Chapter 31 Burn In Hell
BURN IN HELL
PATIENCE
“You’re keeping to the edge of the room tonight.” Deacon Beech stops beside me, his blue gaze freezing me in place. “Not a fan of your parents’ parties?”
I scan the room, filled with money, fake smiles, and high expectations. “They’re fine.”
They’re not, but Mom has trained me well. To lie. To play the part. I know my role at these events, to be meek and quiet and not to piss her off if I don’t want to pay for it later.
She trained me like my father trained my brother.
Across the room, Alex is standing beside Dad, smiling as they speak to the Donovans. But there’s no light in my brother’s eyes. Only deception. A perfectly painted facade so no one notices the monster inside him.
Rolling my shoulders back, I remind myself to do the same. Lancasters don’t crumble under pressure; we turn into diamonds.
Mom catches my stare from the other side of the room.
Her frown deepens when she sees me not smiling.
Especially considering who is at my side.
She gives a cue to stand taller and smile widely, so I do.
If there’s one thing my mother cares about more than how she appears to Sigma House, it’s how the church sees our family.
Like God won’t see through the masks and lies.
“I hear your brother is enrolling in Briar Academy next semester.” Deacon Beech pulls my attention back to him.
“He is.” And now I’m frowning again because the thought of him leaving me alone at my parents’ house is difficult to swallow.
“You’re going to miss him.” The deacon reads my expression.
“He’ll visit when he can. It’s only a fifteen-minute drive.”
Deacon Beech hums, scanning me over. “I haven’t seen you at any of the church events this week.”
I shift on my feet, not sure what to make of the fact that he noticed. “I usually only attend service on Sunday.”
“Most people do. Faith is fickle like that.”
“My beliefs aren’t fickle,” I snap, not quite meaning to as I rub my elbow with my fingers. “I pray plenty between services.”
I pray for things to change.
I pray for a time in my life when things might be better than this.
I pray my mother will finally give up on my soul and whip me until I bleed to death.
Anything to break me free from this religious time loop where she takes out her regrets and shame on me.
“That’s good to hear.” Deacon Beech shifts closer; his arm brushes mine.
He’s close.
Too close.
The hair on the back of my neck stands tall as he leans in.
His whisper tickles the side of my face. “I’d hate for such a beautiful girl to lose her soul.”
My hair is dripping wet. Water soaks the dorm hallway with every step. Rainy season hit Bristal early this year, which figures because I didn’t think to pack a jacket before booking a last-minute flight back home.
I barely had time to pack a single bag of clothes after my quick shower because I was too worried Jacob would find his way back to the apartment and try to convince me to stay.
If it weren’t for all the blood, I wouldn’t have stopped by his apartment at all.
But trying to board a plane covered in blood would raise questions I can’t answer.
A chill runs down my spine, and it isn’t from the coolness of the summer storm. It’s the shiver lingering since discovering the truth about Jacob. Of all the things that are too good to be true, why did he have to be one of them?
I didn’t just hand that man my virginity; I gave him my trust. Proof I’m just a naive college girl after all.
When I reach the door to my dorm room at Briar, I close my eyes and take a deep breath. I didn’t bother calling my roommates to warn them I was returning because they’ve probably already heard through the Sigma House grapevine.
Jacob isn’t near me, but I feel him everywhere. In the eyes at the airport. In the magical upgrade of my seat on the plane. He might have let me go, but I’m under no illusion that he isn’t still monitoring my every move.
If anything, my friends were probably told to expect me the second I escaped that basement.
I hold my breath and unlock the door, prepared to face the music. But when I swing it open, there are more people here than I realized. Violet and Kole are on the couch, talking to Mila and Alex. While Teal and Declan are in the kitchen. She’s pressing ice to his face, which is already bruising.
All eyes are on me as I shut the door behind me, but no one says a word. Alex is about to stand when I glare at him, and Mila reaches for his hand, stopping him.
Good.
My brother is the worst of all of them. He knew exactly who I was spending the summer with. That I was at the mercy of the man who administered his botched Sigma Sin initiation trial. And he let it happen.
Crossing the room, I walk to my bedroom and shut the door, dropping my bags on the floor before throwing myself onto my bed, soaking wet.
Unfortunately, my roommates don’t take the hint because a knock comes at my door a minute later.
