38. Roman
38
ROMAN
I pull her tank top off in one swift move. By the time I’m lifting her sports bra, I’m letting out a growl of frustration at the layers that keep interrupting my ability to taste her. It isn’t until she’s finally naked from the waist up, and I can take her lips in one more deep, seductive kiss, that I’m finally satisfied.
I’m still kissing her as I lay her down on the bed, and I both feel and taste the sigh of contentment she lets out when my weight settles on top of her. She wraps one leg around my hip, pulling me impossibly closer.
Her obvious hunger makes my own desperation ratchet. I’ve been fantasizing about this for months, replaying our one time together and thinking about what I would do differently if I ever got her to touch her again. And now that, by some miracle, she’s here with me, I’m dizzy with need. I want to do everything. Want to make her feel everything.
I take her mouth once more, hard, before letting my kisses drift over her cheek and down to her neck, where they become nips and bites and make her arch even harder into my body.
“ God, I missed you,” I groan into her skin, my hand sliding up to cup her breast as I brace my weight on the opposite forearm. When I give her nipple a harsh pinch, a moan spills from between her lips.
The sound drives me into a frenzy. Sliding farther down the bed, I kiss my way down her body, only stopping for a few seconds to cover first one nipple, then the other, with my mouth. Then I’m impatiently tearing her jeans off.
I feel her freeze as I’m reaching for her thong. “Wait, Roman, I just realized I haven’t shaved. You don’t have to?—”
Her words break off in a gasp when I rip the fabric from her body and lick from ass to clit.
“ Oh my God, ” she moans. Her hands sink into my new, long hair, and her legs tighten around my head.
I’m fucking starved for her. After two and a half years, I finally get the taste of her directly on my tongue, and already I’m wondering if I’ll ever get enough of it. My hands come around her thighs so I can hold her against my face, my tongue swirling in circles around her clit. I hear her moan and feel the way she arches against my mouth.
It isn’t until I slide one long finger inside her that my lips finally leave her skin. “Christ, Liliana, you taste like paradise,” I gasp, my finger working in and out of her as my thumb settles on her clit. I watch her force her eyes open so she can look down at me.
“That’s going to make me come,” she whispers, her hips starting to roll against my finger. She whimpers when I add another.
“Not yet,” I order in a deep growl, then drop my mouth to her skin again.
With two— three —fingers fucking into her, my lips suctioned around her clit, and my brusque command, I feel the moment she starts to shake. Out of the corner of my eye, I see her grasp the sheets beneath her, can hear her gasping for more air.
“Roman, I-I can’t?—”
“Not yet,” I growl, the vibration of my words making her legs clench tighter around my head.
“Roman,” she cries. “Pleaseplease please ? — ”
Driving my fingers deep inside her, I lift up just enough so that I can murmur, “Come for me, Liliana.”
She detonates.
I watch, mesmerized, as the orgasm rolls through her, as she clamps down on my fingers and moans through the pleasure. My fingers don’t slow until she finally drops, limp and trembling, back to the bed. After placing a gentle kiss on her hip, I lift up so I can quickly strip my shirt off. Then I shift up the bed until I’m lying on my side beside her, propped up on one elbow so I can look down at her.
“Beautiful, perfect woman,” I whisper, brushing my thumbs over her cheeks to wipe the tears away. When she wraps her arms around my neck and pulls me closer, I immediately drop a kiss on her lips.
“You couldn’t—” she starts, but it’s more of a croak than anything. Laughing, she clears her throat and tries again. “You couldn’t have gone easy on me the first time?”
My mouth twitches with a smile. “Not a chance.”
But then the nerves hit me. I knew they would, despite hoping and mentally preparing for this day. It doesn’t matter that Lily and I have already done this, that I’ve put in days, weeks, months of physical work to get my body where I want it to be—this injury is always going to have lingering effects. Sex is one of them.
Swallowing roughly, I admit the hard part out loud, wanting to be honest with Lily. “I…wasn’t sure what the sex would be like, so I wanted to make sure the part I was confident in would at least be good.”
She pulls back slightly so she can look at me as she asks, “What do you mean? We already know the sex is great.”
