Chapter 26
26
Cortney
A light drizzle accompanies us Saturday afternoon when Ollie and I leave for his baseball game. The sky is gray, heralding an incoming storm. Normally, he drives himself to the field, but I talked him into spending a few extra minutes with his momma. After he confirmed he could catch a ride out after with Lincoln, he got his gear and jumped in my car.
Just like old times.
I twist my fingers on the steering wheel and glance over at my big boy. He might be nearing eighteen, and by looks, he’s definitely closer to man than child, but he’ll always be my baby.
Even when he’s thirty-five.
“Is that guy going to be there?”
“His name is Spencer, and no, I didn’t invite him.”
From my periphery, I see him give a choppy nod.
“What’s on your mind?”
I’m grateful for the relationship he and I have built over the years. He’s always had a good head on his shoulders, and I welcome his opinion.
“I don’t want to see you hurt again.”
“Spencer isn’t like Sebastian.”
“You were going to marry that guy. I just… Are you sure you should be doing this?”
I could laugh at the role reversal. His honesty and concern warms my heart. Over the course of his childhood, I didn’t date. From the time I broke up with his father until he entered high school, I kept myself off the market. My sole focus was my son. After a few failed attempts at dating apps, I met Sebastian. This is as new to Ollie as it is to me.
“Let me ask you this. Can you remember a time when Sebastian took care of me? When I was sick, or my head hurt, or I had a long day at work?”
“No.” Ollie’s answer follows my question so quickly it’s clear he didn’t need to even think about it. “You always take care of yourself.”
“Sometimes it’s nice to be looked after.” I nod mechanically. “More than once in the few weeks we’ve been together, Spencer has. I didn’t even have to ask. He was just there for me when I needed someone.”
“Okay.” The word is exaggerated. Ollie gazes out his window. “But it’s not like you’re without people who care about you. I care about you. And all my uncles and aunts. Grandma.”
“You’re right.” My throat feels tight at his growing list. “We have a whole group of people who care about us. More than most. But romantic love is different from the familial kind.”
Ollie makes a gagging sound. “Don’t say anything about sex.”
My laugh bursts forth in the car. “No, honey. You’re old enough and smart enough to put that together without me talking about it.”
He retches again.
“Stop.” I slap the back of my hand across his chest with a laugh. “I’m trying to be serious.”
“Too serious.”
At the approaching stop sign, I slow the car. “As I was saying. There’s something special that comes from being cared for by someone who chooses you. I really like Spencer. It’s nice to be cared for like that.”
Oliver’s silent as I pull through the intersection. He curls the bill of his hat in his hands. “I get it.”
I pat his knee. “You don’t have to worry about your old mom, but it’s sweet that you do.”
“Enough,” he groans, sinking down in his seat.
“Okay, enough relationship talk. You going to hit a home run tonight?”
“Bro, I can’t just plan to hit a home run.”
“I’m just saying it’d be really nice. Everyone will be there.”
“Mom,” he groans.
“What? Think of it as some encouragement.”
I pull into the parking lot and shut off the car. Ollie runs off after a couple of teammates, leaving me to walk alone to the field.
Our bleachers are empty. The Powell clan alone usually takes up an entire section. Only Juniper sits by herself near the middle, wearing a pink tank and jean shorts, a paper coffee cup in her hand and a blanket draped over her lap.
I scan my surroundings on the way up, spotting Lee by the fence talking to Ollie’s high school coaches. The sight should bring a smile to my face, but then I remember I’m still mad at him.
“Hey!” Juniper waves.
“I was hoping it’d be less wet before game time.” I wipe the droplets off my seat.
“I know. I should have brought an extra blanket.”
“The older Oliver gets, the more I’ve lost my touch. From diaper bags to baseball bags.” My sigh is wistful. “I’m so used to making sure he packed his things that I forget to pack my own.”
“There’s enough people with their babies coming that should have you covered. I’m sure our siblings will bring enough blankets to turn this thing into a fort.”
“Wouldn’t that be something?” I laugh.
Little by little, the family arrives. Juniper and I scoot down the row, leaving me on the end. The wind picks up, sending tickling strands of hair across my face.
“He’s going to try to talk to you.” She leans over to whisper after taking hold of Aiden’s baby.
I smile down at the little boy, but my tone is pure annoyance. “Tell him don’t bother.”
“He feels really bad.”
“He should.”
She casts a reassuring smile at her husband. “You caught him off guard.”
“So he filled you in then?”
