Chapter 21 Nothing Can Stop Me Now
NOTHING CAN STOP ME NOW
PATIENCE
Jacob’s apartment is three times the size of the one I share with Kole and Violet. Sleek gray furniture is paired with green accents, and everything is in its place. If it’s possible for a room to feel like a person, Jacob’s entire apartment embodies him.
It’s sophisticated.
Orderly.
Comfortable.
And the view of LA from his side of the building is stunning.
“It’s a whole other world up here.” I stare out the floor-to-ceiling windows.
“On this side of the building?”
“On this part of the West Coast. I’ve spent so many years in Bristal, I forgot how much exists outside of it.”
Jacob stops at my side with his hands in his pockets, but he’s watching me instead of the view. My skin tingles with anticipation, and even if he’s touched me before, this is new territory. This is just us.
No threat of anyone walking in.
No avoiding the fact that I put myself here by choice.
I look up into the eyes of the man I wish wasn’t my professor, because it would make this a heck of a lot less complicated, and try to focus on the man I met on the plane instead.
The day we met, he caught me in more ways than he realizes. I’ve been falling for years, not trusting the hands that reached out.
Until now.
I turn and walk toward the kitchen. “Do you have any water?”
“Of course.” Jacob follows, pulling a glass out of the cabinet and filling it from the pitcher in the fridge.
“I guess you weren’t lying about one thing. This is definitely a bachelor pad. Not a hint of a woman anywhere.”
“Did you think I’d lie to you about that?”
I shrug, offering a playful smile as I push myself to sit on his counter.
His stare immediately slides in my direction.
“Sorry, I can get down.”
“Don’t.” He sets the pitcher aside, standing at my knees as he hands me the glass.
My throat is impossibly dry all of a sudden.
Jacob doesn’t take his eyes off me as I take a sip. Condensation drips down my fingers. When I set the glass on the counter beside me, he stops me from drying my hand on my jeans, snagging my wrist before I get the chance.
“You’re fucking perfect.” He lifts my hand to his mouth, dragging his tongue along the ridge to lick up every drop of water from my skin. “I can’t get enough of you.”
“Clearly…” My core heats as he drags his tongue along my middle finger. “Is that why you followed me to Bristal tonight? Because you can’t get enough?”
I’m never this confident, but in his hands, I feel like the center of his world. There’s something about how Jacob watches me. How he smiles at my little challenges. How he doesn’t get annoyed when I’m irritable. He just pushes me harder. He draws out my defiance.
He smirks. “I told you I had a dinner meeting.”
“Right. So you aren’t obsessed with me then?”
Jacob tips my knees open so he can stand between them. “I didn’t say that.”
“So you are obsessed with me?” I smile. “Got it.”
He drags his hand into the hair at the side of my head. “Brat.”
“What are you going to do about it?”
“Are you testing me, Patience?”
“Of course not.” I wet my lips. “You’re the one who issues the tests around here, Professor.”
A growl rumbles in his chest, and my core pools with excitement. He’s a breath away, and I’m on the verge of snapping. I’m pushing until he breaks. Because I’ve never needed anything like I need Jacob’s lips when they land on mine.
His fingers dig into my scalp, and his kiss is anything but polite. It’s desperate. Determined, like he is.
Slow but fierce, and I melt into it. Need tears through me, so I grab his shirt and pull him closer. I lock my legs at his hips and meet his tongue with mine.
The scruff on his jaw rubs my face. It’s exactly how I imagined but better because his hands aren’t a figment of my imagination. They’re strong and firm, lifting me from the island and carrying me through his apartment.
Jacob doesn’t stop kissing me as he walks me down the hallway to his bedroom.
My fingers tug on the hair at the back of his head, and I forget that this is wrong. That he’s almost twice my age and my professor. I forget anything except how good this feels to sink into it.
I accept him, allowing him to take what’s his.
Because that’s what I am.
His.
He sets me on my feet, bending to keep his lips pressed to mine a second longer.
And even after he breaks it, our foreheads stay touching.
I could spend a lifetime lost in his green eyes.
This forbidden garden I’m happily wandering.
It isn’t until I feel his hands tugging the hem of my shirt that my mind drags me back to reality.
I step away, and he immediately straightens.
“Are you okay?”
“Sorry. Yes. Of course.” I tug at the hem of my shirt, smoothing it over. “Maybe we should turn the light off first.”
His eyebrows pinch, his gaze sweeping down. “You don’t need to be shy around me. I promise you that you’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen, Patience.”
