Chapter 31
Torren
Mrs. Kay holds the cellar door open with a look of disdain on her face. My dirty high-tops peel off the stone stairs as I carefully descend into darkness. She slams the door shut, and I stop at the middle of the stairs, shrouded in darkness.
A groan cuts through the darkness, scaring me to death.
Who could be down here?
For a minute, I wonder if the client has already arrived, but then I hear another moan. And another.
I turn on my heels and try to open the door, but it’s locked.
“Please! Please let me out!”
“Torren!”
I hear my name screamed through the grunts of pain. “Torren!”
It doesn’t sound like Tobias. I run down the stairs and flip on the blue light.
I pull back, slamming into the wall and sinking to the ground. It’s them. All of the men Tobias and I killed are dying on the floor.
I scream into my hands when someone touches me. I startle and swing my fist on instinct, but nearly pass out when I see who it is.
“Felix?”
“Come.” Felix takes my hand. He wants me to walk through the mess of bodies, but I can’t. It’s too much. “Just ignore them. Come with me.”
It’s disgusting, walking over their bodies like I’m navigating around dog shit, but we eventually make our way to the bed. The groans finally stop, and Felix lies down. He pats the bed and says, “Come lie with me.”
I’m so flummoxed. What’s happening? I look up, catching my reflection in the mirror, and see…
Me.
Not child me. Adult me. Me now.
Then I notice that the bodies are gone. It’s just us—nobody else.
He opens his arms, inviting me to rest, so I crawl up the bed and lay my head on his chest.
I can hear his heartbeat.
“You’re not scared of me?” I ask.
“No.”
He doesn’t understand. I have to make him see. “B-but what if I hurt you? What if it all—“
Felix shushes me and runs his fingers through my hair. “You won’t hurt me, Torren. I’m certain of that. You don’t have to be scared anymore.”
My breath hitches because his words are like a key unlocking a door in my mind. I’ve been scared for so long—terrified of having my heart broken again. Scared to death that I’d get my hopes up only to have them crushed just like before.
“You’re okay.” He says
Felix continues combing his fingers through my hair and says, “You’re okay. You’re okay.”
He says it over and over again, and soon his voice shifts and….
“You’re okay.”
I wake up in Felix’s arms with my head resting on his chest. His heartbeat draws me away from the dream, calming my racing mind. I clench my eyes shut and listen, the steady rhythm lulling me into a state of tranquility.
“Are you okay?” he asks.
I lift my head from his chest and look at him. “I am,” I say in total shock. I am okay. I don’t think I’ve woken up feeling this light in my entire life.
We’re together on my bed, and I glance outside to see it’s dark. Now I remember climbing down the ladder and falling asleep in his arms. I must have been asleep for hours.
“You were whimpering, and I just didn’t know if you were having a nightmare. I wasn’t sure if I should wake you up, but you sounded scared, so…”
Felix looks at me with knitted brows, his eyes kind and caring.
“I’m sorry—that was dumb. Should have let you sleep. I just didn’t—”
Without even thinking, I kiss him. I don’t have words for how grateful I am to have him here at this moment, and kissing him feels like the only way to thank him.
I pull back, meeting his shocked gaze. A surprised smile creeps onto his face, so I kiss him again.
This time, slower, savoring his taste and cupping his cheek with my hand.
He makes a startled sound, but he doesn’t push me away.
No, he wraps his arms around me, and I melt into his embrace—our lips quickly finding a rhythm.
He doesn’t taste like bubblegum this time—he tastes like him. There’s nothing masking his taste.
Our kissing grows frantic, desperate. My body pushes forward, pressing him to the bed. When I pull back, I see the droopy-eyed look on his face.
“Thank you,” I whisper.
Felix cocks his head to the side. “For what?” he asks.
“For being you and letting me talk. For not running away.”
Felix sits up and pulls me close. “You don’t have to thank me for that. I want you to trust me. You can tell me anything.”
Something takes over me, not the beast that I try to suppress, but something else—a deep yearning. I need to touch him. My lips find his again, and I start sliding his t-shirt up. I pull back to slide it over his head, then take off my top.
We kiss, bare-chested, my hands finding his smooth skin. I don’t want to overpower or control him. I just need a connection—to link our bodies and feel him against me. I don’t even care if we have sex; I just need him close.
But, soon, passion takes over. We tear off our pants, tossing them aside before pulling each other closer, reveling in the taste of each other’s lips.
Once Felix is naked, I look down to see his stiff cock leaking at the head.
The pink shade contrasting with his pale skin makes the fire simmering inside me ignite.
My hands press him to a lying position, and I crawl to his mid-section and envelop his cock with my mouth, loving the bitter taste of his precum.
I suck him to the back of my throat, reveling in the sounds of pleasure it elicits from his sweet lips.
He gasps as I slide my mouth up and down his shaft.
My hands cup his balls, massaging them while I continue sucking.
I’m not just sucking his dick. I’m worshiping Felix—treasuring him.
I always top. Always. But, tonight, I want to bottom for Felix. I want to feel him inside me. I want him to cum inside me so I can keep a part of him forever.
I’m not really sure if he even likes topping, though. “Felix. I want to ride you.”
His eyes grow wide. “Really?” His shock is kind of hilarious.
I nod, then ask. “Is that okay? Are you vers?”
Felix’s open mouth curls into a grin. “Mmhmm,” he nods. “I’m down for anything, sexy.”
