteen.
Absolutely horrified. It took a couple of years”—Sash shoots me a sideways smile—“but I eventually won him over.”
Up ahead is a group of women. They look around my age, maybe a bit younger. They’re laughing with one another, big smiles lighting up their faces as they round a corner and head down a side street.
I wonder what it’s like to have friends. Daniel is the closest thing I’d consider to a friend, but it’s very literally his job to keep me safe.
“I’m happy Caleb found you,” Sash continues.
“Really?” I can’t help but take the bait. “You’re not disappointed in me being a human?”
Sash takes a moment to respond, thinking carefully about her following words. “I’m not disappointed, but you being a human does come with a set of challenges.”
“The pack and other alphas losing respect for him?” I guess.
“No.” Sash shakes her head. “Shifters tend to move quickly, especially when they meet during adulthood. Humans are more cautious in relationships. I heard about what happened at the bonfire the other night. I don’t blame you, but my heart goes out to Caleb.
He trusts in the mate bond, and I imagine it’s painful to be paired with a human who doesn’t experience it the same way he does. ”
I don’t know what to say to that, so I choose not to say anything. I’m upset with Caleb for telling me he loved me, especially in such a public setting. He was setting us up for failure. I would’ve been uncomfortable with the confession even if I hadn’t been here on behalf of HPAW.
“Is Grace okay?” I ask, shifting the topic. “Was she disappointed when Caleb called off the engagement?”
I’m not above prying.
Sash shoots me a sideways glance, her eyebrow quirked.
“Grace is fine. She didn’t have any particularly strong feelings toward Caleb.
She only agreed because…” Sash trails off, grimacing.
“Grace wants children, and there aren’t many shifter men willing to donate their sperm.
Their mates would never allow it. Pairing up with an unmated man was her best option. ”
I chew on my bottom lip. I never considered that.
“I assume there are other unmated men for her to pair up with, though?” I ask.
Sash makes a non-committal noise. “Many men feel it’s a betrayal to their mate, even if she’s dead. Caleb was only considering it to make the pack happy.”
“Why would the pack care? I thought the alpha title wasn’t passed through the bloodline?”
“It’s not,” Sash agrees. “But shifters are a family people. They want to see themselves in their alpha, and a perpetual bachelor would make the pack uncomfortable. They want to know that he honors their values.”
Sash clears her throat, then spins to step in front of me. Her eyes are wide in panic. “Please don’t take this to mean that we expect you to have children with Caleb. The pack does hope for them eventually, but they aren’t rushing you.”
A mental image of Caleb with children flashes through my mind. Would he be a good father? Probably, but we’ll never know. Caleb will be dead before a child is even a possibility. I’ll make sure of that.
It’s dark by the time Sash brings me home. I don’t know when to expect Caleb to return, so I decide against searching through his things. I don’t need him catching me, and I especially don’t need the onslaught of questions that would surely follow.