Chapter 38
Hallie
“Are you sure you’re okay?” I ask Rio as we wait around the kitchen island for dinner to be plated so we can carry it into the dining room.
“Of course I am.” He forces a smile on his face, running a hand down my back. “Don’t worry about me, Hal. I’m good.”
But he’s not. Rio has been quiet and unlike himself ever since he came out of Indy’s home office a couple of hours ago. It’s Sunday and he doesn’t go a Sunday without talking to his mom. Only today, she didn’t answer his call, and I can tell it’s bothering him. The strain in their relationship has been weighing on him for weeks, regardless that he thinks he’s doing a good job of hiding it from me.
Mia DeLuca, Rio’s mom, is such an integral piece of his life, and they’re barely communicating because of me. When they do get on the phone, it quickly turns sour when my name is brought up.
Watching it happen firsthand is making me even more understanding as to why he made the choices he did all those years ago. Twenty-seven-year-old Rio is struggling with them not getting along. It’s no wonder twenty-one-year-old Rio did what he thought was right by her when her life was falling apart.
I hate to see him hurting this way, but I don’t know how to fix it if Mrs. DeLuca doesn’t want to listen.
Rio places a quick kiss on my hair before taking one of the entrée plates into the dining room. I grab the salad bowl and follow behind, placing it with the rest of the dishes in the center before taking a seat next to him at the Shays’ massive dining room table.
It’s evident that their house was chosen with the want to host in mind. It’s warm and inviting, as are the people in it.
This is the first family dinner I’ve been able to attend now that I’ve quit my second job, but Rio has been trying to get me to join for weeks. I finally have weekends and evenings free and have spent the month of February going to all his home games, working on finishing his house renovations, and getting to know these other eight people around the table.
But even if I could’ve joined a family dinner over the past couple of weeks, this is the first one that everyone has been able to attend anyway.
Kennedy and Isaiah have been gone for spring training, but were sent home early so Kennedy could get her department in order before Opening Day and Isaiah could train here while giving some of the new guys a chance to get some playing time.
“Indy,” Rio says, trying not to laugh. “What’s wrong?”
I look over to find her brown eyes glossing over from her seat at the dinner table.
“Nothing.” She shakes her head. “This is just really nice. Everyone is here. It finally feels... complete.”
She looks over to me and smiles.
“Blue,” her husband chuckles, running a soothing hand over her back. “There’s no need to cry over that, baby.”
“I can’t help it! It’s who I am.”
The table as a whole laughs, which I’m quickly learning is acceptable when she cries about something that isn’t sad.
Ryan wraps an arm over her shoulders to pull her into his side, kissing her on the top of her head. “It’s one of the many reasons I love you.”
“Thank you for having me,” I cut in. “Your home is beautiful.”
She wipes under her eyes, smiling. “It is so good to have you here, Hallie. You’re the final piece, even though I guess you were technically the first piece, knowing him as long as you have.”
Under the table, Rio runs his hand over my thigh, squeezing it.
I’ve loved getting to know these people, especially the other four girls. But knowing how close Indy and Rio are, it’s been especially nice to get to know her. I can see why they’ve become as good of friends as they are.
“Speaking of beautiful homes,” Kennedy begins, “Rio’s place looks amazing already. It’s been fun to follow the progress on your social media.”
I find him watching me with a proud smile as food is passed around the table. With each dish, he puts some on my plate before adding a serving to his.
“I can hardly recognize it,” Kai adds. “Mills was showing me the pictures online.”
“It’s coming along,” I say. “Also, if I haven’t already said it enough, thank you all so much for sharing my stuff on your accounts. The firm has been buried with inquiries and it’s a huge reason why I was offered a full-time position after my internship ends.”
“Hell yeah, you were!” Miller raises her Corona in the air.
“That was all you,” Rio says from next to me as we begin eating. “We just made sure more people got to see how talented you are.”
“I filled out an inquiry form last week,” Zanders says plainly.
Every pair of eyes turns to him in confusion.
“Tyler was asking me about it,” I tell him with excitement. “He’s hoping to use your project for an upcoming episode of his show.”
“That’d be great.” Zanders nods to himself. “More exposure for the center, but I want you to be the designer on the project.”
“I definitely will be.”
Stevie looks at him, more confused than anyone else. “What project are we referring to?”