Gently, I push her back into the pillows and lift up, wanting to give us both space for this conversation. She lets her arms drop from around my neck.
“I loved you on top,” I start. “Watching you ride me, and seeing you come apart from that angle…it was amazing. But…I don’t want that to be the only position we can do. Because even though I can kind of walk now, I’m still limited for sex, specifically. And I can’t…fuck you the way I want to.”
Despite everything, all the work I’ve done and recovery I’ve accomplished, that fact still hurts me. It might not always, but for now, I let myself acknowledge the pain of that limitation.
And then I work my way around it.
“I did some research,” I continue. “Who knows what will work, but if I got you back, I wanted to be…ready.”
Before I can explain my research , Lily cups my face and pulls me down for a kiss. And I can feel every ounce of love that she pours into it.
“We’ll figure it out,” she whispers against my lips. “Together.”
My answer is another all-consuming kiss, and before long, I’m dropping down onto my side and pulling Lily onto hers, looping her leg over my hip in the same motion.
“Supposedly, doggy is the second-best position,” I say when I’m done kissing her senseless. I watch her dazed eyes try to focus on me. “Especially if I can wrap something around your waist and pull your hips into me. But I don’t want to do that this first time.” Another time, definitely. The idea of fucking Lily from behind, watching her ass shake as I pull her into me?—
“So, then how do you want me?” she asks, her words breathless.
At that, my grip tightens on her thigh, my fingers digging into the muscle. “An intoxicating—and distracting—question, Liliana,” I growl.
She huffs a laugh and pulls herself even closer. “Sorry. Continue.”
I loosen my grip on her thigh and brush my touch down to her knee, then back up to her hip, then her ribs.
“I actually think this position might be the best right now,” I murmur, my gaze dropping over her naked body. “I want to see your eyes, but I don’t completely trust myself for missionary, so…”
What I wouldn’t give to see her tits shake as I drive into her from above. But I know my hips would tire quickly, if they’d even be able to fuck her the way I want to…
Lily places a hand on my cheek and kisses me. “This position is perfect,” she whispers.
I smile against her mouth. “I bought some toys to make sure I can get you off,” I murmur. Because there’s no way in hell I was getting Lily into my bed and not making her come hard enough to see God.
A loud laugh bursts out of her, but before I can be offended, she says, “I’m sorry, did you not see how hard you just made me come? Unassisted?”
My lips stretch into a grin. “I believe someone once accused me of only knowing how to underachieve or overachieve.”
Chuckling, her hand slides down my neck, down to my chain where her fingers hook through it to pull me closer. “Well, at least you’re consistent.”
The moment her lips touch mine, the heat between us increases once more, and all teasing disappears. Without another word, I roll onto my back and reach into my bedside drawer.
I don’t care that my movements become hurried after that. Once I’ve grabbed what I need, I quickly strip my pants off and roll back toward Lily. I pull her close and hitch her leg over my hip again.
She watches, wide-eyed and chest heaving, as I slide a cock ring over my length. It’s not a fancy one, just something to hopefully keep me harder for longer. Because two and a half years later, my dick still has a mind of its own when it comes to orgasms and sensations.
I’m attempting to shove my worry about it back when I hear Lily breathe, “ God , I forgot how big you are.”
I have to tamp down on my smirk, any remnants of my hesitation disappearing. “I should probably be offended that I’m forgettable, but—” I slide the tip of my cock along her pussy. “Right now, I don’t really care.”
I love watching her as she stares at me playing with her wetness. But I don’t think I can stand another second without her taste on my lips, so I hungrily take her mouth in a kiss, my tongue diving deep to tangle with hers.
The moan she lets out is my undoing. And in one smooth move, I slide inside her.
Her moan turns into a gasp. “Oh my God. The cock ring?—”
I thrust again, and again she gasps.
“Can you feel it against your clit?” I groan.
Her nod is jerky. I didn’t quite trust myself with a vibrating cock ring, but I couldn’t help getting one with a little extra clit stimulation on top. Every time I slide all the way inside, the textured bump hits Lily’s clit.
She whimpers when I change angles slightly. “Yes, yes, right there.”
