Chapter 13 We’ll Work Up To That
WE’LL WORK UP TO THAT
PATIENCE
“Good girl.” His voice is honey.
It drips from his lips as I melt at his touch.
This is reckless. Unethical. But it’s like I have no control over myself around Jacob.
He wipes my mind free of all thought until I only see him.
Just like he has from the moment I landed in his lap on the plane.
When he wasn’t my professor, just a man who seemed to see me for who I am beneath the layers I used to hide behind.
Every second of my life is planned and calculated. Spent worrying about everyone but myself.
My friends.
My family.
My brother.
But when Jacob’s eyes are on me, all that’s on my mind is him.
“You should tell me to stop, Patience.” Jacob’s hands skate up another inch, grazing the tops of my knees as my body starts throbbing. “You should get off my desk and walk out of this room before you ask for something we can’t take back.”
“And if I don’t?”
The challenge lights up his emerald eyes. The ring of gold around them practically glows.
Jacob brushes his thumbs over the insides of my knees but doesn’t move higher. “You tell me. What is going to happen if you don’t walk out of here right now?”
He so easily throws my own question back at me.
Nothing is ever easy with him. He doesn’t offer an out.
An excuse so I can blame this on him later and absolve myself of guilt.
He pulls me like a raw nerve and forces me to face it—to act.
To say and do exactly what I want so there’s no denying I’m the one responsible for my actions when it comes to him.
“Are you going to touch me?” It’s almost a whisper.
But Jacob shakes his head just once.
“No?”
“No.” He pulls his hands back so they’re at my knees again, not moving farther, and when I frown, a beautifully wicked smirk crawls his lips. “Are you disappointed?”
I hate that he calls me out. That I’m so easy to read. Most of all, I hate that he’s put me in this position only to deny me.
“I’ll survive.” I tip my chin up.
After all, surviving is what I do.
He chuckles, his gaze sweeping over me. “I have no doubt you can survive anything, Patience Lancaster. It’s the world that won’t survive you.”
My throat clenches. My tongue swells. “You can’t say things like that.”
“The truth?”
“I—” I shake my head, breaking stares because I can’t think with him looking at me like this. “You make it sound like a compliment.”
“It is.”
“You’re the first to think so then. Most people find me difficult.”
“And that’s a bad thing?” He tilts my chin up. “Don’t dull yourself because others can’t handle you.”
“Can you handle me?”
Jacob hums, grazing his thumb over my chin. “Yes.”
“Then why aren’t you going to touch me?” My tone is desperate.
And when he grins, I realize how he’s flipped this around. How he mixes up my mind. How this turned from a question to me begging for his touch. Because I need it.
I need him.
“Because what I can handle isn’t what’s in question here, Patience.
It’s what you can. And trust me, you aren’t ready for what I want to do to you.
Not until you decide to let me in. And when you do, trust me, you won’t be talking back and rolling your eyes.
You won’t even have the fight in you to glare at me.
What I’m going to do to you requires trust, and we already established you don’t trust me yet. ”
“I’m surprised you care whether I trust you or not.” My voice turns to a mumble. “That you care what I’m ready for.”
His smile drops. “Why?”
The anger in that single word has the hair on the back of my neck standing on end. The brightness of his eyes has dimmed.
I swallow hard, but my throat is sandpaper. “No reason.”
“I doubt that.”
“It doesn’t matter anymore.” I shove my chin up, pushing those thoughts aside. “I’m here now. Shouldn’t you be more focused on that?”
His gaze drops to my legs spread wide for him as he stands between them before he lifts it to meet mine again. “I’m focused on everything when it comes to you.”
Something about the hardness of his stare tells me that’s the truth. That it runs deeper than he’s saying. That I might not be the only one losing control in this moment.
And I’m not ready to face what that might mean, especially if he may not feel the same. So I shake that thought and scoot forward on the desk, taking action instead.
The movement brings us closer together. The insides of my thighs brush the outside of his, and even through my jeans, I feel the friction. The static. This electricity that sparks and flickers with every touch.
I’ve never been drawn to another person. From a young age, I learned the dangers of trusting anyone with my body—much less my heart. But I can’t get enough of Jacob.
“You say you’re focused on me.” I press my lips together.
“I am.”
“Then prove it.”
It takes all my bravery to force the words out. To look him in his green eyes as I say them. To not flinch or pull away. To choose myself for once and not shy away from the fact that he is what I need, no matter how wrong it is.
Lines are being crossed. I’m dancing my way over them, and I couldn’t care less for the first time in my life.
“Help me let go, Jacob.” I scoot forward again.
This time, his fingers tighten ever so slightly on my knees. He digs them in, and I wish he’d just grab me and pull me the final few inches to close this space so I could feel him.
“You should have taken me up on my offer to leave.”
I shrug. “And you should have locked the office door before putting me on your desk like this.”