He tries to act completely nonchalant about it, moving food around on his plate. “Well, you and Cheryl have been talking about moving Senior Dogs of Chicago into a bigger building. I found one. I bought it. I want Hallie to design it so there’s more room for people to come visit the dogs, hang out with them, and take them on walks.”
She stares at him, dumbfounded.
“What?” he asks, trying to bite back his smile. It’s drastically different from the arrogant version I’ve gotten to know.
“How people ever thought you were an asshole, I’ll never understand.”
Zanders chuckles. “Stevie girl, I hate to break it to you, but you were one of those people.”
“We’re five years past that.” She waves him off. “Zee, we can board so many more animals in a bigger space.”
“Plus, Tyler’s show is huge,” Rio cuts in. “If you guys do an episode with him and get some of the guys from the team involved too, you could get so much exposure for the center. You’d have people wanting to adopt from everywhere. Not only Chicago.”
“Thank you,” she says quietly to her husband with a beaming grin.
He’s acting as if buying her business an entirely new building is no big thing, smiling at her knowingly without saying anything more about it.
“Was the other house on your Instagram account your first project?” Indy asks me.
“My first official project, yes. Outside of redoing my childhood bedroom a million times growing up.”
I watch Rio smile to himself as he chews his dinner.
“That house on my account is my roommate’s home. Actually, Ryan, you might know her brother. Cruz Wilder.”
He pauses with his fork midway to his mouth. “Cruz Wilder?”
“Yeah, he plays basketball too.”
“I’m sorry, what?” He places his fork back on his plate, turning to Rio. “Your neighbor is Cruz Wilder’s sister?”
“Yeah.” He shrugs casually. “He owns the house. She’s living in it while finishing school.”
Ryan’s eyes go impossibly wide. “You’re telling me you’ve been living next to Cruz Wilder’s sister for...”
“Four years.”
Ryan laughs but it’s laced with disbelief. “You’ve lived next to Cruz Wilder’s sister for four years and you’ve never once mentioned it? Those brothers are huge names in their own respective sports. The oldest Wilder is going to be inducted into the NFL Hall of Fame one day, and the youngest brother was the MLB Rookie of the Year a few years back.”
“Wait,” Isaiah cuts in. “Easton Wilder? He’s a beast, and he’s only in his third season in the league. You’re living next to his sister?”
Kennedy’s eyes go wide. “He’s amazing. Every time we play against him, I’m shocked by how good he is already.”
“Okay.” Isaiah holds his hands out to stop her. “He’s not that great, Ken.”
“I don’t know,” she teases. “He’s pretty great.”
Isaiah takes her left hand and places it flat on the table. “Okay, just making sure it’s still there.”
She laughs. “I haven’t taken off my wedding ring in three years, you caveman. Still your wife. Still fully obsessed with you.”
Isaiah wraps his arm over her shoulders. “Hell yeah, you are.”
“The Wilder family is West Coast sports royalty,” Zanders says. “They’re all playing in the same city now, close to where they grew up, I think. It’s a huge fucking deal.”
“You’ve been living next to their sister this whole time and never mentioned it?” Kai shakes his head with a laugh. “And you’ve spent all these years fanboying over Ryan?”
“Well yeah, he’s Ryan fucking Shay.” Rio turns to him. “Don’t worry, honey. Cruz Wilder will never be you.”
“But he basically is. He’s the West Coast version of me.” It sounds like Ryan is fanboying now. “I’m a huge fan of his, even when I have to pretend I’m not a few times a year when we play each other.”
“Wren is great too,” I chime in.
Rio chuckles. “Wren is great. She’s been an awesome neighbor and I’m going to miss her when she moves.”
“She’s moving?” Ryan asks, outraged. “You had four years to tell us about her and her family and now she’s moving?”
“Damn, Ry,” Indy teases. “Do you need him to get you an autograph or something?”
“Yeah. Kinda.”
“Where’s she moving?” Kennedy asks.
“Back home to Northern California,” I tell her. “Now that all her brothers are playing for their hometown, she wants to get back home too. I hope to visit her at some point, though.”
Rio smiles at me. “We’ll definitely do that.”
“Yeah,” Ryan agrees. “Maybe we should make that a group trip.”
Miller cackles. “Fanboy Ryan Shay might be my new favorite.”
“Back to the house,” Isaiah cuts in. “Are we having a housewarming party or what? With you most likely moving this summer, we should enjoy the new house while you’ve still got it.”
