Three
Ava
It hadn’t always been bitter between Kai and me. Once upon a time, we had shared a normal conversation. We had even laughed together, shot the shit. It was during those early days before our parents announced they were getting married. Kai had been almost human back then.
And now, I wasn’t sure what he was.
The night Gerard and Suki announced their nuptials when I was fifteen, things changed overnight. Kai became a tormentor more than a friend, bossing me around like the little sister I wasn’t. He had wiped away my girlish infatuation and, in its place, grew resentment; a deep-rooted type that slowly decayed the soul.
And he never believed what had been happening under his nose.
As I padded barefoot to the window, I realised my phone wasn’t in my jeans. Kai must have taken it, although who would I call? My mother was the only family I had. I also couldn’t chance calling Anton and Kai learning of his involvement in what went down with Gerard.
No, Anton would be worried, but we needed radio silence, for the time being. As far as anyone else was concerned, Anton Quinn was an old friend with an apartment I had been staying in.
Staring at the countryside through the window, I knew I was in England. I’d never been to this house but I could tell from the landscape, the colour of the grass and that bleak British sky.
Being back in London wasn’t so bad but as what? As Kai’s captive? I had no way of knowing what he was going to do. And why was he keeping my mother so close? There had to be a reason, Kai always had one.
I glanced around the room. It was decorated in pale blues and gold. The flooring was polished oak and clearly expensive; not the cheap laminate shit that Anton had in his apartment.
Spying the bathroom, I went to pull the door open and peeked inside. The suite was white and it was spotlessly clean with various toiletries dotted across the shelving. Girly stuff which suggested the bathroom belonged to a woman. If Kai had put me up in one of his tart’s rooms, I think I’d be sick.
As I was staring aimlessly into the bathroom, there was a knock on the bedroom door and I walked warily over to it.
Pulling it ajar, I stuck my head through the crack and was faced with the chest of the man I saw earlier, Cillian. I craned my neck. He appeared much taller up close with a threatening vibe naturally radiating from his wide shoulders. He was dressed impeccably; enforcer indeed, aka contract killer.
“Yes?” I said with a definite narky tone which made him smile.
“You look exactly like your pictures.”
My eyes narrowed, “You’ve seen my picture?”
“Yes. Your mother talks about you all the time,” he said, his voice deep and thick. The resentment I’d seen earlier appeared to have gone.
“And you are?” I said rudely, needing to know his full name.
“Cillian Connors.”
Cillian Connors; I’d heard him called by just his surname before. He was a hitman who worked for the Kinlans; fucking great.
“I can see by your expression that you’ve heard of me, but don’t believe everything they say.”
“Sorry, but I firmly believe that there’s no smoke without fire,” I muttered, and he nodded.”
“Very wise.” There was a beat of silence before he added, “I imagine you're wondering what your mother is doing here.”
Shrugging my shoulders, I grunted, “Not at all. She explained it. You divorce husbands, not children—apparently.”
“I’m sure you’ll have plenty of time to catch up properly tomorrow,” Connors said. Did I imagine a flicker of sympathy? Probably.
I rolled my eyes, “What do you want?”
His eyes crinkled at the sides as his smile became much wider. “Kai wants you to dress for dinner. It’s at six sharp, in the dining room on the ground floor.”
I glanced down at my tatty clothes. “In what, may I ask?”
Cillian nodded towards the wardrobes behind me on the opposite side of the room to the windows. “You should have everything you need. I would suggest you don’t shower just yet. Dr Farmer only recently changed your dressing,” he said, motioning towards the bandage wrapped around my side. Farmer. That bloody butcher.
“Fine.” I then closed the door in his face. The noise of his laughter echoed as he walked away. So, I amused him; like I was a fucking clown or something. Bastard.
Shaking off those useless thoughts, I walked into the bathroom and carefully lifted off my tank top so I didn’t pull my side. I then tugged off my jeans and shed my underwear.
I gave myself a strip wash and then wrapped a towel around my body before seeing what the wardrobe contained.
There were drawers in there with underwear, all my sizes and new with the tags on. I suddenly felt like Alice going down the rabbit hole, it was so surreal.
