Chapter 7
Torren
I watch Felix through the window—the warm glow of the bedside table lamp making his pale skin glow like a sunrise.
I’ve watched him for days—followed his routine.
I drop the binoculars, and they land on my chest, the strap tugging at the back of my neck. The guards are gone, and the house is dark except for the light in his bedroom.
I race across the yard and leap onto the trellis, my arousal growing with each step I take to his bedroom window.
Felix’s room is empty, but the bathroom door is slightly ajar.
Steam billows out into the bedroom, and I carefully open the window and climb in.
I can hear the shower. He’s in there. What will he do when he sees me? Scream? Or will he be happy to see me?
I tread lightly across the floor, my pulse racing. When I reach the bathroom, I can barely see through the steam. It heats my face as I approach the tub. I can’t see anything.
I open the curtains and—
He’s on the floor, the hot water beating down on him, mixing with the blood that flows from his body. No! Who did this?
I reach down to help him. The blood pools around my hands as I try to lift him—
Holy fuck. Oh God.
I turn the light on my bedside table. I’m in my room. There are beer cans on the floor, and the smell of cigarette smoke lingers.
I passed out.
It was a dream.
God damn, that was awful.
My head spins, and there’s an overwhelming pressure behind my eyes.
That dream…
This is bad. Really bad.
I need to talk to Tobias.
* * *
The faded grey brick gives me a sense of nostalgia as my bike comes to a stop. I don’t come here during the day anymore. I usually arrive in the darkness of night for a round of kinky play in the Kitty Cat Club.
This used to be my home. After everything went down—the slaughter, burning down the Kays’ house to hide the evidence—Tobias and I found ourselves homeless at seventeen.
We took what little we had and squatted in this abandoned apartment building, turning it into the Hellcats’ meeting ground, which now serves as our hub.
Well, their hub.
The Kitty Cat Club, a BDSM sex club, opened later, but we quickly found it was a necessity. Tobias and I need a sexual release because of our trauma, and the club lets us channel our more primal instincts in a controlled environment with consenting adults.
I knock on the front door, and the lookout slides open, revealing a young man.
Must be a new recruit.
He opens the door and speaks with a curt tone. “What is it?”
Yeah, he definitely has no idea who I am. “I’d like to speak to my brother, Tobias.”
I hear someone curse, followed by hurried footsteps, and soon Jackson emerges. “Torren!” He quickly unlocks the door.
“How’s it going, Jacky?”
He gives me a fist bump, smiling as he looks me up and down, before chewing out the recruit. “Remember this face! This is Torren Kay. Royal treatment when you see him, dipshit!”
The new recruit apologizes, and I assure him it’s fine. I don’t give a shit about having my ass kissed.
But I’d be lying if I said I didn’t like it.
“I’d like to chat with Tobias. Is he in?” Tobias doesn’t have a cell for his own protection, so I can’t check in before I stop by.
“Yeah, he’s in his office. I’ll take you.” Jackson leads me into the foyer and up the stairs. It’s a six-story apartment building, and each floor is dedicated to a different division of the Hellcats, from hitmen to intelligence; they all have their own floor.
Tobias’s office is one flight up, where the sex workers live.
Prostitution is illegal—they can’t go to the police when they’re in danger, so we provide protection and a place to live.
Sex work is something we’re far too familiar with, and we wanted a safe place for those who choose that profession.
They can have client visits whenever they’d like, pay a small fee for the room, and receive an hourly rate if they want to work in the Kitty Cat Club—which is completely optional.
If anyone causes them trouble, a Hellcat intervenes.
As I follow Jackson down the hall, the pungent scent of perfume and sweat makes my nose crinkle. Men and women in leather mills about, some recognizing me and stopping to greet me with nods or grins.
We reach the double doors of Tobias’s office, and Jackson knocks.
My brother’s annoyed voice rings out, and I chuckle to myself. The doors open, revealing Tobias at his gigantic black desk surrounded by higher-ups.
Tobias’s gaze lands on me, and a warm smile stretches across his face. He waves me in, dismissing the men surrounding him, who all nod or shake my hand on their way out.
The door closes behind them, leaving me alone with my brother.
Tobias rises and gives me a great, big hug. “Missed you, Tor.”
“Likewise, Toby.”
We both hate the nicknames we give each other, but we continue using them anyway. We like to fuck with each other. It gives the illusion that we’re normal.
“It’s been too long,” Tobias says as he sits back down.
I sit on the leather-clad chair opposite him and cross my legs. “I know. That’s my fault.”
“Nah. I should come to the shop. I will one of these days—we’re just busy.”
Tobias basically has a stronghold on the underworld of the Northeast, so it’s not surprising he’s busy. “I’ll come more,” I assure him. “Just wanted to get things settled.”
“And how are things?”
I almost lie and say things are great, but that’s not why I came here. “I met someone recently. Not in a good way.”
It’s cryptic, and I know I should say more, but I’m still gathering my thoughts.
“From our past?” Tobias asks. He means the pedophiles who served as the Kays’ clients. We didn’t get all of them that night, but we did get a lot.