The entire room goes silent, and Kennedy smacks him in the shoulder.
“What?” Isaiah asks with an edge of innocence. “We all know what’s going on. I don’t know why we’re pretending like we don’t.”
“Fuck it. We can talk about it.” Rio sits back in his seat. “Boston is going to make an offer after the season ends as long as I don’t re-sign with Chicago, and it’s my childhood dream to play for them.”
When he looks in my direction, I give him a wink, telling him I’m on board.
“And I’m sorry I didn’t say something before,” he continues. “But leaving you guys isn’t exactly something I’ve been stoked to talk about.”
“Rio, you’ve got to do what’s best for you,” Zanders says. “I think we all understand the appeal of playing for our hometown team.”
Rio nods.
Kai sits forward, forearms on the table. “And it’s not like you’re going to leave and that’s it. You’re going to be back here to see Hallie, right?”
“Of course.”
“Don’t worry about all of us,” Stevie adds. “We’re all going to still love you.”
Rio’s attention shifts to Ryan. “Is that true, Ryan?”
The tension dissipates with a laugh from everyone, thanks to Rio’s futile attempts to get the basketball superstar to admit he loves him.
Ryan shakes his head. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
Indy tries to discreetly wipe her cheeks again.
Rio sighs when he spots her. “Ind.”
She offers him a placating smile. “Just going to miss you is all.”
“We’ll chat later, okay?”
She nods to agree.
There’s still a heaviness lingering over the room.
“So, uh...” Isaiah begins again. “Are we having a party at your house or what?”
Kennedy shakes her head at him. “One-track mind, I swear.”
“Hell yeah, we’re having a party. I was hoping the house would be ready for Hallie’s birthday, so we could celebrate both, but a couple of the projects got delayed. We’ll get something planned in April or May for the house.”
Indy’s sadness begins to shift when she sits up excitedly. “Wait. Hallie, when is your birthday?”
“Next Saturday.”
“What? We have to do something! Next Sunday’s dinner has to be a birthday dinner.”
“I’ll make a cake!” Miller chimes in.
Rio squeezes my thigh again and I don’t do a great job of hiding my smile. It feels really nice to make new friends again.
“Wait, when do we get home?” Zee asks him.
“We’ll get back late Saturday night. Coach wants to stay an extra night to see his family in Montréal. I already tried to convince him to let us fly home Friday after the game instead, but he’s not into it.”
“Sunday dinner will be fun,” I interrupt. I don’t need him to feel bad about something he can’t change. And honestly, whenever we do celebrate, I know it’ll be the best birthday I’ve had in a long time. “I’m looking forward to it.”
“Speaking of March birthdays.” Miller sits up in her seat. “Did you all get the invite to Max’s party?”
“How the hell is he going to be five already?” Kennedy asks rhetorically.
Kai shakes his head. “I can’t talk about it.”
“The baseball theme is so cute,” Stevie says with a sweet smile.
Ryan chuckles. “Was that his idea?”
“Oh yeah. He’s obsessed with baseball right now.” Miller pulls out her phone and holds up a picture for all of us to see. “He’s starting T-ball, and we just picked up his very first uniform.”
Right there on her phone screen is little Max, a big smile on his face, wearing his brand-new uniform with number twenty-one on it.
“He’s wearing his dad’s number.” Zee grins. “Did he choose that himself?”
“I seriously cannot talk about this.” Kai takes off his glasses, pressing his thumb and forefinger against his closed eyes.
Miller laughs but runs her hand over her husband’s back.
Isaiah smiles. “We asked him what number he wanted to wear, and he said he wanted his dad’s number. It was fucking adorable.”
“I fucking love that kid.” Kai sighs. “But I have no idea how he’s old enough to play already. Where did the time go? It feels like yesterday Miller was bringing him to the field to take his very first steps.”
Miller smiles softly at him, giving his shoulder a squeeze.
“How’d you pick your jersey number in the first place?” Indy asks. “Does twenty-one mean something?”
“Oh, fuck me ,” Rio mutters under his breath for only me to hear.
“Great question, Indy!” I drape my arm over Rio’s shoulder, excited for this conversation.
“Not exactly,” Kai says. “I was twelve years old and didn’t know what number to pick, so I flipped the numbers of my age because that’s how my twelve-year-old brain worked.”
Isaiah chuckles. “And I’m two years younger, so I picked the number that was two less than his. Nineteen.”
