Chapter 26
Chapter Twenty-Six
My eyes are swollen when I wake the next morning. I spend several minutes staring at the ceiling, working up the courage to climb out of bed. I’m not sure what time it is, but I can tell it’s early.
Caleb moves about the house. He’s silent, but an occasional floorboard creaks and gives away his movements. His feet thump against the wooden steps as he heads downstairs.
I’ve been brainwashed.
I doubt the shifters were responsible for my parents’ deaths, if they’re even dead.
Maybe HPAW killed them, or maybe they lied to me about everything.
Caleb said he’d look into it, and I hope he finds answers.
I don’t remember my family much, but I want to know what happened to them.
Were they punished for hiding a marked child?
They must’ve known who my mate was. The image of Caleb’s mark was plastered everywhere.
I force myself out of bed and into a fresh change of clothes, then follow Caleb downstairs. He’s sitting at the kitchen counter, a steaming mug clutched within his palms. He doesn’t look up as I enter the room, but his body tenses just slightly.
“HPAW found me when I was seven,” I start. “They’re all I’ve ever known.”
Caleb said his piece, but now it’s my turn. I’ll never forgive myself if I don’t tell him the entire truth. It’s humiliating to admit I was fooled, but I’m willing to sacrifice my pride if it means finding common ground with Caleb.
“I saw the photograph of your mark and knew I was your mate. I snuck out of my home, hopped on a bus, and traveled into the shifter lands. The borders weren’t well patrolled back then…
” I clear my throat, then continue. “I thought the idea of having a mate was romantic, and I went searching for you. I thought if I ran into a shifter and showed them my mark, they’d direct me to you. ”
Caleb straightens up. “They likely would have.”
“I ran into HPAW’s border control instead.”
If Caleb is going to leave me, he’s going to do so having all the facts.
“They brought me to their headquarters and questioned me,” I continue. “It went on for hours, and eventually, they came in and told me that my parents went into the shifter lands searching for me. They said my parents were mauled to death and I was now an orphan.”
I can’t help but laugh. Saying it now, it all sounds so stupid. They were manipulating me, but I was a child. As I grew older, I became so entrenched in their beliefs that it never occurred to me to question them.
I draw in a breath. “I lived in an HPAW facility for over fifteen years. I was exposed to the content and education they approved. I was told so many gruesome, horrific things about you and the shifters, and I truly believed the only way to save my people was to kill you.”
Caleb stares into his mug, silent.
“You’d sacrifice me if it meant saving the shifters, wouldn’t you?” I ask. Caleb doesn’t answer, so I continue. “You would. You’d have no choice. You’re the alpha, and we both know you couldn’t spare my life at the detriment of theirs. It wouldn’t be right.”
Caleb still doesn’t look up.
“I thought I was saving the humans, Caleb. I love you. That wasn’t a lie, but I was doing what I thought I had to do. This was never about what I wanted. This was about duty. I had a duty to the humans, and I couldn’t let one person stand in the way of that.”
“You didn’t ask,” Caleb says after a drawn-out silence. “All you had to do was ask, Evelyn. If you truly loved me, you would’ve asked. You would’ve given me the benefit of the doubt. You would’ve at least let yourself consider the possibility that I wasn’t the monster HPAW made me out to be.”
“But…”
“Besides,” Caleb continues. He gestures to my blackened, fuzzy mark. “It’s too late. Our bond is dead.”
I can’t believe this. “What’s your plan, then? You pick another woman? You fuck and have a family with her while I’m forced to sit back and watch?”
“I won’t deny you a good life,” Caleb says, shrugging. “I’ve spread word that you were unfaithful. It will take the shifters a while to see past that, but they will with time. Males who have lost their mate will approach you, and I won’t stand in their way.”
His frown deepens. “I’d send you to live with another pack, but I can’t in good faith do that, given your history with HPAW.
I’d have to inform the other alpha, and I can’t guarantee that they’d keep the information secret, or that they’d even accept you into their pack. Our children are vulnerable…”
He fears I’d hurt the children. I would never.
“It will take a while for my mark to blacken as yours has,” Caleb says. “But it will with time. A dead bond can’t be sustained. Once mine has blackened, we’ll be entirely free of one another.”