The wardrobe contained loads of dresses and the shelving to the side was stocked with jeans, coloured tops, and T-shirts.
Kai had ordered me to dress for dinner and so in true Ava style, I did the opposite.
I pulled out a matching underwear set in plain white cotton and tugged on tight skinny jeans and a pink tee, carefully sliding the material over my bandage.
Shoving my feet into black ballet flats, I peered at my reflection in the mirror. My mother was right, I looked pale and drawn and borderline scrawny. I blamed my lack of colour on Kai for drugging me.
Catching a breath, I told myself I didn’t care how I looked and opened the bedroom door. After staring down the long, dimly lit corridor, I assessed my situation. The man, Cillian, was nowhere to be seen, nor was anyone else. The passageway was empty, but I was still cautious. I had realised growing up in mafia households that if a situation appeared too good to be true, it usually was. Expect the unexpected at all costs.
The hairs on my neck prickled. I felt very aware I was in the lion's den. As I turned a corner, walking past several closed doors, the corridor opened into a landing with a circular staircase. It spiralled in both directions, up and down and the ceiling was the highest I had ever seen. I wondered what was up those stairs.
Taking a deep breath, I pursed my lips. Where now? What did Connors say, the ground floor?
Squinting, I could hear classical music playing. It sounded like it was coming from beneath me, so I started down the stairs, holding the rail. You needed eyes in the back of your head dealing with the mafia.
As I got to the bottom, I saw a face I recognised. It was the man who had attacked me in the lobby of my apartment building in Milan the previous week. He was the reason I’d had to stay with Anton. I remembered the satisfaction I’d felt when I’d knocked him out. The self-defence classes I’d taken in Milan had been worth the money. My instructor told me I’d taken to it like a duck to water and was a born fighter.
“You,” I said, screwing my face up with distaste.
He held his beefy arms up in a gesture of surrender. “Good evening, Miss Cawthorne. Good to see you again.”
“Is it?”
Before I had rendered him unconscious, I’d kicked him in his misters, so hard I imagined he may have been pissing blood for days afterwards. Interesting, that he didn’t appear to be holding a grudge, either that or he had an amazing poker face.
“You look well,” he responded politely, unfazed. I wondered if his breath still smelt like an ashtray. After his fuck up, I was surprised Kai had let him live to be honest. Maybe my stepbrother wasn’t quite as bad as his father. Gerard Kinlan would never have given one of his soldiers a second chance.
“You don’t,” I muttered under my breath as his face was still bruised. “But, thank you, I guess,” I tacked on. I didn’t mean it but my manners took over. Turning away, I spied the main entrance, registering the two front double doors as a possible escape route. One that didn’t appear to be guarded. Morons. They had no idea who they were dealing with. I was no longer the stupid seventeen-year-old. I prayed that they would continue to underestimate me.
On autopilot, I stepped towards that promise of possible freedom but the ashtray moved to block me with a shake of his head.
“It’s locked anyway so don’t trouble yourself, Miss.”
My heart started to thud erratically at the thought of possible escape. So much so that I had forgotten he was standing right there. Plus, would I really have left my mother there?
“Supper is being served in the dining room. Through there,” he said with a flick of his head and a nice try expression. Drat, busted by a man who was nothing more than a minion. I should have stuck the sign I’d clocked him with up his arse.
I gave him a haughty look. My senses were now on high alert and I moved swiftly towards the archway he had directed me to. I was surprised he was so polite, considering I had handed him his arse.
Standing in the open doorway, I saw Kai and my mother sitting at one end of a long polished oak dining table. Damn him, he knew I wouldn’t chew him out in front of Suki, she was way too delicate to witness altercations of any kind.
You drugged me you bastard ; my expression must have screamed.
The table would easily hold over ten guests and I wondered if Kai entertained. In the olden days, he’d been a bit of a loner, apart from his second, Nico.
My eyes roamed over the pretty flower arrangement in the middle of the table. You can’t polish a turd but you can roll it in glitter. It looked so fancy considering this was the crib of a well-known criminal thug.
