26. Roman
26
ROMAN
Liliana: Are you a ‘blend-in color’ swimsuit kinda guy or a 'this is the only time I'll wear crazy colors' kinda guy
I stare at my phone, blinking.
Roman: It's weird that this is the second time I have to ask my physical therapist if she's on drugs
Liliana: It's weird that your first ever sentence to me was offering a mocktail and you still think you need to ask that
Liliana: Now focus and answer the question
I'm unable to tamp down on my smile.
Roman: Hate to disappoint, but I am not a pink flamingos on my swim trunks kinda guy
Liliana: Roman, that just makes me think you DO have shorts with pink flamingos on them
Liliana: Wear them tonight
I frown at my phone.
Roman: Am I to read this as fashion is now part of my therapy? Because I know your methods are insane, but…
Liliana: Hmm. An interesting theory. Now I'm wondering if I COULD work fashion into your therapy.
Roman: Liliana…
Liliana: Relax. Just bring the shorts.
After a moment…
Liliana: Do you trust me?
I don't even hesitate.
Roman: You know I do.
Roman: I'll be there tonight with pink flamingos on, Doc.
* * *
By the time I enter the clinic a few hours later, I've managed to come down from the high of Lily texting me—which is insane, because we've been randomly texting for weeks now, and my brain definitely shouldn't temporarily lose mental capacity every time her name pops up on my phone—and figured out what she's probably planning.
Aquatic therapy.
I know she noticed my nerve pain last time I was here. I couldn't hide it very well; not that I even feel the need to hide anything from her these days. She knows anyway; plus, it’s a relief to be 100% honest with someone. The nerve pain isn’t new, but I haven’t had a bad case of it in a while. I got used to the usual sensations that come with an incomplete spinal cord injury—the tingling, burning, pins and needles—but I think with our increased training, my body is protesting. I’ve barely been able to sleep the past week from the pain. I thought about drowning it with booze, like I have in the past, but…I don’t want to do that anymore.
I don’t know if being in a pool will help, but I’ll try anything.
And even if it doesn’t…seeing Lily in a swimsuit might.
I try to not-so-obviously check her out as I approach her in the clinic. She’s waiting for me, towels in her hands. I take in her clothes, trying to see if she has that knotted string around her neck that always gives away when a girl is wearing a string bikini, clearly in denial about what professional swim attire probably looks like.
“You better be wearing flamingos under those joggers,” she says with a disappointed glare at my legs.
Sighing, I stop in front of her and pull up my shirt to expose the waistband of my shorts.
And I delight in the way her glare drops and her throat moves in a rough swallow when it also exposes my abs.
“There’s no need to doubt me, Liliana. Haven’t I been a good patient lately?”
Her eyes dart to my face, her cheeks pinkening just a little. “You—I-I mean yes, you’ve been good lately. Patient. You’ve been a good patient .”
I don’t bother to control my grin. “Happy to hear it, Doc.”
Flustered, she gestures toward the hallway. “Just…just go .”
My grin widens. “I don’t know where we’re going. You’re just too entranced by my six-pack to realize that.”
Finally, she sighs as she starts down the hallway. “I didn’t count, but I’m pretty sure that was an eight-pack, Roman.”
“It is. I was trying to be humble.”
She flashes a glare over her shoulder, to where I’m already following her, but there’s a twinkle of amusement in her eyes.
She’s already faced forward again when she says, “Why? Cocky looks good on you.”
Now I’m the one swallowing roughly.
I try to focus on where we’re going before my shorts can get too tight. “Anyway, how are we going to do my PT in the pool if the sight of my abs makes you lose focus?”
Another sigh, this one sounding a little powerless. “No idea. This might be a terrible idea, but…” She turns slightly to look at me again. “I hate that you’re in pain. I thought water might help.”
And just like that, the air sobers.
We’re both quiet as she leads us to the pool. I didn’t even know this place has a pool. Aquatic therapy was suggested to me a few times, but I couldn’t get over needing to be lifted into the water. That, and the general vulnerable feeling of being unable to kick through the water to stay afloat.
When we reach the pool, Lily stops a few feet from the shallow end. Then she turns to face me.
“Your records said you haven’t done aquatic therapy. Was it the lift?”