“We’re coming in, Patience.” Mila opens the door, poking her head in first before pushing it farther for the other girls to follow.
They circle the bed, surrounding where I’m lying in a wet mess. Still, I refuse to look at them, keeping my eyes on the ceiling.
“How many of you knew Jacob was Sigma Sin?” I cut straight to the point.
I’ve gone in so many circles in my life. Buried myself in secrets. Protected everyone around me, especially my brother. I’m tired of it.
All three of them are silent, and I turn to look at Violet first, who is frowning.
“You knew since the plane, didn’t you?”
She bites her lip. “Kole mentioned he was a graduate, but he didn’t clarify his specific role in the House.”
I glance at Teal, whose shoulders deflate. “He’s the one who handled the paperwork when Declan had us secretly married.”
Of course he did.
Last, I look at Mila, and my heart softens the slightest bit. She’s clearly still on the mend. Her face is pale, and there are deep bags under her eyes. She’s been out of the hospital barely enough time for color to return to her face.
“Alex explained everything to me at the hospital.” She frowns.
“Wonderful,” I groan.
Mila reaches for my hand. “How bad was it?”
I want to kick my friends out and tell them I don’t have anything to say to them after they hid this from me. But I don’t have any fight left. And even if my friends knew about Jacob, I don’t blame them for not telling me. I’ve been so shut down and angry for so long, would I have even listened?
“Bad.” I bury my face in my hands. “I slept with my professor. And then he turned out to be the enemy. Worse than the enemy, in fact. He’s the enemy that my enemy is scared of.”
“Is he really that terrible?”
I crack my fingers to glare at Mila.
“I’m just saying, Alex told me Jacob was the one who saved his life during his trial. He brought him to the hospital.”
“Alex is a liar who does nothing but keep secrets from me.” I throw my hands off my face and sit up. “And it doesn’t matter anyway. Even if I could forgive that Jacob is Sigma Sin, there’s still the fact that he only let me into the program because he was planning on using me to get to my father.”
That much, I put together on the plane. Anson said all the right things to make it clear that Jacob was originally in on what those men did, but he changed his mind.
If only having a change of heart could fix what came of it.
“I was a chess piece to him. He never even cared about me.”
“He sure looked at you like he cared, Patience,” Violet says.
I want to ask her how she could know what caring about someone looks like when she fell in love with a psychopath, but I manage to hold my tongue.
“It doesn’t matter. It’s over. What happened in that basement—” I shake my head, swallowing down the emotion before the tears start to fall again. “He might have stopped those men, but he was the reason I was on their radar in the first place. I can’t forgive him for that.”
“No one will blame you if you never forgive him.” Mila squeezes my hand. “And we support whatever decision you make. You’re our friend, and we just want you to know that we’re here for you.”
“Even if your boyfriends all decide I’m being ridiculous because they’re all Sigma Sin?”
“Even then.” Mila gives me a sad smile. “All we want is for you to be happy.”
Happy.
Do I even know what that is? I thought I felt it with Jacob, but that was all a lie.
How am I supposed to be happy if he’s the closest I’ve come to it?
“Maybe that’s just not in the cards for me.” I frown. “Not if it’s going to come with all this.”
“Did Jacob make you happy?” Teal asks.
“Before he tried to ruin my life… maybe.”
Her nose scrunches. “I guess that’s something.”
“It’s huge,” Mila declares. “Him being a horrible liar aside, you let someone in, Patience. You had a little fun. You lived your life. Ignoring all the mess that came with it, that part is a good thing.”
“The mess is a lot to ignore.”
“I get that. But you did something for you.” Mila smirks. “I say, forget the professor—or interrogator—or whoever he is. You enjoyed yourself. You got laid. Good for you.”
I hitch an eyebrow. “I lost my virginity to the devil, and you want to celebrate me getting laid?”
“Sex is a good way to learn more about yourself.”
“Sex isn’t everything,” I argue.
“Hear that?” Mila sits straighter. “Patience said sex, and God didn’t smite her for it. I consider that progress.”
“Very funny.” I shake my head. “I would have been better off falling for one of those boring guys in the back of class than having fun this summer.”
Violet’s nose scrunches. “They were too boring, even for you.”
“Thanks?”