The room was spacious, with just the table sitting centrally. There was wooden panelling on the bottom half of the walls and then chintzy patterned wallpaper running up towards the ceiling. Oil paintings of various landscapes were hung and the windows down one side looked out onto the gardens. Cream velvet curtains with sags and sashes were draped around each window and held open by gold-roped tie-backs. I cast my gaze over several plants scattered around the room. They made it look less stuffy.
Kai, who appeared to be messaging someone, looked up and slid his phone into his suit jacket. His expression darkened as his gaze roamed over me. He then motioned me to join them with a flick of his hand, “Ava. Please, join us.”
I shot the man who’d met me at the bottom of the stairs a dirty look as I moved away. He remained in the doorway with an unreadable expression.
My shoes clicked against the marble flooring in time with my heartbeat. The house appeared to be a mansion set in the countryside and I wondered how far away we were from the centre of London.
I felt very aware of all eyes on me and the atmosphere was thick and unpleasant. It felt far too formal and forced. The classical music I’d heard earlier bled out of state-of-the-art speakers mounted near the ceiling.
Both Kai and my mother were formally dressed for dinner. Suki wore a black high-necked dress, and Kai his usual suit, although it was grey and paler than the dark version he’d worn at Anton’s apartment. He had shaved and looked smoking hot, much to my dismay. I noted the grey tie which was unusual as I knew he preferred red; it was more striking and reminded people of danger.
Straightening my shoulders, I walked towards them, attempting to appear like I belonged there when I didn’t. I swallowed that feeling of regret for wearing jeans as it made a statement, Kai did not get to decide things for me. Not anymore.
I didn’t know that my thoughts on that matter would turn out to be wishful thinking.
The judgemental once-over Kai gave me had my temper rising; his expression was a mixture of annoyance and something else.
He could be such a self-righteous prick. Kai looked like a king sitting on his throne, much more refined than he’d been at Anton’s. That restless energy was still humming beneath the surface.
Spoiler alert; I saw straight through his facade. Kai Kinlan was a tiger waiting to pounce. His airs and graces were purposefully put in place for Suki’s benefit.
He was positioned at the head of the table with my mother seated beside him like the pawn she was. There was an extra place for dinner opposite her, so I moved towards it. An unpleasant shudder ran through me.
“Ava. We usually dress up for dinner,” Suki scolded gently, shaking her napkin before placing it on her lap. I lifted my eyes from the silverware placed so properly on the table, spearing her with an annoyed look.
“Really, why? What’s that about?”
“It’s civilised.” Civilised my arse, there was nothing civilised about my being there.
“Sorry, I didn’t get the memo,” I replied moodily, my focus moving to search Kai’s face. He sighed as if he was bored and I followed his gaze as he turned and glanced towards the other side of the room. Cillian Connors was standing by the window with his arms folded. They shared a look, and I watched as the killer nodded once, grassing me up as he had told me about the formal bullshit for dinner.
No allegiance there then considering you’re ‘doing’ my mother?
As I got to the table, Kai lazily uncurled himself from his seat and pulled out a chair for me. It was odd as I had never seen him act gentleman-like before. It was clearly for my mother’s benefit, and I wrinkled my nose in distaste as she beamed across at him. Frustration bubbled in my chest.
Kai jerked his head towards the seat, gesturing me to sit. I felt like the family dog.
He looked drop-dead gorgeous. His face chiselled purposefully to knock the female population off kilter. Yep, my annoying stepbrother had the kind of sex appeal that made your hormones fist pump the sky and chant breed ! I still carried that mortifying memory of waiting for him in his bed on my sixteenth birthday and how he’d rebuffed my pathetic attempt at seduction.
Once we had all sat down, I looked between them before saying, “Well, this is all very posh. Almost like we’re part of the royal family.” I was aware that I was goading Kai but I didn’t care. He had crossed the line by drugging me. I mean, who did that sort of thing? Oh yes, crime bosses.
Suki glanced at Kai who said nothing. Was she asking for his permission to speak? The thought gave me a shudder of impatience. She used to do that with Gerard but with good reason I supposed.
Mum took my words in the wrong direction, “We are a family, Ava.”
Her reply was like fingernails down a blackboard.
