Noah’s Novel Notes
Esme. Lorraine. Jenkins. Baby, you are bringing the heat!
I was blushing reading through that first kiss.
I wonder if that’s how you really felt when we first kissed on the island.
Do you still feel that way when I press my lips to yours?
When I run my fingers down your arms? When I whisper how much I adore you into your ear? When I—
Okay, I paused to video call with you, so when you read this note, remember I stopped in the middle to call you and tell you how much I miss you right now.
On to the notes!
This chapter was a pivotal moment in BE’s arc.
She wavers back and forth on whether she should have this fling with a perfect stranger (thank you, my very real Esme, for deciding to, by the way), ultimately deciding to go for it.
It shows her emotional instability due to the external conflict present in her life, which is great.
BUT. I fear many readers may not like my character and will surmise he is taking advantage of a heartbroken girl.
To work around this, I suggest adding in internal thought and dialogue between the two characters that presents a different side to BE.
Lean into the underlying character arc that BE didn’t truly love Ryan and that, while she is hurting from the embarrassment of the situation, she isn’t actually hurt by the loss of him. Does that make sense?
You’re doing amazing work, sweetheart. I am so proud of you!