Fourteen
FOURTEEN
Greyson
“I think you should know how much this meant to me today, Greyson. Thank you for this.”
I wracked my brain, attempting to discern the precise moment in my life when I did something so great as to warrant what I was getting now. For so long, I had wondered what it was like, what it meant to nearly two dozen men I considered friends, to have this. To have something even close to this.
Sure, I’d dated over the years. In thirty-two years of life, I’d had three long-term relationships. One in high school would have never lasted much beyond graduation. We were both far too young and didn’t know the first thing about what we wanted in a relationship. Two others after I graduated and had finished my time in the military—one lasting a year, the other just shy of two years.
I’d done the random hookups and one-night stands in between all of that, and I quickly learned that wasn’t for me.
And despite how much I didn’t see Cierra as anything close to that, it had pained me to walk away from her last night when I dropped her off after our date. But no matter how much I wanted her like that, I wanted more time like this. More time to form a connection with her that wouldn’t be so easy to walk away from—for either one of us.
So, if nothing else, I was grateful she’d asked me if I wanted to see her again. I didn’t think she truly believed I wasn’t interested in it, but I loved that she was willing to put it out there, that maybe she wanted to spend more time together, at least as much as I did.
But now it seemed she felt compelled to thank me.
Unfortunately, I couldn’t begin to understand why.
While I was relieved to know that I was doing things that made Cierra happy, the words expressing her appreciation were entirely unnecessary. Simply being around her, seeing her, and spending time together was enough for me. “It was just a walk through the park.”
With a sweet smile on her face, she shook her head in dissent, the warm spring sun making her hair shimmer even more than usual. It was a constant effort to keep my hands to myself and out of her locks.
“It wasn’t just a walk through the park.” She was radiating such happiness; I felt a flutter in my chest at the sight of it. Cierra swept her hand out to everything splayed before us. “It was this picnic you packed for us, too. And it was the company and the conversation.”
Okay, so I had made it seem much simpler than it was. I had gone through and put forth the effort to make this special for her. For us.
But even still, this felt like no big deal when it came to the work I felt compelled to put in with her. The way I saw it, a walk in the park warranted a picnic. And the conversation? Well, that was a given whenever I was around her. That was the whole point of this anyway, wasn’t it? We’d said as much last night.
Evidently, Cierra hadn’t relayed all that our day together had meant to her. “But most of all, Greyson, it was the freedom for me to do this again that made it extra special for me.”
Confused, I tipped my head to the side, searching for answers to the questions that immediately popped into my head. “Freedom to do this again? What does that mean?”
“I guess when I told you about the things I like to do in the summer, I forgot to mention this one other thing. I like to go for walks.”
A crease formed between my brows. “And you stopped?”
The light in her eyes dimmed, and she dropped her gaze to her lap, where her fingers were toying with the material of the dress she’d worn today. Showing up this morning to pick her up, I hadn’t anticipated seeing her dressed like she was. But I loved it. I loved how feminine she was, how effortlessly beautiful and sexy she was.
“My home is only a twelve-minute walk from the school, so when school starts at the end of the summer, I often spend those first few weeks walking to and from work. I enjoy having the time to clear my head and prepare for the day ahead or unwind after a long one. Obviously, once the weather turns and it gets too cold outside, I have no choice but to take my car. We’ve had a few nice days recently, and I’ve wanted to walk, but I wasn’t sure it was a smart idea with so many unknowns about Richard’s intentions circling. So, I’ve decided it’s probably best to be on the safe side and just continue driving for these last few weeks of the school year. But it’s so frustrating to not be able to do something I used to look forward to doing.”
Cierra’s need to show her appreciation now made sense. “I’m sorry you’ve needed to stop because you feel afraid, but I will say that I’m proud of you for recognizing that it’s the safest option for you right now.”
She sent a half-hearted smile my way and huffed. “Will it always be like this? Do you think I’ll feel safe to go out and do things like that ever again?”
“I certainly hope you won’t always feel this way. And I promise I’m going to do everything I can to make sure that you can do the things you enjoy without fearing for your safety.”
“You make me forget,” she shared.
“Forget what?”
