Chapter 38
CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT
Leona
The closer we got to the castle, the more my insides buzzed with nervous energy.
I didn’t know what else to call it, this feeling.
Something inside me was screaming to be let out.
Maybe it was the absence of him. Since the army arrived at Terrae Mortu, the monster in my head was deadly silent, and the darkness within me was going to eat me alive without him.
He was the only thing keeping me from going insane.
My mind was a mess of rage and guilt. I was angry all the time.
Nuri helped me channel it, but she had her own shit to deal with.
And as much as I ached to get high or drunk, it didn’t help.
It only made the screams of my sister louder.
The only one who could dull the screams was him. The monster in my head.
Nuri was getting suspicious. Whenever the inner thoughts were too much, I sparred with her. But lately, I preferred to be alone, so I could hear him. She was too observant and already tested me with questions.
“Lo,” Nuri called out, folding herself gracefully into the grass beside me.
We sat in silence, staring out at the dead lands before us. It was wild to see, the forest ended abruptly where Terrae Mortu began. Apparently, there was some crazy battle here, and the creatures who fought sucked the life right out of it.
“It is fitting that we are brought to this place.” Nuri spoke softly. “This is where the sins of my people took root. Where the start of our destruction began.”
“Did you see this place before it was ruined?” I asked, because I honestly did not get how these creatures aged. She could be five thousand years old for all I knew.
Nuri shoved me playfully. “No, asshole. I wasn’t alive then. Not even close. There are very few of us left who were, and almost all written records of it were destroyed. They wanted to bury their sins and pretend the war was necessary.”
“Do you think this one isn’t?” I cocked my head in her direction.
She sighed, the sound heavy with burdens I didn’t understand.
“I wanted to run away. When Lailah was faced with her responsibilities to the crown, I wanted to run. Would’ve left everyone behind.
Convinced her it was right. In the end, it was Lailah who did the right thing. She returned, she was the brave one.”
I didn’t respond.
Nuri’s eyes stared into the bright blue sky, almost mocking in its sunny happiness.
Nuri continued. “This battle, it will be the last one for me.” Her voice was quiet but filled with certainty.
“It will be the last one for many. Lailah believed her sisters could finally make things right. And I trust my mate.”
Her declaration eased some of the buzzing energy beneath my flesh.
For as long as I’d known her, Nuri was in mourning for her mate.
I’d never loved anyone that way. The idea of a mate, a creature out there meant to be mine, it was unlikely.
My soul was too damaged for something as pure as a mate bond.
“I spoke to Lahabiel before we left. After I killed Halphas.” Nuri’s words were devoid of the emotion from her previous declarations.
I knew she killed the lumen traitor. Lailah’s uncle had apparently been loyal to Belial long before anyone knew of his treachery.
There were several mysterious deaths in the palace that were acted out by him, some at Belial’s command, and some he did for fun.
Nuri claimed his death for herself. For Lailah, and for Aurora.
“Halphas told me it was he who led the rebellion that killed Belfegor,” Nuri continued. “Seraphina will be sad to have missed his death, but I think I made him suffer for it. Lahabiel asked me if killing him made me feel better.”
“Did it?” I knew the answer.
“Superficially, yes.” Nuri shrugged. “He deserved his death, but it doesn’t bring her back. It doesn’t bring any of them back.”
I sighed. This was not a new lecture. Nuri told me a decade ago my anger at Seraphina wouldn’t bring my sister back. Obviously not, but revenge still didn’t seem all that bad.
“She also told me that before the end, I would end up in the castle. And you would be with me.”
Now that was new information. “Why would I be there? I thought the plan was to keep non-magical creatures away from the battle unless absolutely necessary.”
Nuri shrugged. “The Scribe didn’t share the why of it. Just that you would know when it was time.”
“Why the fuck would I want to go in there?” My voice was a notch higher than I meant it to be, and Nuri eyed me with suspicion. “Maybe she was wrong.”
My mentor and only friend laughed. “Scribe Lahabiel is never wrong. Keep whatever secret you have a little longer than, Lo. But it will come out eventually. All secrets do.”