She knows me so well. “Among other things, but yes.”
She nods. “I figured. We don’t need to use it. I trust both of us that you can safely slide into the water. Any other concerns I should know about?”
I swallow nervously and look around the room. It’s a small pool, clearly used for something that isn’t swimming laps, and I notice Lily somehow made it so there’s no one else here. Any fears I have, anything that happens…it’s just us.
“What—” I clear my throat and try again. “What exactly are we doing?”
Lily gives me a soft smile. “Whatever we feel like doing. We can get in and use the bars to practice walking—forward and back, side to side—or we can just get in and float.”
Slowly, relief trickles into my bloodstream. “Okay. Can we decide when we get in?”
“Of course. But—” Here it comes. “I need to put a flotation device around you.” She looks almost guilty as she says it. “I’m certified as a lifeguard, but to be extra safe, I figured I’d tie a pool noodle or two around your chest. Is that okay?”
I have a now-rare negative thought of none of this is okay , but I can admit the idea makes me feel better, too. I nod. “Yeah, that’s fine.”
I can see the relief on Lily’s face. Setting the towels down on a nearby chair, she strips her shirt and sweatpants off in quick motions, then straightens and waits for me to do the same.
I don’t think I can move past the pounding in my chest.
She’s wearing a modest one-piece blue bathing suit but…at this point, I’m pretty sure she could be wearing a burlap sack and I’d still think she was the most beautiful girl in the world. She might have to wear a sack to cover her curves. Because even a swimsuit that covers her tits and ass is tight enough to reveal them.
“Roman?” she asks. My brain catches on to the humor in her tone, and my gaze shoots to her face.
Her hands are on her hips, lips are pressed together, and those blue eyes are laughing at me. “Payback for the abs,” she says casually.
I bark out a surprised laugh. “Touché.”
By the time I’ve managed to wiggle out of my joggers and strip off my shirt, I think I hear her murmur, “Definitely a bad idea.”
I don’t respond. The truth is, I’m relieved our flirting has lightened the moment. I’m hoping the sensation of being in the water helps the pain, because this is actually terrifying.
Slowly, I climb out of my wheelchair and onto the soft water mat beside the pool. Then I scoot over to the edge.
“Hold on,” Lily says from behind me. She’s been close enough to touch this whole time, of course. I hear her grab something, then feel as she loops it around my chest and fastens it in the back. I look down to see…not quite a floatie, but some kind of flotation device.
“Here,” she says, handing me a pool noodle. “I figured you’d feel better having one to hold on to.”
She’s not wrong. Holding the noodle tightly in one hand, I scoot closer to the edge and prepare to slide into the water. But then there’s a splash, and I realize Lily beat me to it.
I quirk an eyebrow at her standing in front of me, the water up to her collarbone. “You gonna catch me, Doc?”
She’s not laughing at my teasing.
“Always.”
And when I finally enter the water, it’s with a racing heart.
I let out the most relieved sigh when the splash has cleared, and I’ve settled onto the pool noodle. Even in the shallow water, my legs stretched out before me and feet grazing the bottom, the weightlessness feels…euphoric.
“What the fuck , Liliana,” I groan up at the ceiling. “Why haven’t we done this before? This is the least pain I’ve ever been in.”
I barely hear her soft giggle, but I feel the way she grabs the end of the noodle to stay close to me. “I can look into getting you in here during the week sometimes.”
“I’d pay any amount of money for that,” I mumble, my eyes closing.
She lets me simply float. I revel in the feeling of being weightless, my nerve pain dulling to barely a hum. After a few minutes, I ask, “Can we go a little deeper? So I can straighten and stretch out my legs?”
I lift my head to see her chewing on her bottom lip as she looks toward the deeper end. The whole pool is barely the size of a living room, and the “deep end” looks like it’s barely six feet deep, but I know she’s mulling over any risks. Finally, she says, “If you’re trying to float, can I put a donut around you?”
I nod. I’ll agree to anything.
I watch as she climbs out of the pool to grab something I didn’t notice when we first came in. It’s…a giant inflatable donut with sprinkles?
“Liliana,” I scold weakly. “I thought you were kidding.”
