Noah’s Novel Notes
C hapter One ~
For starters, if this is how everything went down when Bryan left you, he better pray he doesn’t run into me. I have zero respect for the Bland Box of Crackers (Ashton told me that’s what we call him).
Okay, now onto constructive (and very loving) criticism.
While you set the scene of Juniper Grove (and Book Esme’s –hereby referred to as BE- external conflict) up well, I would like to see you dig deeper into the internal conflict of BE.
You tell me about her heartache, her anger, and her confliction over Ryan’s abandonment, but I’m not feeling it for myself.
Try to get rid of words like “feel” and ‘“think” and drop strong verbs.
Instead, describe it. Utilize the five senses to coax your reader deep into the warring emotions of BE.
You’re doing great, sweetheart.