Chapter 23
Chapter Twenty-Three
The remainder of the ride is spent in silence. I try several times to speak, but Caleb turns the volume up before any words find their way out of my mouth. By the time we pull into the winding driveway leading to his home, the music is so loud, my teeth are vibrating.
Sash is sitting on the front porch in nothing more than an oversized T-shirt and a pair of men’s socks. Upon closer inspection, I realize both items belong to Caleb. She must have run here in her wolf form, and my clothes are too small for her.
She jumps to her feet as we make our way up the driveway, and Logan steps out of the doorway behind her. He’s also wearing Caleb’s clothing.
I pull my hands out from underneath my thighs, taking another glance at my mark. What am I supposed to do now? I failed HPAW, and Caleb is done with me. I was raised to believe my purpose in life was to infiltrate the shifter pack and kill Caleb.
I have no education, no hobbies, nothing to fall back on. I don’t even have a family.
“I—” I ignore Caleb’s death glare as I turn down the music. “HPAW told me that shifters killed my parents. I was an orphan, and they said they were going to protect me from you.” My voice cracks. I clear my throat, then continue. “Is that not true?”
Caleb parks the car in the usual spot. He taps his fingers against the wheel, seemingly contemplating my question. My heart is pounding, which I’m sure he can hear.
“I’ll look into it,” he finally says. “You can consider this my final kindness. Don’t ask me for anything else.”
He steps out of the car, the door slamming shut behind him.
Sash runs to him, her body a blur until she crashes into his chest. Her mouth is moving, her eyebrows furrowed and lips pursed. Caleb says something to her, and her sharp gaze cuts in my direction. Pure hatred shines in her brown eyes, but it shifts into pain as she turns back to Caleb.
He shakes his head at something she says, then jerks his head toward the road.
She hesitates, but then she and Logan silently pull off their clothes, transform into their wolf forms, and disappear. Caleb walks inside his house, not once looking back at the car.
I remain where I am. The car gradually grows cold, and eventually, I have no choice but to follow Caleb inside. He’s nowhere to be seen, but I hear him stomping around upstairs.
I clench and unclench my fists, hesitating, before tiptoeing up the stairs. They’re splattered with blood.
The primary bedroom door is open. I rock back on my heels as I stare at a bloodied handprint wrapping around the door frame, then continue moving. There’s so much blood. There’s no way Sash and Logan will fall for the cheating lie, not if they saw this.
The bedsheets are soaked through, and the floor is covered. I wrap my arms around my waist, hugging myself as I notice the handprint on the end table. It’s smeared, dragging toward the wall.
Caleb was struggling to stand.
He’s now beside the closet door, his chest heaving as he stares at the bloody bedsheets. He refuses to look in my direction.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper.
His entire body stiffens. “You aren’t.”
He rips open the closet door and begins grabbing my things. I step aside, moving out of his way as he carries them into the guest bedroom down the hall.
“I’ll have an apartment in town prepared for you,” he says as he returns, barely sparing me a glance. “You’ll stay in the guest room until it’s ready.”
I clear my throat. “Okay.”
It takes Caleb several trips to empty my side of the closet, and almost three for him to bring my toiletries and bathroom luxuries to the hallway bathroom.
He doesn’t need to tell me that’s the one I’ll be using from now on.
I’ve gotten the hint.
I wring my hands before realizing the movement makes the dried blood on my palms flake. Disgusting. My lip curls as I look down, watching blood specks fall onto the floor.
Caleb rips the sheets off the bed.
He grunts. “You can leave now.”
His eyes are dark and void of emotion. Still, I search his expression for something—anything. I find nothing, and after a tense few seconds, I leave. The door slams shut behind me.
I choke up as I step into the spare bedroom, but I refuse to let things go any further than that. I don’t cry. My things have been thrown haphazardly on the unmade bed, forming a large, messy pile. I collapse into the chair beside the dresser.