“You haven’t seen me yet.”
“I’m not talking about your looks.” He dares to take a step forward, cupping the side of my face so he can tap my temple with his finger. “You’re a beautiful girl physically, but it’s what’s in here that has my attention.”
“What’s in there is a mess.”
His eyes narrow. “That’s the last bad thing you’re going to say about yourself in front of me.”
“Or else what?”
Jacob’s smile tilts at the challenge as he closes the distance more with another step. “Or else I’ll put you on your knees and give your tongue something better to do than talk down about the girl I’m falling for. Understood?”
I nod, processing what he said.
Falling for.
Maybe this isn’t one-sided.
“Understood,” I whisper.
“Good girl.” His gaze drops to my shirt again. “Now tell me the real reason you pulled away.”
“I just needed a second.” My heart races.
I can barely hear through the blood coursing between my temples.
“And now?” He drifts his fingers at the hem of my shirt again, but this time I don’t stop him.
“Now I want you to touch me,” I admit.
He may not want to after he sees me, but that much is the truth.
“It means a lot to me when you’re honest like that,” he praises, slowly peeling my shirt up.
I’m holding my breath. On pins and needles, feeling absolutely everything.
His breath, this close.
His short nails, skating over me as he strips my shirt off.
When he tosses it aside, his gaze falls to my chest, and I’ve never been more vulnerable.
I really should have worn something prettier than a plain white bra with no underwire. But I wasn’t expecting this when I got dressed tonight. At least Jacob doesn’t seem to mind. His jaw ticks when he takes me in until his gaze moves to my elbows, and his expression hardens.
“This is what you were hiding?” Jacob’s tone is deathly cold.
He turns my arm gently to get a better look at the thick scars on my elbow. First inspecting one arm, then the other. Ugly patches where the skin ripped open too many times to heal properly.
“That’s part of it.” I swallow hard.
His eyes snap to mine, and he takes a step back. I don’t blame him. It’s not pretty, and these aren’t the worst of them.
“Show me,” he cuts me off. “I want to see you, Patience.”
I search his eyes for disgust, but there’s none there. Which is why I reach for the button on my pants, heart racing as I slowly shuffle them down my hips. I strip them off with my socks. And when I stand tall again, my knees are on display for him.
Those scars are worse than my elbows because I spent more time kneeling than with my head pressed to the concrete floor.
But none of these scars come close to the marks on my back.
Which is why I hold my breath as I finally turn around, pulling my long braid over my shoulder so he can get a full look at the worst of me.
He says nothing as he steps closer, reaching for my shoulder. His fingers are gentle as they trace the three long scars that cut down one side of my spine.
The only other person who has seen these marks is the person who put them there. While my brother is aware of the damage to my knees and elbows from Mom’s unique prayer sessions, he doesn’t know what happened to my back.
I couldn’t bring myself to tell him. We both paid for what happened to the deacon, and Alex had enough to deal with.
But now, here I stand, bare besides my bra and underwear in front of Jacob. Showing him all of me.
Maybe it’s that we’re in LA and that he has no ties to Sigma House. Maybe it’s that I trust him for some unknown reason. Or maybe I just need someone else to know so I don’t have to carry it around all by myself anymore.
Glancing over my shoulder, I find him still staring at my back. “Don’t look at me like that.”
His gaze lifts. “How do you think I’m looking at you?”
“Like I’m broken.”
Jacob turns me so I’m facing him once again. “Trust me, that’s the last thing I’m thinking. You’re so fucking strong, Patience. Resilient. These scars are proof of that. The last thing I see is weakness when I look at you.”
“Then what are you thinking?”
His jaw clenches as he pulls me close. “Honestly?”
I nod.
“That I’m going to fucking ruin the person who did this to you.”
If only he knew it’s not that simple. That he could try, but he wouldn’t come close to touching my family with Sigma Sin standing between them and everyone else. Still, I appreciate that he cares. That he thinks he could do something about it.
“I don’t need you to avenge me, Jacob.” I lift onto my toes and wrap my arms around his neck. “I just need someone to make me feel good.”
“Someone?”
“You.”
“Mm-hmm.” He lifts me, wrapping my legs around his hips. “I’m the only one who will make you feel good, Patience. It’s best you remember that.”
“I will.”
There’s no forgetting this man or the comfort his strong arms bring me. He lays me on his bed, and I know I’ll remember him long after he tires of me. That much isn’t a lie.