Rio is completely silent next to me, and I know he’s hoping for this conversation to die, but I refuse to let it. “Ryan, how about you?”
“I don’t have a good reason. I was, what? Five or six years old when I first joined a team.” He looks to his sister for confirmation. “And I was sick the day they picked numbers, so they handed me a jersey with number five on it when I came back. I haven’t changed it since.”
“How consistent of you, baby.” Indy laughs, dropping her head to his shoulder. “Zee?”
“Mine is simple. Number one was taken at the time and I figured that number eleven was even better because it’s number one twice.”
There’s a small laugh among the group because from what I’ve gotten to know of Zanders, that thought process tracks.
Everyone turns their attention to Rio, but he doesn’t answer.
“Rio?” Stevie pushes. “What about you?”
He hesitates for a long moment, not looking in my direction. I’m just sitting here with a smug smile on my face and my arm draped over his shoulder, ecstatic that I’m finally going to get the answer to the question I’ve been curious about for months.
“Well,” he begins slowly. “I was always number eighty-three growing up.”
“So, you flipped the numbers?” Miller guesses.
“Not exactly. I didn’t know what number to choose when I was a kid, so I picked the number of my favorite day, which was, of course, my birthday. August third. Eighty-three.”
Realization finally dawns on me. I forgot that his old number was his birthdate. Which means his new number is...
“When I got to training camp in Chicago, they asked me if I wanted to keep eighty-three, but I decided it was time to change it to my actual favorite day.”
My birthday. March eighth. Thirty-eight.
He’s been wearing my birthdate on his jersey for six years and I had no idea.
He slowly turns over his shoulder to look at me.
I lean my chin on my arm that’s resting on him, a painfully big smile on my mouth. “So, you like really like me, huh?” I tease quietly for only him to hear.
“I think we both know it’s a little deeper than that, even if we’re still pretending it’s one of those unspoken things.” He turns to press a quick kiss to my lips. “And I have for fifteen years, Hal. You’ve had me hooked since the day you became the girl next door.”
I drop the last dirty dish by the sink while Ryan finishes washing them.
Isaiah is cleaning up the table, Kennedy is putting the leftovers in Tupperware, and Kai, Miller, Stevie, and Zanders are grabbing their sleeping kids from upstairs to take them home.
It’s getting late and we’re all ready to go, so I sneak away to Indy’s home office where I hung my coat in the closet when I first got here, but when I get to the office door, I find it locked.
I’m about to go ask Ryan if I could get in there when I hear Rio’s voice coming from inside the room.
“I’m going to sign.”
“You are?” I hear Indy ask, but I don’t know how to read the tone. Is she surprised, or is she simply agreeing with him?
“But I don’t know how I’m going to tell her.” There’s an edge of panic in Rio’s tone. “How is she supposed to come visit? My mom refuses to even let me talk about Hallie, and I’m supposed to assume they’ll be able to be in the same room?”
My stomach drops.
It’s not hearing that he’s going to sign with his hometown team that makes me feel sick. I’ve known that for a while. But instead, it’s the confirmation that his mother’s disdain for me has been eating away at him as I suspected it was.
“It’ll work itself out,” Indy tries to soothe.
“It’s not that simple, Ind. It’s actually very fucking complicated. I can’t give you all the details of why that is but trust me. The history between them is not some kind of small misunderstanding that will go away on its own.”
He’s right about that. Our situation is nuanced. Only he and I will ever fully understand.
“Rio, you have to do what’s best for you.”
“I know.” There’s a long pause. “But it makes me sick to think that for the rest of my life my mom isn’t going to approve of the woman I love. How the fuck am I supposed to be okay with that, Indy?”
I walk away before she responds because I shouldn’t be a part of this conversation.
I create as much distance as possible between me and the door as I listen to my pounding heart in my ears. And not because Rio just admitted that he loves me. I already knew that too. My heart is racing because he’s right.
He shouldn’t be okay with his mother not liking the woman he’s with. And I know with every fiber of my being that I can no longer be that woman.
That realization is so painful that I think I’m going to be sick.
I just... I don’t know how I could even get the words out. The thought of that conversation, which is one I believed I’d never have to have, makes me physically ill. Not to mention, how will I ever find even courage to do what I know has to be done?
Rio’s mom is his only family. He loves her the same way I love my dad, and I won’t be the reason that relationship falls apart.
I refuse to be.