Shaking her head, a look of disappointment marred her expression. “I’m very bad at doing the one thing you taught me to do from the start. You told me how important situational awareness is, and I realized quickly I was never doing it, no matter where I was or who I was with. I’ve been trying to implement that every time I leave the house now, but there have been a few instances when I’ve forgotten to be mindful of what’s happening around me. And it always happens whenever I’m with you.”
A slow grin spread across my face. “That’s the one time when you don’t need to be on alert, Cierra.”
“What?”
I reached for her hand and took it in both of mine. Sandwiching it between my palms, I explained, “When you’re with me, you do not need to be worried about what’s happening around you. That doesn’t mean you can’t, of course. But it’s not necessary. I will always be looking out for you, and I’ll do whatever it takes to protect you. You’re always going to be safe whenever you’re with me.”
She breathed a sigh of relief. “I’ve been stressed about that, because it’s so hard to think about any of that stuff when I’m with you.”
That was all I needed to hear to know what I was doing with and for her was the right thing. The effort I was putting in was going to be worth it. I didn’t have a crystal ball; I certainly couldn’t tell what the future held, but I was convinced there was something special about Cierra.
I laughed, lifting her hand to my lips and pressing a kiss on her knuckles. “I never want you to feel stressed, especially not when we’re spending time together.”
That did it.
It was just what Cierra needed to hear to let go of the last bits of tension and lean toward me. I released her hand and wrapped my arm around her back, happy to pull her close.
She tipped her chin up, smiling brightly once again, before she touched her lips to mine in a chaste kiss. “Maybe we should spend time together all the time, so I never have to feel stressed, then.”
My arm tightened around her, and I pressed another kiss to her lips. I couldn’t get enough of her. “It’s not going to take much to convince me that’s a good idea.”
She pursed her lips and arched a brow. “Don’t you think you’d get bored? I mean, what would we do with each other all that time?”
If only she knew about a fraction of the things I wanted to do with and to her…
“I’m sure we can figure it out. There’s nothing about you I find boring, and I think it’d be a long time before I ever felt that way. Honestly, I don’t think it’d ever reach that point for me.”
“That’s good to know, because I feel the same about you.”
I didn’t know if she realized it, but when Cierra looked at me like that, she made it harder and harder for me to remain a gentleman. God, I wanted to have her look at me like that with those beautiful eyes while she had those lips on other parts of my body.
Needing to snap myself out of it, needing a slight reprieve, so I wouldn’t do something to get us kicked out of the park or worse, I asked, “So, what do you think? Are you ready for me to give you a push on the swing?”
Her face lit up. “I thought you were joking about that.”
I shook my head, smiling back at her. “Not at all.”
Cierra bit her lip, the excitement radiating from her. “I’ve been thinking about it since you mentioned it last night.”
“Well, let’s go, then.”
With that, I stood, held out my hand to her, and helped her up. We left our things on the blanket, which we’d be able to see from the playground, and made our way to the swings. And once she hopped on one and I got her going, I had to admit it worked out better than I had anticipated.
Because for the first time, my hands finally got to touch places on her they hadn’t before. Sure, I didn’t get to squeeze her ass like I might have wanted to, but I didn’t mind. We were taking this slow, and I was having a blast.
Cierra
I couldn’t remember the last time I’d been on a swing. I might have been eleven or twelve. And it had certainly been sometime years before when someone had actually pushed me on a swing.
There was a part of me that thought I’d feel nostalgic about this, but that wasn’t it at all.
Nope.
In this moment, as I gripped the chains on the swing tightly, the wind whipping through my hair, and Greyson’s hands just barely touching my ass to push me higher and higher, I felt euphoric.
It was the only word I could think that would describe everything about this.
I tipped my head back, closed my eyes, and relished the feeling of absolute weightlessness. All the worries I had about the slow pace of my learning self-defense, the possibility of Richard coming after me, or even the final few weeks of school didn’t exist for me right now.
When I first hopped on and Greyson pushed me, it took me a minute to remember how to do it. He’d been encouraging and careful not to push too hard until I was soaring through the air with a bit of confidence and ease.