What am I supposed to do now?
I lick my thumb and wipe at my mark, secretly hoping it only looks so dark because there’s dirt on my hand. The dirt wipes away. The mark remains the same. Panic floods my system, and I start using my nail instead.
I scratch my skin until it’s red and raw. The hazy blackness never changes.
The guest bedroom door bursts open just as my skin begins to bleed. Caleb is freshly cleaned and dressed, his hair still wet. How long have I been sitting here? His gaze travels to my hand, to where I’m frantically scratching at my mark.
“I recommend having the skin removed at the hospital,” he says. “Your method will only introduce bacteria. I’d rather you not die of an infection on my watch.”
I shake my head. “I’m not trying to remove my mark. I’m—”
“I don’t really care,” he says, interrupting. “I’m leaving, and I recommend you be on your best behavior while I’m gone. The house is being monitored, and I assume Sash has been efficient in my order to inform the shifters of your infidelity and our dead bond.”
What about the blood she clearly saw? She and Logan were wearing Caleb’s clothing, so they must have come up here. Caleb probably told her the truth. She’s his sister, after all.
Caleb licks his lips, aimlessly glancing around the room. He’s acting as if this conversation bores him, as if he’s so completely done with me that he can’t even be bothered to be in the same room with me.
It’s a lie. I know it’s a lie.
“The shifters have been alerted that you’re a flight risk. If you step foot outside of this house, they have orders to bring you back with whatever means necessary. I wouldn’t expect them to be gentle.”
I snort. “I wasn’t.”
Caleb raises a brow, finally giving me his full attention. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I’ve seen the way you treat one another.”
“Explain.”
I shrug. “That first time you brought me to your office. We drove past those two wolves attacking that young man. He was in his skin form, and they were circling him and biting his legs. They tore out his calf.”
“Are you talking about the Dawson brothers?” Caleb barks out a laugh. “They were playing, Evelyn. The Dawson brothers are adolescents, still new to their wolf forms. The one in his skin form has trouble shifting. The other two were trying to provoke his wolf side to emerge.”
“They tore out his fucking calf,” I repeat.
“Of course they did. Shifters heal quickly.” Caleb gestures to his throat, showing his already healed skin.
“Pain is what draws out his wolf. If a shifter doesn’t learn how to transition at will, he’ll lose himself.
He’ll spend his entire life feeling trapped in his own body.
His brothers love him. They’re willing to do what it takes to help. ”
I fall silent.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” I ask.
“Why would I?” Caleb runs his hands through his hair. “I don’t know what you do and don’t know about shifters, and I wasn’t going to treat my mate as if she were stupid. I figured if you didn’t understand something, you’d trust me enough to ask. Clearly, I was wrong.”
Caleb leaves. His heavy footsteps fade as he heads downstairs, and the front door slams shut a minute later. Where is he going? Probably to work.
I suppose I should shower.
My movements are mechanical as I grab a change of clothes and head into the hallway bathroom. It’s smaller than the one Caleb and I shared, but I refuse to torture myself by dwelling on the change. I strip out of Caleb’s shirt.
Will he ask for it back? Probably not.
What should I do about HPAW? What should I do about myself? I doubt I’ll be given another chance to escape, and even if I am, I’m not sure I want to take it. What are the odds that Caleb is telling me the truth? If HPAW has been lying this entire time, there’s no telling where their limits are.
What if he’s lying, though? Would he lie about that? Would HPAW? My mind is reeling, and I don’t know who to believe. I’m just a pawn. I’ve always been just a pawn.
The shower is scalding, and I stand underneath the spray until my skin loses feeling. The burn doesn’t make me feel any better, and I mindlessly clean myself before getting out and getting dressed.
I need to talk to Caleb. I need to understand.
If what he says is true… I can’t fathom that thought. What if he is truly good? What if he truly trusted and loved me, and I destroyed it all for a lie? Have I just betrayed the only person who has ever been truthful to me?