“No, someone completely unconnected to the past. He’s…well, he’s kind of important and—”
My throat closes, thinking about the dream I had with Felix. I close my eyes and tug on my jacket to help ground me in the here and now.
“Here.” I look up, and Tobias is handing me a bottle of water.
“Thanks,” I take a sip and force myself to continue. “I saw someone who made me feel like I did the night we killed them all. I don’t know why, but it fucked me up. I’ve been a wreck ever since, and I don’t know what it means.”
Tobias looks at me with concern. His eyes trail down to my hands, then back up to my eyes. “Is he older?”
“No. Younger. He’s nothing like the men. He’s young and beautiful and—”
I can feel my heartbeat in my temples. My eyes close, and I fill my lungs with air, trying to calm down. Just thinking about Felix makes my inner world quake. The tension inside tightens, and my anxiety spikes.
“You like him.” It isn’t a question. Tobias knows me too well.
I shake my head, “You know I don’t get that way with people, but—”
“This one is different,” he finishes.
I nod in defeat. Felix isn’t just beautiful. There’s a playfulness to his bratty ways that I find irresistible.
“What are you afraid of?” Tobias asks.
I sigh, looking at the desk that separates us, feeling like I’m a million miles away from him. “I’m afraid I’ll slip up—let him get close, and—” my voice trails off for a beat, before I add, “do something.” The something doesn’t need an explanation.
Tobias stands and goes to the window, looking out into the grey sky. “How important is he? Hard to make disappear?”
Tobias and I would do anything for each other. If that meant cleaning up the other’s mess, so be it. “Very important, and I don’t want anything like that to happen. I just don’t know who else to talk to. Nobody else would understand.”
He looks at me, and my heart swells. Tobias is ruthless, and I cherish the fact that he shows me his sympathy and compassion. “You’re going to be okay. It’s just a feeling. You didn’t act.”
“But what if I do?”
“You won’t. I know you won’t.” Tobias closes the distance between us and takes a seat on the desk, and rubs my shoulder. “Go to the club. Get it out of your system.”
Kitty Cat Club. Maybe he’s right. I just need to let it rip for a night—purge whatever is rumbling inside me with some willing participant. “You’re right.”
He gives me a meaningful look, examining my face and trying to sense if I’m really okay. “Stay a while. Have lunch with me.”
I’m about to agree when we hear a clamor outside. The double doors swing open, and two Hellcats drag a man inside with Trixie, a sex worker who lives here, following behind. “What happened?” Tobias yells as he rises and approaches the three men.
“This asshole choked Trixie—almost fucking killed her.”
My eyes land on Trixie. Her body shakes with fear, and her hand covers her neck. She has beautiful blue eyes, and they shimmer with tears. She’s on the smaller side, and this motherfucker they dragged in is big. Really big.
Suddenly, a bead of blood trails down her nose. Tobias is screaming at the man, but I zero in on Trixie and close the distance between us.
When I’m directly in front of her, I speak with a calm, slightly higher voice than I normally use to comfort her. “You’re okay now. We’ve got you.”
My words land, and the tears erupt. She drops her hands from her neck and rushes into my embrace.
I gasp.
The air shifts, becoming cooler, and there’s a high-pitched ringing in my ears before it stops.
And I become calm.
Very calm.
The bruises on her neck are severe—a grotesque shade of navy blue.
I turn her face toward mine. “Stay here.”
I step toward the men, motioning my brother away, and dismissing the Hellcats holding the guy’s arms.
It’s just him and me. I stand before him. Silent. Only the sounds of his heaving breaths fill the space.
“Look, man. I’m sorry I got—”
“Which hand?” I ask.
The man stops, looking at me with questioning eyes. “Huh?”
“Which hand?” I ask again. My voice is low and haunting.
“W-what do you—”
“Trixie, which hand was he using when he choked you. Can you remember?”
Trixie closes her eyes. I hate making her relive this, but I need to know. She thinks for a moment, then says, “His left.”
Red.
My hand shoots forward, catching his left in my grasp. My fingers close, shaking as I squeeze. The vibrations shoot up my arm, a surge of electricity flowing through me.
He looks at me with bulging eyes, and his face is twisted in a macabre expression. I think he’s screaming, but I can’t hear it.
All I hear is crunch. Bones snap—sharp and wet. Fingers bend in ways they shouldn’t. The blood is warm. Slippery. Soothing.
Tobias yanks my shoulder and pulls me back. I can see color again. The man writhes on the floor, clutching the mangled flesh and bone that used to be his hand, while agonized shrieks leave his mouth.
The Hellcats and Trixie look on with horrified expressions.
Tobias screams, “Get him out of here. Trixie, see Elias to get checked out.”
They all rush out, the Hellcats carrying the man who looks like he’s going into shock.
Tobias holds my face in his hands. “Look at me.”
I do—my eyes latching onto his blue irises. They’re light. Icy.
“Are you here?” he asks.
That’s when I look down at my hand covered in blood. I bring it to my face, a queasy feeling consuming my stomach. “Fuck,” is all I can say.
Tobias rests his forehead against mine. “Torren. Whoever that guy is you’re crazy about, it’s best to leave him alone.”
Jesus. I’m so screwed.