I resist the urge to scoff. “We’ll never be free of one another, Caleb. I’m drawn to you. Every molecule of my body is tied to yours. I know you feel the pull, too.”
Caleb cocks his head to the side. “I don’t feel it. When your mark turned black, your end of the bond died. The sparks are gone. The pull to you is gone. You’re no longer my mate.”
No. That’s simply not true.
“I don’t want anybody else,” I admit. “I can lighten my mark, can’t I?
If it can grow darker, surely, it can also grow lighter.
” I drag my hands down my face. “I want you to tell the truth about me. Tell your pack that I was a member of HPAW and tried to kill you. I’ll earn their trust. I’ll earn yours, too. ”
Caleb throws back the remainder of his drink, then rounds the table and crouches before me, bringing us eye level with one another.
“I don’t want to be with you, Evelyn,” he says.
“I understand you were lied to, and I don’t hold that against you, but that doesn’t change things for me.
I don’t want to be with a woman who tried to kill me.
I don’t want to be with a woman who so greedily and selfishly took from me.
” Caleb brushes my hair out of my face, tucking a strand behind my ear.
“You knowingly took everything I held dear and ruined it.”
I step back, sinking into a dining chair.
“I’m doing you a kindness by lying about the true reason for our split,” Caleb continues. “Many have lost loved ones to HPAW, and I won’t subject you to that level of hatred.”
He leaves for work, not casting me another glance or sparing me a single word.
I remain in the dining room, still reeling from our conversation.
I can’t entirely blame him. I wouldn’t want to be with a man who tried to murder me, or who slept with me knowing full well it meant different things to us both.
Several hours pass before the front door opens and Caleb returns. Two men are with him, Logan and another I don’t recognize. He’s young and slim, maybe in his late teens, but he looks like a carbon copy of Logan.
Are they related?
Neither of them looks in my direction as they head upstairs. Caleb hesitates in the doorway before making his way to me.
“Your apartment is in the center of town, near my office,” he says. “It’s a walkable location, so you should be able to get to everything you need.”
My gaze travels to his hand, my heart pounding as I take in its new state. The crisp, white lines are now a light pink, the change subtle but most definitely there. Mine took years to darken, and I assumed Caleb’s would be the same.
“How long will it take for it to turn black?” I ask.
Caleb shrugs. “A few months, maybe. I’m not sure. This isn’t common among shifters.”
I’m not surprised to hear that. They cherish their mates.
“And you’ll take a new mate right away?” I’m asking questions I know will only hurt me, but I can’t stop. I’m a glutton for punishment.
Caleb shifts his weight from one foot to the other. He looks uncomfortable with the topic. “I’ll take a wife, not a mate,” he finally says. “Shifters are only given one mate, and I’d never dishonor the sanctity of the mate bond by giving any other woman that title.”
He still hasn’t answered my question.
“And how long will you wait to take a wife?”
“I don’t know.” Caleb frowns. “I haven’t thought about it. It’s hard for shifters to conceive outside the mate bond, so I don’t have the luxury of waiting. My children will likely have dominant wolves. It’s not within the pack’s best interest for me to postpone.”
So, he’ll be taking a wife immediately. I debate offering to carry his children, to serve his needs so he doesn’t have to take a wife, but I refuse to stoop to that level. I may not have much dignity, but I have some.
Logan and the young shifter come downstairs with my clothes. They leave the front door open, and I watch as they throw everything into the back of Caleb’s car. They’re back a minute later, heading upstairs to get the remainder of my things.
“Come on.” Caleb gestures for me to follow him.
I do without pause, my fight gone. I aimlessly slip on my bright-orange coat and yank my hat over my head, then follow him onto the frigid front porch.
Caleb pulls a card out of his wallet. “Here.” He hands it over. “Use this for whatever you need. Groceries. Furniture. It doesn’t matter.”
My hand shakes as I accept the credit card.
Logan and the shifter return with the last of my items.
“Do you want me to take her?” Logan asks Caleb.
Logan doesn’t look in my direction, pointedly ignoring my existence. I’m sure he’s not feeling any soft emotions toward me right now. He probably wants to rip my throat out, just as Sash does.
“I’ll take her,” Caleb says.