“He did…”
The way her voice trails is like needles pricking my insides. “What? What did he do?”
“He might have shared with a few of the others.”
I cast her a sideways glance. “A few? Or all of them?”
“I think all of your brothers were in the room.” She shifts baby John into her other arm. He coos and blinks beneath his little blue sun hat.
“I’m too sober for this.” As the only girl in the family, it’s never a good day when the boys decide to band together against me. Five against one is never a fair fight.
The vibration in my pocket shifts my attention away from overprotective siblings and onto something new. Spencer’s name appears in the message notification, cranking the flutters in my stomach into overdrive. I wipe a droplet from the screen.
Spencer
Hey, gorgeous. What are you up to?
Me
Sitting through some baseball and overbearing siblings
Spencer
I thought so. Wondering how you might feel about hard launching this thing
Me
Less confident than I was about twenty minutes ago. Why?
Spencer
Because I’m already on the way to the field with Mom
Me
So less of a question and more of a heads-up?
Spencer
Exactly
Me
How’d you get roped into a high school baseball game?
Spencer
My mom made plans with yours, Sutton and Silas are working, and she has a suspended license
Me
This feels like a setup orchestrated by the matriarchs
Spencer
Or an ambush
Me
Come on over. Might as well fuel the gossip in person
Spencer
It’ll be okay
Me
Or it won’t. This runaway train is already barreling toward collision, but I’d rather take the impact with you by my side
Spencer
Be there in five
My sigh is audible as I tuck away my phone.
“Brace for impact,” I grit out to Juniper, wrapping my arms tight as I shiver in the cold. I scout the stands for another baby to hold for warmth, but they’re all taken.
“Oh no.”
“Oh yes. On a scale of zero to he tries to put Spencer in the hospital , how do you think Lee is about to react?”
“Four,” she answers immediately. “Six.”
My narrowed gaze finds hers.
“Seven,” she amends, tucking her blanket tight around herself and John.
“You’re not helping.”
“I’m kidding. It’ll be fine. The last guy Lee got in a fight with was my dad and that was like five years ago.”
Her assurance helps release some tension.
“He’s worried about you, and he doesn’t know what to do with that.”
“He doesn’t need to be worried about me.”
“I know that, and you know that. But he sees it differently.” John begins to fuss, and she pauses to pop his pacifier into his mouth. “He’s shared with me how when your dad passed away, he felt like he had to step into that role. He kept Jack and Jude out of trouble. He helped raise Corjan and Aiden. And when Spencer left you, he’s the one who got you through to the other side. I think he’s projecting what you went through with Sebastian.”
“You know, I could understand that if he wasn’t so patriarchal about it.”
She grins. “You’d think after all this time he’d know bossing you around is a terrible idea.”
“Right? Because now I just want to date Spencer even harder.”
The hoot bursting from Juniper has everyone’s attention. Once she sobers, she nudges my shoulder.
“Don’t tell my husband, but I have to admit Spencer is way hotter than Sebastian.”
“Your secret is safe with me.” I bite my lip as I watch Spencer walk down the concrete path. He chose his approach from the opposite side, meaning he doesn’t have to walk by my entire family to reach me. My breath seems to stutter at the sight of him. Those dark blue jeans hugging his hips just right. The long-sleeved shirt. The material pushed back just enough to expose his muscled forearms. Even with the dark shades covering his eyes, I feel his stare like a physical caress.
His arm is crooked at the elbow, and his mom hangs onto the joint. Her smile is broad and proud as her missing middle son accompanies her to her seat.
Spencer kisses his mom’s cheek before he climbs the bleachers with a slow assuredness that melts my panties. He’s sending a message. A strong one. The only person he cares about in this section is me.
His shadow crosses my face, and I tilt my head back, rubbing my palms over my upper arms to increase warmth.
I raise an eyebrow, and eye the blanket in his hand.
He does a slow sweep of my body. Tingles erupt at the top of my head and cascade down beneath his observation.
“You must be freezing.”
The blanket in his arms unfolds with a simple snap, and he wraps the soft material around my shoulders.
“You’re a lifesaver.” I clench my jaw to stop the obnoxious chatter. Without waiting for an invitation, he settles into the vacant space beside me.
Peeling the sunglasses from his head unveils his devastating blue eyes.
“Hey, gorgeous.”
“Hey, Spence.”
His eyebrow slowly rises. “Gonna make me ask for it?”
“I wouldn’t dare.” I lean in.