“That’s bullshit,” I snarled, shooting her a look. Something was going on, there were holes the size of Buckingham Palace in my mother’s half-baked story. Kai doesn’t care about us, he needs us, but for what reason?
“Watch your mouth,” Kai growled, his tone of voice betraying his anger. He gave me an unhinged look. Please save me from mentally unstable men.
Pursing my lips, I shuffled my legs further under the table as a door opened, and a lady dressed in black waddled over to serve what appeared to be soup. I realised that I would have to play nice, for now. I was also starving.
“You must be hungry, Ava?”
“Famished,” I agreed, answering him without sass.
“We have soup to start and then steak. How do you like it cooked?”
“Medium please.” I had to bite my lip. What if I didn’t like steak? What then? He probably had another dish all prepared just in case. The man had a backup plan for everything ; just like his old man.
“I trust you're happy with your room?” Kai said, his voice much calmer that time.
I snorted, “You mean my prison cell?” The serving tray held by a member of the kitchen staff rattled, no doubt she wasn’t used to someone backchatting her boss.
And there ended the small talk.
“You have never been near a prison cell if the luxury upstairs is your comparison. But if you wish to see it that way, that’s your choice, Ava.”
There was a beat of silence and I shifted uncomfortably under his scrutiny. The movement made my injury twinge.
“How’s your side? Dr Farmer confirmed that it’s nothing to worry about, just a scratch?” Kai said with a flick of his head.
“It’s more than a scratch, but I’ll live, no thanks to you.” I inwardly cringed, Kai always made me react like a child around him. Where was the confident, sophisticated Ava I had been trying to mould myself into over the last two years?
“You were the one holding the knife,” he said thickly with a tolerant look.
“That’s debatable,” I huffed.
“What knife?” Suki put in pulling a horrified face.
Luckily, she was distracted as the lady from the kitchen spooned out my mother’s starter.
“Thank you, Mrs Shelby. The soup smells delicious,” Kai complimented. The kitchen woman was dressed in black and looked old enough to be his mother. She blushed with a smile as she ladled soup into Kai’s bowl. “Please inform the Chef that Miss Cawthorne likes her steak cooked medium.”
And there was the charm my mother mentioned. He was such a handsome devil. Kai would physically appeal to women of any age. Why couldn’t he be fat and ugly or skinny and wrinkly like his old man had been? The thought that my mother had ever said I do to a man like Gerard was something I would never understand.
We watched each other silently as Mrs Shelby moved to serve me. I thanked her, I wasn’t a complete brat.
As she walked away, I fidgeted with my cutlery before facing my captor with the strongest deadeye I could muster. Kai was right, the steaming soup smelled divine. It looked like a chunky vegetable which was one of my favourites.
As Kai and Suki picked up their spoons, I followed suit. My mouth watered as I tasted how beautifully the vegetables were cooked. I’d spent far too long living off MacDonalds or nothing, I had forgotten what proper food tasted like.
We ate in silence until Kai and I finished. My mother placed her spoon down partway through. It looked like she still ate like a sparrow. Suki was fixated on counting calories.
Pushing the bowl away to confirm I had finished I drummed my fingers against the table top as I eyed my stepbrother. “So, how long will you be keeping us here Kai?” I questioned. Suki remained silent and continued staring down into her soup. I hated that Stepford Wives vibe coming off her. And was I overthinking it, or had she had another boob job? Her breasts looked a bit like two overinflated balloons shoved down her dress.
I was also very aware of the hitman lurking in the background. What the heck was he doing there anyway? Guarding his boss in case I attacked him?
A whisper of a smile curled Kai’s lips, “Us Ava? Your mother is staying here of her own free will and has done so for a while now. Surely, she told you what happened after my father was arrested?”
And of course, she had. I worried my lip, praying that this wasn’t the moment Kai brought up the truth that I was responsible for that arrest. My mother had never hinted that she knew it was me, even when we spoke about Gerard’s incarceration on the phone. Maybe I should be the one to bring it up?
I decided to let it go, considering what my mother had been through when I’d left. Part of me wanted to thank Kai for looking out for her, but I still needed to know his motives.