My brow furrows in concentration as I take her hips in both hands. While still thrusting into her, I move her lower body forward and back to meet my drives. The added assistance lets me go deeper, and harder.
“Oh fuck ,” she says breathily. Then she’s wrapping her arms around my neck, bumping her hips forward, taking over the motion from my hands. I keep one hand on her hip still, guiding her motions, but the other I slide into her hair at the nape of her neck and kiss her.
“You feel fucking incredible,” I breathe out against her lips. I have a bizarre moment of gratitude that my injury wasn’t a complete SCI, that I can still feel the mind-bending sensation of Lily’s pussy dripping down my cock, her muscles squeezing me every time I slide all the way in.
But it registers that she doesn’t seem mindless with pleasure, the way she did when she was on the verge of an orgasm. So I quickly grab the second thing I pulled from my bedside table.
The moment I press the buzzing vibrator against Lily’s clit, she jolts from the sensation, her eyes flying open. “What?—?”
My mouth moves to her neck, nipping and sucking the sensitive skin there. “Overachiever, remember?” I murmur.
It doesn’t take her long to recover from the shock, because a second later, her hips start rolling faster, chasing the small vibrator. Her breathing becomes shallow, and a sweat breaks out on her skin.
Now I can feel her spiraling. She frantically grabs for my face, pulling my lips back to hers. She’s gasping for air too hard to actually kiss me, but the bump and slide of our mouths against each other is a comfort in itself.
“You’re going to make me come,” she whispers. “Roman, I’m about to?—”
Her admission wrenches a sound out of me, and I press the vibrator harder against her clit. My grip on her hips tightens as I pull her into my thrusts with desperation.
I know she’s on the verge of coming, so I’m surprised when she reaches down to knock the bullet out of my hand. “I want you,” she gasps against my lips. “I only ever want you.” I can feel her muscles clamping down on me as she shakes and moans. “I want you and I love you and I?—”
My orgasm slams into me so hard, I think I black out for a minute. Between Lily’s words and the feeling of her absolutely losing it all over my cock, I’m bowled over by a tsunami of pleasure.
When the air finally settles, we’re both trembling, both breathing heavily. Still wrapped tightly in each other’s arms. I think I’d be happy to stay like this for the rest of the night.
“Holy shit,” I breathe. “That was…”
Lily laughs softly at the repeated line. “I wonder how long it’ll take us to stop saying that after sex.”
Smiling, I kiss her lips. “I’m guessing never.”
She lets out a sweet hum against my mouth. “I can live with that,” she whispers.
I think I could live in this moment, right here. With Lily in my arms and love shining in her eyes, the only thing that makes it less than perfect is when the discomfort of the cock ring registers.
Wincing, I roll onto my back and slide the ring off, then place it with the vibrator on my nightstand. When I turn back toward Lily, she’s lifted onto one hand and is staring down at me with a frown.
“Are you in pain?” she asks.
I shake my head with a smile and pull her down onto my chest. She braces her forearms on my chest as she waits for my answer.
“I’m fine, Liliana,” I reassure her. “I’m just not exactly used to the sensation of a cock ring.”
That at least earns me an amused smile. She drops her chin on top of her hands and stares up at me. “Have you used other sex toys?”
I shake my head as I prop an extra pillow behind my head. “I was a bit of a purist. Before.”
She lets out a thoughtful hum. “Same. But that just means we get to experiment together.”
I’m smiling as I tuck a strand of hair behind her ear, lost in the knowledge that she’s just as beautiful on the inside as she is on the outside.
She’s the sunshine I needed to illuminate the dark parts of my life, to show me just how not-scary they were.
Something catches her eye, and she pushes up to her forearms again with a pinched brow. Then she places her hand on my shoulder.
“Is this a new tattoo?” she asks.
Realizing what caught her eye, I only nod in answer.
Her touch moves over my skin. “Is it…a phoenix?”
Another nod.
Biting her lip, she asks curiously, “But aren’t they supposed to rise from the ashes?”
Placing my hand over hers, I guide it along the lines of the tattoo. Over the beautifully intricate fire-color bird, to its tail, down to the white lily blooming open on my chest. Her eyes meet mine, glassy with realization.
“They are. But mine rose from a lily.”