Chapter 19
DESTROY ME
PATIENCE
It doesn’t take long to find Jacob standing at the gate. When I do, his eyes are already on me. Relief floods my chest at the sight of him. My freedom from this life I’ve been living. From everything that happened tonight.
My brother speaking.
My mother’s continued mission of tearing me down until I break.
Mila and Alex fighting after my father purposely found a way to get between them.
Exhaustion seeps deep into my bones as I tug my purse up my shoulder. Each step is heavier than the last.
The moment I landed in Bristal, I slipped back into my role of coming second to everyone around me. Someone for my parents to blame for my brother’s actions. Someone to hold the thin fabric of our family together.
But when I meet Jacob’s gaze, I’m not a go-between. I’m not the bandage holding everyone around me together. I’m simply Patience.
A girl choosing herself for once in her life.
Jacob might be off-limits. A mistake I can’t take back. He might be a temporary escape when I know I can’t actually have him. There are rules. Limits.
Consequences.
We can’t explore this beyond this summer. But tonight, when I look into his eyes, every part of me wants whatever scraps I can get.
Jacob slides his bag off the empty seat beside him when I stop in front of it. A silent offering. Like he’s been saving it just for me. Because, unlike everyone else in my life, he sees me.
I drop down, and my shoulders finally relax. The weight of the evening loosens, and I let it be something else I’m leaving behind before I disappear to LA again.
This was never going to be a good night. I knew that when my mother lured me here under false pretenses. But after my father purposely found a way to piss Mila off and cause a fight between her and my brother, my family proved just how messy they can get.
At least I was around to get Mila back to the dorm. I ran damage control like I’m used to. I became the buffer so no one else would have to feel it.
And where does that leave me?
In this entire evening of my brother obsessing over Mila, my father focusing on Alex, and my mother casting her judgment, no one bothered to ask how my summer is going.
It could be my fault for always pretending I can handle it.
But for once, I wonder how it would feel for someone to notice I’m not okay.
None of this is okay.
My eyes start to burn, but I fight the tears. I’ve already cried once tonight, and that was enough to prove I’m as weak as my mother says.
As if Jacob senses my mood, he places his palm face up between us in an offering.
It’s too much to hope it could be more than temporary comfort, and I really wish I knew the limits so this won’t hurt me later. But tonight, I stop caring.
Let it hurt.
Let him ruin me.
At least then my family can’t.