I know my smile is wicked, and I spit on his dick, and slick it with my hand, stroking him and loving the way his eyes roll back. My right hand reaches for the bedside table drawer, and I grab the lube while stroking his dick.
I pour a generous amount on his cock, stroking him to ensure he’s rock solid, then position myself over him.
I line his cock with my hole and slowly slide down, my head reeling back and a deep moan escaping my mouth.
Once he breaches the first ring of muscle, the two of us release a collective gasp.
He stares at me in awe, so I lean over and kiss him once more before sliding down all the way.
He pulls back from the kiss to yell, “Holy shit.”
“Have you ever topped before?” I ask.
“Like…once.”
Knowing that I’m one of the few guys he’s topped does something to me. I sit upright, my knees against the bed, enjoying the way his cock stretches my ass, before I start riding him.
Felix releases a long, deep moan as I pump my ass on his dick.
I haven’t bottomed since I was with the Kays, but I want to bottom for Felix. This man, who has dealt with my shit for months and still held me in my darkest moment, needs to be inside of me.
Once I get used to him, I ride his dick with fervor, falling into a trance as a look of pleasure washes over his face. Felix’s hands find my chest, caressing my nipples. I place my left hand on his, pressing it over my heart, hoping to convey just how much I care about him.
He gets it. His face shifts, and, soon, we’re not just fucking. Our eyes lock, staring into each other’s souls.
“Felix,” I rasp out.
His hand travels up, cupping my face, and I turn to suck on his fingers. Everything about Felix in this moment is perfect: his gorgeous face, the way his fingers taste, the feel of his length stretching me. It’s all perfect.
I adjust, positioning myself on my feet so I can lean back and ride him. It makes his dick glide against my prostate in the best way possible, and I start mewling between calling out his name.
“Torren,” Felix gasps. “You’re so tight. I’m gonna come soon.”
“Fill me up, Felix. I want you inside me. Please.”
I pump faster, and Felix hits the deepest part of me, sending me into a frenzy. My eyes roll back, my vision blurring as I ride him harder. It feels incredible. “Felix. I’m gonna come, too.”
He releases a cry and floods me with warmth. I push down on him, making sure he shoots his cum as deep as possible.
My back arches, and I grip my cock, pumping it while I look upward, white spots clouding my vision. My hole tightens around his cock as I feel my orgasm building. It’s knowing how deep he is inside me that finally sets off a mind-blowing orgasm that has me hollering at the top of my lungs.
I look down and see Felix is droopy-eyed with a lazy smile on his face. A warm feeling washes over me, knowing I did that.
He’s also covered in my cum. I trail my finger in it and say, “Sorry.”
“Please, don’t apologize,” he urges. “That was amazing.”
My forehead rests against his, and we breathe each other in as we come down from the intensity of it all.
Felix cups my face with his hand and whispers, “Torren. We didn’t use the handcuffs.”
I hadn’t even realized we didn’t have them; I was just so determined to connect with him.
I don’t know what it means, but I hope it’s over—the sick urges I feel around him. Maybe this is what I needed—to tell someone my truth.
Or maybe Felix being here, holding me through it all, treating me like a person and not a monster, has mended my fractured heart.
When he met me, my heart was broken. I thought it would always be broken. But this sassy, beautiful man is putting it back together, and I’m so grateful that he’s back in my life—that I didn’t push him away for good.
Felix kisses me and rolls me to my side, pulling me closer and peppering me with kisses all over my face, neck, and lips. We’re a mess, but I don’t care. We’ll clean up later. For now, I just want to be near him.
I don’t know what any of this means. All I know is that I want him close.
All the time.
Felix
Torren and I stand across from each other in his little kitchen.
His stance is open, unguarded. The walls are falling, and that tether of attraction we’ve always had is turning into a real connection.
It means everything to me that he shared the secrets of his past. It’s not just that he felt safe enough to share it with me, but it’s the context. He’s letting me in—letting me understand him.
“Hope you like coffee black and bitter,” Torren says, rubbing the back of his neck. “Sorry, there isn’t any milk or cream.”
I chuckle, looking down at the steaming black coffee in my mug. “If I didn’t like dark and bitter, I never would have chased you.”
“Ha. Ha.” Then he actually laughs, and it does everything for me. His eyes close, and he sighs. “I wish you could stay longer,” he laments.
“Same, but Daddy needs his puppet.”
Torren leans back, looking deep into my eyes. “You’re really going to move out? Start a new life?”
I nod vigorously, more sure than ever of my conviction to leave that life behind me. “Yes. As soon as I get the money, I’m out of there.”
Torren knits his brows, looking at me with a wary expression. He starts to speak, but his voice cuts out. “What is it?” I ask.
His eyes trail down to the floor. He nibbles on his lower lip, then says, “Nothing.”
“I have to go,” I whine. I really don’t want to leave—especially after everything that’s happened between us—but I need to keep up appearances with Father until I can get the hell out of there.
Torren crosses the distance and puts his hands on my arms. “You can come here anytime. I—” he stops, clenching his eyes shut, then looks at me and adds, “I want to help. As much as I can.”
“I’ll be fine.”
Torren moves closer, reaching out for my hand. “You promise you’ll call me if you need anything?”
“I promise.”
Are we still friends with benefits? I want to ask, but I’m scared that I’ll push him away.
He walks me to my bike, and I leave. It’s hard to go, but I have to.
At least for now.