“That sounds like a personal problem,” she quips as she drops back into the water. “It’s not a board-certified therapy tool, but…I had a feeling you’d enjoy a comfortable float today. This way, you can rest on it.”
When she reaches me, she looks between the donut and my body with a frown of concentration. “Can you stand and lean on me so I can switch it out?”
Groaning, I pull my legs under me. Once my feet are planted, I force myself to stand, quickly grabbing Lily’s shoulders to brace myself.
She rushes to hold my ribs. “Okay?” she asks worriedly.
God, she’s so close. I wish I could pull her closer.
“I’m good, Doc,” I say with a tight smile in an effort to remind myself where we are.
Once she decides she believes me, Lily nods and slides the first flotation device from my chest, down to my waist. That way, she can gesture for me to put my arms through the donut floatie and guide it down under my armpits.
When I can lower my arms and sink my weight into the pool again, I do it with another groan of relief. Lily was right, this is way nicer. I can use my arms to paddle into deeper water to let my legs hang, and then I can relax my arms and head on the inflatable donut.
“I need to put a pool in my yard,” I groan. “I’m pretty sure I could sleep like this.”
Lily walks over to stand before me. “You might get a little prune-y,” she says with a smile.
“I’ll happily shrivel into a raisin if it means this kind of pain relief,” I all but slur.
She looks downright delighted. “This better be the last time you question my methods.”
I lazily wave a hand. “I will never question you again.”
She shakes her head with a chuckle. “Who knew I only needed to get you into the water to placate you.” Then she sobers and adds quietly, “I’m just glad it helped. I don’t like when you’re in pain.”
Her comment brings me out of the haze I’d sunk into and back to reality. I lift my head so I can study her.
She’s only a few inches away from me, close enough that she can get to me in a second. The water is deep enough that I wonder if she has to stand on her toes at this depth. She seems comfortable, though, her hands moving gracefully through the water as she lets me relax, watching me the whole time. Her blonde hair is in a ponytail, the end dipped in the water, and she has water droplets all over her face from jumping in.
I step a little closer, just so I can watch one slide down her cheek.
Goddamn, she’s pretty.
I think the water must bring out the color of her eyes because they’re piercing right now. She’s never looked more beautiful. Especially with her attention solely on me, never looking away as I shift a little bit closer.
I can’t help it—I might die if I don’t touch her. Lifting my hand, I place it gently on her face and wipe a water droplet from her cheek.
Her breath hitches at my touch. I wonder if she’ll pull away, or if she’ll do me the honor of staying this close. I won’t make any move to kiss her, even though every fiber of my being is screaming at me to lean in. I just…want her close.
I watch indecision war in her eyes. She glances at my lips, and I wonder if she’s thinking about our kiss, the one that never happened. Sometimes when she looks at me, I swear she’s thinking of it too. When her gaze lifts again, her hand comes up to cover mine. And a breath whooshes from my lungs when she leans into my touch, her eyes dropping to half-mast.
“Roman,” she murmurs, sounding as dazed as I did a minute ago. It’s not a warning, as I thought it might be, though.
My eyes drop to her lips, the need to taste the sound only growing. She’s so perfect.
But I’m not yet completely out of my mind. I know where we are. I know what’s allowed and what’s not. It’s not like the night she drove me home, when we could pretend…
“I know,” I murmur, letting my thumb brush over her cheek again. Just to touch her soft skin, to feel the warmth of the flush.
My gaze moves back to her eyes, finding her staring back at me. She doesn’t shy away, our connection staying locked as I crystallize this moment to hold on to for when I have to let her go.
But not before I tell her softly, “Thank you.”
My words are loaded with meaning. She knows it, too. But she simply smiles and leans into my hand for another moment before pulling back. “You’re welcome.”
As soon as there’s a little bit of space between us, the water feels cold, and a shiver runs through me.
Lily notices, of course, and jerks her head toward the bars at the other end of the pool. “Want to do a little bit of work? We don’t have to stay here for the whole hour; we can plan for half-hour sessions in the future.”
I smile again, but this one’s tighter. “Sounds good, Doc.”
As we move through the water, I wonder if this tension is going to last our entire session, if these moments of want are going to become more and more frequent during my time with Lily.
Leave it to her to lighten the moment, same way she always does.
“So…besides flamingos, what other shorts do you have?”