The kiss is slow but brief. His lips are warm and soft against my own. His tongue sweeps into my mouth for a moment, a satisfying taste before it’s gone. Pinching my chin in his index finger and thumb, Spencer tilts my head down to plant another kiss on my forehead.
“How’s that for a hard launch?” he asks, sweeping his gaze over my face.
A flick of my eyes reveals a few turned heads in our direction.
“Pretty damn good.”
Parents on the other bleachers begin shrieking as the opposing players take the field. Our boys are hitting first. I point out Lincoln waiting in the hole and Oliver behind him at fourth at bat.
“They must be good hitters,” he remarks, his arm winding around my waist.
“I’m his mom, so of course I think he’s the best there ever was.”
Spencer smiles at me and finds my hand in my lap.
As the game gets underway, I relax back into Spencer’s hold. His arm behind me and his hand wrapped around mine ground me. I’ve sat in these bleachers a hundred times by now, yet this time feels different. How can everything with him feel so new when I’d spent the past three years in a relationship? The answer is like a flashing sign in my head.
It’s because he does things without me having to ask.
I didn’t ask him to come.
I didn’t ask him to bring a blanket.
I didn’t ask him for a kiss, or to cuddle, or to hold my hand.
I didn’t have to ask him to put his phone away and pay attention to my son’s game.
Spencer just knows.
We might have spent decades apart, but he knows how to make me feel happy and loved.
And that’s why it all feels so new and fresh and freeing. Because with Sebastian, I had to beg for his love. Spencer gives it away freely.
That makes all the difference.
“Let’s go, Lincoln!” Juniper cups her hands around her mouth to amplify the cheer. Lee stands at the fence, issuing encouragement as Lincoln steps up to the plate.
I feel like I’m holding my breath. I force the air from my lungs and release my shoulders from my ears.
“Nervous?” Spencer asks.
“I always get this way when they’re up to bat. Ever since the two of them were little kids. I just—Oof.” I flinch as Lincoln swings and misses the first pitch.
“Strike one!” the umpire calls.
“You’ll get the next one!” Jack shouts from the row below us.
“I can feel how tense you are.” Spencer draws circles with his thumb on the back of my hand.
“I used to be worried about them getting hit by a pitch. Now I just want them to get on base.”
The second pitch sails in too high.
The umpire marks the pitch as a ball.
“You’re a really good mom.” Beneath the growing cheers and chants, I nearly miss Spencer’s voice. “I assumed as much, but seeing it blows me away, beautiful.”
Looking into his eyes is like being seen for the very first time. I’m stripped bare. All the struggles and trials and difficulties of raising a child alone as a working mom lie at my feet.
“Thanks.”
My smile is cut off by the crack of the bat. Lincoln sends the third pitch sailing down the first baseline.
Our section erupts. The deep shouts from his uncles join with the delighted screams from the aunts. Lincoln slides into second base just as the ball returns from the outfield into the second baseman’s glove.
“Ollie’s turn,” I say both to Spencer and myself. My hand flexes in his as I wait for Ollie’s first pitch.
Crack!
I’m on my feet at the sound of the connecting hit. The ball soars through the air, and Ollie takes off. Once again, the Powells jump up as one, screaming as we watch that ball go high into the outfield, passing over the fence straight over the numbers.
The bleachers are chaotic as Ollie sends himself, Lincoln, and the runner on third base home. I scream so loud I can’t even hear myself. My hair flies like a tornado around my head. Ollie looks over and points at me as he jogs around second base, his smile proud.
Above all the yells, an earsplitting whistle comes from my side.
Spencer has two fingers in his mouth. He creates a piercing shriek above the chaos. He smiles broadly and joins us in cheering as if he’s known my son not just a few days but his entire life.
Smiles and congrats are passed around the bench. Other baseball moms look over to wave, cheer, or show their support for my kid. Spencer slings his arm over my shoulder, and I wrap mine around his waist in a hug.
“Oh my goodness, it’s just like you’re all kids again.” Mom stands at the foot of the bleachers with her back to the field, surveying her brood.
The games back then would have been our own. Mom would have hauled us around to support one another, but it wouldn’t be unusual for the Stones to come if they weren’t also on the team. We’d sit together and share snacks from the concession stand, huddled under blankets during the cold months and sharing sunscreen and bug spray in the summer.
This is how it always should have been , I think to myself and snuggle deeper into Spencer’s side.
The thought brings tears to my eyes.
This is how it’ll be from now on.
Joyful, peaceful, chaos.