Revile

Prologue

brISTOL

Eight Months Ago . . .

Staring out the window, I don’t really see anything out there. I’m not paying attention to the blue sky or the dark clouds rolling in. My mind is screaming at me with all that I’d gone through at the hands of a madman. If not for the pain meds, my body would be throbbing where I was stabbed.

I close my eyes, and my breath hitches as I remember the sound of the guy’s voice.

Of him telling me he was sorry and that it was my fault because I had allowed myself to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.

He hurt me. He raped me, leaving his semen on my body, making me feel dirtier than the dirt I laid in.

Then he left me there to die. I wish I had.

Dying would have been much more pleasant.

I can’t even face those who saved me. The very idea of any of them having witnessed me at my lowest is more than enough embarrassment to handle.

I wanted them all to leave, but they refused to go.

Ivy, Reaper’s ol’ lady, has only left me alone to check on the twins.

During those times, Reaper sat in the chair, keeping quiet.

Even though he hasn’t spoken, I’ve felt his eyes on me.

Ivy, though, she’s been talking to me every once in a while.

“I want to go home,” I finally speak up when Ivy returns, but I don’t look at her.

“The doctors don’t want you to go home by yourself. You need someone to help you for a little bit while you heal,” Ivy remarks, taking her seat next to Reaper.

“I can take care of myself, I’ll be fine,” I mumble, turning to stare at the two of them. Why is it they won’t leave me alone? The nurses were scared to ask them to leave—any of them.

I wanted them all to go, but they refused to listen. That is, all but one.

Beast.

He’d come in earlier, and when I said I didn’t want to see him, he turned around and left.

From what I’ve heard, he left the hospital altogether.

A part of me aches at the knowledge he did.

This being due to the fact I’ve been half in love with the guy since the first time I met him years ago.

But he wouldn’t lift the friendship status that he put me in.

To him, I was just his friend, along with the waitress who brought him his beers.

I had to watch him flirt and take home more than one woman over the course of years.

With this having happened, knowing that I’m in love with the man, I didn’t want him to see me like this. It’s bad enough he was there when the guys found me. I can’t face him now.

“Don’t try that shit with us, Bristol,” Reaper remarks gruffly.

The tone of his voice sends chills down my spine.

Put that with the way his eyes seem to hold that edge of rage in them.

I’ve always known he was a man you don’t screw around with.

Which I wouldn’t in the first place. He’s a friend along with being my boss.

His wife and ol’ lady, well, she’s become a really good friend.

“You need someone to help you, and with all that happened, we’re not about to leave you unprotected. ”

“He’s right, Brissy,” Ivy says, scooting her chair closer. Reaching out, she takes my hand in hers. “We’re taking you home with us. You can stay there as long as you like. You’re not alone in this. We’re here for you. All of us are.”

Not all of them.

Beast wasn’t.

But that’s my fault.

I turned him away.

And in the process, I feel like I might have lost my best friend.

Four Months Ago . . .

“What do you mean he left?” Pain slices through me at the news Ivy and Sutton just gave me, not realizing the impact it would have on me.

It’s been months since the attack, and I’m still living at Reaper and Ivy’s house.

I haven’t gone back to working at the pub, and I don’t think I want to.

I have a hard time even stepping out the front doors of this house.

Going there would be more than I can handle.

I finally got to where I can go to the clubhouse without panicking.

Going there, I knew I was safe. No one could hurt me there.

Or so I thought.

Beast did, though.

He ignored me the first time I went there and ended up taking one of the women there back to his room.

That was a few days ago.

Now, he’s gone.

“Yeah, Reaper, just told me Beast was heading out for a while to handle some club business,” Ivy answers, watching me carefully. “He’ll be back, though.”

I nod, feeling myself shut down. This isn’t going to be easy. I’ve lost him, and I never even had him in the first place.

“You know, Brissy, if you want something or someone, you got to make it known,” Sutton remarks, getting my attention with that statement.

“What are you talking about?”

I know I hadn’t said anything to anyone about anything that involved Beast.

“Come on, we’re not dense. We know you have a thing for Beast. You and he were tight before that day that we shall not speak of,” she states, cocking a brow. “That doesn’t mean we can’t talk about Beast. You want him.”

“He left,” I whisper, crossing my arms, rubbing my hands up and down my upper arms, trying to get rid of the chill there.

“But he’ll be back. When he gets back, all you got to do is hold on and let him know what you want,” Ivy says, glancing down to Paxton, who’d run into the room screeching for his mom. His twin sister running behind him with a toy hammer in her hand.

The two of them are hilarious together. They might be toddlers, but Paxton is protective of Sage, even if she’s constantly trying to hit him. I love it when Reaper and Ivy let me watch the two kids. In the time I’ve been staying here, I’ve become Auntie Brissy to them.

“Sage, stop trying to hit Paxton with your hammer,” Ivy mutters sternly, hands planted on her hips.

“But, Mommy, he broke enwine,” Sage complains, face getting red as she tells on her brother about him messing up the toy engine she loves to play with.

“Paxton,” Reaper calls his son’s name as he comes into the room. “I told you about that shit. You don’t break your sister’s toys.”

“She brokes my wegos first,” Paxton yells, pointing a finger at his twin.

“Fuckin’ hell,” Reaper grumbles.

“Reaper,” Ivy snaps. “Language.”

Sutton and I both snicker because we both know no matter what, Reaper wasn’t going to check his mouth around the kids. He says the same thing every time. They know not to repeat the words that come out of his mouth. It’s hilarious to watch. That is until he ends up carting Ivy somewhere private.

“I’ll just leave you guys alone to hash it out,” I state, taking both kids’ hands as Sutton follows behind. Thanks to these two kids the conversation was changed from Beast, and I didn’t have to hear Ivy say more about it. Hopefully, she won’t bring it up again.

“I should probably be getting home too.” Sutton sighs. “I think Tombstone and Bash have had enough daddy-son time to watch football.”

“You know you love giving that to them.” I smile, happy she has that to go home to.

“Yes, I do, but I also like to be with them to watch the game,” she says, grinning brightly.

“Anyway, before I go, just think on something for me until Beast gets back. He’s the one you want.

Always has been, and if you want to keep him, you need to hold on and show him just that.

That you’re willing to hold on. You’ve been through hell with what happened.

But remember one other thing while you think on this, Beast didn’t get his name for nothing.

None of them do. Something made him into who he is.

See if you can convince him you want him to hold on just as tight as you want to hold him. ”

Sutton doesn’t give me a chance to respond to her words as they sink in.

Instead, I watch her leave the room, those words taking root.

I want to think about it, but right now, I can’t.

Honestly, there’s no point dwelling on it at the moment.

Not when he’s gone, and I’m here. Maybe when he comes back, it’s not like I’ll be going anywhere anytime soon.

I’ll use the time to finish healing. Hopefully, the two of us can get back to at least being friends like we were.