“Fuck, you’re stunning.” He kisses down my throat, nipping at my breast through my bra. “I could look at you all day… all night…”
“When do I get to look at you?” I glance down at him, still in a dress shirt and slacks. “This seems a little unfair.”
“Does it?” He grins. “Then by all means, take what you want, beautiful.”
He kneels between my legs on the bed, waiting for me to claim what I want. So I reach up, undoing one button at a time until his shirt peels back, revealing solid muscle beneath. His shoulders flex as he strips it off the rest of the way and tosses it aside.
Jacob’s forearms tense when he rests his fists on the bed on either side of me, hovering his lips at my ear. “Are you done?”
I swallow, shaking my head.
“Didn’t think so.” He kisses the side of my neck. “Keep going.”
I reach for the button on his pants next. My cheeks burn with the wildfire sweeping through me. I slide his zipper down, and only then does Jacob lift off the bed to help. He strips the rest of his clothes off, standing bare at the foot of the bed.
My tongue swells as I take him in. The deep grooves of his muscles. The perfect V that aims like an arrow. His rock-hard cock.
He strokes it in his fist, and my cheeks burn watching him.
“Your turn.” His gaze moves between my legs, and I realize they’re still spread from where he was kneeling between them.
There’s no hiding how I feel when a wet pool of excitement soaks through them. My fingers shake as I reach for the waistband and slowly strip them off. Next, I lose my bra; his jaw tightens.
“Fucking beautiful.” Jacob drops a knee to the bed, forcing mine wider.
And before I can ask what he’s doing, his mouth lands between my legs.
“Fuck.” I fall back onto the bed, raking my fingers into my hair.
It tugs my tight braid, probably making a mess, but I don’t care.
Jacob’s tongue writes a story over my clit, and I’m swimming. Swirling.
Climbing.
“Eyes on me, Patience.” Jacob’s green eyes meet mine.
He doesn’t so much as blink as he drags his tongue over my pussy. Kissing me tenderly. The scruff on his jaw scratches the inside of my thighs in the best way. Rough at the edges, but smooth where I need him.
Jacob kisses me like a man obsessed, watching my every reaction and matching his movements to what he must sense feels good. Because it does—feel good. Exquisite. I’ve never felt anything like this.
There is no pain. Only pleasure.
No fear. Except how hard I’m falling.
But there’s no stopping it. A steady climb quickly turns into a sharp drop. A plane plummeting from the sky. Wind in my hair. Heartbeat in my ears. I’m free for the first time.
My hands fly to Jacob’s dark hair as I shatter. He seals his tongue to my clit, not relenting as I ride through every wave. My body shakes, and I hold him there, chasing my pleasure unapologetically. Just like he wants me to.
When I finally catch my breath, Jacob lifts, climbing over me. His mouth finds mine, and I taste myself on him. The tongue that was just between my legs drags over mine, and I can barely hear through the white noise.
I’m floating in this haze until Jacob presses his cock at my core and thrusts forward. It’s so sudden, so sharp, I tear open. My legs lock, and it stings so badly that tears spring to my eyes.
“Patience.”
I don’t realize Jacob has stopped moving until he says my name. I didn’t even realize my eyes were shut until I peel them open and find him hovering over me. Except, he’s not looking into my eyes; he’s looking down at the blood coating his cock when he slowly pulls it halfway out.
“Fuck.” His eyes snap to mine. “You were a virgin?”
My lips press tight as I nod once.
“You should have told me.” I can’t tell if it’s anger or disappointment, but he still hasn’t pulled out.
“Would it have stopped you?”
I shouldn’t dread his answer, but I do. I’ve told him enough secrets, and I couldn’t bear the thought of revealing one more. I thought maybe I could get through this without him finding out about it. But as always, my body gave me away.
“Would it have stopped me?” He cups my jaw, and he must read the worry in my expression because he leans in to kiss me on the lips. “No. That wouldn’t have stopped anything. And that’s the problem.”
“How?” A tear rolls down my cheek, and he wipes it away.
It’s not pain anymore. If anything, these sensations are turning into something else with every rock of his hips.
Jacob sinks deep, stealing my breath as he rolls until I’m the one on top. He brushes his lips over mine, guiding my hips as he gently rocks them.
“Because now I can’t let you go.” He moves my hips again, this time, reaching somewhere that doesn’t just feel good—it’s euphoria.
“You gave yourself to me because you’re such a good girl for me, baby.
Now I want to do the same. Sit back and let me see you take me.
Paint my cock in your virgin blood while you make me come. ”