I clutch at my chest.
Should I expect to live within the Knox pack until I grow old and die? What will Caleb do? Will he return to his original plan to marry Grace? My lungs constrict. Will I be forced to watch them grow a family? Will I see their children running around town?
That sounds like perfect torture—forced to watch Caleb grow his family and live a long, fulfilling life while I wither away in some sad apartment. I doubt I’ll ever even make a friend. The shifters will hate me when they’re told I was unfaithful to Caleb.
They treasure their bonds, and their alpha. They’ll never forgive me.
I eye my blackened mark. Can a mark lighten? If what Caleb says is true and I can prove I’m loyal by lightening my mark, will he be open to forgiving me? I doubt it. I slit his fucking throat.
I head downstairs, painfully aware the house is being monitored. The car keys are missing, and when I peek out the front door, a wolf I don’t recognize is lying on the porch. It straightens up, its brown eyes narrowing as it shifts into a threatening crouch.
I retreat inside.
There’s another wolf in the backyard.
Unsure of what else to do and desperate for some sense of normalcy, I start cleaning. Tidying is mindless, and it offers the distraction I’m craving. It takes hours to clean all the blood, and my arms ache from the scrubbing, but I don’t stop.
HPAW threatens to fill my mind, but I push those thoughts aside. I don’t have the mental capacity to process all that’s happened today.
Caleb doesn’t come home at his usual time. Eventually, the sky grows dark and I can’t find anything left to clean. I sit on the couch, staring blankly at the front door.
I was convinced that either I would kill Caleb or I would die. There was no alternative where we both survive, and there especially wasn’t an alternative where he discovers I’m a part of HPAW and decides to keep me captive in his pack. Why didn’t he just kill me?
It’s probably the mate bond. Caleb may not want to be with me, but that doesn’t necessarily mean he wants me dead. I suppose that should make me feel good, but it doesn’t.
I’ve always had a concrete goal to structure my life toward, and I’m useless without one.
I jolt as the front door bursts open. Caleb stumbles inside, unsteady on his feet as he barrels into the foyer. Sash and Logan are behind him, each one holding an arm.
Is Caleb drunk? He can barely stand, and he laughs maniacally as Logan practically carries him up the stairs. Caleb doesn’t once look at me.
Sash lingers at the bottom of the stairs, watching the two ascend. She’s on me the minute they’re out of sight. My head snaps to the side, her slap so intense, my teeth rattle and an immediate headache blooms in my temples.
“You’re a fucking cunt, Evelyn,” she hisses, “and if I had my way, you’d be dead.”
My mouth is open, but I have nothing to say. My head aches, and it takes everything in me not to cradle my burning cheek. I deserved that slap, and I wonder if she did it because she believes I cheated on Caleb or because she knows I tried to kill him.
“I hope you enjoy the pain you’ll feel when my brother fucks his new mate,” she continues.
I take a step back. What is she talking about?
Sash must recognize my confusion as she smiles, her face alight with glee.
“You don’t know, do you?” Her smile grows.
“You killed the bond, so Caleb is free to take a wife.” She grabs my hand, ripping it toward her.
I flinch as she trails her finger over my blackened mark.
“Your side is dead, so he won’t feel anything, but Caleb has been faithful to you.
His mark remains white, so you’ll feel everything. ”
“Let her go.” Logan descends the stairs, taking two at a time as he eyes my contact with Sash. His gaze travels to my cheek, lingering on the burning skin where Sash struck me. “Knox gave you explicit orders not to harm her. Did you hit her?”
Sash releases me, stepping back. “No, of course not.” Her stern gaze settles on me. “Did I hit you, Evelyn?”
I swallow, my throat dry, before shaking my head. “No, you didn’t.”
“See?”
Logan hums, grabbing Sash by the elbow and pulling her outside. The front door slams shut behind them, and I sink to the floor. I’m exhausted.