Logan frowns, his gaze briefly flashing toward me. He makes no attempts to hide his disgust as he looks me over, his lip curling and back stiffening. Caleb straightens up, and Logan silently averts his gaze.
“Are you sure?” Logan asks.
Caleb nods. “Yes.”
Tension mounts between them before Logan submissively dips his chin and leaves, transforming into his wolf form and disappearing into the woods.
The walk to Caleb’s car is painful, and the short drive to the apartment is even worse. It’s indeed in the center of town, only two blocks over from his office.
The brick building looks cozy from the outside, three stories tall and covered in overgrown vines.
The first floor houses a cute pottery studio, and Caleb leads me to a black-painted door to the right of the entrance.
There’s one small step leading to the door and a buzzer on the wall.
I scan the names listed in the glass box until I find mine.
It’s in Caleb’s handwriting, and it looks like he wrote ‘Ev’ before changing his mind and writing out the full ‘Evelyn.’ The ‘Ev’ is centered and large, and the remainder of my name is small and squished.
I’m Apartment 3B.
Caleb pulls out a small keychain. It holds a fob and two individual keys.
“The smaller one is for the mailbox,” he explains, waving the fob in front of the scanner above the door handle.
The door clicks as it unlocks, and warm air smacks me in the face as Caleb pushes the door open. It leads to a narrow hallway, with a staircase at the end. I wrap my arms around myself as I step inside.
Mailboxes are built into the wall on the right.
“There are four units in this building,” Caleb says. “I’ve signed you up for a year lease and prepaid, so you shouldn’t have to worry about rent. I figure a year is enough time for you to get yourself sorted.”
Caleb follows me up the staircase. I’m winded by the time I reach the third floor. There are two doors, the one on the left labeled 3A and the one on the right 3B. Caleb unlocks my door and pushes it open.
I step inside.
The apartment is beautiful, an open-concept space with giant windows and hardwood floors.
The kitchen is modern, and a sizable island opens to the main living area.
It’s already furnished. An oversized gray couch sits in the center of the living room facing a fireplace, complete with end tables and lamps.
A TV is mounted on the wall opposite the couch, with pictures strategically hanging around it.
I step onto the plush rug covering most of the living room floor.
The place is beautifully decorated, but I don’t want to be here.
I want to stay home with Caleb and pretend none of this ever happened. I want to go back to how things were.
There’s a short hallway just past the kitchen. A door on the left opens to a bathroom, and I scan the walk-in shower and stocked shelves before turning and pushing open the door on the other side. It’s a laundry room.
The bedroom is last. It’s practically a duplicate of the room I shared with Caleb, the green bedding almost identical. A dresser and mirror sit across from the bed, and a set of doors leads to a small walk-in closet.
“I’ll bring your things up,” Caleb says.
“I’ll help you.”
He waves me away, rejecting the offer before retreating down the hallway and out the front door. I listen to it slam shut, and the second I know I’m alone, I sink to the ground. This isn’t what I want.
I allow myself only ten seconds to wallow in self-pity before walking into the bathroom and splashing water on my face. My reflection in the mirror above the sink taunts me. I look like shit, my hair a mess and my cheeks splotchy. Logan probably got a kick out of seeing me look so pathetic.
Caleb returns with an armful of my belongings. He sets them on the floor just inside the apartment before disappearing again. I struggle not to panic when he makes his final trek.
“This phone works.” He points to a landline hanging on the kitchen wall. There’s a pad of paper on the counter beside it. “I’ve written my phone number there. Call if you’re pregnant.”
I wince.
Caleb continues. “I’m going to leave now.”
I nod. “Okay.” A brief pause, then, “I’m not the woman you think I am. I was selfish, but that’s not who I am. There’s more to me than you think.”
I sound crazy—obsessive, even. I don’t care. Shifters are territorial and possessive. They like crazy. Besides, I mean what I say. Caleb saw the worst possible side of me, but that’s not who I am. I was playing a role, pretending to be somebody I’m not, and I’m going to prove that to him.
Caleb sighs. “All right, Evelyn.”
He doesn’t believe me, but I don’t care. I refuse to be reduced to the role of HPAW’s puppet. There’s more to me than that. There has to be.