At that, he leans in, dropping his mouth to my ear. “Let them walk in and see what a bad girl you are for me, Patience. I don’t give a fuck.”
Turning my face to his, we’re a breath away as our eyes lock, and I know he means it. He could lose his career over this. He’s risking his reputation. And he couldn’t care less.
For me.
It doesn’t make sense.
Jacob releases my knee and reaches for something in the top drawer of his desk. “Help me with something.”
“Wh—” I cough when the word catches in my throat as I take in what he’s holding. “What?”
“A problem I’ve been trying to visualize.” His free hand moves to my thigh now.
“I thought you weren’t going to touch me.”
“Maybe I lied.” He smirks. “Or maybe I meant I just wouldn’t touch you like you’re hoping I will.”
“How are you going to touch me then?”
He pulls back slightly, and my head swims as he lifts the wooden ruler between us.
“What are you going to do with that?”
“Tongue out, Patience.” His stare has turned to ice.
Not because he feels cold, but like he’s slipped into another version of himself. One I’m aching to give in to as he harnesses control.
And while I realize I should stop this, I embrace the rush that is an equal mix of excitement and embarrassment as I stick my tongue out.
“Good girl.” Jacob flattens the bottom of the ruler over my tongue.
His finger presses to the tip, and the warmth of his skin has me considering what it might feel like if this ruler were replaced with him. Embarrassment has me dropping my gaze.
“Eyes on me,” he says firmly, and my stare snaps back to him. “You watch me when I’m playing with you.”
Playing with me.
If I were smart, I might consider that a warning. But I can’t think straight when he’s this close.
“So beautiful.” He slides the ruler down an inch. “So obedient.”
I’ve never been called obedient. Never wanted to be. Because that word means I’m not acting on my own will. Except I am. He gave me the option to run, and I didn’t. I am obedient for him because I want this.
Jacob is the only person who can strip me of my thoughts until all I do is feel.
I’m free with him.
He continues to slide the ruler down my tongue, and I don’t break his stare. I keep my eyes locked on his as he slowly drags the ruler lower, until he finally pauses and smirks. His eyes drop from my mouth to my throat to where his hand holds the other end.
“You’re a determined girl.” He looks at me. “We could make it work.”
He pulls the ruler back, and my tongue retreats into my mouth. “Make what work?”
He smirks, and my gaze moves to the ruler again, seeing just how many inches he just dragged over my tongue, and my eyes widen. I’m not the only one who was imagining something else.
“You wouldn’t—” I clear my throat. “You can’t be that… size.”
My cheeks are red-hot, and a hand flies to my throat as I consider taking him in my mouth. With the length of the ruler, I’d have to swallow him down my throat. I’ve never so much as put my lips on a man’s body, much less taken one like that. Maybe he’s right, and I’m not ready.
But my core is on fire, and I want to be.
Jacob reaches for my hand on my throat, slowly peeling it away and replacing it with his. He wraps his hand around my neck and squeezes just enough to make my head swim. His green eyes drop as he moves his mouth to my ear, skating the ruler lower with his other hand.
“Once again, I think you underestimate yourself.” The ruler grazes the inside of my thigh. “But if you’ve reconsidered what we’re doing, and you want me to stop—”
“No.” It’s embarrassing how quickly I say it.
My hand flies to his wrist before he can release my neck. Because I don’t want him to let me go. I don’t want this to end.
He chuckles. “Don’t worry. We’ll work up to that.”
His breath tickles my neck as the ruler moves between my legs, and I’m on the verge of losing my mind as he taps it at my core. Even with my jeans in the way, I feel the steady tap of the wood on my clit.
“Jacob.” My eyes seal shut, and I tip my head back as he continues to press the ruler between my legs.
A steady tap.
Tap.
Tap.
Each one builds me up, making me desperate for more. But it’s all he offers. A slow, torturous intensity that has me climbing.
“Let go, Patience,” he whispers, brushing his lips over the side of my neck as he grips my throat tighter.
But he doesn’t kiss me. Doesn’t touch me between the legs with anything more than the ruler. Until I’m grabbing his wrist so hard, I must be leaving marks on his skin with my nails. My body shakes.
He pulls back to look me in the eyes until we are merely a breath away.
“Let go. You can trust me.”
Trust.
I can’t.
But I do. And that has me shaking more than anything else. I know better than to trust anyone but myself, but I trust Jacob enough to let go. To relax in his grip. To know that if I just ease up, he will take me where I need.
And with a final tap of the ruler, my mouth opens, and I unravel.
I shake and shatter. I’m nothing but paint melting over canvas as Jacob watches me like I’m a work of art, unbecoming everything I’ve held firm to just for him.
My orgasm hits, and he doesn’t stop tapping until my body is a shaking mess.
Only then does he drop the ruler on the desk and release my throat, cupping my jaw instead.
“Good girl.”