I hadn’t wiped the smile off my face the entire time. I hadn’t laughed this much in years.
It was perfect.
Every single second of it.
And it was all thanks to Greyson.
As much as I loved what was happening and wanted to continue to feel his hands push against me, I wanted him to enjoy this, too.
“Hop on the one next to me,” I yelled out.
“What?”
“Swing with me!”
Greyson gave me one final push before he hopped on the swing beside mine. I was glad there were very few people here at the park, because it gave us the opportunity to enjoy this without a crowd or even a line of children waiting to use the swings—maybe they’d all gone home for lunch or had birthday parties or sporting events to attend.
I didn’t care what the reason was; the warmth infusing me at being able to experience this with Greyson was all that mattered to me.
It took him almost no time to reach the same height as me, and for a long while, the two of us just continued to swing and laugh and stare at each other. It was the most magical moment of my entire life.
But eventually, especially without the help of Greyson pushing me, my legs and hands got tired. So, I allowed myself to drift back and forth, not going nearly as high as I had been, doing that until I’d come to a complete stop at the bottom.
Greyson had done the same, and for a few moments, we stayed seated there, something passing between us in our extended stares.
I couldn’t read him. I didn’t know what he was thinking.
But I knew how I felt. After the last couple of days with him, one thing was flashing in my mind like a neon sign. And I couldn’t seem to stop myself before I blurted out my question.
“What are you looking for?”
Greyson must have been deep in thought, because he seemed startled by the sound of my voice. “Pardon?”
“I’ve had a lot of fun with you these past couple of days, and I’d have to say that today has been the best,” I began. “I hope things continue to be like that. I hope every day we spend together is better than the last. Last night, you and I talked about wanting to explore this between us, about feeling an attraction to one another. I guess I’m just wondering what you’re looking for. What do you hope to get out of dating me?”
I thought my question was the kind of question that warranted at least a few moments of consideration. But it was almost as though Greyson himself had been thinking about this very thing at that moment, too, because his response was immediate.
“For the last several years, I’ve been watching as my friends and coworkers have met and fallen in love with women who have completely changed their lives for the better. They were all good men long before they got involved with anyone, but somehow, they’re even better men now. And I know that has to do with the woman standing beside each of them. I want that. I want to find someone who makes me want to be a better man. I want to find someone who makes me happy. I’m not getting any younger, and I want more out of my life. I want a solid partner to come home to every night, a woman to lose myself in every weekend, and a wife to build a future and a family with. I don’t think my life is bad now, not by any means, but I know that a good woman will make it that much better.”
My mouth went slack; my throat parched.
I thought he’d say he was looking for a long or short-term relationship or something like that. I thought he’d mention wanting to just have a good time or not wanting to put any labels on anything. Or, even if I believed he was a bit more serious, I expected him to say something along the lines of wanting to find the one. What I got instead was so much more than that.
And it was good.
So good.
Greyson was serious about a future, and if he wasn’t genuinely interested in me, I didn’t think he’d be here, sitting on a swing beside me.
“I think that’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard anyone say.”
The corners of his mouth tipped up. “I’m just glad you’re not running in the opposite direction after I spewed all that.”
“Are you kidding me? I’m tempted to crawl into your lap.” He sent a mischievous grin my way, but I ignored it. “I like that you know what you want and that you aren’t afraid to share it with me. I’m thirty, Greyson, so I’m not getting any younger, either. I don’t want to play games.”
“I don’t know what’ll happen three weeks, months, or years from now, but I know what I feel in this moment. If this continues with us just like this, I don’t need to see what’s ahead. There isn’t anything that would lead me to giving this up, to giving you up.”
A lump formed in my throat. “You’re going to make me cry.”
As soon as I got the words out, he stood and reached his hand out to me. I placed mine in it, and he hauled me up against his body. Wrapping both arms around me, Greyson lifted me slightly off the ground. “No crying, pretty lady. Today is supposed to be about making you smile.”
I couldn’t help myself. I threw my arms over his shoulders, buried my face in his neck, and burst into tears.
I knew it only took one person to make a difference in someone’s life.
Was it possible Greyson was that one person for me?