“You know what I mean.” She waves me off. “You would have been over them so fast.”
“Especially growing up with the House,” Teal cuts in. “Remember, I grew up with them running my life too. As much as we want to hate them, it’s hard to just walk away from it. And there’s so much that most other people wouldn’t understand.”
I think about Jacob’s reaction to my scars. How he didn’t so much as flinch.
Or how he stood and listened to what my father had done to Mila. He understood. Because he comes from this world like I do.
“Just because I grew up with it doesn’t mean that’s how I want to spend the rest of my life,” I decide.
Teal nods, leaving it at that as the door opens, and my brother steps into the room.
“Can I have a second?” he asks.
As angry as I am with my brother right now, I can’t help that his voice is reassuring.
“Of course.” Violet smiles, sliding off the bed.
Teal squeezes my hand. “I’m here if you need to talk.”
“Thanks.”
Teal and Violet leave the room, but Mila stays put as Alex stops at her side of the bed. The second she looks up, his expression softens.
“You need to go lie down.” He leans down to kiss her forehead.
“I feel fine. I’m not even tired,” Mila argues.
“No one said you had to go to sleep, just that you need to lie down. Go. I’ll meet you in there.” He smirks, and they have a silent conversation that doesn’t take words for me to understand when Mila’s cheeks turn red.
“Gross. You can both go now.” I throw a pillow at Alex, but he dodges it.
Mila giggles, standing up. “No, I’m leaving. You, talk to your sister.”
He hums, kissing her quickly before she disappears. Once the door closes behind her, he drops onto her spot on the bed.
“Need a towel?” His eyebrow hitches at where my clothes have soaked through the blanket.
“Don’t worry about me.” I roll my eyes. “And stop talking to me like everything is fine. Explain yourself. You knew Jacob was Sigma Sin when I told you about the internship, didn’t you? You knew that even though I was in LA, I was still surrounded by the House.”
He nods.
“How could you let that happen? How could you let me apply to the program, not knowing who I was dealing with? He almost killed you.”
“Our father almost killed me.”
“Because Jacob had you bound to a chair.”
“That was part of my trial.”
“You almost died, Alex!” A tear slips out, and I’ve lost my composure.
“I almost lost you because of these lethal games you all play in the name of the House. And you let me go with one of them to LA. What if he hadn’t changed his mind?
Do you realize what he and his friends were planning to do to me to get back at our father? ”
“No.” Alex’s shoulders tense. “Like I said, he saved my life. I thought he was on our side. I didn’t know Declan was hanging new information over his head, trying to get him back in the House, or that he wanted our father dead.”
“You didn’t know?” I swallow hard.
He shakes his head.
“But Declan did.”
“I had a discussion with him about that.” Alex’s fingers flex.
“I guess that explains his black eye.” Of all the shitty things that have happened, knowing my brother fought the fraternity president in my name is reassuring. “I’m kind of surprised you let him live.”
“Maybe I’ve grown?” Alex smirks. “Although, I’ve got a few more words for Jacob when he gets to Bristal.”
“Jacob’s coming to Bristal?” My spine stiffens.
“He’s teaching at Briar next semester.” Alex’s gaze trails off. “He didn’t tell you?”
“No.”
Alex hums, still avoiding looking me in the eyes.
“What else?” I know my brother well enough to know when he’s avoiding telling me something.
“Jacob is taking over the House.”
“Taking over, as in…?”
“He accepted the position to be the president of the new Council.”
No. No. No.
Jacob isn’t just Sigma Sin. He isn’t just the Interrogator. He’s claiming the highest seat there is within the college fraternity and beyond.
“If he has that much power, what does he want with our family?” My eyebrows pinch. “What did Dad do to him?”
“He really didn’t tell you anything, did he?”
“No.” And it’s embarrassing because I didn’t ask.
I accepted he was a professor and nothing more. I trusted him.
“Maybe you should ask him that then. I’m not saying forgive him. But you deserve to know the truth.”
“And you’re not going to tell me?”
Alex shrugs. “I can if you want.”
I believe he would, but I don’t want to hear it from Alex. I don’t want to hear it at all.
“No. I’m done with Jacob. I don’t need his explanations. As far as I’m concerned, he can burn in hell.”
After all, he’s Sigma Sin. He will.