As Mrs Shelby appeared and cleared away the first course, a man started to serve our mains. It was steak with new potatoes and salad but I lost my appetite, only managing a few mouthfuls. My meat was once again, cooked to perfection.
The rest of the meal felt strained, with my mother and Kai doing most of the talking, but it was all about mundane shit. Stuff on the news, Suki talking about plans for the holidays. It was normal and yet it wasn’t. My mother’s presence must have reminded Kai how to be human again.
You cannot trust this man!
I knew that calm wouldn’t last much longer as before dessert was served, Suki made her excuses about feeling tired. We both said goodnight and she left the room, Cillian Connors hot on her heels.
The classical music track ended, bathing the room in silence and the atmosphere thickened.
My belly swooped, “So, just the two of us. How romantic,” I said, placing my knife and fork down. I knew I was acting like a petulant child but I couldn’t help it.
“You used to enjoy being in my company,” Kai pointed out with an arched brow. God, even that was sexy. If he brought up the night of my sixteenth birthday party I would stab him with my fork.
Shrugging, I replied, “Things change.”
“Indeed, they do,” he admitted, the smile not reaching his eyes.
With a tilt of my head, I watched him for a moment before asking the obvious, “Why haven’t you told my mother that I got Gerard arrested?”
He flexed his shoulders as he decided how to reply. “What makes you think I haven’t?”
“I know my mother. She would have said something to me.”
I could see a mixture of thoughts being processed across his shrewd face, “You know women are never involved in business. I also wasn’t sure you were responsible. Soley responsible I mean. And that is something I intend to find out Ava. That and your motives.”
Fuck. Did that mean he knew I’d had help sending his father down? I attempted to keep my face blank, maybe he’d move on from that point if I didn’t respond.
Poker face time!
Kai scrutinised me over the rim of the wine glass he held, his expression one of mischief and menace, “Are you sure you wouldn’t like a glass of wine?” he asked after he’d taken a sip and placed it down. Kai had offered me one earlier but I’d declined. His voice was low and casual but the tattoos on his hand flexed angrily as he raised the napkin to pat his lips. The man was a walking, talking contradiction.
I resisted the urge to roll my eyes and instead shook my head. I needed all my faculties for what was coming next, “No, thank you.”
“You didn’t finish your steak,” Kai commented as Mrs Shelby cleared our plates.
“I’m quite full.”
“You’re a liar. You know there’s no dessert if you don’t finish your dinner,” Kai mocked.
Narrowing my eyes, I replied, “What am I? Ten?”
“You’re acting like you are,” he informed me with a glib look. He had a point.
“Would you like dessert? I remember you always had a sweet tooth.”
“No, thank you,” I replied.
“So polite all of a sudden.”
“I just don’t think it would mix well with the shit you pumped me full of.”
“Stop being so dramatic.” Dramatic? On what planet was sticking a syringe in an unconscious woman’s neck considered fine?
The dark stare Kai awarded me with could be felt through the back of my fucking skull and my temper flared but I bit my lip, knowing losing it would only make things worse. Kai exhaled and said, “Why don’t you get it off your chest, Ava?” I needed no other offer but my eyes glanced at the staff still in the room before looking back at Kai.
“I trust my staff implicitly. You can speak freely here.”
“You drugged me you swine,” I rasped.
Kai gave me a withering look, “Hardly. It was the mildest of sedatives.”
“If it was so bloody mild, why did it knock me out for half the day?” I pointed out, feeling pissed off that he acted like he’d done nothing wrong.
Kai clenched his teeth; his eyes sweeping over my body. “It was probably more potent due to your stomach being empty. Are you starving yourself on purpose?”
“Your company made me lose my appetite,” I replied truthfully.
Kai’s lip curled at that one, “You need to eat more if you plan on taking me on, Ava. You’re going to need all your strength. Plus, the skeletal look isn’t at all appealing.”
“There is no one in this place to appeal to and how dare you?” I snapped, playing with the edge of my top, feeling self-conscious without more covering.
His voice dipped to a scratchy whisper, giving me goosebumps, “I think you know I dare anything, Ava. I remember the lengths you used to go to, to appeal to me. Has so much changed in such a small amount of time?”
“Yes, I came to my senses.”
“We’ll see.”